I am a lady in waiting...

[Amsmit09]

Hello:

I haven't posted on this section of this site yet, but was hoping someone might have advise to help me feel better about something that happened last night.

So my BF has been having me research what colors, cuts, clarity, etc. I like in order to give him a reference point for a diamond. Well I went out looking around locally Saturday and saw some different colors, and while I was out I also texted a friend of mine and asked what color her ring was, that was it, no other details. When she first got engaged she was very open with the size of the ring so I thought asking her color would be no big deal. I know what her ring looks like in person and was just wondering to get a reference point of color. Also she could care less that I asked, which I know for a fact.

Well I told my BF last night that I has asked her that and he was so mad that I asked someone I knew that question. I said I guess I have just been on PS a ton and everyone talks about it. But he said "they are strangers!" Another factor to consider in this story is that she is married to a good friend of his, and that's how I have become friends with her. But her and I have become good friends and text, email, hang out and talk all the time. The BF got nasty with me and I just kind of didn't talk to him anymore for the night went to bed and am now still feeling guilty for asking her this.

I feel that I should not feel guilty about this, but he pretty much made me feel totally guilty for asking her this! However, he has been asking his guy friends who have purchased rings similar questions and finding out about rings too through them. I guess I don't see how it's any different than what I asked.

 

[amc80]

I think your boyfriend overreacted a bit. The only thing I can think of is he's one of the "private" types who doesn't want others to know you guys are ring shopping. My bf is like this.

I don't think it's rude at all to ask someone what color their diamond is, especially if you phrased it like "Hey, I love your diamond, it's so sparkly blah blah. Would you mind me asking what the color is on it?".

It sounds like your boyfriend is just stressed out about the whole thing, since I can't really see any reason for him to snap like that. Good luck! Oh, and welcome

 

[Amsmit09]

He is the very private type, but I don't think about buying the ring per say because he has been asking his other guy friends.

I think he thinks I offended his friends by asking them because he would consider that information private.

But he is super private about everything! Me not so much LOL.

 

[Glitz]

My thoughts are that maybe he wants to be in control of the whole ring process, or at least let everyone think that he's done all the work and picked out the ring all on his own. Maybe he just feels like your stepping on his toes a bit. Either way, I'm sorry he overreacted about the whole situation.

What kind of ring do you have your eyes set on?

 

[Amsmit09]

Well he actually asked me to go out and have a jeweler show me in person different colors and stuff because he wanted to know what preference I have for color in a diamond. So I guess I was just trying to do my research.

Is asking someone the color of their ring too personal?

As for the ring I have my eye on: I really like round cut diamond in a halo setting with micro pave diamonds half way down the band.

 

[Glitz]

Guys are strange, if he told you to go out and research he really can't get to upset over you asking a friend. I also don't think it's a very personal question, unless you can obviously tell they have a lower coloured stone and the way you ask them sounds snooty. But from what it sounds like, everything is cool with your friend and it's just your SO acting all strange over it. I just wouldn't ask anymore questions to people you know. Since he said to ask jewellers and told you PS doesn't count because we're strangers than I think his issue has to do with people you know in real life knowing about your upcoming engagement & ring.

I know that when my SO and I were looking at rings he didn't want me to tell anyone in real life. His reasoning was that he didn't want friends hounding him about when he's going to propose/get married, he said it would be a lot of pressure.

BTW, your ring sounds very nice!

 

[Amsmit09]

Thanks Glitz.

Makes me feel better, like I am not the one who should feel guilty. Obviously he did not like that I asked but whatever. I won't ask or talk to anyone else unless their is a certified professional involved LOL! My friend has a F color definitely nothing to be ashamed of, and I wasn't trying to be competitive because I could go as low as an H or I color.

Thanks, I have always known I wanted a round in a halo ever since I had this costume jewelry ring like that.