MRBXXXFVVS1
Brilliant_Rock
- Joined
- Dec 5, 2019
- Messages
- 1,450
How would you rate your self-esteem? How has it changed over time?
It wasn't until recently that I realized that I have rather low self-esteem. I think this stems from growing up in a hyper competitive, achievement, and results focused environment. This resulted in a relentless chase of academic, professional, and financial "success" to "prove" my (self) worth, as nothing was ever good enough. I was (still am) very selfless and altruistic, meeting all "obligations" even though I don't want to, probably because subconsciously I put everyone's worth above my own.
Looking back, I find this to be very mentally and emotionally damaging. I'm still struggling with this, but everyday I try to fight it and take steps to build my self-worth and esteem, but it's not easy to take one's mental/emotional health "down to the studs" and rebuild, after being wired and reinforced to be a certain way. I hope I can find balance and not overcompensate with my hopefully future children. I want them to be healthy, happy, loved, and kind people. Everyone is different, but honestly it makes me sad when I hear/see kids participating in extra-curricular academics, tiger parenting, or people working 100 hours a week and chasing the next promotion.
It wasn't until recently that I realized that I have rather low self-esteem. I think this stems from growing up in a hyper competitive, achievement, and results focused environment. This resulted in a relentless chase of academic, professional, and financial "success" to "prove" my (self) worth, as nothing was ever good enough. I was (still am) very selfless and altruistic, meeting all "obligations" even though I don't want to, probably because subconsciously I put everyone's worth above my own.
Looking back, I find this to be very mentally and emotionally damaging. I'm still struggling with this, but everyday I try to fight it and take steps to build my self-worth and esteem, but it's not easy to take one's mental/emotional health "down to the studs" and rebuild, after being wired and reinforced to be a certain way. I hope I can find balance and not overcompensate with my hopefully future children. I want them to be healthy, happy, loved, and kind people. Everyone is different, but honestly it makes me sad when I hear/see kids participating in extra-curricular academics, tiger parenting, or people working 100 hours a week and chasing the next promotion.