DEDudley709
Rough_Rock
- Joined
- Jul 7, 2008
- Messages
- 5
Hi everyone!
I'm new to these forums. I wanted your opinion on a situation my cousin had to deal with just last week. We can both use the advice/comments as I'm getting married next year. OK, i'll make this as short as possible.
Here we go
:
My cousin is getting married this coming weekend (the 12th) and planning had been going pretty smoothly. Then 2 weeks ago FMIL calls my cousin and tells her that those on the list for the rehersal dinner cannot bring a date if they are single. That is more than half of the list and includes all of the wedding party(8 bridesmaids, 8 groomsman)! Her reason, it costs too much. My cousin and her mom both tell her if money is the issue then do something different where dates can be included. Like a BBQ or a favorite resturant. She flat out says "No, I want it at the country club. Therefore, no dates." Keep in mind that FMIL has had the list for months now and when she recieved it, she agreed that those who were single could bring a date. That totalled at 61 pp including dates, very large wedding. Long and short, cousin and FI get upset, MOB and FMIL have a huge fight(I.e. screaming, cussing each other) over the phone.
" Cousin tells FI this is his mom, he needs to step up and handle it. So FI goes home to talk to FMIL(it was more like set her straight, this is how its going to be thing). In the process of this, cousin's side of the family finds out, talks about it then decides if this how FMIL is going to act, they want no part of the RD. When FI goes home to "talk" to her, he tells her this and also tells her how much of a jerk she is being. Next day, FMIL calls MOB and Bride and apologizes for her behavior. Ok, everything is cool again.
Fast forward to last Tues., by now the invites for the RD have been sent out and those invited are starting to RSVP. Cousin and MOB notice the # on the invite to RSVP is a cell # but think nothing of it. About 3 pm cousin gets a call from one of her BMs. Bridesmaid tells her that she just called FMIL and RSVPd telling FMIL that she would be bringing a date and gives the name. FMIL tells her that she is not allowed a date and date isn't invited. Cousin is livid and calls FMIL directly.
" They have a huge arguement and FMIL hangs up on cousin. Cousin calls mom and fills her in, MOB tries to phone FMIL, but FMIL refuses to answer the phone. FI gets off from work (he is a marine corp officer) and cousin fills him in on what has happened. FI is also livid also and calls his father, tells father what FMIL did. Father tells son "I'll deal with this, tell those who are bringing dates that their dates are welcome to come." Father being true to his word deals with the situation and everything is fine again.
I think my cousin and her FI handled things as best they could in that situation. If it had been me the second time she pulled that i would have said screw it and had my own RD, free of FMIL drama. Knowing how cousin's FMIL is, i kind of saw this coming.
So, comments and advice are welcome. Would you have done the same as cousin or would you have done something different?
P.S. FMIL is still mad that FFIL overruled her on the dates thing. She was invited to my cousin's bridal party lunchon and boycotted it. I feel for cousin and what she will have to put up with in the future.
I'm new to these forums. I wanted your opinion on a situation my cousin had to deal with just last week. We can both use the advice/comments as I'm getting married next year. OK, i'll make this as short as possible.
Here we go

My cousin is getting married this coming weekend (the 12th) and planning had been going pretty smoothly. Then 2 weeks ago FMIL calls my cousin and tells her that those on the list for the rehersal dinner cannot bring a date if they are single. That is more than half of the list and includes all of the wedding party(8 bridesmaids, 8 groomsman)! Her reason, it costs too much. My cousin and her mom both tell her if money is the issue then do something different where dates can be included. Like a BBQ or a favorite resturant. She flat out says "No, I want it at the country club. Therefore, no dates." Keep in mind that FMIL has had the list for months now and when she recieved it, she agreed that those who were single could bring a date. That totalled at 61 pp including dates, very large wedding. Long and short, cousin and FI get upset, MOB and FMIL have a huge fight(I.e. screaming, cussing each other) over the phone.

Fast forward to last Tues., by now the invites for the RD have been sent out and those invited are starting to RSVP. Cousin and MOB notice the # on the invite to RSVP is a cell # but think nothing of it. About 3 pm cousin gets a call from one of her BMs. Bridesmaid tells her that she just called FMIL and RSVPd telling FMIL that she would be bringing a date and gives the name. FMIL tells her that she is not allowed a date and date isn't invited. Cousin is livid and calls FMIL directly.


I think my cousin and her FI handled things as best they could in that situation. If it had been me the second time she pulled that i would have said screw it and had my own RD, free of FMIL drama. Knowing how cousin's FMIL is, i kind of saw this coming.
So, comments and advice are welcome. Would you have done the same as cousin or would you have done something different?
P.S. FMIL is still mad that FFIL overruled her on the dates thing. She was invited to my cousin's bridal party lunchon and boycotted it. I feel for cousin and what she will have to put up with in the future.
