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How/when did you tell people that you were pregnant?

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peonygirl

peonygirl

Brilliant_Rock
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Aug 7, 2005
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I''m not sure if this fits on one of the pregnancy threads, but I am also interested in hearing from some of you who are moms but aren''t on those threads. I''m not pregnant yet, but I''m planning to start trying in 3 months and I''d like the think of a plan for telling my friends, family, and workplace. I know that I''d want to be one of those people who''d want to grieve privately if I had a miscarriage, so should I wait to tell everyone until I''m 12 weeks? Or in your experience is it very hard to keep the info quiet for that long because you''re bursting to tell everyone? Also, ideas for how to tell people (although "I''m pregnant" definitely works!) would be great. Thanks so much!
 
I told my parents very early - 7 weeks or so. My mom is my biggest support, and I know if I had a miscarriage, I would need to talk to her.

I didn''t tell anyone else until 14 weeks, when we were pretty certain it had stuck.
 
I think I told my family as soon as I tested positive and then waited until 12 weeks to tell our friends/co-workers.
 
I''m not a mom....but...

When my aunt was pregnant with her first child (the first grandchild), Christmas was right around the corner. So she wrapped up a bag of diapers for my Grandmother and told her that way. I heard it was really cute!
 
My rule is to only tell people before 12 weeks who''s support you would/want need in the event that something should happen. Otherwise, we''re waiting till 12 weeks to tell others.
 
I had 3 pregnancy losses, and I could not agree more about telling only those closest to you early on, and waiting around 12 weeks before telling others. We didn''t even tell family the first or the second time I was pregnant but called them pretty immediately with the bad news.. I really needed their support and I wish they had been praying for the babies beforehand...

BTW, we have a beautiful son now!
 
wow, we told our parents and siblings really early...the night we got our BFP (I was about 4 weeks along). We took a photo of the positive HPT (digital and line) and e-mailed it to them. We then called them to check their e-mail so we could hear their reaction. We told everyone else around 7 weeks after my first u/s. Once we heard the heart beat I felt like it was "safe."
 
I only told close family and my best friend when I found out, when I was 6 weeks along. I didn''t tell other friends and family until we were 12 weeks in. I planned not to say anything at work until I started showing, which was when I was 5 months along (I never got that big) so people were really surprised to find out that I would be leaving in only 4 months! ;)
 
Thanks for all the responses thus far! Unfortunately I don''t think my mom would be react well at all if I had a m/c (she''s very critical of me for things that aren''t my fault), so I''d rather not tell her until 12 weeks. However, my in-laws and my dad would be much more supportive, but I can''t exactly tell them before I tell my mom. Hmmm. I hope my family won''t be upset if I wait until then to tell all of them.
 
My daughter and SIL chose Father''s Day to make their announcement. Once my husband opened his gift I was handed a small bag and told I get a present too. There was a pacifier inside with a note that said "you might need this when you come hlep mommy take care of me in (due month)" and it was signed by baby (last name). They gave her FIL a card with a coupon redeemable for one baby in the month the baby was due. I thought they were both cute so I wanted to share these ideas.
 
With both pregnancies, we told only parents right after the first appointment (8-10 weeks) when the pregnancies were confirmed and deemed viable. Everyone else was told after the first trimester--13 weeks or so...
 
Ooooh, I love the idea of a coupon redeemable for one baby. That''s hilarious! :)
 
Peony, looks like I''ll be seeing you in 3 months on the TTC thread!

Have you signed up to Fertility Friend? I thought I''d start early so I''m up to date on everything before we start trying...

I am the WORST person in the world - bar my father - for keeping secrets. I can do it, but it''s a form of severe torture.

I reckon I could manage about a day before I tell my parents. Maybe it would be better if I don''t know either till 12 weeks!
 
We told our parents, siblings, family, and close friends early - around 5-8 weeks. I waited until after the first trimester - 13 weeks - to tell my boss and co-workers.
 
Pandora! Oh yes, I signed up for FF and took the class and the test at the end. :) I just went off the pill a few days ago, and I''m starting to track everything now. :)
 
Date: 6/3/2008 11:27:54 AM
Author: ahappygirl
I had 3 pregnancy losses, and I could not agree more about telling only those closest to you early on, and waiting around 12 weeks before telling others. We didn't even tell family the first or the second time I was pregnant but called them pretty immediately with the bad news.. I really needed their support and I wish they had been praying for the babies beforehand...

BTW, we have a beautiful son now!
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ahappygirl, I am sorry for your 3 losses, but glad that you now have a beautiful son. I lost 2, and the first one all went so quick, I barely had time to tell my DH once I was sure, we enjoyed the news just the 2 of us for a few days, and then when I wound up in the ER for the miscarriage, my family found out. Weird way to find out. Second pregnancy, we did tell my parents pretty early on, and started slowly telling close family after seeing the heartbeat on the US. As we neared 12 weeks, started telling a few close friends, but then lost that one too. So I agree w/ AHG above, "about telling only those closest to you early on, and waiting around 12 weeks before telling others."
 
OFG - thanks! It was hard and I wouldn''t wish infertility on anyone. Hideous. Search my other thread and you will see that was just the tip of the iceburg. But we are profoundly grateful for the one we have - he is the BEST (no bias here
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)!! I hope things turned out well for you, too!

Sorry for the threadjack!!
 
By best friend was with me when I found out. We were planning on a trip and about to put money down, when she asked when my cycle was. I couldn''t remember so I took the test with no hope (we had been trying to conceive for almost 6 yrs). Lo and behold, the test was positive. I didn''t believe it and peed on another stick. Still positive. I told my DH when he got home from work. My friend used markers and wrote Baby with an arrow on my stomach (DH works 2nd shift and got home after I was sleeping). I was approximately 6 weeks when I found out.

We told our parents immediately. Just came right out and said it.

I had to tell my boss the following day because I was high risk and had to have blood tests everyday for a while. Obviously, I had to tell him why I had to miss work for 30 minutes in addition to my lunch break.

The rest of the family found out through the grapevine.

BUT, this was the only pregnancy I told anyone about. I''ve lost several and after the first (where I had intended to wait til 12 weeks), I never had a good feeling about being pregnant. With my son, I knew the pregnancy was going to be okay.
 
We told our parents immediately. I shared the news with my BFF as well.
 
We told our moms and my father in law immediately. Typical of my bitch mother in law, her first response was a huffy "BUT I AM NOT READY TO BE A GRANDMOTHER". Uh, okay, please let me know when you ARE, as this is clearly all about YOU. Oy. Also told a couple of friends. In hindsight might have waited, but all was okay so it did not really matter.
 
I''m not a mom-but I have had lots of experience with friends telling us early(which I often get confused about because I think you should wait until 12 weeks just in case)...Like the other posters I would only tell your parents and close family very early on...You may want to tell one person at work whom you can trust-just in case something DOES happen-they will know and can help you out if you need to leave work or something-this actually just happened to a co-worker of mine-she did have a miscarriage and I was able to help her out with some things because she had told me...but ONLY tell them if you feel you can ABSOLUTELY trust them-otherwise I wouldn''t worry about it!
 
Baby 1 - early...5 wks.

Baby 2 - About 10ish wks. I had a bit of spotting the month before so I didn''t think I was preggers. We really weren''t trying since our son was just over a year. So we were surprised when I was about 8 wks. It was nice. Pregnancy seemed shorter.

Baby 3 - I told my sister and my best friend. Other than that we waited until 10 wks. and only after we heard the heartbeat with the doppler. Our 2 kids were 6 and 8. If something went wrong we didn''t want to burden them with it. We wanted them to be the first (aside from my sis and my bf) to hear the news.
 
I''ve often thought about this too, peonygirl. I think I would like to wait to tell friends and co-workers until the 12 week point or thereabouts, but in my line of work (operating theatre) I do a lot of cases that pregnant women cannot be exposed to (X-ray, cementing joint replacements, etc) so I wouldn''t be able to hide it from my bosses because I''d have to be reallocated to different jobs! Plus, I can''t get my head around revealing to people that I''ve miscarried when they didn''t know I was pregnant... I dunno. Generally when a female nurse tells other staff that she cannot be in an X-ray theatre it''s a dead giveaway
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I probably wouldnt tell anyone besides my parents and best friend until I completed my first trimester at the very least. I am a labor and delivery nurse, so lets just say, ignorance is bliss.
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I waited until 12 weeks to tell even my parents but I had a miscarriage three days prior to our announcement. A few months later when I told my mom about it she was thankful I told her the way I did for that exact reason. It would have been too emotional for her to get her hopes up...
 
8wks: I told my mom and sister only.

13wks (and after NT scan): told rest of family and one or 2 close friends

20wks (after ultrasound): told work and all remaniing friends. At this point a few people had guessed at work though!
 
Around 7 wks (after my first prenatal appt) - told our parents, one of DH''s sisters and one of his cousins. My parents told my two sisters.

Around 8 or 9 wks - My MIL told relatives at our Christmas party. (I wanted to wait til 14 wks to tell anyone else.)

Around 12 wks - told my good friend (Because I don''t get to see very often, so I wanted to tell her before I started showing.)

Around 14 wks - told my boss and co-workers, and start to tell all our friends. (By then, I was starting to show.)
 
6 weeks (right when we found out): told my sister, mom, SIL and BIL

12 weeks: told dad, MIL, FIL, brother, other family at a BBQ we held where I had gifts for my mom and MIL for Mother''s Day. Both gifts had something to do with grandma-one was a bib that said "I love my grandma" the other was a onsie that had something cute. I also had ultrasound pics in the bag. My mom already knew, but my MIL loved it and it was a cute way to tell everyone else.

13 weeks: told friends

17 weeks: told everyone at work

My SIL told our in-laws she was preggo at 7 weeks and my MIL blabbed to everyone (like I knew she would and why I didn''t tell them until we were at the end of first tri). When SIL miscarried she was furious with MIL. The next time she got pregnant they waited until 11 weeks. It''s different for everyone, but I''m so glad we did it the way we did and when I''m preggo next time we''ll probably do it the same or similar.

Can''t wait to see you all on the preggo thread!
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5 weeks -- Both sets of parents. We were planning a trip together to the Dominican Republic, and I was concerned about the malaria risk, so we had to tell them! My dad is my pharmacist, and had been providing my birth control up until that point... so I brought an unopened NuvaRing packet back to him and told him I thought it might be defective. Only took him a a second to catch on, but my mom took a bit longer!
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6 weeks -- My BFF, over breakfast at our favorite diner... we normally talk about EVERYTHING, so those 2 weeks before telling her were TORTURE!!

8 weeks (after 1st ultrasound) -- My brothers (DH and I went out to dinner with my parents and 2 brothers, and I said "Isn't it nice all 7 of us could be here together?" They looked around the table in confusion until it eventually dawned on them!) We also told DH's cousins and BFF around then, since DH had a big bday bash and they were staying with us.

9 weeks -- A couple we're close to - we met up with them at a restaurant, and when DH said "We have some news, S is pregnant..." they immediately responded with "We are too!!"
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13 weeks -- Everyone else!
 
Dh and I found out we were pregnant in December of 2006. As soon as we found out we told our siblings and friends - but decided to wait on telling our parents until we got home to California for Christmas vacation. We ended up getting beautiful grandparents frames from Remember Things and put our parents'' pictures in them. We wrapped them up and gave it to them before Christmas. It took a few minutes for them to get it, but once they did they were extremely excited! Our ds is the first grandchild on both sides.

As far as waiting till after 12 weeks - that''s entirely up to you. Whatever you decide I am sure it will be great!
 
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