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HOW to tip?

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newbie124

Brilliant_Rock
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Aug 23, 2007
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584
I know the question of how much to tip and who to tip has come up pretty frequently, but I''m just wondering how to actually go about tipping your wedding day vendors, specifically the caterers (gratuity is NOT included in our contract), musicians and DJ?

From what I''ve heard the standard seems to be to stuff some cash into an envelope...but if you''re supposed to be tipping based on level of service, how would you adjust the amount? I can''t imagine having the envelope carrier (DOC?) coming up to us in the middle of the night asking what percentage we''d like to tip each vendor and add or remove money based on that.

I''ve also heard of people giving the tip to the caterers sometime prior to the reception, but that doesn''t seem to make sense that you''re tipping them BEFORE you''ve had a chance to see how they perform.

Also, did people just give a lump sum and let the vendor divide it out evenly? Or did you designate different amounts for say the waiters vs the event captains?

Anyone have any suggestions?

(p.s. SEVEN days to go!)
 

Hudson_Hawk

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Nov 2, 2006
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10,541
I think it''s usually the best man or the father of the bride who handles the tipping. We plan to tip towards the end of the evening, we''re going to use thank you cards with a short note and the money. The venue tips we''re giving in one lump sum for them to distribute as we don''t know how many people we''ll have serving that night. We''re not doing percentages on service fees for anyone other than the venue. We have more than 6 people dining (it''s a restaurant) so we''re planning on an automatic 20% of the total dinner bill-so about $1000. the DJ is cheap ($500) and the fee is going right to the guys, not to a company, so we''re going to give them $25 apiece, and we''re going to give the officiant the same.
 

Hudson_Hawk

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Date: 4/10/2009 10:42:11 AM
Author:newbie124
I know the question of how much to tip and who to tip has come up pretty frequently, but I''m just wondering how to actually go about tipping your wedding day vendors, specifically the caterers (gratuity is NOT included in our contract), musicians and DJ?


From what I''ve heard the standard seems to be to stuff some cash into an envelope...but if you''re supposed to be tipping based on level of service, how would you adjust the amount? I can''t imagine having the envelope carrier (DOC?) coming up to us in the middle of the night asking what percentage we''d like to tip each vendor and add or remove money based on that.


I''ve also heard of people giving the tip to the caterers sometime prior to the reception, but that doesn''t seem to make sense that you''re tipping them BEFORE you''ve had a chance to see how they perform.


Also, did people just give a lump sum and let the vendor divide it out evenly? Or did you designate different amounts for say the waiters vs the event captains?


Anyone have any suggestions?


(p.s. SEVEN days to go!)
I missed this the first time-SEVEN days?!?!?!?! Wholy cow are you excited???
 

newbie124

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Aug 23, 2007
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584
Date: 4/10/2009 10:59:52 AM
Author: Hudson_Hawk
I think it''s usually the best man or the father of the bride who handles the tipping. We plan to tip towards the end of the evening, we''re going to use thank you cards with a short note and the money. The venue tips we''re giving in one lump sum for them to distribute as we don''t know how many people we''ll have serving that night. We''re not doing percentages on service fees for anyone other than the venue. We have more than 6 people dining (it''s a restaurant) so we''re planning on an automatic 20% of the total dinner bill-so about $1000. the DJ is cheap ($500) and the fee is going right to the guys, not to a company, so we''re going to give them $25 apiece, and we''re going to give the officiant the same.
Hmm...well in our case I don''t think the best man or the FOB are going to be the best people to hand out the tips. So I guess I''ll stick w/ our DOC.

Our catering contract did include a 20% "service charge" which apparently was not actually gratuity, so we were thinking of just giving lump sum amounts to each of the staff members (rather than ANOTHER 20% on top).

I guess the easiest thing to do then, is to just give them one envelope and have them figure it out. :)

Thanks for chiming in!

(And Yes, I can''t believe we''re at the 1 week mark! We actually leave for CA on Tuesday, so it feels like it''s coming up even sooner...!!)
 

Hudson_Hawk

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Wow, good luck!

We''re getting married at a restaurant so the situation is a bit different for us. We don''t have a service charge, just the standard gratuity.

I think your DOC is a logical choice.
 

amcgookin

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jun 3, 2008
Messages
123
Ok so now I am totally confused.... I am getting married at a big hotel so I didn''t think I needed to tip anyone since I am being charged at 21% service fee! Do I need to tip people on top of that? Who and how much? Yikes... my wedding in only a week away now so I am glad someone brought this up!

Also my DJ and Pastor are personal friends so I wasn''t planning on tipping what I am already paying them. They told me they would both do it for free, but I am choosing to pay them a good amount anyway. My coordinators I was not planning on tipping, because I think they are overcharging me anyway for basic rehearsal & day of servies ($1200) so I just flat out don''t want to have to tip. Longer back story there, but they are not a vendor I would ever recommend to anyone again! Let me know if you think I should tip them and how much (there are 3 girls that are going to be there the day of).

I think that is all of my vendors right?

Who else are people tipping?
 

kama_s

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jul 12, 2008
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3,617
I personally wouldnt tip if there is already a service charge added. You cant exactly call it a ''gratuity'' if it''s mandatory - hence it''s called a ''service charge'' but it serves the same purpose.

And Newbie...it''s ALMOST HERE!
 

PilsnPinkysMom

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Oct 11, 2008
Messages
1,878
Call me cheap, but I''m not tipping all that much.... And definitely not based on services. Services are SO expensive, that 20% would put me in the poor house.

Hair stylist- 18-20%
DJ- $50
Shuttle- $50
Venue- Tip already in price
Photogs- $75ish
Flowers- Tip delivery guy about $10-15

I''ve been told time & time again that tipping is NICE but is NOT NECESSARY... Unless you''re really floored with the service.... Most of these vendors set their OWN prices, so if they want to up-the-ante and make more money, they should include that in there. If someone isn''t self employed (ie: florist''s van driver) then a tip is definitely needed... But my DJ, photos, and shuttle are all the owners of their own companie... So... no way am I tipping a lot. I''m already paying a TON out of pocket... and we ALL know wedding prices are inflated.

They''re getting the money in envelopes at the end of the night... I''ll probably hand them out... Ah well

::Hides from miss manners, social appropriateness-types, & wedding vendors everywhere::
 

kama_s

Ideal_Rock
Premium
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Jul 12, 2008
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3,617
I agree. I am doing a very few tips. I almost feel like it''s INSULTING to tip - for instance, my photog is costing me 7000$ (including 300$ EXTRA for a digital copy of our e-pics...yep, we dont even get the pictures in the package fee!!), so giving her even a 100$ tip seems so insulting, and almost derogatory. And no way in h*ll am I going to give her a 10% tip @ 700$!
 

marchswallowbird

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Joined
Apr 22, 2008
Messages
849
It is VERY insulting to tip an officiant. Just pay them their fee and invite them to the reception.
 

Hudson_Hawk

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Date: 4/10/2009 7:40:56 PM
Author: marchswallowbird
It is VERY insulting to tip an officiant. Just pay them their fee and invite them to the reception.
I''ve never heard this before. Thanks for sharing.
 
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