how to tactfully break the bad news

[Lord Summerisle]

just had an email from a chap on another forum... I''m gathering he''s bought the diamond in Dubia -


"As I know you''re the ''diamond man'' I''d thought I''d let you know what I''ve just paid for one today for reference.

This is through a good known jeweller to me and he normally gives me a pretty good deal.

HRD Certified.

Shape - Brilliant
Weight - 1.16 ct
Clarity Grad - VS2
Flourescence - nil
Colour - G
Measurements - 6.56-660mm x 4.28 mm
Proportions - good
Girdle - meadium 4.5% faceted
Cutlet - pointed
table width - 59%
cr height - 15.5%
pav depth - 44.5%
finish grade - good

Including the setting (a simple classic Tifffany in 18ct white gold) I paid AED 25,500

That is GBP 3,425.00 at todays exchange rates (7.4)

Thought you''d like to know "

and he''s going on Wednesday to watch the jeweller set the diamond...

"Yes sealed in a little box - On Wednesday, I will go to the craftsman, he
will then open the box and insert it into the setting in front of me so I
know it is the same stone I chose and paid for. Match the serial numbers
etc... I have the copy of the certificate (from which I gave you the
details)."

now from my calculations - the depth is something like 65%, and using the HCA its coming out at 5.2 Good - Only if price is your main criterion.

Not sure how to reply - he could pay alot less for a 1.12-1.14ct stone of the same visual size... but he''s already paid for it.... darn!

Or am i going off half cocked... and it aint as bad as i think.

 

[Paul-Antwerp]

oh my lord, my sweet lord, ...

I do not know how to tell this to your friend. Maybe, we can give our thoughts on the stone here, and you can direct him to read this thread.

About buying diamonds in Dubai: while you think, as a consumer, that you are getting a great deal, this is generally not the case, since ''great deals'' are basically impossible in this very competitive business.

Dubai has absolutely no culture in diamond-cut, and colour and clarity are the main drivers of sales there. Because of that, the seller there is truly convinced that he is giving you a great deal, while the cut of this particular diamond stinks (excusez le mot).

There is also a culture in Dubai, in which having the stone sealed (not loose) is very important. Some local dealer once pulled a scam with loose stones, and since that day, having sealed stones is very important. Now, that particular act of sealing (in this case done in Antwerp by HRD) also prevents the local dealer from inspecting colour, and to some extent also clarity and cut. In the long run, this practice (culture again) prevents the development of any cut-knowledge.

On the other hand, it offers good opportunities for diamond cutters. Whenever a diamond gets a lucky grade, or when the cut is so-so, it is best to seal the stone, and try to sell it in a country with a diamond-culture like Dubai.

In my humble opinion, your friend should try anything to get out of this deal. I hope that it works.

Live long,

 

[bee*]

ugh I''m no good at telling people bad news. Maybe try and show him one that you would suggest buying that would be a bit better value and show him that he can do better. Or say that a "friend" is after buying one for X price and show him a link of one that you would suggest buying. Hopefully he can bring it back and get something else. Best of luck!!

 

[Pandora II]

Oh dear.

I''m normally brutally honest if asked for my opinion in that way.

Is there any way your friend can return the stone?

 

[LegacyGirl]

Ouch... I hope he can return it

 

[Kaleigh]

That''s a tough position to be in. But he did ask for your thoughts. Any way you can contact him and say it''s best not to go through with this? That you can help him find a better stone. It isn''t set yet, so any way he can back out? I feel for you, I really do.

 

[strmrdr]

I''d say...
you idiot why didnt you ask me about this 2 weeks ago, go and get your money back and we will do it right!

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 3/15/2008 9:41:35 PM
Author: strmrdr
I''d say...

you idiot why didnt you ask me about this 2 weeks ago, go and get your money back and we will do it right!

I''d say something similar, except I''d use "bonehead" instead of "idiot."

 

[Lorelei]

Date: 3/15/2008 8:46:17 PM
Author: Kaleigh
That's a tough position to be in. But he did ask for your thoughts. Any way you can contact him and say it's best not to go through with this? That you can help him find a better stone. It isn't set yet, so any way he can back out? I feel for you, I really do.

Ditto.

 

[arjunajane]

Geez, Lord S, this is a tough one - not to mention he sounds pretty chuffed with his purchase!

Seeing as they have asked your advice, I think you should definately tell them to try and cancel the transaction asap, and then offer your help finding a better one. he seems to trust your advice so hopefully won''t get offended.?
Perhaps you can see if they want other PS''ers help to find a good one?
I hope they can sort it out and the vendor doesn''t try to keep their money. Bummer he didn''t think to ask BEFORE the purchase (slaps hand to forehead)

 

[WinkHPD]

Date: 3/15/2008 5:43:47 PM
Author:Lord Summerisle
just had an email from a chap on another forum... I''m gathering he''s bought the diamond in Dubia -




''As I know you''re the ''diamond man'' I''d thought I''d let you know what I''ve just paid for one today for reference.



This is through a good known jeweller to me and he normally gives me a pretty good deal.



HRD Certified.



Shape - Brilliant

Weight - 1.16 ct

Clarity Grad - VS2

Flourescence - nil

Colour - G

Measurements - 6.56-660mm x 4.28 mm

Proportions - good

Girdle - meadium 4.5% faceted

Cutlet - pointed

table width - 59%

cr height - 15.5%

pav depth - 44.5%

finish grade - good



Including the setting (a simple classic Tifffany in 18ct white gold) I paid AED 25,500



That is GBP 3,425.00 at todays exchange rates (7.4)



Thought you''d like to know ''


and he''s going on Wednesday to watch the jeweller set the diamond...


''Yes sealed in a little box - On Wednesday, I will go to the craftsman, he

will then open the box and insert it into the setting in front of me so I

know it is the same stone I chose and paid for. Match the serial numbers

etc... I have the copy of the certificate (from which I gave you the

details).''


now from my calculations - the depth is something like 65%, and using the HCA its coming out at 5.2 Good - Only if price is your main criterion.


Not sure how to reply - he could pay alot less for a 1.12-1.14ct stone of the same visual size... but he''s already paid for it.... darn!


Or am i going off half cocked... and it aint as bad as i think.

NO, it is not as bad as you think, it is worse. I only say that because if you thought it was as bad as I do you would not ask that question. Sigh.

As I am coming late to the conversation, I am going to guess, strongly, that when I read a few of the posts I will find that you will have received already many versions of my thoughts that your friend really needed to talk to you BEFORE he wasted his money.

Sad.

I know it will be difficult to tell him what you really think, but you have already figured out that this is NOT a very pretty diamond.

wink

 

[Lord Summerisle]

Thanks all.

unfortunatly - its a done deal, and no money back. And the first he''ll see the diamond is when the jeweller takes it out of the sealed box to set it. Part of the problem is he''s working out there, so not quite dealing in the same market place.

ah well, you live n learn, Shown him relative stones, in dia (a 1.02ct from James Allen) and weight (1.16 from whiteflash''s virtual listing)
Used the ''search all'' for simplicity + there where no 1.16ct G VS2 on the ''by cut''

But like i said, he''s now stuck with his choice, but he''d rather have this stone and be able to say its 1.16ct, than by the cheaper 1.02ct - even tho its the same visual size (and the 1.02ct i''d expect would look larger with the better light return)

Least he knows who to ask in the future

 

[WinkHPD]

That''s too bad. Refer him to Pricescope so he can learn more before his next purchase. I bet he will be in a better mood to ask first then buy after you talk with him.

Wink

 

[Rhea]

This is sad. If he''s anything like a large percentage of people, once the engagement ring stone is bought they may never make a large purchase again so any information on cut comes too late in the game.

Honestly, at this point I''d probably just email him that the colour and clarity look nice but that maybe next time he could let you know before he buys the stone as you might have been able to better help him. Referring him to PS isn''t going to do much good unless he plans to buy another stone. Sometimes it''s good to be naive, especially if the stone is not returnable.

I think him asking you this late in the game meant that he just wanted a pat on the back for doing a good job. He wouldn''t have bought a non-returnable stone and THEN asked if you if he actually thought you''d tell him he did a crap job.

 

[arjunajane]

Date: 3/16/2008 4:43:33 PM
Author: Addy
This is sad. If he''s anything like a large percentage of people, once the engagement ring stone is bought they may never make a large purchase again so any information on cut comes too late in the game.

Honestly, at this point I''d probably just email him that the colour and clarity look nice but that maybe next time he could let you know before he buys the stone as you might have been able to better help him. Referring him to PS isn''t going to do much good unless he plans to buy another stone. Sometimes it''s good to be naive, especially if the stone is not returnable.

I think him asking you this late in the game meant that he just wanted a pat on the back for doing a good job. He wouldn''t have bought a non-returnable stone and THEN asked if you if he actually thought you''d tell him he did a crap job.

ditto addy, I read from it that he seemed to think he''d done well and wanted confirmation of this. Bummer hey.
like wink, live and let learn!