How to salvage this ring?

[moobaby]

I''m posting this for my brother in law. Long story short he wasn''t very smart and paid too much money for this bridal set from Zales. The engagement ended up falling through, and now he is with the new love of his life and he wants to propose but doesn''t want to use the same bridal set. He can''t afford to use the trade in option because he spent $4k originally. I suggested to him about maybe figuring our some way to reset the diamonds. The center stone is a half carat I believe, so I recommended a halo to help "beef" it up, but I''m at a loss about the sidestones. Use them in the new ring, or maybe make a completely new wedding band incorporating the sidestones? I''d welcome all suggestions, he''d like to keep the reset cost to less then $1500 if possible.

 

[D&T]

if the sides stones on the ering and the side stones on the wedding band are the same size, maybe do a new ring with the diamonds eternity style if her ring size will make it be or 3/4. or reuse the sidestones from both ring to do a scattered wedding band? then find a halo setting for the center like you suggested? just a thought though. Another Idea is use the side stones to set up a new ring in a kite shape form like pcitured?

 

[glitterata]

If I were his new girlfriend, I would want him to start again from scratch.

I would HATE the idea of being given a ring that contained stones from the one he intended for another woman. I would much rather have a smaller diamond or a colored stone bought with me in mind. Or no ring at all. Also, does his new girlfriend like princess diamonds? I really, really dislike them.

If my boyfriend offered me a ring set with a princess diamond originally intended for someone else, I would give it right back and go without a ring.

 

[Kaleigh]

Date: 8/10/2009 3:59:15 PM
Author: glitterata
If I were his new girlfriend, I would want him to start again from scratch.

I would HATE the idea of being given a ring that contained stones from the one he intended for another woman. I would much rather have a smaller diamond or a colored stone bought with me in mind. Or no ring at all. Also, does his new girlfriend like princess diamonds? I really, really dislike them.

If my boyfriend offered me a ring set with a princess diamond originally intended for someone else, I would give it right back and go without a ring.

Big ditto.

 

[swingirl]

Date: 8/10/2009 3:59:15 PM
Author: glitterata
If I were his new girlfriend, I would want him to start again from scratch.

I would HATE the idea of being given a ring that contained stones from the one he intended for another woman. I would much rather have a smaller diamond or a colored stone bought with me in mind. Or no ring at all. Also, does his new girlfriend like princess diamonds? I really, really dislike them.

If my boyfriend offered me a ring set with a princess diamond originally intended for someone else, I would give it right back and go without a ring.

My dad did this and my mom would mention it every time they got into an argument! She found out from relatives that he was engaged before he met her and reused the stone in my mom's engagement ring. Bad idea.

 

[neatfreak]

Date: 8/10/2009 4:00:42 PM
Author: Kaleigh

Date: 8/10/2009 3:59:15 PM

Author: glitterata

If I were his new girlfriend, I would want him to start again from scratch.


I would HATE the idea of being given a ring that contained stones from the one he intended for another woman. I would much rather have a smaller diamond or a colored stone bought with me in mind. Or no ring at all. Also, does his new girlfriend like princess diamonds? I really, really dislike them.


If my boyfriend offered me a ring set with a princess diamond originally intended for someone else, I would give it right back and go without a ring.

Big ditto.

Add me to that list. Please don''t let him propose with this stone. Sell this ring and use the proceeds towards a new one.

 

[needbling]

Add me to the list of girls that would have a big problem with this. I''d rather have no ring at all then one that my boyfriend originally bought for someone else. No thank you!!

 

[Richard Sherwood]

Sounds like you need a man''s point-of-view.

Sell or trade-in the ring!

It''s a no-win situation otherwise.

 

[moobaby]

lol I tried to convince him to just get a completely new ring but he's pretty broke. In fact he's STILL making payments on that bridal set... (yes I know he's a moron.)

 

[Richard Sherwood]

Maybe if he explained the situation to a local jeweler, the jeweler would swap him for another ring. He might take a bit of a beating on the deal, but he''d come out with a ring having no negative vibes attached to it.

 

[neatfreak]

Date: 8/10/2009 4:26:58 PM
Author: moobaby
lol I tried to convince him to just get a completely new ring but he''s pretty broke. In fact he''s STILL making payments on that bridal set... (yes I know he''s a moron.)

Well then he needs to tell this to his new bride. I still think she''d rather a plain band now with the promise for a diamond later than someone else''s diamond/ring...

 

[NeverEndingUpgrade]

Maybe look into idonowidont.com, diamondbistro.com or ebay to sell the set. And definitely don't try to re-gift a wedding set, for Pete's sake.

For $1500, he could get a simple solitaire setting in white gold and a diamond like this one from James Allen: 0.53 ct. G/SI1 H&A

Or this one costing $1476 with the $260 setting: .57 ct. G/SI1

 

[oneandahalfrock]

It''s weird- I wouldn''t want to take a ring that my SO asked someone else to marry him with, but wouldn''t have an issue getting a second hand ring where I didn''t know the history at all.
Odd.

 

[onvacation]

Date: 8/10/2009 3:44:25 PM
Author:moobaby
I''m posting this for my brother in law. Long story short he wasn''t very smart and paid too much money for this bridal set from Zales. The engagement ended up falling through, and now he is with the new love of his life and he wants to propose but doesn''t want to use the same bridal set. He can''t afford to use the trade in option because he spent $4k originally. I suggested to him about maybe figuring our some way to reset the diamonds. The center stone is a half carat I believe, so I recommended a halo to help ''beef'' it up, but I''m at a loss about the sidestones. Use them in the new ring, or maybe make a completely new wedding band incorporating the sidestones? I''d welcome all suggestions, he''d like to keep the reset cost to less then $1500 if possible.

If he''s thinking of spending $1500 on the reset alone, then why can''t he sell the whole set and start from scratch? I''m sure he could list it on ebay, CL, etc., and with that he could get something much nicer and new. I don''t particularly care if jewelry is vintage, but I''ll agree that the one big no-no is a ring bought with an ex in mind!

If he doesn''t get how serious an issue that can be for many women, please tell him that there are people (ahem) who get pi**ed everytime they see Elsa Peretti''s heart pendant because it was something their guy got for one of his friends 10 years ago. And she wasn''t even a girlfriend or anything, just a friend. What kinda guy gets a heart necklace for a friend''s b-day?!

I was going to suggest making it into a bangle until I re-read your original post. As much as I''d welcome extra bling, I don''t think I''d be able to look down at my wrist without tearing it off in 3 second. If I got a remade wedding set, I''d probably make the trip to Mt. Doom to get rid of it.

Sorry if I come across as too harsh. I''m sure there could be people who would be fine with that idea. Clearly I''m not one of them!

So going back to your original question, I''d go for solitaire + bangle (for you?! hehe).

 

[onvacation]

Date: 8/10/2009 4:43:46 PM
Author: oneandahalfrock
It''s weird- I wouldn''t want to take a ring that my SO asked someone else to marry him with, but wouldn''t have an issue getting a second hand ring where I didn''t know the history at all.
Odd.

Ditto. DH does mind secondhand pieces though, and doesn''t like me to wear them. I guess he''s a little more consistent in that area, whereas I''m more easily blinded by the bling.

 

[Lula]

Yup, I'm with the other ladies (and Richard Sherwood, too!). Put the Zales ring on Craigslist and be happy to get $500 for it. Use the Craigslist cash to help pay off the Zales bill, and put the $1500 he would have used making a silk purse out of a Zales' cow's ear into a new ring from a PS vendor.

 

[junebug17]

Date: 8/10/2009 4:43:46 PM
Author: oneandahalfrock
It''s weird- I wouldn''t want to take a ring that my SO asked someone else to marry him with, but wouldn''t have an issue getting a second hand ring where I didn''t know the history at all.
Odd.

I feel the same way!

 

[glitterata]

Date: 8/10/2009 4:48:21 PM
Author: onvacation If I got a remade wedding set, I''d probably make the trip to Mt. Doom to get rid of it.

ROTFL!

 

[Kaleigh]

Date: 8/10/2009 5:00:23 PM
Author: junebug17

Date: 8/10/2009 4:43:46 PM
Author: oneandahalfrock
It's weird- I wouldn't want to take a ring that my SO asked someone else to marry him with, but wouldn't have an issue getting a second hand ring where I didn't know the history at all.
Odd.

I feel the same way!

See to me that is different. I would by a second hand ring in a nano second. It's got nothing to do with me, or DH... But the one he has now, and is trying to give to the new wfie?? Thats like giving the new wife the wedding dress his ex wife wore, but just had it altered for a perfect fit....

Ok maybe that's going a tad far, but that's how this feels to me,....

 

[moobaby]

lol thanks for the great responses. I think I''ll forward this thread to him.

I''m with the side that wouldn''t mind a second hand ring, but probably would rake out my DH''s eyes with my claws if he gave me a ring intended for an ex lol.

I''ve been pricing out some ACA''s and Expert Selections on Whiteflash with the Guinevere setting for him but dunno if he can dig that deep into his pockets.

 

[onvacation]

Date: 8/10/2009 5:05:01 PM
Author: Kaleigh

Date: 8/10/2009 5:00:23 PM
Author: junebug17

Date: 8/10/2009 4:43:46 PM
Author: oneandahalfrock
It''s weird- I wouldn''t want to take a ring that my SO asked someone else to marry him with, but wouldn''t have an issue getting a second hand ring where I didn''t know the history at all.
Odd.

I feel the same way!

See to me that is different. I would by a second hand ring in a nano second. It''s got nothing to do with me, or DH... But the one he has now, and is trying to give to the new wfie?? Thats like giving the new wife the wedding dress his ex wife wore, but just had it altered for a perfect fit....

Ok maybe that''s going a tad far, but that''s how this feels to me,....

What about houses? Cars?

I have an aquantance who bought her ex''s car when they were still dating, then got married to someone else. They now share that car. I think that''s very strange. I would not want to do that. But then I think the same situation would be alright if it were my own car to begin with...

And I didn''t mind using towels that DH''s ex gifted him with, or a picture frame. DH thought it was rude though, so he got rid of them.

Now that I think about it, I guess for me it has to do with whether it was the ex''s, or mine/DH''s. The wedding set on hand, would be the ex''s, thus

for me.

 

[Moh 10]

You must not only dispose the the ring and the diamonds.
You must burn the money you get for it while kneeling down on hot coals in front of your new girlfriend while she digs the heals of her stilettos into your eye sockets.

How DARE you have a woman before her!

 

[onvacation]

Date: 8/10/2009 5:19:15 PM
Author: Moh 10
You must not only dispose the the ring and the diamonds you must burn the money you get for it while kneeling down on hot coals in front of your new girlfriend while she digs the heals of her stilettos into your eye sockets.

How dare you have a woman before her!

Such sage advice. Must be coming from experience!

 

[glitterata]

I don't mind that he had girlfriends before me. I'm even friends with several of them. They did a great job civilizing him, and they're delightful women. We've stayed in each other's houses and hang out together.

But I would not want to wear their wedding rings. That's very different.

 

[TripleG]

I agree with the others. Dont re-set it, bad bad Karma I think.

Why not have him take the 1500$ and put it in to a diamond that is great quality. Then hand it to her and say they''ll pick out a setting together and price it out later. A solitaire setting may only be 300$

 

[Lula]

Date: 8/10/2009 5:22:14 PM
Author: onvacation

Date: 8/10/2009 5:19:15 PM

Author: Moh 10

You must not only dispose the the ring and the diamonds you must burn the money you get for it while kneeling down on hot coals in front of your new girlfriend while she digs the heals of her stilettos into your eye sockets.

How dare you have a woman before her!

Such sage advice. Must be coming from experience!

Good one, onvacation! This caused one iced chai latte to go up my nose!!

 

[The Ice Man]

Here''s my opinion, sell it or trade it in. Put it on eBay if you have paper work for it and give it a shot!

 

[LaurenThePartier]

Date: 8/10/2009 5:19:15 PM
Author: Moh 10
You must not only dispose the the ring and the diamonds.
You must burn the money you get for it while kneeling down on hot coals in front of your new girlfriend while she digs the heals of her stilettos into your eye sockets.

How DARE you have a woman before her!

I suppose you would be fine with a regiffted wedding band from your new wife''s former husband?

Honestly, diamonds are just "things". They don''t have feelings and they don''t hurt people''s feelings on their own. But, the regifting of rings with significant past meaning to the giver just seems a little like digging the knife in, don''t you think? Especially when everyone here was suggesting that they''d rather have a plain band than a recycled ring.

I wouldn''t mind that recycled ring for my right hand, because, after all, diamonds are just "things", unless we''re talking about the ring tied to the most important question most women ever hear.

 

[dmaillet]

I totally agree with the others on this post. I would be highly insulted if I was given a second hand ring. I rather have NOTHING than to have a ring that was originally meant for someone else. The ring can be donated to a non profit organization for the tax deduction. Or as others have said, sell it and get what you can for it and put an end to all ties connected to this ring.

 

[D2B]

Another big fat no for that ring -

If I loved my BF I would happily wear a cheap little band, or low cost coloured stone, or small diamond, anything really to signify our engagement, and later when we both have more money get a special ring (if it is important) as an anniversary present and upgrade the e-rin.

I would not think my BF thought much of my feelings to give me his ex wedding set. Oh, and generally I am a big believer in re-use and recycle - just not in this scenario.

db