Home How to make it on one small income?

[plantationcatt]

Okay, NOT LOOKING TO MAKE THIS A WORKING MOM/SAHM/SAHD/ETC/ THREAD. I think those points on both sides have been made

.

What I do want to know is: for those of you where only one spouse works (or both spouses work but it''s a "small income" compared to the area in which you live, how do you make it work? On his income, we''d be $21,000 under the area median income.

We''re certainly not luxurious in our spending, but do eat well and tithe to our church and other charities. With our combined incomes now, we''re certainly comfortable in saving for retirement, eating, and saving for coming children. However, I really want to stay home at least part time when we have kids and can''t see how we''re going to make this work. In my profession, there are NO part time jobs and I work for the local government, who is completely inflexible. I make more than my husband, who works for a church and LOVES his job. There is absolutely no way we can drop to his salary and stay in our house that''s perfect for a growing family (that we hope to have soon). I''ve been looking at houses in the price range we could afford...and I don''t kid when I say there are very few options. Less than 34 things come up on the MLS search, and most of them I would have to sleep with a gun in my hand for safety. Not kidding.

This is rambling. I just need some advice.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

We live on one income. . .

A few things we''ve done: have older cars that are paid off rather than drive newer cars with monthly payments. Also, I ALWAYS stock up foods whenever they''re on sale. My kids adore Kashi and Cascade Farms cereal (both natural) and a month back, the boxes at the store all had coupons on them AND the cereal was on sale, so I bought as many boxes as I could over the course of a week. We eat a lot of brown rice, which is inexpensive and filling and that helps a lot.

Definetly do coupons and wait until an item is on sale. Basic stuff like toothpaste can be purchased for 1/3 the regular price if you stock up and use a coupon!

One thing you can do is watch a neighbor''s or friend''s child when you''re at home. I did this for a few months last year and it worked wonderfully. The kids were the same ages and got along well. Some of my friends do this. It''s best to do it a few times a week so you still have alone time with your child(ren).

 

[RaiKai]

Hey!

Well, until this past Monday, my DH and I have been living off my income only (under the household median) for a little greater than a year. We do not have kids though!

I am still new into this profession (career change) and so my income is still rather low. DH took an early retirement from the military, with the intention of going back to school, so that was a loss of 75K/year. That meant some rather drastic changes to our spending habits and lifestyle.

Anyway, around this time we moved provinces as well. Taxes are lower here, but cost of living overall is higher than where I was before.

All I can say is...it requires a lot of tight budgeting. There are definitely a lot of things we have gone "without" such as travel and we certainly were on a small budget for our wedding. It meant we opted out of lots of extras. We definitely had a lot more "at home" dates. Got library cards. Bought food and such on sale. Bought at Costco as while it was more upfront it saved money over long run (i.e. chicken is a lot cheaper).

It was stressful at times as despite having his retirement savings we cannot touch it for another thirty years and we both have debts (I have a lot of student loan debt) which carry monthly payments of course. So we had no real savings to go into. It was stressful for me knowing that there just was not a lot of room and if an emergency popped up.....it meant further debt. There were a few times I really felt stressed about it. There just was NO extra and at the time we had no idea how long it may be that way (i.e. 1 year, 2 years, 3 years, more?)! However, DH and I both kept an open dialogue about it, continuously revisiting our finances and budget, and I really supported his return to school and he also fully understood it was stressful and often expressed he felt the pressure too (though he was also quite sure that things would work out in time so no worries!). I also will say....I quite enjoyed having him at home....he loves to clean and such so the apartment was always nice and clean!

DH went back to school for another semester but while he excelled he decided that particular program (and career path) was not for him, so just started working on Monday for a "for now fun job" as he decides whether to go into another program or find a different career path or just stay there. And while it does not pay a whole lot...and he is way overqualified for it....the extra money takes a LOT of the strain off. Even so, when if and when we have children, DH will likely stay home with them and I will keep working (my preference, and my income will likely be higher, and he can get paternity leave where I can't, etc).

I guess I say all that saying...you may want to consider part time work even if it is NOT your current career path if it will just ease that strain slightly. Whether it is watching some kids after school or working at a local bookstore. I'd rather work a few hours during the week at a fun job with little responsibility than feel financially pressured and strained. You may still have to move to a smaller home or more affordable home, but then at least you are not finding yourself spending most of your household income on just "living" without much for variable expenses.

 

[charbie]

You said there are no part-time jobs in YOUR profession, but what about in a different field you may be qualified for? I know it isn''t easy to always find meaningful part-time work, but it seems like you could at least get closer to closing that gap. And at the same time you might find something else you enjoy that could parlay into fulltime down the road.
My husband and I are about to lose about half my income for the next 6 months, which is going to make a significant impact on us. I have started my "savings" habits now, by seeking out coupons, only buying necessary items, putting my gym membership on hold and working out at home...every penny counts.
I think most people "spend what they make." You adjust your life for the money you make. I mean, if I had to do my shopping at garage sales and thrift stores...so be it.

 

[iheartscience]

Can your husband stay home with the kids? If his income is lower anyway, and your job is inflexible, why not have him work part time? Or if you really want to be the one to stay home, maybe he can look for a higher paying job. Otherwise it doesn''t seem like staying home is the best bet for your family if nothing changes with your professions.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I think it is all give and take. Sounds like you are make much more than your husband so if you are set on staying at home scarifies will have to happen. Can you move to a neighboring town that is cheaper? Can your DH get a promotion? Can you take on part time work in another field. I also have a few friends that babysat another kid. How much are you willing to give up to make your dream happen? Coupons, budgets, sales all help stretch the income but if there is a huge gap nothing but more income will help. Good luck. It is a tough position to be in for sure!

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

Will your government job provide you with a "position" after your maternity leave--perhaps not the FT position you have now, but another job in a different dept, one that is more flexible or part-time? Another option is to get a part-time job that requires evening or weekend work, so your DH can look after the kids and you can avoid daycare costs.

cheers--Sharon

 

[steph72276]

While we're fortunate to be living comfortably on my husband's salary, I consider myself to be pretty conservative with money, so here's my suggestions:

~Since you don't have kids yet, start living on one income NOW to see how it works out.
~Get on a monthly budget and spend every penny on paper first and track everything to see where you could cut out. There are lots of money software programs to use to do your budgeting.
~Stop eating out except special occasions. Making things from scratch is easier and healthier
~Work hard now to pay off any debt you may have. We did this a few years ago...it was tough but worth it. Now our only debt is our mortgage, so it frees up lots of extra that would have been going to monthly payments. I recommend Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover for an easy, common sense approach. You can check it out from the library.
~Finally, you said you were looking to buy, but you might want to/have to rent in order to keep monthly payments lower and keep you in a safe area...that's just something you might have to push back if you really want to make staying at home work.

Good luck!!

 

[Haven]

My parents raised us on one income, and it was always pretty small compared to our area.

When they wanted to buy a house after years of renting (I''m the oldest child and I was 11 when they decided they wanted to buy) we moved in with their best friends (who have two daughters of their own) for a year and both families saved a lot of money. We lived in a small raised ranch. My parents lived in the lower level, and all of us girls smooshed into two bedrooms. It was a total blast for us kids, by the way.

THEN, when they were ready to buy there were only FOUR homes in our school district that were in their budget, so they picked the best of the lot. My mom still lives in that house to this day. It has three bedrooms and 1.5 baths.

We ate a lot of baked potatoes, we only took driving vacations when we vacationed at all, and if us kids ever wanted anything we had to work and save our own money for it. We shopped for clothes in resale shops, and all of my things became hand-me-downs once I was finished with them. Going to the movies was a big deal, a total luxury. We rented a lot of tapes from the library or borrowed from friends for Family Movie Nights. We had a weekly trip to the library, which was not only FREE but also a great bonding experience. And I''m pretty sure it has a lot to do with my lifelong love of reading, as well.

Our favorite dinner growing up was Picnic in the Living Room--we''d spread a blanket on the floor and eat sliced cheese (those cheap bar cheeses) on Saltine crackers. We didn''t know we did it because it was a cheap meal, we just thought it was an awesome way to eat dinner.

We had a lot of ritual family activities that were awesome, and free--library night, board game night, picnic in the living room night, frozen pizza and movie night, etc. My parents were also really active in community stuff when I was younger, so we were always doing stuff, and it rarely involved spending money--painting signs for some protest, attending meetings and painting signs and setting up for the Chicago Jewish Folk Arts Festival every other year, making and passing out buttons for the cause of the moment, attending youth group events because our parents were the youth group leaders, going to people''s houses where my parents discussed the current state of politics with other liberals all night, those sorts of things.

I think if you have hobbies and little family rituals, it''s hard to even realize that you don''t have some of the stuff you might if you had more money.

My mom is extremely creative, so she just turned everything into an adventure for us, and so we were rarely bothered by the fact that we were on of the least well-off families in the school. Yes, I wanted a pair of Keds more than anything in the 5th grade, but I didn''t get them, and I survived. We always got scholarships from our temple to attend summer camp, so we didn''t miss out on that, which happened to be one of the greatest experiences of my childhood. We spent a lot of time outside, walking around the Botanic Garden or riding bikes or going to listen to free live music in parks.

I started babysitting at age 11 so I could go to the movies with my friends every Friday. They all paid for their tickets with allowance money, I paid for mine with babysitting money. Not too bad.

I guess these aren''t the best practical insights on how to make it on less, but isn''t it good to know that you can raise your kids with not a lot and still give them wonderful memories of their childhood?

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 4/28/2010 3:18:24 PM
Author: FL Steph
~Finally, you said you were looking to buy, but you might want to/have to rent in order to keep monthly payments lower and keep you in a safe area...that's just something you might have to push back if you really want to make staying at home work.

Good luck!!

When DH and decided to downsize, the first thing we did was look to renting instead. We now save A LOT of money every month between not having house payments or property taxes. We were paying around $5K a year in taxes!

As mentioned, the library is great. If you have an account, you can order most stuff online and then just do a weekly pickup of all held things. We do that and then if the kids are along, they can browse their section. The library also has a lot of movies. . .not new releases, but it's great for movies that you may want to see that your husband may not necessarily want to! I always get a few chick flicks. Also, if you like movies, Netflix is a good option b/c you can pick the amount of movies and return whenever. Paying late fees on movies sucks. Oh, and when it comes to books, generally I like to buy mine and I *always* get them used rather than new. Amazon is a favorite of mine!

Kids also do not need expensive toys. My sons will keep themselves busy with water bottles and ants (poor little ants) for hours at a time. They will spend more time doing stuff like that than playing with their fancy branded toys.

Oh, and with CL around, you can find some fabulous stuff for very inexpensive! Also, consignment shops are a great option. You can hang dry the baby/toddler clothes - this is what I did - and then fluff they in they dryer. This is great b/c this saves power AND the clothes do not shrink up so they last longer.

 

[tcm]

You''ve received lots of encouragement to be creative--and I would second that. There are amazing websites these days that give you ideas on how to save money/find coupons for so many things--food, entertainment, household products, etc. Craigslist, garage sales and thrift stores are great ways to purchase things for a fraction of their retail cost, and then there''s swapping with friends. Our family has done all of this.

We do this for the very same reasons you''ve mentioned--my husband LOVES his job and it''s worth it for me to see him thriving in his career, even if it doesn''t pay all that much. I work part time and am able to work from home which gives me the flexibility I desire in terms of caring for our children. We haven''t had the opportunity to take fancy vacations, never eat out without coupons, etc. There are days when I''d love to splurge on things, but wow, I am grateful for all that we have and the flexibility our lifestyle has given us.

One final thought, it might be worth checking into Iif you haven''t already) whether or not your husband is eligible for a clergy housing allowance--it can make a significant difference in terms of your taxes and free up some income for you.

 

[RaiKai]

I should have added, since others have mentioned renting rather than buying, that DH and I rent now too (we both used to own homes). It does allow us to have a nice little place in a nice area without worrying about property taxes, mortgage interest, home repairs and so on. Yes, it means we are paying our landlords mortgage, but it does free up some of our money and gives us some flexibility.

For many years of my childhood I grew up in a household with either one parent making income....or with a single mother. I, like Haven, have many many fond memories of libraries, picnics, and so on. My mum still made efforts to get me into ballet classes, swimming classes and others sports and the like but went through local community programs that offered low-cost options. I played outside a LOT - we had no video games or anything.

She was a good seamstress so made many of my clothes - and also made a little extra income sewing baby blankets, crib linings, sleepers and such for local baby supply stores which she could do from home.

Oh, and we ate a LOT of homemade soup. Get a crock pot if you do not have one!

You need to get creative if you want to make it work...and it may mean making some compromises along the way. I watch "Til Debt Do us Part" frequently, and often couples get themselves into trouble when one of them goes on mat leave or wants to stay home and they just don't make the adjustments to their lifestyle to make it work (or...quite simply..they CANNOT afford to do it). Often the stay at home parent has to go back to work at least part time, or the other has to pick up extra hours (spending even more time away from home).

 

[PinkTower]

For savings w/an infant, if you are home anyway, consider:

Breastfeed exclusively.
Use cloth diapers.
Babysit.
Work at a mother's morning out or something else that allows you to take the baby with you.

Have a worst case scenario plan before having a baby. Ours came prematurely, so I could not have gone back to work even if I had to. Know what you will do as a couple if the baby is not full term and someone must stay home with the baby.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 4/28/2010 4:29:27 PM
Author: RaiKai
For many years of my childhood I grew up in a household with either one parent making income....or with a single mother. I, like Haven, have many many fond memories of libraries, picnics, and so on. My mum still made efforts to get me into ballet classes, swimming classes and others sports and the like but went through local community programs that offered low-cost options. I played outside a LOT - we had no video games or anything.

Regarding sports/activities. . .we pick and choose where and how much we want to spend. For swimming lessons and karate, we've saved hundreds by going through the park's department. For my two kids, swimming was about $36 (total - both kids combined) every six weeks and all my friends have their kids' classes at either their gym or at the YMCA and both were much more expensive ($120+ per six weeks). The type of activies we do spend more on are team sports where their is more opportunity for the boys to play along side their friends from school. CL has used bats/gloves, etc., and some of the organizations by us even sponser trade events so people do not need to buy new stuff. The only new I buy include shoes and shirts w/their names on them.

You can even find nice bikes that are used. Even my friends who's husbands make big bucks buy used stuff to save money!

 

[megumic]

I think if you''re serious about maintaining the home you''re in for your future family, then you need to take steps now to ensure you can maintain it. I firmly believe major lifestyle changes are really the way to go.

We live on one income at the moment b/c I''m a law student. Loans pay for tuition, but otherwise we survive on one income. We''re saving for our wedding (paying for 2/3), a home, retirement, children, college for the children and to pay off my law school loans. In just 9 months, we''ve saved more than 1/4 of FI salary with some humbling and challenging changes.

I think the single best thing we''ve done is to just STOP shopping. Literally, unless there is a specific purpose for which we must enter a store, we just don''t go. It has been challenging because aside from a new dress for my brother''s wedding, neither of us have bought an article of clothing in more than nine months!

We''ve also spent one whole month keeping track of every cent out the door. It was almost a competition - who spent less today??? We take our breakfast, coffee and lunch with us to school/work every single day and rarely splurge for lunch or a 2nd coffee.

If we eat out, it''s at a reasonable place where we can BYOB and dinner comes to less than $40. Admittedly, we''ve turned down lots of social events and plans to save, but I think it''s humbling to learn how to say no, or come up with cheaper plans.

Coupons. We save about $20/week in coupons. Only clip what you''ll eat or use, but then go to the store that has a sale and will allow a double coupon. We also stock up on good sales with things we use consistently.

Planning is also key. Knowing what''s coming financially helps us sort out how to spend now.

Hope this is helpful and that you''re able to make it work for your family!

 

[Haven]

Oh yes--Keeping track of every single cent you spend is a GREAT way to spend less. We do it, and it totally works.

 

[oobiecoo]

We live only on DH''s income which is a bit less than median for our area I think. Luckily it will go up quite a bit in the next 2 years(if all goes well) but for now we just stick to a tight budget. We recently paid off all of our credit card debt so now all we have is student loans (but alot of them!) and his car. I use coupons alot and shop sales. As far as clothing/household stuff goes... I pretty much never buy anything unless its on sale. I''m lucky that I''m actually good at bargain hunting. I try to cook most meals although lately I''ve been slacking. Since we''ve moved, DH has been taking the train to work which saves a little bit on gas. Its just the little things that make a difference in my opinion!

 

[PumpkinPie]

we both make pretty good money (just a recent change for me - I used to be a student earning nearly nothing) but we live on 35-40% of our income and save the rest. We simply don''t shop much, eat at home most of the time (I second the crock pot idea) and only have one vehicle.
I second the idea of craigslist/kijiji for both selling unneeded items and buying needed items on the cheap - also look into your local Freecycle group online

 

[sbde]

plantationcatt - this is v doable!

both my DH and i work, and earn very good salaries. however from the moment we were married 4 yrs ago, we decided that we wanted to live on less than 1 income and set the rest aside as savings. keep in mind that we live in a very pricey city in the northeast = high cost of living!

i wouldn''t say we are overly frugal, but we are definitely not luxurious in our spending - we almost always eat at home, purchased a house that could be afforded with one income (even though the banks were offering us a significantly higher loan), we make do with just 1 car (full disclosure, it is a luxury car) and don''t have crazy shopping habits. we save our large, indulgent purchases for occasions such as birthdays and anniversaries. we carry no credit card debt, and only purchase things on credit that we can pay off in full at the end of the month, including furniture.

my advice is to start spending like you only have one income, and see how difficult/easy it is for you to make that adjustment in your lifestyle. quantify how much your household income would be if you were working in a part-time position in your field and try to live within that household budget for a few months.

good luck!

 

[sctsbride09]

We also live on 1 income, although not small, we still live very below our means so that we are able to save a lot. Here are a few things that help us.

1. We have a garden. Im not sure what area you are in, but if it is an area where you can grow a garden, DO IT. We grow tomatoes to eat about 6 months out of the year, and we also can marinara sauce, chopped tomatoes, whole tomatoes and salsa etc. for later in the year when they are off season. Potatoes, squash, string beans, cucumbers, onions, garlic and all herbs are very easy to grow, fruit trees also help if you have the room. We have not had to buy juice since October because the fruit trees produce so much, and we freeze alot of the juice for off season. Also, you can make preserves to can, can the fruits whole, etc.

2. Cook from scratch. We almost never buy processed food, and we also buy bulk the products we use most. Oatmeal, bread flour, white flour, sugar, dried beans and rice are all great things to buy bulk and can make a ton of different items. If you can, learn to make your own bread, this 1 is a huge money saver for us, and since I perfected bread things like bagels, english muffins, naan, and pita bread are easy to make. Also they freeze quite well. Which leads me to #3

3. We own a deep freezer. Any time I see a good deal on meat, I stock up, so Im never scrambling to get groceries at a premium price. A deep freeze is also awesome for storing frozen juices, breads, butter, shredded cheese (which we buy in a massive block and shred and bag in small amounts), it has lots of sections so you dont lose track of what you have.

4. We dont have cable, eat all meals at home, pack him lunches for work, and have dates at home, or we do free stuff. Also, I buy alot of things from garage sales and CL.

It is completely possible to live below your means/ on a 1 person income, sometimes its about changing priorities. See if there is anything you have right now you can do without. IE, when the TV transition came and we were forced to either get cable, or go without tv, we chose to go without tv. To us, its just not on our priority list, and we really on watch dvds anyhow, so it was worth it to do without the cable bill. I hope you are able to figure out a budget that works for you and your family. Good Luck!

 

[Sabine]

I think it''s easier when you''ve never lived comfortably. We went from being broke college students to dh in med. school and living off my teacher''s salary and a tiny Navy stipend (so seriously on a budget) to living off just his Navy income after med school. I now stay at home with our 9 month old. The Navy pay isn''t tiny, at least I don''t think so, but we''ve never been home owners, we haven''t really started saving much for retirement yet, etc. But I guess our situation is kinda unique as we''re both still young (27) and we have dh''s future earnings as a doctor to look forward to.

But I do think if times are tough you live more for the present than for the future, although I wouldn''t suggest doing that for any ridiculously long period of time.

 

[plantationcatt]

Quickly saying I didn''t post and run. I got the nasty horrible cold DH had yesterday and missed work...have just crawled between the couch and bed all day and will certainly respond as soon as my head allows me to think clearly.

Thanks so much. I love PS.

 

[PumpkinPie]

I second the garden (we grow veggies and if you can grow veggies in Alberta, you can grow veggies almost anywhere!) and deep freeze suggestions

 

[fisherofmengirly]

Hi Plantation!

Paul and I have this discussion soon. Like you, I work for the govt. and part-time is not happening. So, when the baby comes I will very much most likely be leaving work after maternity leave and working part time (doing what I''m not sure yet, particularly given the current economic situation) to help supplement. Paul''s a teacher, so not a high income, but a good bit more than me. When we bought our home, our intent was to have a child and for me not to work, so we tried really hard to stay under a specific amount for our monthly payment. That helps a lot for when we drop to one income.

When we have the baby, Paul will likely either pick up some tutoring (lots of families at our Church have requested this and Paul may start doing it before the baby comes, I''m not sure, but it will be a good supplement when I''m no longer making the salary I currently have). All through grad school he worked as a pizza delivery man and I adore that he''s not too proud to pick that up again, if need be. I hope that tutoring will work out, though because that will be fewer hours and not a whole night away from the family....

Anyway, I think the important thing is that we (as families) make do and get through struggles. I''m certain you and your hubs will find a way!

 

[RaiKai]

Date: 4/29/2010 10:58:01 PM
Author: Maevie
I second the garden (we grow veggies and if you can grow veggies in Alberta, you can grow veggies almost anywhere!) and deep freeze suggestions

Agree. DH loves to garden. We rent but we also found there was a lovely garden space in the back that just needed some TLC to get back to par (it had not been touched in 20-something years!). Now we (or rather DH!) can grow tons of veggies and raspberries for part of the year (and can even eat frozen raspberries year round). That saves huge costs over that part of the year - especially on the lettuce varieties!

Nothing beats the taste of fresh veggies or fruit from your own garden either. I stand out in the back after I go running and just pick the raspberries off the branches, eating them as I do. Yum!

 

[DivaDiamond007]

Date: 4/29/2010 7:53:17 PM
Author: Sabine
I think it''s easier when you''ve never lived comfortably. We went from being broke college students to dh in med. school and living off my teacher''s salary and a tiny Navy stipend (so seriously on a budget) to living off just his Navy income after med school. I now stay at home with our 9 month old. The Navy pay isn''t tiny, at least I don''t think so, but we''ve never been home owners, we haven''t really started saving much for retirement yet, etc. But I guess our situation is kinda unique as we''re both still young (27) and we have dh''s future earnings as a doctor to look forward to.

But I do think if times are tough you live more for the present than for the future, although I wouldn''t suggest doing that for any ridiculously long period of time.

I agree with this. DH and I married the year I turned 23, just out of college, with debt to the eyeballs. We rented, paid off debt, paid off debt and paid off debt. We planned my pregnancy with our son, paid off more debt, bought a house and are now in that last little stretch of paying off "consumer debt". We''ve never lived comfortably, haven''t been on a vacation since our honeymoon and he''s the only one with any retirement savings, and it''s not much at that. I don''t know if we will ever live comfortably or not.

We make less than the median income for the city we live in. Like you, when we started looking at homes there wasn''t much available in our budget so that made it a little tough. We hired a good realtor and looked at all of the decent homes in our budget and in the end it came down to only 2 that would be worthwhile. Our house is the standard starter home for the area - 2 bedrooms and 1 bathroom on a fenced lot with a 1.5 car garage. That said, if we had looked in a neighboring city we could have spent the same amount of money and gotten a bigger house - but we wanted to buy in the best school district we could afford so we gave up a 3rd and possibly 4th bedroom and a garage space for that. It''s all about compromise.

We save money buy using coupons for only items that we will actually use, shop the sales at the grocery store and neither of us buy a lot of clothing or other personal items. We budget for projects around the house, my jewelry and DH''s hobbies. If we don''t have the cash for the fun stuff then we don''t do it or buy it. For the baby, we take all hand-me-downs that come our way and use the cheap store brand diapers sometimes.

To me, as long as you can pay your bills and take care of yourself and your family then you''re doing ok. Expensive "stuff" just doesn''t matter to me. My son is fed, happy and healthy and that is the most important thing to me.

 

[partgypsy]

I find personal finance a kind of fun hobby (only wish I was better at applying the principles to myself

).
Websites I really like are Get Rich Slowly, Simple Dollar. Another great book is Tightwad Gazette.
The book I picked up most recently I thought was really worthwhile was All your worth. It gives a formula, where try to have your needs be 50% of income, non-essentials 30% of income, and saving 20% of income (have to look in book to figure out what goes where). You can deviate from these for delimited times, such as taking a year off due to having a child, etc, but for long term financial health, should keep within those bounds.
For you, you need to figure out if getting your needs into 50% of income is doable, considering not having your income, what it means for for where you live, what you have to eat, paying all regular and irregular bills, etc. There is no right answer. You may find creative ways to cut food bill, find a great place to rent, be willing to cut tithing, use an older, paid for car, etc so can take off work but have a quality life for yourself and your family. Or you may find you would prefer to keep working so can afford better housing, replace car when need to, life insurance, etc. But you need to get out your bills, get out your calculators, etc and see where you are at right now with and without your income.

I guess I am very old fashioned, but in matters such as that, it doesn''t matter what we think, it''s really a decision you and your husband need to discuss and come to a decision together about. He also may be willing to work extra, or you work part time, etc. Think about all the options.

 

[partgypsy]

Date: 4/28/2010 3:19:24 PM
Author: Haven
My parents raised us on one income, and it was always pretty small compared to our area.

When they wanted to buy a house after years of renting (I''m the oldest child and I was 11 when they decided they wanted to buy) we moved in with their best friends (who have two daughters of their own) for a year and both families saved a lot of money. We lived in a small raised ranch. My parents lived in the lower level, and all of us girls smooshed into two bedrooms. It was a total blast for us kids, by the way.

THEN, when they were ready to buy there were only FOUR homes in our school district that were in their budget, so they picked the best of the lot. My mom still lives in that house to this day. It has three bedrooms and 1.5 baths.

We ate a lot of baked potatoes, we only took driving vacations when we vacationed at all, and if us kids ever wanted anything we had to work and save our own money for it. We shopped for clothes in resale shops, and all of my things became hand-me-downs once I was finished with them. Going to the movies was a big deal, a total luxury. We rented a lot of tapes from the library or borrowed from friends for Family Movie Nights. We had a weekly trip to the library, which was not only FREE but also a great bonding experience. And I''m pretty sure it has a lot to do with my lifelong love of reading, as well.

Our favorite dinner growing up was Picnic in the Living Room--we''d spread a blanket on the floor and eat sliced cheese (those cheap bar cheeses) on Saltine crackers. We didn''t know we did it because it was a cheap meal, we just thought it was an awesome way to eat dinner.

We had a lot of ritual family activities that were awesome, and free--library night, board game night, picnic in the living room night, frozen pizza and movie night, etc. My parents were also really active in community stuff when I was younger, so we were always doing stuff, and it rarely involved spending money--painting signs for some protest, attending meetings and painting signs and setting up for the Chicago Jewish Folk Arts Festival every other year, making and passing out buttons for the cause of the moment, attending youth group events because our parents were the youth group leaders, going to people''s houses where my parents discussed the current state of politics with other liberals all night, those sorts of things.

I think if you have hobbies and little family rituals, it''s hard to even realize that you don''t have some of the stuff you might if you had more money.

My mom is extremely creative, so she just turned everything into an adventure for us, and so we were rarely bothered by the fact that we were on of the least well-off families in the school. Yes, I wanted a pair of Keds more than anything in the 5th grade, but I didn''t get them, and I survived. We always got scholarships from our temple to attend summer camp, so we didn''t miss out on that, which happened to be one of the greatest experiences of my childhood. We spent a lot of time outside, walking around the Botanic Garden or riding bikes or going to listen to free live music in parks.

I started babysitting at age 11 so I could go to the movies with my friends every Friday. They all paid for their tickets with allowance money, I paid for mine with babysitting money. Not too bad.

I guess these aren''t the best practical insights on how to make it on less, but isn''t it good to know that you can raise your kids with not a lot and still give them wonderful memories of their childhood?

Haven, I find your descriptions of you growing up entertaining and also inspiring! It''s amazing what love can do, and also children are resilient. Times I was growing up sometimes considered poor, other times working class, other times upper middle class. I had a great childhood with plenty of activities (and a creative, supportive mom) and so had no clue. Only when we were older and the grandparents mentioning what a dump/tenement we lived in when little, that realized gasp-we were poor growing up. For a long time had no tv, and then one tv. I think it was a blessing in disguise, because it strengthened our imaginations.

I think Chicago is a great place to grow up because of all the great parks/public areas. My favorite was the morton arboretum.

 

[plantationcatt]

What a wonderful resource PS is. I’ve been sick and sans internet, my apologies for finally coming back! Thank you all for the informative and sincere responses.

MC: We also have both cars paid off. That’s a relief. Thank you for the suggestion/reminder about watching someone else’s child. Also, that our child should have some time alone. Do you usually trade kids for no cost or do you get paid? Is it comparable to babysitter fees? What considerations did you and your DH take in when you decided to downsize and how did you choose where you live now? I wouldn’t have thought the parks dept. would be cheaper than the Y, but now I’ll have to watch that, thanks for the heads up.

RaiKai: I would think 75$ would be a drastic change, hah! It’s nice to know we’re not the only ones with student loan debt. My husband has left in debt about 70% of what is his annual salary. I also am a worrier…I’m unsuccessfully working on that. You seem like you changed to your situation well and adapted quickly, that’s encouraging. Finding a job I enjoy part time would certainly be possible, but in this smaller town I’d have to get creative…going to ponder that. Having some variable expense money would keep us sane. How did yall transition to renting and what did you learn in the process? I would love to find the time to expand my sewing skills like your mom. (note to self, do this while watching tv so it’s not mindless time). We have a crockpot but don’t use it as much as we should! My DH is on the same page financially, but understands much, much less, and is much, much less of a worrier. We try to even each other out. Most of the time it works. Also, raspberries are DARN expensive, I should check if our climate could grow them to freeze.

charbie: I have a bachelor’s degree in a professional field that’s fairly specific (Urban and Regional Planning) but really love historic preservation and architecture, and am working on a continuing education certificate in that. Maybe that will lead to a part time niche while we have kids and then I’d love to work as a consultant after the kiddos are all in school (in a perfect world). The gym membership thing is true. My DH thinks he might quit (saving $20/month) and I’d keep going, since I go for the classes and social interaction with women (I work with mostly men all day).

thing2of2: He would love to, and his schedule is much more flexible, which is great. However, he is passionate about his job and I would never ask him to quit. I’d rather work than have him not be able to. But, the good thing is that we could share time together/apart depending on his schedule. He’s not tied down to the office all day every day.

Tacori: Yeah, I think it’s going to come down to moving. And he’s the youth minister at church, which is a full time 45+ hour a week job with health insurance and a pension, but there’s never going to be a promotion. Everyone on staff gets a cost of living raise each year, and a small Christmas bonus, but never a significant promotion, there’s just no funding for them. I have encouraged him to ask for a merit raise since he’s been there three years and now has more experience that when he was hired. Don’t get me wrong, they love having him there, and he loves being there. I feel like I’m willing to give up a lot, but moving is the last option I’ll want to do. This decision will probably get much easier while I’m on maternity leave (right, right?)

canuk: I would be very surprised if they would give me another job. There are very few part time jobs, but it’s something I’m going to ask about when I’m closer to maternity leave. It would be great if they could make the current position I’m in part time, or let me work from home (none of the 600 employees are allowed to do that now, so miracle needed for that). Avoiding daycare costs would be awesome.

FL Steph: We’d have to sell our house this week to live on his income alone, but I’m currently watching the housing market. Also, I’ve been a decent budgeter but recently have been very careful about any extra pennies slipping away. How may I ask did yall dig into the debt quickly? We just have his student loans, but I’d lose a finger to get them paid off.

Haven: Thank you for your honest perspective. Since we’ve lived in a single family home since we got married (low housing cost compared to CA and NY and stuff) it would be tough to share a house, but it would be an adventure! I think you’re better for having earned your “extras.” My parents never bought material things for me, but I was blessed that they paid for dance and music lessons. My mom’s a librarian, so it’s wonderful to know you spent quality time reading as a family! Picnic in the Living Room sounds like a blast. When my mom worked part time at night, my dad would take me to get saltines, hoop cheese, and a sprite at the little store down the road as a treat. Those are some of my favorite memories with him. Thank you also for reminding me that there are scholarships for camp. Since we wouldn’t qualify now, I forget we may be able to in the future. I think the only thing money can buy for kids is a good place to grow up, everything else will fall into place. And by good place, I certainly don’t mean wealthy neighborhood. I mean, somewhere they can play with friends and have some grass and be safe.

tcm: My momma was creative…I hope I have that gene hiding in me somewhere. She made the most awesome peanut butter play dough. (Edible and stretchy!) Wonderful news that your husband loves his job, despite the pay. Makes things a bit tricky, but worth it. Does working part time mean you have to find child care for those hours? We don’t take fancy vacations either, but use any free time to see family that’s in driving distance. He asked last year about the clergy housing allowance, and I think the church would let him, but our tax advisor wasn’t sure. Worth checking into again, thanks for the reminder. Is your husband also in the ministry or are you a tax advisor (wink)?

Pink Tower: I hope to breastfeed and also plan on cloth diapers! I hadn’t thought of working for a mother’s day out or preschool or something along those lines. Do you think child work experience would be necessary or are there other things I could do? Thank you also for a reminder that having a well laid plan isn’t always helpful. I hope things are well for your family now.

megumic: Our mortgage payment (taxes & insurance included) now would be 56% of DH’s gross salary. Is that even possible or safe if we cut everything else to nubs? Glad yalls spending (or not spending) competition was successful, we may implement that! We’ve not spent more than $30 at dinner in over a year, but tend to buy meat at the grocery store (though when it’s on sale). It’s frustrating that produce never has coupons, only occasional discounts! And maybe I should just go back to grad school instead of work! (Sort of kidding).

oobiecoo: Did you do anything other than be scrupulous about spending to pay off the debt?

Maevie: That is awesome that yall save that much. It will be worth it in the end. I don’t think freecycle in the area is very active, but we do peruse craigslist from time to time. I think we’ll be getting a fence for cheap this week.

sbde: I appreciate your optimism! Help me find mine! I didn’t think I’d ever be able to stay home on his income, so we went ahead and got a house with both considered. Wish we’d done what yall did.

sctsbride: I love that yall have a garden. I tried one last year, but even with screens the deer and birds and rabbits kept eating our vegetables. The peppers and herbs did well in pots on the steps, though. What can I grow well in those? Tomatoes should work, as long as there is a support, right? Homemade marinara sounds delicious. Where do you buy staple food in bulk? We do have a Sam’s Club about an hour away, but haven’t been there in a while, I guess they would? We also have a deep freezer, but if we have to downsize, it might be tough to fit that somewhere. Decisions, decisions.

Sabine: Congrats on your recent little one! How comfortable do you feel not putting money in retirement? I guess with his upcoming salary you can make up for lost time?

fisher: I feel you on the government inflexibility. Do you plan to go back for even a couple weeks (or however long it is) from maternity leave so you don’t have to retro-pay for healthcare premiums? Are you planning on telling them you’re not returning?

Diva: DH and I also married at 22 out of college. Making real estate choices is a nightmare. I’m glad yall could find something to settle with, even if you did have to make compromises. I think we’re torn with spending gas money to drive in 30 minutes in every day to live in a cheaper area where our kids couldn’t play next door with friends vs. living in town with other kids and tiny commuting costs. How did that play out for yall?

part gypsy: Glad I’m not the only one that finds finance sort of fun. I haven’t read All Your Worth, I appreciate the recommendation. And old fashioned isn’t bad. It’s usually good. (And I visited Chicago in 2000 and loved it!)

I’m sure there were many more things I wanted to say, but this post has gotten long. Additional comments are certainly appreciated, as I’ll be around more than I was this past week!

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 5/5/2010 2:56:23 PM
Author: plantationcatt

MC: We also have both cars paid off. That’s a relief. Thank you for the suggestion/reminder about watching someone else’s child. Also, that our child should have some time alone. Do you usually trade kids for no cost or do you get paid? Is it comparable to babysitter fees? What considerations did you and your DH take in when you decided to downsize and how did you choose where you live now? I wouldn’t have thought the parks dept. would be cheaper than the Y, but now I’ll have to watch that, thanks for the heads up.

For the regular weekly watching last school year, I was charging the mom and her kids are the same ages as mine (they were in kindergarden & 2nd at that time), so the kids played together and got along well. I charged her $10/hour. It was PT.

There is another mom who asks me to watch her kids (for free - she'll just call and ask, can you watch them) and her son and my younger one argue, so it's very frustrating. I've never asked her to watch my kids, but sometimes my kids will play at her house and my younger son always comes home upset.

With downsizing, our two considerations were: cheaper payments (we went from owning to renting a townhome/condo - where we didn't have to pay utilities) and picking a place where our kids remained in the same school. Then we made the mistake up "upsizing" again, back to a house - but a rental - and not only became frustrated at the amount we were paying, but also again having to pay for utilities. So, we went from house, townhome, then house before deciding we HAD to make a major change. In all three places, the kids stayed in the same school. That was a HUGE deal to us. The reason we're moving now is because our rent is $1,800 a month and that's flat out crazy. With our current move, our main consideration is saving money with lower rent, however, in order to do so, we've had to move to a new school district.

(So this will be moving to our fourth residence in THREE years!)