How to make friends in a new place?

[les12]

My husband and I are moving next month and I'm feeling really apprehensive.

About a week after we get there, he will start a 3 week on/3 week off rotation in Trinidad. So basically for most of the first month, I'll be there "alone".

I'm pretty shy and slow to make new friends. He on the other hand could hold a conversation with absolutely anyone. Normally, he helps me branch out and meet people, but since he won't be there much, I'll be "forced" to do it alone. I'm sure it will be good for me, but I'm terribly anxious.

Any advice? What have you done in similar situations?

 

[Selkie]

I'm shy too, but I've got a few hobbies that I absolutely love, and could do or talk about for hours (one happens to be gemology). I also have a list of things I want to learn to do, so what I always do when I move is scope out any organizations or clubs, or even classes that grab my interest. That way I'm guaranteed to meet people with whom I have at least one thing in common, and a built-in ice-breaker topic. It helps with the anxiety a lot, and I'm still good friends with people I met this way a decade ago. Are you going to be living in Trinidad, or somewhere else in the Caribbean? I'd look into learning scuba or sailing. Good luck with the move!

ETA: Just read your post about "Rent or Buy" and saw you're moving to Houston. My brother used to live there, in the Heights, if you know that area.

 

[les12]

Thank you Selkie for the reply. I think you're right about joining a club/class to make friends, I just always feel so awkward when I don't know a single soul there!

I should mention I'll also be on the job hunt so that will occupy some of my time. And I'll be launching a little Etsy shop as well to sell some handmade jewelry. So I'll hopefully be staying somewhat busy, but I think my main goal is to meet people and get out of my comfort zone a little. It's going to be tough but I know what has to be done...

And yes it will be Houston, not Trinidad- don't I wish!

 

[LtlFirecracker]

I am just like you. My FI has wonderful social skills, I have a hard time making friends.

I think joining a club or a group is a great idea. Me and my FI are taking dance lessons in San Antonio, and we are meeting a lot of people. The classes are set up for people to socialize. They even have weekly "parties" where you practice your dancing, they provide the wine. That will get people out of their shell .

If you are into making things, you can sign up for an art class (one of my friends who is new to the area did that). Also, if you find a group you click with at work, have a little "housewarming" party.

Good luck. I have been living in Texas for 9 months, it is different, but I am starting to like it.

 

[yennyfire]

Hi Les,

Moving can be so stressful. I'm pretty shy too and I remember how I felt when we moved to a new place and I knew no one. I like the suggestions that have been made. Could you find a bead shop in your area? I tinker with jewelry and have met some nice people at the classes I've taken there, and the owner has a back room where you can hang out and work on your projects....

Threadjack coming....do you already have an Etsy shop? I ask because I have one too. I don't know if it's acceptable to post it here, but I'd love to see your stuff if we're allowed to do that....if not and you need any help/have any questions getting it set up, please let me know. I'm by no means an expert, but I've been doing it for over a year and have most of my kinks worked out.

Good luck with your move!

 

[les12]

LtlFireCracker, I love the idea of a dance class, but I don't think my husband would go for that hah! We will definitely join some things together, but while he's away I want to be able to make some acquaintances on my own. I agree that once I find a job, having coworkers to socialize with outside of work will be great! A housewarming party would be very fun

Yennyfire, I have been working on my etsy "inventory" but haven't listed anything yet. I actually was wondering if it's ok to talk about that here too, because once it's ready I'd like to be able to share with other Etsy sellers here on Pricescope. I may be contacting you for some info once I get into it- and I really like the idea of beading classes, that sounds fun!

Thanks again both of you for replying

 

[panda08]

Have you checked out www.meetup.com? It's a site that allows people to connect with others who have similar interests. It's not like FB. There are actual groups, like a book club, you join (some are public and everyone can join while others are private and require permission from the host), and the group posts events you can sign up for. There are TONS of different groups on meetup, from knitting to real estate investments to football fans. If you have an interest, there's probably a meetup group for it. And if not, you can always start your own. DH and I met through friends that we separately knew from a foodie meetup we were members of

Good luck with your move!

 

[Ella]

I apologize, but naming your Etsy shops falls under the self-promotion rule and we need to enforce those rules for everyone whether you are an etsy vendor or a large diamond seller. Because we do not allow self-promotion we also don't allow naming or leaving hints to get people to visit your store. If we allowed this type of promotion Pricescope would be inundated with posts soliciting for business/website hits.

General discussion topics about etsy are fine as long as specifics about items for sale, store names, item names, etc. are not posted.

 

[les12]

Thank you panda! I'm going to check out that website today, what a great idea

Ella- thanks for the clarification!

 

[princesss]

Sports and classes at the gym! That's how I've met pretty much all of my good friends here. When I moved 2 years ago I knew nobody, but by getting involved in a bunch of things, I met some really amazing friends.

 

[les12]

Princesss- great idea. I could afford to get in shape too Thanks for the reply.

I'm starting to feel not so worried, and this could definitely be a really fun time for me, as long as I'm determined to make it that.

 

[princesss]

Princesss- great idea. I could afford to get in shape too Thanks for the reply.

I'm starting to feel not so worried, and this could definitely be a really fun time for me, as long as I'm determined to make it that.

Definitely! It's all about how you approach it. My family moves a LOT, and I guess the apple didn't fall far from the tree with me, because I love it. It is harder to make friends as an adult, but the more you put yourself out there, the more people you meet, and the more friends you make. And then 2 years later you're wondering why you were ever worried about it.