How to get past bad feelings?

[jjc]

This is kind of an odd question, but I'm hoping someone has some insight. I have some bad feelings toward our videographers, who, while insanely talented, and happen to be friends with our photographers so they're 'vouched for,' haven't really been so great in terms of giving us information and keeping us updated. The reason why that makes me so resentful is that we have a shoot in two weeks, called a Love Story where it will literally be the two of us in front of the camera, telling our story. Without any information and prep ahead of time, I'm terrified that it will just be an insanely awkward, uncomfortable mess - a fear that they themselves have said is very common and understandable. I had to literally chase them down to get some information on how everything will go down - I'd asked them a couple months back when we booked them, and they said not to worry, they'd send us information. Well, I hadn't heard from them since, so I sent yet another email, which in all honesty had a snippy undertone. I tried to be understanding because they're going through some growing pains, but it's not a small sum of money we're paying for their services, and I'd already expressed how nervous we are about being on film.

My question is, how do I make sure that any bad feelings - on both our ends - don't get in the way of the final product? I'm sure the main videographer with whom I've been communicating must be annoyed with me as well, and I just don't want that to affect the resultant film, since chemistry is so very important. I'm going through some very rough times right now, so I'm sure that I have a much shorter fuse than I would normally, and I'm so worried that he hates me now and our films will turn out badly. My first wedding nightmare was about them being completely unprepared and rude on our wedding day - help please!

 

[zipzapgirl]

I think maybe you need to step back and not let it get to you personally. I doubt he''s putting you off and not responding because he doesn''t want to deliver a quality product or he doesn''t like you. He''s probably just busy--we all are. I''ve found that a large part of my job and a large part of wedding planning involved just pushing people along to keep the progress moving. No, it''s not fun to call people, remind them, email them, etc., but once I realized that that''s what made me *effective* then I accepted it and I just do it. People (even professionals) are often very by-the-seat-of-their-pants, but this very quality means they''re usu. very good at responding to unanticipated complications. Two weeks out is probably a lot further out than he has on his immediate to-do list.

My advice is to email him matter of factly and let him know you''re looking forward to the shoot and just need to know what to prepare and what to bring. Otherwise, you''ll be there at the appointed time ready and in high spirits. This puts the ball in his court--he needs to get his requests in now--and lets him shoot off a bullet-point list of what he needs you to prepare/bring/do. Then you both have the prep work checked off your list

 

[Prana]

I think that zip zap girls advice was pretty good. And I just wanted to add that I feel the same way about our photographers. They are amazing....if you can get a hold of them! I think they are just too busy for their own good to be able to respond quickly and appropriately. I try not to take it personally, and as long as I continue to get exceptional products, I just let it slide.

I can feel your frustration though!

 

[PumpkinPie]

I''m sorry you''re frustrated jjc - I also agree with zipzapgirl''s advice good luck! jjc

 

[elrohwen]

I agree with the others that you should really try not to let it bother you personally.

Also, I found that many wedding vendors do things the week before the wedding/shoot/etc. They have a lot of other weddings going on and it''s often not possible for them to be checking in on each couple so far in advance. I wanted to tell my photographer where to be a few weeks before the wedding, but he really needed me to tell him a few days before, know what I mean? It doesn''t mean they''re not on top of things, just that they need to get past the projects they''re doing next weekend before they can put thought towards your project.

 

[jjc]

Thank you everyone, you all are absolutely right. I let my non-wedding related stress and nervousness to be filmed get to me. I think having both the engagement session and the video shoot on the same day has got me crazy nervous, but that's not helping anything so I just need to try not to be so terrified! But I'm hideously unphotogenic so that's gonna be hard!

Also, I planned our whole wedding in three months, I was done last month, and our wedding isn't til October so I think I was so relaxed that having both of those things that are actually *happening* as opposed to just being planned kinda caught me a little off guard I guess. I re-read my email and actually I think only I'd know I was frustrated from what I wrote, so I'm just going to keep reminding myself of why I chose this vendor and just have fun.

Thanks for helpng me re-gain perspective, ladies!