How to eat healthy when no one else around you does?

[akmiss]

Everyone around me is fit and can eat pretty much anything they want. I have been trying to eat healthy mainly to loose some extra weight but am sabotaged by my FI and family. I also have an auto-immune disease (RA) and I realize how important my diet is for my long term health. The other night my FI cooked dinner for us - shrimp in coconut milk! Yes, the shrimp is healthy by it was smothered in fat....... This happens all the time! He will get off of work and bring me home a Hershey''s Chocolate bar! Because he wants to make me happy. Or he will bring in chips, beer, and ice cream. I am worse than a junkie when this stuff is around

I have had numerous conversations with him and my mother about my health concerns. They are just like, "Well, then don''t eat it."

 

[marcy]

Akmiss, sorry you are surrounded by temptations but only you can turn them down or walk away from them. Keep a stock of healthy food on hand so even if they are eating chips, ice cream or drinking beer you can have low fat chips, low fat ice cream and light beer. I would continue to express to your FI and family you are serious about doing this and you'd appreciate their help. If you do eat the things your FI cooks or brings for you just cut down how much of it you eat. Another option is to increase your activity to counter any extra calories you eat. Good luck.

 

[honey22]

Date: 8/10/2008 3:56:07 PM
Author:akmiss
Everyone around me is fit and can eat pretty much anything they want. I have been trying to eat healthy mainly to loose some extra weight but am sabotaged by my FI and family. I also have an auto-immune disease (RA) and I realize how important my diet is for my long term health. The other night my FI cooked dinner for us - shrimp in coconut milk! Yes, the shrimp is healthy by it was smothered in fat....... This happens all the time! He will get off of work and bring me home a Hershey''s Chocolate bar! Because he wants to make me happy. Or he will bring in chips, beer, and ice cream. I am worse than a junkie when this stuff is around

I have had numerous conversations with him and my mother about my health concerns. They are just like, ''Well, then don''t eat it.''

Hi akmiss! I have RA too, so I understand all about that!

I have been trying to lose weight (half way to my goal weight) and I find the same thing. Especially when I am tired/run-down and my joints are playing up, I just have no energy to cook, and I actually crave junkfood. My DF is always giving in to my puppy dog eyes and getting me junk or choccy etc when I want it. I have to tell him to stop buying me stuff. He is really good when I ask him, but sometimes he senses that I might need a choccy fix, so he will bring some home, hide it somewhere and only let me know he has it when I am really stressing and asking for it. He is always telling me that he can''t resist making me happy. He is such a sweetie. I told him tonight that it has to stop, he has to stop listening to my evil side and we have to get on our ''wedding diet''.

I think you need to sit them both down and explain to them how hard it is to ''just not eat it'' when they bring it home for you, or eat it in front of you. They need to understand that they are in-directly jeapordising your health and not making you happy. I am sure that when they truly realise that you are struggling with resisting temptation and it''s bad for your RA, they will be a bit more cooperative.

I find that it''s a viscious circle, you get tired, run-down, have a flare up or whatever, turn to junk food cause it''s easy and comforting. Then it makes you feel worse and more lethargic and then you don''t have energy to exercise or look after yourself and then you continue to eat badly. The hardest thing is breaking that cycle and getting back on track.

I hope that it works out for you. Don''t forget there are other people who truly understand what you are going through. Sometimes I feel like no-one understands what it''s like to live with and try to manage an auto-immune disease, but there are. If you ever need to talk about it, I am here. Just start a new thread asking for me or something.

 

[Lorelei]

Date: 8/11/2008 6:52:27 AM
Author: honey22

Date: 8/10/2008 3:56:07 PM
Author:akmiss
Everyone around me is fit and can eat pretty much anything they want. I have been trying to eat healthy mainly to loose some extra weight but am sabotaged by my FI and family. I also have an auto-immune disease (RA) and I realize how important my diet is for my long term health. The other night my FI cooked dinner for us - shrimp in coconut milk! Yes, the shrimp is healthy by it was smothered in fat....... This happens all the time! He will get off of work and bring me home a Hershey''s Chocolate bar! Because he wants to make me happy. Or he will bring in chips, beer, and ice cream. I am worse than a junkie when this stuff is around

I have had numerous conversations with him and my mother about my health concerns. They are just like, ''Well, then don''t eat it.''

Hi akmiss! I have RA too, so I understand all about that!

I have been trying to lose weight (half way to my goal weight) and I find the same thing. Especially when I am tired/run-down and my joints are playing up, I just have no energy to cook, and I actually crave junkfood. My DF is always giving in to my puppy dog eyes and getting me junk or choccy etc when I want it. I have to tell him to stop buying me stuff. He is really good when I ask him, but sometimes he senses that I might need a choccy fix, so he will bring some home, hide it somewhere and only let me know he has it when I am really stressing and asking for it. He is always telling me that he can''t resist making me happy. He is such a sweetie. I told him tonight that it has to stop, he has to stop listening to my evil side and we have to get on our ''wedding diet''.

I think you need to sit them both down and explain to them how hard it is to ''just not eat it'' when they bring it home for you, or eat it in front of you. They need to understand that they are in-directly jeapordising your health and not making you happy. I am sure that when they truly realise that you are struggling with resisting temptation and it''s bad for your RA, they will be a bit more cooperative.

I find that it''s a viscious circle, you get tired, run-down, have a flare up or whatever, turn to junk food cause it''s easy and comforting. Then it makes you feel worse and more lethargic and then you don''t have energy to exercise or look after yourself and then you continue to eat badly. The hardest thing is breaking that cycle and getting back on track.

I hope that it works out for you. Don''t forget there are other people who truly understand what you are going through. Sometimes I feel like no-one understands what it''s like to live with and try to manage an auto-immune disease, but there are. If you ever need to talk about it, I am here. Just start a new thread asking for me or something.

Your boy is SUCH a keeper Honeykins!!

 

[akmiss]

Thanks for the responses everyone. I will take all the advice to heart.

Honey, your FI sounds a lot like mine. He only wants me to be happy but I guess I am the final authority on what goes into my mouth. As far as the RA goes, yes it is a challenge and thanks for the support. I was diagnosed about two years ago but have been living with it for much longer. Physically, I am doing much better now but there were times when I couldn't get out of my car or climb a flight of stairs. Not to mention the mild depression I went through after first being diagnosed and the slow but steady weight gain

. Going from being active and in my 20's to being overweight and living with a disorder I don't understand.... Thankfully, I can say I am no longer depressed and I have been slowing adding cardio and weight training to my daily activities. It is just all the snacking that getting me!

 

[marcy]

Akmiss, glad to hear you are doing better. I too have a background of health issues. I could hardly walk or stand. I have arthritis, severe allergies including to many foods, I had dangerously high blood pressure and heart problems. Once I got a great deal of weight off it made a tremendous difference in my health and this past weekend I was able to walk a mile in the Race for the Cure. I recommend you set a small goal and work on this one day at a time. It is hard but the effort is well worth it. Good luck. I''m here to help in any way I can.

Marcy

 

[miraclesrule]

This is a difficult one for me. I know what my weaknesses are so I try to never have them around the house. When my brother was living with me for awhile, he always had junk food around. It was very hard not to grab some of the Cheetos.

After I changed my diet to a primarily raw and more healthy salads and less processed foods, the less I can eat junk because it doesn''t have a good texture to me. Jalapeno Kettle Chips, Tortilla Chips and Cheetos being the exceptions. I am also not a huge fan of ice cream because it makes me thirsty, but if it is the freezer, I know I would eat it anyway.

I feel for you. Perhaps he could have a secret stash place where he stores the chip and chocolate. I can''t even stand Hershey''s chocolate bars anymore because I switched to 70% bitter chocolate from Venezuela that I buy at Trader Joes. All the rest of it tastes waxy and gross to me now. But I try to limit my binges to one square of the chocolate with some raw organic walnuts and a couple of dried cranberries. It gives me the sweet taste I am craving without going over 100 calories.

akmiss: As fattening as coconut milk may be, it is good fat, unless it is highly sweetened. I make a modified thai curry sauce and use light coconut milk, which is really just watered down regular, but whatever..

The best fat to cook with besides olive oil is also coconut oil. It looks like lard, but it isn''t. It is a lot more healthy than butter, that''s for sure.

Temptation does suck, that''s for sure. Maybe ask FI if he could support your transition to healthier eating by keeping those things away from you. As sad as this is...some men are threatened by their women getting too good looking. Hopefully he isn''t like that.

 

[akmiss]

Thanks for all the support guys

Miracles - Oh no, you didn't go and mention jalapeno chips! My personal fav and good thing there is none in the house.

 

[MajorGroove]

akmiss, I have this problem as well. My FI is absolutely wonderful, loves me at any weight, but for a long time didn''t understand that I couldn''t love myself at any weight. It''s hard to be happy in a body that''s uncomfortable to live in! My future MIL also had a terrible habit of *constantly* offering me food, or putting things on my plate when I don''t want them. Many of my friends are thin and eat what they want, when they want it, and have little understanding for my dietary restrictions.

I''ve found that the only thing that has worked for me is to set really firm ground rules for myself. I''m on Weight Watchers, and that helps me to quantify what I can and cannot eat, and I flat refuse to eat anything that falls outside my caloric budget. It is only when I am firm with myself that I can be firm with others. Through repeated statements, requests, refusals, and explanations, people around me have adapted to my new eating patterns. My friends no longer try to coerce me to eat at restaurants that have no healthy options. My future MIL still offers food (she always will), but now takes no for an answer and never puts it on my plate without permission. My FI has started cooking healthier with me in mind and brings home only healthy snacks, and in doing so has lost several pounds himself! My explanation to him was that my willpower is at the grocery store: if it doesn''t make it into my cart, it doesn''t make it home, but if it DOES make it home, I WILL eat it.

It''s been challenging to assert myself like this, but with the support of my friends and family, I *am* losing weight, and I feel so, so much better in and about my body. Good luck to you!!

 

[choro72]

It took a while, but my FI now cooperates with my eating habits. It was so hard with all the junk food lying around the house, and I can''t hold myself back without his help. I think you should ask him to take it more seriously.

Miracle, I understand what you mean by good quality snacks! I can''t stand Hershey''s or See''s Candies. And I don''t like anything made from a box.

 

[akmiss]

OK, I have been doing really well the last couple of days

It is not so bad when healthy food is available and ready..... And my honey and kids are not bagging to eat out!
I guess the real test will be when my mother comes into town tomorrow.
I love her but she defiantly believes FOOD = L0VE and it is her motherly right to feed her grown children all sorts of good ol'' fashioned home-cooking

I guess it has helps that I am not watching the food network in the evenings.

 

[marcy]

Yippee for doing well the last few days.

Good luck with the MIL. My trick is always eat only 1/2 of something that probably isn''t too healthy for me.