How on earth do you choose a ring!?

[Juniper789.]

I'm hoping this is the right place to post this question, it seemed to be as what else is a lady in waiting to do while waiting if not drool and oggle over beautiful dreamy engagement rings!
I am having the hardest time deciding what type of ring I want, I seem to sway back and forth within a day (Or more truthfully a minute.) The second I'm set on something I see a different ring that seems amazing and so on and so forth... For the longest time I've really thought I'd wanted a thin pave band setting, it seemed classic enough and a bit special with the diamonds on the band. I never minded the plain solitare look and I do think it's so romantically traditional, but I also find alot of people have it and I just felt I wanted something a little different. Enter today: Trying to settle on carat size (Another thing to decide on!) I tried on a couple rings (both plain soltiare and pave). Low and behold I adore the simple tiffany knife edge solitare! I especially loved it with a pave wedding band. Ho hum. To add a bit more to the decision making I probably to be honest prefer white gold/platinum while my SO likes yellow gold. I don't really mind and I can see his side of yellow gold being beautiful in the traditional sense, but I just think diamonds look so much nicer in white gold. We would like to have to same colour ring just for a bit of sybolism and unity. He feels that people won't think his ring is a wedding band if it's white gold. Boys So now I'm stuck again and my mental ducks are anywhere but in a row.
I guess what I am curious to know is how did you decide what type of ring you wanted?? Did you already have a preference for a metal colour? Did you know you wanted something thicker or thinner? Why? Why did you decide on a solitare, pave or mulitple stone ring? Why a four claw or six claw?

I suppose it really would just be easier to have the guy pick it out and be done with it but as pricescope reflects I think more and more women are wanting a say as the line goes "you're the one that's going to be wearing it for the rest of your life". Plus I'm picky

Agh I know this probably isn't an issue to really be caught up in but I thought if anyone would understand it would be you lovely ladies! I guess it's just a shame we have so many amazing rings to choose from! Thanks Ladies! (And gents)

 

[amc80]

He feels that people won't think his ring is a wedding band if it's white gold.

Weird. Take him to a jewelry store and make an observation about the percentage of rings that are yellow gold versus white gold or platinum.

About how to decide...you know, I'm not sure. There are about 10 different styles I would be completely happy with. The one we are getting was the perfect compromise between what we both like (he likes rings with a lot of details, but I don't think they look good on my long, skinny fingers...we managed to find a ring that was detailed but retained the daintiness I love). I think some girls try on a ring and know it's the one, while others can be in love with several different styles, and just pick one.

As far as stone size goes, that was easy for me- I like big diamonds...so the bigger, the better. I also know I am really color sensitive, so the whiter, the better, whereas clarity isn't a huge issue. The only way to know your stone preference is to look at a lot of them. Or, if you think you will be pickier with the setting, choose a setting first.

I guess I don't have a ton of good advice, other than try rings on. That's the fun part, so go at it!

 

[Anonymous]

Try them allll on! We went to several stores together after spending a lot of time browsing online. Many people will tell you that you may think that you just LOVE setting XYZ but once it's on your finger it just doesn't do it for you. As far as how to tell? For me it was pretty easy once we found it, but pretty frustrating at times leading up to when we finally found "the one". After trying on countless rings, this was the one that I really lit up when I had it on. There wasn't anything that I could find wrong with it. I just went through the whole process again for my wedding band and I got that same "okay that's the one!" feeling. My only recommendation is to try to think ahead about what will go with it if possible.

ETA: Regarding the diamond, try to find a B&M store that has a really good selection of loose stones. Shane Co, while I wouldn't buy my stone there, they are the biggest loose diamond supplier in my area. Have specific requests when you go in. Say you want to see a half, 3/4 and 1 carat (or whatever you think your max budget will be). Find a setting that you like (doesn't have to be "the one" for this purpose) and just have them set the stone in it so you can see it on your finger. That helped us a lot. The same thing goes for color. Ask to see a G, H, I, J, K maybe even depending on your color sensitivity. That will give you an idea of how color sensitive you are. Regarding cut, you will probably have more trouble getting them to cooperate but it's good to try to get them to show you the difference between an ideal cut and a good. You won't get more than a general idea on this one but you don't really need to see more than that the idea is fantastic. Jewelry store lighting makes it much harder to see the performance difference in cut, at least I think it does.

Anyhow, HTH!

 

[karpouzi]

I know what you mean. I've been looking online for over a year and I'm open to a lot of different styles. I'm talking, anything from a round colored gemstone center with sidestones to an antique cushion diamond solitaire. I love bezels and prongs both. I love yellow gold and white metals. I like a lot of different shapes and colors of diamonds all the way to Z and beyond. Etc...

You don't sound picky at all to me, quite the opposite, and I think it's a good thing. Especially if your FF wants to pick out the ring himself! You can be happy with a lot of different styles, and that's a good thing.

For me, it's helped to look at rings for so long because over time, certain styles stick in your mind. I can't remember off the top of my head most of the rings I was interested in a year ago, but I do remember some of them vividly and I know that those are the ones I'm really, really drawn to. And those tend to be solitaires with a small twist, just enough to make them interesting, with a diamond center stone. I've realized that a colored stone center isn't really what I want for my ering because I can always have a colored stone as a RHR but I really only get one shot at a diamond, if that makes sense.

It's also helped to keep a folder of styles I like and keep adding to it and subtracting from it--over time I think this focuses you on what styles you really like the most. If one style stays in the folder the whole time, that could be the one. The ering has to pass the test of time--you should pick something you'll love years from now--so a long search helps with this if you have the time for it (and time does not seem to be a problem with most of us LIW's--I know I still have the better part of a year to keep looking!).

 

[amc80]

I was in love with a setting years ago...it was pretty standard- round with two small round side stones. Fairly classic. Then I saw a haloed pear. Completely different in every way, and I loved it just as much. Ultimately I stuck with a round, because I think I would get sick of the pear, whereas the round would hold its own over time.

 

[TwinkleStar]

I can't stress enough that you should try on a lot of different styles with differently-shaped stones, white gold/platinum v. yellow gold (ooh even rose gold to change things up?) and in all sorts of different sizes! The nice thing that happens when you go up in carat size is that it starts to look less discernable at the heavier weights.

I'm going to reference confuseddaisy's post here. Her 1.5 looks just like the 2.0 on her hand! Weird, right, you'd think it would be a more significant change: [URL='https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/i-went-ring-window-shopping.156545/']https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/i-went-ring-window-shopping.156545/[/URL]

So, try to think less of the "carat weight" per se and just see what speaks to you when you have it on your hand. The other benefit is that if you happen to decide you like something smaller than the number you have in your head, you can go up in color if you're color-sensitive or clarity for the mind-clean aspect and still stay within your budget.

Good luck, and keep us posted (with pictures) on what you decide on!

 

[Juniper789.]

Thank you ladies so so much, it really helps to hear you're not alone in the ring search saga. I'm a sentimental old fool and I just want to be sure to pick the right ring that represents us and that will last through the years. I definitely think you're all right though, trying on, trying on, and trying on seems to be the right advice, I definitely found that I had that 'this is one' moment after trying on many many many carat sizes and finding .75 was the perfect size for my finger. I suppose in that way I have decided a lot in so far as wanting a solitaire and a .75 but it's all the small details that ends up making up so much of the ring that keeps me from deciding. We have a little while before we plan on getting engaged because of some family issues that would make a proposal inappropriate at the moment but we're feeling planning the ring is important for us to feel it's coming but we just have to be patient, so I can definitely take your advice karpouzi and take time monitoring my changing taste and finding which special little ring sticks in my head and gives that yummy humanahumanahumana feeling all over. Thanks for the wedding ring advice amc80, FF currently wears a silver band on his right ring finger I gave him as a gift as a kind of commitment ring so maybe that's why he's feeling opposed to a white metal? He also has a couple of friends that wear a silver ring day to day so perhaps he's just thinking yellow gold would be distinguished as a wedding band for him. I guess I shouldn't be complaining seeming as he wants to make it clear he's married to me Still every jeweler I speak to seems to think it's not such a big deal to for us to have different metal colours so maybe I should stop dwelling on that. You're all such lovely ladies it's so nice to get such great advice from all different perspectives. I will definitely keep you updated as to what I decide and when I will get it on my finger!!!

 

[FrekeChild]

Don't sweat it. I'm talking the metal color. I don't think that a couple's metals have to match (and floating around here, you'll see that a lot of people choose very different styles/colors/etc vs their spouse's) If he wants to wear yg, that's his deal, but if he wants to, that doesn't mean you should have to too. My husband loathes yellow gold, thinks it looks tacky and so only white metal would do. Awesome, makes my life easier since I like white metals too! But if, in the future, I decide I want yg or rg, he's not going to insist that our rings match metal wise. No one pays attention to that anyway, and except for a couple of wedding photos, odds are that no one will ever notice. and yellow gold was really prevalent in the 80s and 90s, so you could (if you wanted to) argue that it's kind of an antique metal....

As for engagement ring style--that's all you. Now I suffered from this as well. My solution to the problem? I now (1 year and a couple months into marriage) have 16 engagement rings. It helps that they are all colored stones (much cheaper than dealing w/ diamonds!) but it means that I can wear whatever ring style I want to on any specific day! I have noticed that there are rings that i wear much more than others and I tend to only wear the "real" one for special occasions. Obviously most people don't do that, but it amuses my husband to no end that I do it.

Good luck!

 

[hearts-arrows_girl]

I saw a ring I loved and knew someday I would have that same style. When it was time to get my engagement ring, I was able to get almost exactly the same wedding set I had been looking at for 10 years. I have a picture from the B&M where I originally saw my "dream ring", and it matches the set I have. I was lucky, I new immediately , 15 years ago, this was the one. Otherwise I would have always been second guessing myself on whatever setting I picked. I guess you just have to look and look until one "speaks" to you. And believe me, when you find the one, you will know. Good luck and have fun with it!

 

[suchende]

I personally think it helps to keep in mind that this doesn't have to be the last piece of jewelry you ever own! You can always get pretty right-hand rings, earrings, etc with all the elements you think are pretty and interesting. Sometimes people get tunnel vision about their set, wanting it to be everything at once. I wear a diamond right-hand ring and am having a colored stone ring made right now. If anything, I would want a very simple e-ring that can't get dated-looking and use my other pieces to reflect my taste.