Home How often do you and DH "fight"

[lumpkin]

I get annoyed with him a lot. But I get annoyed with myself just as often. We are both hopelessly flawed human beings. We disagree sometimes, but we rarely all out fight. I love him very much, and I love him inspite of his and my own faults. That's true love. Being able to see your mate as he really is and still love him dearly. He must love me as well because (after 18 years of marriage) he puts up with me and still gooses me and tries to cop a feel when the kids aren't looking.

 

[door knob solitaire]

Your fight = My disagreement (no knock out/drag outs...)

Disagreements...I voted everyday. You see it doesn''t happen everyday...but if you add them all up there are at least 365 in a year. And then there is leap year that we should count too. Some days are whoppers. We might squeeze in about 10 or 15...and then go a few days in a dry spell. We are more about the balance of control. And boundaries.

I think a good marriage keeps you on your toes...without differences you''re just flat footed. I like to wear heels and want my arches to stay in condition. So on your toe disagreements = Choo, Malono, Ferragamo!!!

DKS

 

[Hera]

My therapist suggested a book (can''t remember the name at the second) about a Psychologist who was able to predict a couple''s divorce with a very high (think 90%''s) percentage. He found out there are different ways to fight, something like four. Off the top of my head there was a couple who validated each other to have a resolution( I really have a problem with you doing such and such. Yes, I understand why you feel that way) ,another couple who passionately fought, and another couple who didn''t express their anger and was more conflict avoidant. He found it didn''t really matter which argument style you had as long as you respected each other and didn''t do things like character assassinate.

My husband and I are more the conflict avoidant type. We may yell at each other, but we usually drop the subject after we have vented our opinion and come up with some sort of resolution. A fight for us might last one hour and then we''re over it with no grudges. A disagreement happens every day as we are two different people with two different views.

 

[Picos]

Fiance is very very bad at anger managment. I''m very good about being laid back, letting stuff roll off of me or ignoring someone''s words but getting the meaning. He''s only yelled/screamed maybe 3 times and it was actually before we started practically living together.

I used to feed the flame loads. He''d say something not-so-nice about the living room being a mess. I''d fire off my patented, sarcastic quips. Ding, round one! Now, I just ignore the words and listen to what he''s telling me (please, try to clean more often). And, when I''m mad at him instead of walking around the apartment, muttering to myself about whatever he did in a passive-agressive manner so that he hears, I wait for a day and tell him directly. OK, still avoidant but it''s a work in progress.

Although, if we "talk" about something while either us is playing a video-game, it makes it 100 times worse.

So, we yell/scream fight once a year and have little disagreements probably once a week. Mostly about the same things (it''s your turn to do the laundry, haha).

 

[ImpatientOne]

Well I guess I am one of the lucky ones. I can say we have only "fought" once or twice in nearly two years, and about the same amount for disagreements. We get along really well and both go out of our way to be sensitive to each other''s feelings.