How noisy is your family/home?

[kenny]

For a few days SO and I are visiting his parents who live several hours away.
His brother, wife & 2 little girls live in the back house but spend all their time with us in the front house.
Eight people in a 200 sq ft living room.
All day long the girls, ages 5 and 2, stomp around, yell, fight, dance, sing.
One TV is on in the living room, and another on in the bedroom where nobody is watching.
You can hear both throughout the small house.

What really drives me nuts more than all that is the meaningless small talk and invented little arguments.
It never ends.
Nobody can be left alone with their thoughts for 5 seconds.
Everyone talks at once ... I once heard a term for it, diarrhea of the mouth.

There are usually 3 to 4 conversations going on in the room.
People bounce between conversations mid-sentence.
It's total chaos, and everyone in the house LOOOOVES it.
It's what they are used to.
At home my SO complains our house is too quiet.
There's no life, he says.

Noise and commotion rives me nuts.
I can't tune it out.
I have drifted off to a corner with my laptop.
They don't have an Internet connection but fortunately they know the password to their neighbor's wifi connection or I'd have no refuge.

So what's your family/home like ... quiet or active and noisy?
What do you prefer?

 

[kenny]

Let me add I LOVE everyone here.
Wonderful people.

 

[CJ2008]

So quiet, you could hear a pin drop.

I love it that way.

Except for the rare occasions when we host a get-together or a holiday, then I love the noise/commotion...BUT...for a limited time...after about 3-4 hours I need to retreat...find a quiet spot or kick everyone out.

 

[monarch64]

I grew up in a huge house in the middle of a lot of wooded land. It was very VERY quiet. In fact I couldn't sleep when I moved away from home to college for weeks because of all the new noise.

Our home is moderately noisy, I would say. My husband is always singing. My daughter is always chattering/yelling/laughing/crying. My dog is intermittently barking/howling. Right now he's at band practice, she's asleep in her crib, the dog is asleep under our bed, and the house is blissfully quiet. When I work from home some days I actually turn on the radio or t.v. for "background" noise because I'm just used to it now.

 

[kenny]

Now everyone is arguing about how to brush the dog.
Use this comb.
No that one pulls the hair! Use the soft brush.

My turn. LET ME DO IT. IT'S MY TURN.

This will last an hour, then they'll move on to the next life and death drama, likely which TV channel to ignore next..

 

[monarch64]

Kenny, you like to make polls on PS. You should do a family version of the lunchtime poll from the movie "Heathers." LOL

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LQ-3rikUQ34

I mean, give them something to REALLY argue about!

 

[kenny]

Monarch, I'll have to watch that when we get home.
The internet connection here is way too too slow for a video.

 

[monarch64]

Monarch, I'll have to watch that when we get home.
The internet connection here is way too too slow for a video.

Awww. Bummer. Basically it's the "popular" chick walking around the cafeteria with a notebook taking a lunchtime poll. It's a funny movie/dark comedy.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Simple solution ....just let the girls play with your Octavia that should keep them entertain for hours...

 

[dk168]

I live on my own with the cat and the dog. Apart from them making a fuss from time to time, it is quiet except when the television or radio is on.

When I come home from work, I prefer not to have any noise except for being greeted by the pets when I walk through the door for at least an hour or so in order to chill out.

DK

 

[Dee*Jay]

Oh Kenny, I feel for you!

I grew up in a house where the TV was NEVER OFF. When I would get up in the morning it was on. When I would come home from school/work it was on. When I would go to bed at night it was STILL on.

When I moved away to go to college I discovered there could be quiet in the world. Amazing! I embraced it (with what some would call a *vengeance*). I have never owned a TV of my own and I am perfectly happy being at home or in the car with no music on.

I think I've gone too far in this direction though because when I say I like SILENCE I mean SILENCE. To what's probably an abnormal degree. A lot of noise that other people wouldn't even notice drives me CRAZY. When I was studying for the CPA exam I would often put in ear plugs and then put the Bose noise canceling headphones on too.

(One a side note, it's really interesting to drink prosecco with earplugs in. The bubbles dancing around in your mouth make an amazing noise!)

Now I am living in a place where -- my biggest personal hell -- I can hear my neighbors. The lady upstairs (who is a perfectly lovely human being as far as I can tell) gets up at 5:30 in the morning and RUNS around getting ready and her bedroom must be right above where my bed is. By 6:15 she's out the door but I am long awake by then. Her husband is only slightly less heavy footed than she is. I have come to refer to them as Sasquatch and Son of Sasquatch. (Yes, I know husband of Sasquatch would be better, but this is how it goes in my head.) I can also hear their water running as it drains from the shower due to a plumbing issue that in retrospect, had I known about it, could have been alleviated by differently configuring a wall and then insulating it, but now it would be a major project as electrical would have to be moved, the current wall demolished to remove the pocket door and then insulate, and a new wall put up with a conventional door. It may come to that. Really.

One the other side above me (my unit spans two units above) is a lady with a dog. He barks in the morning, I think when she's getting ready to take him out and he's impatient. He also has a penchant for dropping some heavy toy in the area above my couches. I am very much a dog lover and pretty much forgive him for just *being a dog* but it's a bit annoying.

I have taken to keeping the fan for the HVAC running all the time now. It first seemed ridiculously loud to me (I felt like there was 747 landing in my mechanical room), but I'm learning to ignore it.

I've also tried a white noise generator (brown noise, actually, because it is a deeper tone and I thought it would be better with the footsteps.

I sternly remind myself I Agreed To This. In exchange for getting this much awesome space in this interesting (to me) neighborhood at this price I bought real estate knowing full well there were people above me. Using logic on myself usually works. I'm very good with facts. This time... not so much.

And here is something I have not confessed to anyone in the real world... I even went to a hypnotist last weeks. She is reputed for having great success in getting relief for people who have chronic ringing in their ears (tinnictus, I think it's called?). Now, in addition to having a fan on, jumping at the drop of the dog's ball, starting angrily at the ceiling toward Sasquatch and Son of Sasquatch, I grit my teeth and chant "I'm inside my rainbow force field. The noise just bounces off of me. I don't even notice it. I just go on living my life. Because I'm in my rainbow force field." Yes. I swear to god this is true.

The more I type the more I (a) realize that I'm not doing a very good job of getting to your original point Kenny (please forgive me -- this is the first time I have said anything to anyone about how much this is making me bananas!) and (b) sound like a total fvcking lunatic. There is great temptation here to simply delete and move on, inside my magic noise deflecting rainbow force field however it feels so good to have "said" this that I think I'm going to hit submit.

Sorry Kenny for going so far afield! I do understand what you're saying about the cacophony that's your subject to right now. The people in that household probably don't register it in the least. Maybe someday they will all move out and have to get their own rainbow force field. I've got a lady I can send them too.

(EDITED multiple times for my lousy spelling. Oops.)

 

[Lady_Disdain]

My husband is always singing. My daughter is always chattering/yelling/laughing/crying. My dog is intermittently barking/howling. Right now he's at band practice, she's asleep in her crib, the dog is asleep under our bed, and the house is blissfully quiet.

For a moment, I thought the dog was at band practice

My house tends to be quiet. There might be music playing but we tend to speak rather quietly and to be gentle with things. Unless I am hammering metal, of course.

 

[CJ2008]

Oh Kenny, I feel for you!

I grew up in a house where the TV was NEVER OFF. When I would get up in the morning it was on. When I would come home from school/work it was on. When I would go to bed at night it was STILL on.

When I moved away to go to college I discovered there could be quiet in the world. Amazing! I embraced it (with what some would call a *vengeance*). I have never owned a TV of my own and I am perfectly happy being at home or in the car with no music on.

I think I've gone too far in this direction though because when I say I like SILENCE I mean SILENCE. To what's probably an abnormal degree. A lot of noise that other people wouldn't even nice drives me CRAZY. When I was studying for the CPA exam I would often put in ear plugs and then put the Bose noise canceling headphones on too.

(One a side note, it's really interesting to drink prosecco with earplugs in. The bubbles dancing around in your mouth make an amazing noise!)

Now I am living in a place where -- my biggest personal hell -- I can hear my neighbors. The lady upstairs (who is a perfectly lovely human being as far as I can tell) gets up at 5:30 in the morning and RUNS around getting ready and her bedroom must be right above where my bed is. By 6:15 she's out the door but I am long awake by then. Her husband is only slightly less heavy footed than she is. I have come to refer to them as Sasquatch and Son of Sasquatch. (Yes, I know husband of Sasquatch would be better, but this is how it goes in my head.) I can also hear their water running as it drains from the shower due to a plumbing issue that in retrospect, had I known about it, could have been alleviated by differently configuring a wall and then insulating it, but now it would be a major project as electrical would have to be moved, the current wall demolished to remove the pocket door and then insulate, and a new wall put up with a conventional door. It may come to that. Really.

One the other side above me (my unit spans two units above) is a lady with a dog. He barks in the morning, I think when she's getting ready to take him out and he's impatient. He also has a penchant for dropping some heavy toy in the area above my couches. I am very much a dog lover and pretty much forgive him for just *being a dog* but it's a bit annoying.

I have taken to keeping the fan for the HVAC running all the time now. It first seemed ridiculously loud to me (I felt like there was 747 landing in my mechanical room), but I'm learning to ignore it.

I've also tried a white noise generator (brown noise, actually, because it is a deeper tone and I thought it would be better with the footsteps.

I sternly remind myself I Agreed To This. In exchange for getting this much awesome space in this interesting (to me) neighborhood at this price I bought real estate knowing full well there were people above me. Using logic on myself usually works. I'm very good with facts. This time... not so much.

And here is something I have not confessed to anyone in the real world... I even went to a hypnotist last weeks. She is reputed for having great success in getting relief for people who have chronic ringing in their ears (tinnictus, I think it's called?). Now, in addition to having a fan on, jumping at the drop of the dog's ball, starting angrily at the ceiling toward Sasquatch and Son of Sasquatch, I grit my teeth and chant "I'm inside my rainbow force field. The noise just bounces off of me. I don't even notice it. I just go on living my life. Because I'm in my rainbow force field." Yes. I swear to god this is true.

The more I type the more I (a) realize that I'm not doing a very good job of getting to your original point Kenny (please forgive me -- this is the first time I have said anything to anyone about how much this is making me bananas!) and (b) sound like a total fvcking lunatic. There is great temptation here to simply delete and move on, inside my magic noise deflecting rainbow force field however it feels so good to have "said" this that I think I'm going to hit submit.

Sorry Kenny for going so far afield! I do understand what you're saying about the cacophony that's your subject to right now. The people in that household probably don't register it in the least. Maybe someday they will all move out and have to get their own rainbow force field. I've got a lady I can send them too.

Oh man I feel for you DeeJay!

It would drive me bananas if I couldn't have peace and quiet in my own house. I too like an "abnormal" amount of silence! I can even drive long distances (like 2.5-3 hours) and never turn on the radio.

Is there anything you can do to soundproof the ceiling or walls? It would be an investment I'm sure, but if it existed, I know I'd look into it! It would so much add to your quality of life!

(I didn't realize brown noise generators existed! We have white noise ones)

 

[Dee*Jay]

CJ, I did a gut renovation on this place. In one half I have 13' ceilings that were regular drywalled. I put on a whole 'nother layer of special drywall (called Soundbreak) and insulated in between the old drywall and the Soundbreak with this stuff called Green Glue, which is the latest and greatest thing for sound insulation.

In the other half I had the ceiling dropped 2' on channels and used 6" sound batt insulation like they use in movie theaters one top of that dropped drywall. (I didn't just do that for sound, it also hides a variety of ductwork, electrical work, plumbing pipes, etc.)

Money was not an object; I spent in excess of $25,000 (yes, really, TWENTY FIVE GRAND on these two things. I can't imagine what the sound would have been like if I had just left the old ceiling as-is.

The problem is not really noise if you get right down to it, it's reverberation, and this building was poorly constructed to begin with. I've done pretty much all I can...

Well, I *could* speak to Sasquatch and Son of Sasquatch because I don't think they have ANY idea abut this. And I was in their unit last week and saw that they hardwood floors and NO area rugs. None whatsoever. Once my kitchen renovation is done in a few weeks I'm going to offer to buy them either wall to wall carpeting with the best pad money can supply or a large area rug with a great pad in the bedroom area at least. But I don't feel like I can say anything about the sound until I'm done making noise myself. God knows they've had to deal with a ruckus coming from my unit during this entire renovation and I'm sure the kitchen will be no exception.

 

[kenny]

Poor Dee Jay. I feel for you.

About the car radio... a couple years ago I left the lights on and my car battery went dead.
That reset the radio and to get it to work again I have to enter a password.
I haven't bothered looking for it and don't miss having music in the car.
I even forgot all about it till this thread.

I love being alone quietly with my thoughts.
It's like my brain starves if it can't recharge.

I do confess to an Internet addiction though.
I'm an introvert, but 'socializing' on fora such as this one is the perfect degree of human contact for me.

 

[Dee*Jay]

My apologies to Kenny for turning your thread into my vent fest. But WHEW, I feel so much better now!

 

[kenny]

My apologies to Kenny for turning your thread into my vent fest. But WHEW, I feel so much better now!

No problem.

Hey DF, I think the girls would rather disassemble one of your watches.

 

[lyra]

We live directly on a rail line, so that is what it is, and honestly we don't notice the trains anymore. There are 20 a day, whatever. I'd love it to be quiet enough to hear a pin drop, but I settle for quiet enough to hear the clock tick. Unless there are moving lights or shadows, then the dogs get hysterically loud at night. Sigh. I am most happy in a quiet, zen atmosphere. It makes me feel more optimistic somehow.

 

[CJ2008]

I do confess to an Internet addiction though.
I'm an introvert, but 'socializing' on fora such as this one is the perfect degree of human contact for me.

I'm right there with you, Kenny!

DH makes fun of me and my having only "internet friends" for the most part

 

[Sky56]

Very quiet almost all the time.. Right now all I hear is birds tweeting outside and my clothes dryer running.

 

[Sky56]

I used to live on 3rd Ave at 52nd St in Manhattan on the 3rd floor facing the Avenue. That traffic noise I considered a personal hell. I find dead silence to be so refreshing and a requirement for my sanity. I now live in a place where virtually the only car I daily hear go by is the mailman.

 

[kenny]

Very quiet almost all the time.. Right now all I hear is birds tweeting outside and my clothes dryer running.

PARTY AT SKY'S HOUSE.

Well all just sit there, silently ignoring each other as we post to PS.

 

[distracts]

I grew up in a pretty quiet home. My roommate in the dorm freshman year of college made tons of noise constantly, as did both my suitemates. It drove me up the wall. I had SO many crying breakdowns because I had to do homework but could hear three different tv shows or somebody singing High School Musical (effing HSM omg). The next year I made sure everyone I lived with was quiet! My husband moderately noisy, but fortunately he's gone all day and asleep all night. Otherwise I would never get anything done. It's terribly annoying when he's home and watching tv, because he has to have the volume on ONE BILLION and I can hear clearly all the way across the house with earplugs in. So when he does that it's impossible for me to get anything done because I can't think at all with constant noise. I'm sure this will be really fun when we have kids. (But then, my brother and I were both quiet children!)

Like, he is right now trying to do a home improvement project he wants my help with. But the flippin' tv is on! How am I supposed to climb a ladder and concentrate with all that racket!?!!?

I do wonder if it's an introvert vs extrovert thing. I am introverted, as is most of my family (we are social introverts though, but people drain us so badly), but my husband is extroverted.

 

[Sky56]

lol! Wait till my husband comes home and either runs the big screen or plays his electric guitar.

That's why while he is at work or gone (today he went on a hike with friends) I keep the house mucho silent.

 

[JewelFreak]

City noise drives me craaaazy. I've lived in the center of Boston, Manhattan, Amsterdam, San Francisco, & the constant din really was hard to take. Garbage trucks before dawn (why do they always drop the cans on the sidewalk from 10' up?), car alarms should be banned!, drunks, in SF people hawk & spit on the street, motorcycles.

I'll never forget my first night in this house in the boonies, 10 yrs ago. Walked in the back yard to total complete silence. I thought I'd gone to heaven! The most I heard was the rustle of leaves, tree frogs, & an occasional owl call. It still is great, though development is choking us (we're moving next year to get away from it) -- now there is more car noise & party hilarity on weekends, but it's still bearable for now.

I feel for you, Kenny. Some noise & confusion is ok on a visit but when it reaches nutso-levels, it's hard to take for some of us. Others are lonely without it. Maybe it depends on what we grew up with?

--- Laurie

DJ, tough conditions too. That's why I like living in a house, having had experiences similar to yours in the past. But I love this:

it's really interesting to drink prosecco with earplugs in. The bubbles dancing around in your mouth make an amazing noise!

Made my day!

 

[Sparklelu]

Most of the time my house is pretty quiet. I teach so coming home to quiet is my goal.
When DH is home the TV is on in one room or another, or he has his Ipad playing 40's-50's music through the really cool Bluetooth BOSE headphones I got him for Christmas.
I don't usually turn the TV until after dinner. Its just DH and I now unless my DD brings over the grandkids then the place gets noisier.

I came from a very loud, energetic Italian family. We used to have large family gatherings and dinner was always a long noisy affair. Kids were playing board games or listening to radios, or our new cool 45's
Summers were spent crowded into a 2 bedroom beach rental cottage on Long Island, people sleeping on pull out couches etc. we loved it.
Even as an adult we would gather at my parents house in Southampton with all the siblings, random cousins and wives and husbands and have a blast.

My DH came from a family that rarely ate together and sat in silence as dad watched the one and only TV in the house.
As a matter of fact when my DH met my family and compared them to his he would refer to them as the "Louders" as in oh are we going to the Louders for dinner?

 

[kenny]

It's terribly annoying when he's home and watching tv, because he has to have the volume on ONE BILLION and I can hear clearly all the way across the house with earplugs in. So when he does that it's impossible for me to get anything done because I can't think at all with constant noise.

Something tells me he's going to get some of those wireless headphones for the next birthday or holiday.

 

[Sky56]

I learned the hard way to always rent apartments or buy a condo on the top floor. People stomping around on my ceiling used to drive me crazy. I now live part-time in a city in a top floor condo and I am very considerate because I know the pain. I walk softly, never slam doors and cabinets and keep the TV turned down low. No electric guitars. No kids, no parties, I am your dream upstairs neighbor.

 

[zoebartlett]

We have no kids, just 2 cats, so it's really quiet. My work day is usually pretty hectic and loud, so I kind of like the quiet when I get home. Sometimes it is a little too quiet, and I wonder what it would be like if we had kids of our own. We usually have the tv on or music playing for background noise.

My husband and I grew up in very different households. He's the youngest of 5, and there's quite an age gap between a few of his siblings and him. I'm the oldest of 2, and my sister and I have 6 years between us. We each had our own sets of friends who came over.

Growing up, my family and I always had people over. Family friends would stop by unannounced, have tea or stay for dinner, and then head home. We also had various people staying with us over the years. I loved it. It was like a revolving door. My husband's family, on the other hand, didn't have many visitors unless they were family. I'm sure because my husband has so many siblings, their household was a little chaotic, but I don't really get that sense. My husband thinks my family is crazy to open our house to others so often, especially when it's unannounced.

 

[missy]

My family makes a lot of noise. Warm and loving and everyone talks at the same time occasionally and no one keeps their feelings a secret. Totally the opposite of my dh's family. At our home it's a little bit of both. My dh cherishes peace and quiet and one of the things we love doing is just listening to ocean. Peaceful and relaxing and the kind of sound we enjoy. When I am alone I have either the radio or music playlist on or tv on. I just like having sounds when I am alone so I guess that's left over from my childhood. Whereas my dh is happy for it to be quiet.

I find that the suburbs are just as noisy as an urban environment. When we moved to our beach house in a suburban environment one thing that struck me was the noise. Either lawn mowers, gardeners, drilling etc. It was certainly lively that way. Sure urban noise is different and I do hate horns honking in the city but the train rumblings etc you get used to. Though studies show that noise adversely affects us in ways we don't realize. Blood pressure goes up for one, anxiety levels etc. So even without us realizing "bad" noises affect our health.