How my parents lost 20k on my wedding reception...

[Lanie]

This is long...sorry...

My parents paid cash for my wedding reception for July 2009. They got a huge discount if they paid the majority of it in cash. Well, to make a long story short, the reception site and it''s parent company are BANKRUPT. It is here in Houston and was all over the news last night. Some people paid with a credit card, and they may get their money back but who knows.

I am absolutely sick to my stomach over this. Assuming we don''t get any money back, we are having to scale down our reception BIG TIME. We originally had 320 guests...now we''re trimming it to about 120. My parents are telling me not to worry about it, but I was up all night feeling horrible that my father is now going to have to pay for 2 receptions, one of which we can''t even have!

Basically the reception site was ruined by the hurricane, and the speculation is that they didn''t have insurance, and therefore couldn''t pay for the damages, so they decided to declare bankruptcy and just take off. This was a reputable company from what I could tell (I researched the hee haw out of it), and they''ve been around for many years. My fiance has been to weddings that this same company catered and loved it. So we decided to go with it.

Before anyone asks, NO I did not get wedding insurance. I hadn''t really heard of it, and now it''s one of my biggest regrets. We''re looking into getting a bankruptcy lawyer, but honestly, we will be at the bottom of the list of people they will be paying. They supposedly owe lots in back taxes, rent, and many other angry vendors of theirs. Not to mention that they probably haven''t paid their employees in awhile.

There are countless Houston brides out there in my same position, who have lost lots of money and now have to figure out something else to do. Many other reception sites are hearing about it and are offering discounts, but frankly, it''s still going to sting financially even with a large discount.

I just had to vent to you guys. We don''t want my parents to shell out any more money. We''re considering lots of options on how to have an inexpensive wedding, but now my dream wedding is shattered. It was supposed to be a very formal, very large reception, and now it''s looking like BBQ and beer at the VFW.

There are not words to describe how I''m feeling right now.

 

[LaraOnline]

Oh shizen that is really bad news.
I feel so sorry for you, and so very sorry for your folks, too.
Geez, that must be a whole lot of bad karma you and both your parents have just paid for and set right, just there. All set for a fantastic next twenty years then!
Sorrie Lanie, chin up. You''ll still have a fabulous time, getting married and being married is really great. Specially when it''s with the right guy.

L.

 

[lliang_chi]

Lanie,

I''m so sorry to hear this. I don''t have any advice to offer you, but I''m keeping my fingers crossed for you. I feel really bad for you and your parents, but you and your family should keep thinking about the positive so you can stay positive. Let other people work on resolving this issue. It''ll only dampen your spirits more if you get involved.

 

[Shoopy]

So what if it’s a BBQ and beer!

The end goal is to get married to the person that you love. If that means it’s in a Vera Wang in a Ritz Carlton or a DB dress in your mother’s backyard, it doesn’t matter. I’m sorry your family lost money and that you are crushed but don’t discount the beauty of a wedding that is scaled down. Your day will be beautiful regardless. You will be beautiful. And you will be surrounded by people you love.

I would go through with the bankruptcy lawyer but as you said, all of the brides would be the last to get their money back. Maybe you can go with a second choice venue? How much more are your parents willing to pay for a second reception?

 

[Lanie]

You are right fieryred. I didn''t mean to discount a scaled down reception. That is not the intent at all. But when you are planning for a reception that fits your personality and your budget perfectly, and then that''s suddenly taken from you, it''s VERY upsetting. It''s not what we dreamed of at all.

I''ve been to many receptions with nachos and fajitas and beer, and had the best time. But we have paid for and expected a lavash reception, and it''s not going to happen. And when I start to think of what my wedding photos are going to look like, I start to tear up. I don''t want to think of how much more money my father is willing to plunck down. He shouldn''t have to pay a dime more. It''s not often that someone loses this much money overnight, so my anger is riding over my reasonability right now.

I am trying to focus on the positive. My fiance and I have our health, and we are very happy and in love. Our families are behind us a million percent. We are still going to get married no matter what. We will make it work no matter what. I just wanted to let you guys know what was happening and maybe see if anyone else is in this same boat, and what they did to make things work.

 

[pocahontas]

Lanie, I''m so sorry you, your FI and family are having to deal with this huge disappointment and financial blow. It sucks, period ((((HUGS)))) I''m not going to tell you to remain positive and to consider how fortunate you are because I beleive you already know these things. Right now you''re devasted and I think most people would feel the same in a similar situation. Okay that said, I''m going to put my thinking cap on...I know you''ve mentioned scaling down the numbers to about 120 ppl. I''m wondering how many of those are immediate family and close friends. Let''s say that number is 70, can you have a lavish, but intimate reception for those people followed by something much lower key for the remaining 50 guests. I''m totally guessing at these numbers, but you get the idea. This way you''d get the best of both worlds.

 

[pjean]

Oh, Lanie! I''m so sorry to hear about this. You''re right - that''s a heck of a lot of money to lose all at once.

 

[bootsiekin]

I am so sorry! I can say I know exactly how you feel...

My wedding is in 2.5 weeks, and in the end of June my reception venue also went out of business! I was really upset because it was a microbrewery and we were totally into this theme, even with engraved beer mugs for our wedding party. Visions of the cocktail hour out on the deck... I called everywhere and could only find one place available with the 3 months notice, and now we are stuck in the "small room" at a hotel. My mom didn''t lose nearly as much money as your parents, but I also know how horrible it is to have chosen the perfect venue and then have it taken away. But think of it this way, there are much worse things that could happen!

 

[dreaming of the day]

Oh I am so sorry to hear that, what terrible news. I know it is so difficult right now, but you sound very positive in your OP - you will have a fabulous wedding to the man of your dreams, just not where you originally planned. I wish you the best of luck with your planning and if you need any help just call out to us and we will help you how we can.

 

[Lanie]

Sorry to hear about your reception as well Bootsiekin. While we were signing the contract I remember thinking, "The worst that could happen that could postpone the reception would be a death in the family". So yes, there are worse things. It would be even worse if the wedding was called off because of a breakup! So I''m counting my blessings. Thank you for your kind words, and everyone else''s kind words.

MAKE SURE YOU GET WEDDING INSURANCE LADIES! YOU NEVER KNOW!

 

[kama_s]

OMG no way. That''s absolutely horrible, I cant believe they wouldl be so deceitful. Sounds like they knew they were heading towards bankruptcy, which is why they asked your parents to pay in cash. But seriously, never EVER pay anything so big in cash...even if it saves you money. It''s not worth the risk. I learnt it the hard way too.

I''m so sorry...I really hope you can find something else with your new budget. That said, in the end, you''re going to be the happiest person on earth on your wedding day, even if the weding is not what you really wanted. I promise, it wouldn''t take away from that wonderful feeling of being formally committed to your special boy

 

[calidaisy]

OMG ... i''m so-o sorry.
i feel sick to the stomach by just reading your story.

i hope and pray that you can find something equally nice and be able to have your dream wedding at a bargain price.
if you need any help with cutting the cost in other areas to make up for your loss, we can definitely help.

 

[neatfreak]

Oh Lanie, I am so sorry to hear that. A similar thing happened where I live (obviously on a MUCH smaller scale) when a long time wedding dress store went under and bankrupt. I really hope that there is some way to collect the money your parents laid out, but just remember that it isn''t your fault and you couldn''t have predicted it.

 

[Sabine]

Oh that stinks! Just wanted to send some hopeful vibes your way that things will find a way to work out in a way that you are happy with!

 

[swimmer]

OH that really really sucks.

Two weeks before my friend''s wedding she called me in hysterical tears and said "the worst possible thing just happened, come here now." So my mind was racing while racing to her place, did her FI leave, was the wedding off, was someone sick, dead? I got there and their apt had been broken into and her wedding band and his had been stolen.
I almost cried with relief and called the cops. When dealing with all wedding stuff, I just remember that panic racing in my mind and eventually it helped to contextualize whatever was upsetting me. Your upset is HUGE, you need some time to vent, but then you will figure something out and it will be marvelous.
hugs!

 

[honey22]

Sweetie - that''s terrible news, you wouldn''t even dream it would you?! Fingers crossed that you and your parents can recover some costs and plan a beautiful (albeit smaller) wedding. Sending you lots of get-your-money-back dust!

 

[ChargerGrrl]

WOW Lanie, that just sucks.

Sending you good-luck PS dust for future planning!

 

[TravelingGal]

That is a serious bummer.

When I was looking at venues, I was really horrified at some of the deposits required...and I wasn''t even thinking about the bankrupt issue (more like, what if I want to bolt!) The whole thing seems crooked. Yes, a deposit should be required but thousands of dollars so far in advance with some places making it non refundable? No thanks.

I had my reception at a restaurant and it was lovely (we had the entire ocean front restaurant). A $500 deposit with the rest due the day of the wedding...I could put it on credit card like a normal restaurant meal. I thought that was pretty gutsy of them (because what if you can''t pay?) I figure it''s only time before they change their policy but boy did I think this was great. And the best part was if you cancel, they''d give your deposit back in the form of a credit to use at the restaurant, so you''re not even really out that money.

Hope it works out for you!

 

[modernsparkler]

I am so sorry

I can only imagine how upsetting this must be. I hope that something works out and something good can come of this. The good news is that you have 9+ months to plan and although it may not be your original plan- it can still be an amazing wedding. Good luck and let us know if you need help!

 

[oobiecoo]

I''m sooo sorry! That is a LOT of money. Maybe some other Houston brides can give you some elegant but beautiful lower budget venue suggestions? My dad''s friend owns a B&B there and he does weddings.

 

[Elmorton]

Lanie, my heart goes out to you!!

Our florist went bankrupt and we received notice via mail a few months before the wedding - I don''t mention this to say that my experience was on the same scale as yours, but only to say that in the case of bankruptcy, the good news is that there should be a pack of lawyers involved and proper procedures to follow. In our case, the lawyers handling the bankruptcy sent us letters so we could be part of the suit/settlement/whatnot. It was only $250 that we lost, so my parents basically decided it wasn''t worth their time to fill out paperwork. The owner of the business should be able to get you in contact with his or her lawyers (if they don''t contact you first - or you may be able to access this info by talking to the state) and perhaps you can get some, if not all, of your money back. Of course it''s a giant PITA and no fun, but maybe not all is lost. I''m holding out hope that you can still have the wedding reception of your dreams!!

 

[Harleigh]

Lanie,

I am so sorry to hear this...unfortunately, I think we''re going to hear a lot more stories like this with our economy taking a plunge.

Please try to hang in there...a lot of the gals here have given you good advice as to how to try to make it work...I wish there was something I could add, but I just wanted to let you know I was sending big hugs your way. So sorry...

 

[HollyS]

Well, you''re right. The whole ''high-tail it outta there'' by the company is crappy to say the least. And certainly, losing money already spent is a big bummer. However, if they suffered considerable damage and had to rebuild their business, you may have been a casualty of their need to regroup anyway.

There are some positives to focus on:

You are a summer 2009 bride, and your wedding is not so close that you don''t have time to plan a great reception somewhere else. Think of the poor brides who have fall/winter weddings this year, and are now scrambling to figure out what to do.

You sound like you, and your parents, came through Ike just fine -- or with minimal impact. What a blessing that is.

I know that right now you''re feeling angry for the loss of money, and because you had the venue problem solved. And that''s okay. But look forward, not back. You still have time to plan a lovely wedding reception.

 

[miraclesrule]

Lanie,

This sucks in a big way. It was reprehensively irreponsible for the venue to not have had customary business interruption and property insurance. It sounds like they were a respectable large successful venue and therefore there is no excuse....at all.

It breaks my heart that you have to deal with this situation and 20K is a lot of money to lose in such a manner. It was highly negligent on their part not to have had proper insurance coverage. As an insurance risk manager I can tell you that I see this a lot with some companies who make the informed choice to decline proper coverage merely because they choose to reap the addiitonal revenue by forging the expense....which is often at the expense of their patronage and clientele.

I really hope that you and your parents are able to recoup some of the money. It sounds like you are already in continguency planning mode (unlike your venue), and are exploring your options. I am so sorry that had to happen to you.

I do believe that the small premiums for wedding insurance are well worth the cost and "sleep factor" to ensure that it doesn't happen to anyone else and that was sound advice for other brides to be.

Hugs to you. Your outrage and disappointment are understandable as well as warranted. Good luck. This just really sucks.

 

[Sparkalicious]

Lanie - I''m sorry, I have no words of wisdom to share.
I just wanted to say that I''m sorry that you and your family are having to go through this and I hope that although it may not come packaged the way that you thought initially, that you will still enjoy your dream wedding next summer.

I know nothing about wedding insurance either so thank you for sharing and making those of us not in the know, a little bit wiser!

 

[allycat0303]

Ok, we all know that a wedding is not about the party and so on, but honestly, I would be CRUSHED. Seriously devestated. It''s a HUGGE amount of money for your parents and I can''t imagine how they feel. Have you thought of having any legal measures? It seems to me that there has to be some recourse of action. I am really sorry to hear this. Keep us updated!

 

[icekid]

Wow, that is definitely painful. A sign of our tough economic times, I guess. I wish you didn''t have to pay for it with your wedding though

I know you''re devastated... and need some time to get over the shock, but I bet your wedding will still be a memorable, amazing day even if scaled back and different from your original vision. Hang in there!

 

[iheartscience]

Wow. That is terrible. I''m sorry! I hope you can love your wedding anyways!

 

[Italiahaircolor]

Oh Lanie, I am so sorry...

I will keep you, and your wedding plans, in my thoughts and prayers....

 

[VRBeauty]

I am so sorry that you and your parents are going through this.