How much do these headline writers get paid?

[Madam Bijoux]

Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter

(The paper put in a correction the next day.)
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

No, really? Ya think?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

Now that''s taking things a bit far!

-----------------------------------------------------------

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

What a guy!

---------------------------------------------------------------

Miners Refuse to Work after Death

No-good-for-nothing'' lazy so-and-so''s!

------------------------------------------------------

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

See if that works any better than a fair trial!

----------------------------------------------------------

War Dims Hope for Peace

(It might have that effect.)

----------------------------------------------------------------

If Strike Isn''t Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile

Ya think?!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

(Who''d a thunk it?)

----------------------------------------------------------------

Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

They may be on to something!

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges

You mean there''s something stronger than duct tape?


----------------------------------------------------------

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge

He probably IS the battery charge!

----------------------------------------------

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

Weren''t they fat enough?!

-----------------------------------------------

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

That''s what he gets for eating those beans!

-------------------------------------------------

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

Do they taste like chicken?
****************************************

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

Chainsaw Massacre all over again!

***************************************************

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

Boy, are they tall!

*******************************************

And the winner is....

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

Did I read that right?

***************************************************

 

[Irishgrrrl]

ROFL! Madam, thanks for posting this! Too funny!!!

 

[tlh]

HA! Where is the knee slapping emotie?

 

[Clairitek]

MB- are the comments under the headlines yours?

This is so funny. Thanks for posting.

 

[Madam Bijoux]

Hi, Clairitek.

The comments under the headlines aren''t mine - I got them in an e-mail from a friend.

 

[Lorelei]

I know, they really make you wonder.....

 

[Diamond*Dana]

Lol, those are pretty funny!

 

[Definitely. Maybe]

hahaha these are great! I love watching when Jay Leno (i think?) does the funny ads. Thanks for the laugh!

 

[Steel]

Funny!

Thanks for the giggle.

 

[DiamanteBlu]

ROTFL!

 

[Brown.Eyed.Girl]

LMAO!

 

[packrat]

hahahaha those are funny! I''ve gotten that email a couple times but it always makes me laugh! It does remind me of Jay Leno''s headlines! I always got a kick out of the headlines and the married names.