How Much Cash Do You Give As A Wedding Gift?

[AGBF]

How much cash do you give as a wedding gift if you decide to give cash? This article certainly reflected a question I frequently have!

Link...http://www.nytimes.com/2016/01/03/fashion/weddings/wedding-gift-cash-grab-whats-too-little-whats-too-much.html?rref=collection%2Fcolumn%2Ffield-notes&action=click&contentCollection=style&region=stream&module=stream_unit&version=latest&contentPlacement=1&pgtype=collection

Deb

 

[kenny]

Zero.
I don't do weddings.

But give whatever you like.

 

[Queenie60]

I usually purchase a gift from their gift registry. However, this past year a couple was married - we don't know them well however, they are involved in an activity (cross fit) that we participate in. It's a tight knit group so my husband and I decided to give them a wedding gift even though we weren't invited to their wedding. When I went to their wedding website, they were asking for cash. We gifted them $200 as they are using the funds for their new home. I like to help out with the responsible, young couples who are in my opinion, making wise choices (eg - using funds to fix up their fixer upper house). I suppose it depends on their relationship to you.

 

[Asscherhalo_lover]

I have given as little as $50 (I went without my husband and had to travel quite a bit for the wedding) and as much as $500 (they had a court wedding and we weren't even invited but we are very good friends). I'm from NY so unless it's a different custom for the couple I always give a check. Average is more around $250 if I'm going with DH.

 

[Gypsy]

Depends where you are in NJ/NY there is this ridiculous thing called "cover your plate." I opt out except for family. It pisses me of. I get them a nice picture frame, or a vase, or something instead.

If it's close (nieces, first cousins) we give 4400.

If it's not close, I use the registry. If someone requests cash (politely not on an invite) I will gift the amount I can afford and feel is appropriate for the relationship.

 

[stracci2000]

I don't give cash. I buy a useful gift for the house/kitchen. I like to shop local galleries for artisan pottery or glass. Something like a salad set, coffee mug set, serving bowl. etc. Support your local artists!

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Depends where you are in NJ/NY there is this ridiculous thing called "cover your plate." I opt out except for family. It pisses me of. I get them a nice picture frame, or a vase, or something instead.

If it's close (nieces, first cousins) we give 4400.

If it's not close, I use the registry. If someone requests cash (politely not on an invite) I will gift the amount I can afford and feel is appropriate for the relationship.

I hope you meant $400?

 

[PintoBean]

I used to aim to cover the plate. But you know what, same venue, couple could opt for different dining packages.

We give what we can afford. The bride and groom should not be spending more than they can afford for the wedding. I've heard of couples divorcing and still paying off their wedding! They shouldn't be counting on guests covering their plates.

For the last wedding we went to - novemberish, we were a bit more strapped for cash than usual with the multiple family birthdays and the holidays. I ended up buying about $300 worth of bed bath and beyond items off the registry, but was able to use my 20% off and $15 off coupons to save a bundle, so I paid less than $300 .

We gift $200-$300 nowadays in cash. If I don't go to the wedding, I will gift $50 or $100 as a gift, depending on how close I am to the couple.

At my wedding, friends our age gifted a low of $100 per couple. The gifts went to a high of $600 per couple and that was from my aunties and uncles, my dad's first cousins he grew up in the same home with. The gifts went up in $$ as the gifters went up in age, especially if they are still working and their kids are working. My mother told all her guests that $$ gifts were not necessary. She wanted the guests to come to party, not come to get in debt.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

There are differences in what part of the country you live in. In the south, the cost of living is generally lower and the gifts are as well. I'd say $100 is average in our area. I'd say most gifts begin at $50+, family and close friends might get $100 or more. Gifts are given more often than cash. The highest cash gift my daughter got when she got married was $200 (from a guest). The only time I have ever given cash was when a co-worker had a honeymoon registry since they already had most of their household items in their 30's.

 

[Gypsy]

Depends where you are in NJ/NY there is this ridiculous thing called "cover your plate." I opt out except for family. It pisses me of. I get them a nice picture frame, or a vase, or something instead.

If it's close (nieces, first cousins) we give 4400.

If it's not close, I use the registry. If someone requests cash (politely not on an invite) I will gift the amount I can afford and feel is appropriate for the relationship.

I hope you meant $400?

Yes. I definitely meant 400.

 

[dk168]

It depends on the setting, whether I am invited for the whole thing or just the evening reception, and whether there is a wedding present or not, and how well I know the bride and/or groom and/or their parents.

It ranges from 20 GBP to well over 50 GBP.

IMHO, it needs to cover at least the meal, as my parents taught me.

DK

 

[chemgirl]

I used to do the cover your plate thing, but the last few weddings we attended were at venues where the cost would have been $150-200 per person.

Sorry, but that's just extravagant and I don't feel obligated to pay that much for a dinner I would never choose for myself.

So we have started gifting around $200 per wedding. If people spend more than that on the meal it's not my problem.

One girl at work had a bit of sticker shock when the rest of us were talking gifts. She always thought $20 for a shower gift and $30-50 for a wedding gift. That's fine of course, just taking the time to go is enough.

The week my sister was married there was a thing going around Facebook about a bride who freaked out because she received a basket with gummy candies and other snacks as a wedding gift. My sister received about 10 pounds of gummy worms from different people and loved it.

 

[packrat]

We give what we can afford, regardless who it is. We had NO money when my brother got married. I gave them my ginormous computer desk. He knew we didn't have much at the time, and he also knew (knows) how important he is to me, and that if I could give him the world, I would. A friend's daughter got married last year-we were invited and couldn't make it-we gave them $50.

ETA ohhh chemgirl your sister sounds like so much fun! I love gummy worms.

 

[nala]

I give what they gave me. Not gonna lie. If people showed up to my wedding with 25 bucks, they or their kids will get the same amount, adjusting for inflation. If they consider that amount a good gift BC they gave it to me, I reciprocate. I wouldn't want to make them uncomfortable by throwing my money around. And if I don't get invited, I don't give them anything BC I know it will not be missed, just like my presence won't be missed as well.

 

[AGBF]

Like many of the other posters, I never used to give cash as a wedding gift. (I shouldn't say, "never". I should say, "rarely". I did give gifts of $1,000.00 to my godson and to my niece when they got married, but they were very exceptional cases, people who were very important in my life. I have always preferred to give a place setting of china or some other gift. And the gifts were not worth anywhere near $1,000.00 in cost.)

What has changed my point of view, perhaps forever, is having to return an enormous amount of china that I bought; had gift wrapped and mailed at my expense; and then had returned to me because a wedding was cancelled at the last minute. I had to return the china myself in person, and there was a lot of it because I was very close to mother of the groom and generous with my gift. (Although it was her son's second wedding, it was supposed to be the bride's first wedding.)

As I stood in the store as each piece was unwrapped and inventoried, I kicked myself for not giving an envelope of cash at the reception! The people who had planned to do that were not inconvenienced at all! But I had wanted to give a more traditional gift. I vowed never to give anything but cash again! I do not know if I will stick to that.

 

[chemgirl]

We started giving cash because we know that's what most of our friends prefer.

They are mostly in their 30's and already have houses and stuff. They usually do register for some things, but the understanding is that the registry is for grandparents or anyone else who would feel uncomfortable giving cash.

 

[Rockinruby]

I used to never give cash as a gift. However, a family member wanted cash for their wedding. We were told they wanted cash to go towards a new home/down payment. We gave them $500 for their wedding a year ago. They didn't get a house, but they did get a divorce that was finalized last month.

 

[missy]

The wedding is about the couple so we always give what the couple would prefer and in 10/10 weddings (for us) that is cash. I don't know any newlywed couple who would not prefer cash so that is what we happily give. In NYC the general amount (in our social circles) is $150-200 per person. So we give b/w $300-400. For my sister I gave $1000 when she got married over 10 years ago because she is my sister. Closer friends get $500 from us. Of course most of my friends are already long married and we have not had many weddings to go to in the past decade. But this is what we have given and what we will give should any other friends get married.

 

[chemgirl]

The wedding is about the couple so we always give what the couple would prefer and in 10/10 weddings (for us) that is cash. I don't know any newlywed couple who would not prefer cash so that is what we happily give. In NYC the general amount (in our social circles) is $150-200 per person. So we give b/w $300-400. For my sister I gave $1000 when she got married over 10 years ago because she is my sister. Closer friends get $500 from us. Of course most of my friends are already long married and we have not had many weddings to go to in the past decade. But this is what we have given and what we will give should any other friends get married.

I didn't think about number of weddings until reading your post. I think part of my attitude about not necessarily covering the plate comes from the fact that we are invited to so many weddings. If it were one or two per year I could see gifting more. Last year we were invited to 16 weddings so the cost starts to add up. Most have been far enough away that we have to get a hotel so in the end being a guest is expensive.

I can't wait for the last of our friends to get married so the parade of weddings can end (provided they stay married).

 

[Tekate]

A friends child: 150.00$
Family: 350.00$
If I don't feel close to the couple I give off the registry.

It would be so nice to go back to the old style wedding.. of course I like more natural as I"m a 70s girl.. today, to me, many girls look tawdry, like some kardashian wedding.. one of the nicest dresses I have ever seen was on Ivanka Trump .. that girl has class (not her father mind you but she does). (also she is a billionaire so I'm sure the dress costs thousands but it just had a real touch of sophistication that I'm sure could be recreated more inexpensively)..

sorry I digressed

 

[missy]

The wedding is about the couple so we always give what the couple would prefer and in 10/10 weddings (for us) that is cash. I don't know any newlywed couple who would not prefer cash so that is what we happily give. In NYC the general amount (in our social circles) is $150-200 per person. So we give b/w $300-400. For my sister I gave $1000 when she got married over 10 years ago because she is my sister. Closer friends get $500 from us. Of course most of my friends are already long married and we have not had many weddings to go to in the past decade. But this is what we have given and what we will give should any other friends get married.

I didn't think about number of weddings until reading your post. I think part of my attitude about not necessarily covering the plate comes from the fact that we are invited to so many weddings. If it were one or two per year I could see gifting more. Last year we were invited to 16 weddings so the cost starts to add up. Most have been far enough away that we have to get a hotel so in the end being a guest is expensive.

I can't wait for the last of our friends to get married so the parade of weddings can end (provided they stay married).

Chemgirl, that's a lot of weddings and I can see where it would be crazy to give so much money when you have 16 weddings in one year! I don't know what we would have done if we had so many so close together like that. I am guessing we would not have been able to attend them all and in that case we would have sent a more modest gift to the happy couples. Though I usually send as much even if we don't attend but again we have never had that many in one year!

 

[baby monster]

I always give cash and the amount depends on how close we are to bride and groom. Usually 200-500. To be honest, we declined the last few invites because we just didn't feel like we had close enough relationships with couples to attend their weddings. There is no way I'd go to 16 weddings in a year - most of those invites would get regrets.

 

[momhappy]

I think it depends on a number of things - location, venue, relationship to the bride & groom, etc.

 

[ckrickett]

Its weird. I usually try to get gifts rather than cash. my DH and I have a standard gift we give close friends and Family for weddings which is a Cutco knife set (around $900) However when we give cash it is around 300-500$ depending on the relationship. I have been invited to weddings where I barely knew the person and I figured they were just inviting me for the gift, so in those instances I either gift $100 or find something of equal value of the registry. Even if they were just inviting for a gift it still cost THEM money to have me, so I want to be as generous as I can afford too.

 

[ckrickett]

My sister is getting Married in a week, on top of the Knife set We got her a $200 Hot Water Boiler and I will probably give them some cash for their honeymoon ($50-$100)

 

[Abby12]

Anywhere between 200-500$ depending on how close I am to them. If I was a couple it could be more.....

 

[telephone89]

I'm surprised that people base it off how much they think the couple spent You don't know how much they spent (unless they are so horrifically rude and demand the cover your plate), so I don't think that should be a factor. I would not give less to someone doing a backyard wedding than a hotel ballroom wedding. I base it off my relationship with the couple and financial means at the time. I try to give a minimum of $100. I also don't usually attend the showers. For my close friends, we are more generous, usually $3-500. I don't give to honeyfunds or GFM, and have no problems sending a cheque. Everyone (I know) likes cash as a gift.

 

[wildcat03]

I generally give $100 if it's just me, $200 if I'm bringing a date. I usually look up the couple's registries and find which one has the most unpurchased items on it and buy a gift card from there. My logic is that most places offer a registry completion discount, so the couple can purchase more for the $200 I gift than they could if I went and spent $200.

My SO and I have started considering venues and our top choice is fairly pricey (thus we are thinking of a very small wedding). I would be mortified if any of our guests felt they HAD to "cover their plate" in their gift to us.