How many years were you married/committed before upgrade?

[rubybeth]

I am curious about how long most PSers were married before they upgraded their engagement rings (or if you weren't able to legally marry for whatever reason, but were committed with a ring of some type).

I know upgraded rings are not the "norm" in most countries, and many regions of the US it would be very uncommon (I'm in the midwest so don't hear about upgrades very often, and many women don't even wear their engagement rings after a certain amount of time being married).

I also know that upgrading is a very personal choice. I think this poll could be helpful for those young ladies who are recently engaged with smaller stones who come to PS and see a lot of big rocks, and may feel on the shy side about their lovely smaller stones. Many of us have waited many, many years before getting larger stones.

If you have a story to share, I'd also love to hear it!

I'll share mine: I'll be getting my upgrade likely before our 8th anniversary but I just bought the center diamond and we'll be celebrating 7 years in August (married 8/8/200. The number 8 seems especially good for me. DH gave me the go-ahead to purchase the stone second-hand, but I'm going to wait to re-set and wear it regularly until after he's done with grad school next spring and gets his first professional job. So I'm especially rooting for that to happen quickly, so I can wear my sparkly!

 

[Rhea]

Re: How many years were you married/committed before upgrade

9 years married, 10.5 since getting engagement ring and no upgrade. I do have the freedom and ability to wear different rings and often do but they aren't upgrades so much as various bands I've picked up. Today I'm wearing 3 bands in 9 carat gold - rose, white and yellow, stacked together. I bought them from a pawn shop the other day and they're really light weight so they were cheap!

 

[tyty333]

Re: How many years were you married/committed before upgrade

Still no upgrade after 16 years . I dont think my DH agrees with them so I have to buy other jewelry items instead. We didn't
get married until we were "older" so I never had a small ring due to no-money or just being out of school. I know small is
relative but, my 1.08 pear is on the larger size for where we live. Would I like larger...well sure! But there are other things
that I want too so I'll be happy with getting those things.

 

[ame]

Re: How many years were you married/committed before upgrade

My upgrade only happened because my rings were stolen. We did not plan to upgrade. I was looking for the same thing I had, but we both really liked this stone, a .30 upgrade from what I had, and even though it was more than I had planned to spend (I was really trying to stick to a number in my head) we went for it. It happened not long after my 4th anniversary. We had planned originally to do it if we were financially well off at our 10th, like make a 3 stone or wait many more years and make the center a side stone for a honker. But obviously that didn't happen.

Part of my "gift" for our 10th this year was a Kwiat band that I got as a STEAL but had that not happened was going to be a fishtail pave band from BGD. The steal literally fell in my lap. We are also getting my rubies set that I bought like 8 years ago at a gem show. I STILL have not freaking decided if I want a DBTY style with rubies alternating or a Jazz style ring with the alternated large bezels as the rubies and smaller diamonds between. Just when I think I am "decided" I get a little pull back from the ledge and I am back to debating. I am considering holding one ruby back and setting it on it's own in a ring and putting the others in a necklace but budgetarily that isn't ideal.

 

[luv2sparkle]

Re: How many years were you married/committed before upgrade

1st upgrade at 5 years. I don't really consider this an upgrade though because I really hated the first ring I had. Never ever liked it even a teeny bit. Second upgrade, 29 years in.

 

[Niel]

Re: How many years were you married/committed before upgrade

I changed my ring before we were married!

Not like he picked out the wrong ring, I did, I guess. It wasn't "bad" but it didn't perform the way I wanted. He proposed with that ring and I think I got my new ring completed within 6 months of that.

 

[junebug17]

Re: How many years were you married/committed before upgrade

1st upgrade was at 25 years, a one carat diamond and a few years later a 1.96 OEC.

 

[canuk-gal]

Re: How many years were you married/committed before upgrade

HI:

For 20th anniversary, but finding something I wanted took a year. So 21 years.

cheers--Sharon

 

[partgypsy]

Re: How many years were you married/committed before upgrade

About 9 years in. My original was lost. Upgrade/anniversary ring around 9 years after getting married.

 

[missy]

Re: How many years were you married/committed before upgrade

LOL within the first (few?) month(s).

 

[distracts]

Re: How many years were you married/committed before upgrade

I kind of wonder how much people don't know anyone who "upgrades" solely because of the terminology. I don't know that I know anyone irl who has "upgraded," but I know a TON of people who have multiple big anniversary rings that they may wear instead of their original engagement ring.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Re: How many years were you married/committed before upgrade

Years???. Some of the gals here upgraded before they "walk down the aisle"...

 

[bbziggy]

Re: How many years were you married/committed before upgrade

After 25 years which really turned to be 28 years until we actually got around to researching the project ! 30 years to its final resting place which happened this morning

 

[jaysonsmom]

Re: How many years were you married/committed before upgrade

Years???. Some of the gals here upgraded before they "walk down the aisle"...

That's me! I went into the same jeweler where we got my engagement ring 0.81 ct RB, to look at some diamond wedding bands a couple months before the wedding (1 year after proposal), and I walked out with an upgraded 1.25 ct princess cut e-ring instead, and no budget for a wedding band. I upgraded again to 1.81ct RB at my 10 year anniversary, and I'm pretty content with this size. I don't think I want anything bigger for everyday wear. however, I'm not opposed to a giant 3+ carat emerald cut or cushion cut for future big anniversary!

 

[marcy]

Re: How many years were you married/committed before upgrade

Mine was 16 years. Then I have upgraded the diamond 3 times plus gone through 3 rings and 6 bands including the one Whiteflash is making for me now. The diamond I have currently will not be upgraded. Rings and bands those are always subject to change.

 

[mochiko42]

Re: How many years were you married/committed before upgrade

Umm... I didn't officially swap my ering until 1 year mark, but it really began with the 7-month itch, when I started looking at stones. I think it was because I didn't know what I wanted when I got my first ering (it was when I first joined PS and didn't know very much about what I liked in rings).

 

[missy]

Re: How many years were you married/committed before upgrade

Years???. Some of the gals here upgraded before they "walk down the aisle"...

LOL within the first (few?) month(s).

Haha you are right DF. While I got married with the original ER my dh (the FI) and I had spoken about my changing the ring almost immediately after he proposed. And he agreed but we didn't want to rush into the next purchase so put it off till after the wedding and honeymoon. LOL I think I waited a day to tell him I didn't love the ring. At least we have an open communicating relationship. That's a good thing isn't it? It's always worked for us.

 

[Laila619]

Re: How many years were you married/committed before upgrade

Hi,

Married November 2008, and upgraded September 2009, so less than a year. However, I didn't end up keeping that upgrade diamond for long. I sold it after a couple years. It was a bad decision to upgrade in retrospect (kids started coming along and it was too much money to spend).

 

[UrsTx]

Re: How many years were you married/committed before upgrade

Original ERing was a three stone setting with a .36ct round center diamond. It's now a pendent.
5yr anniv - bought/upgraded to a 1ct cushion (he got an Omega watch).
10 yr anniv - traded/upgraded to a 2.23ct round (he got a Brietling watch).
...am not sure I can wait 3 more yrs for 15 yr anniversary...DSS setting in after my BGD visit

 

[Dancing Fire]

Re: How many years were you married/committed before upgrade

[quote="missy|

Haha you are right DF. While I got married with the original ER my dh (the FI) and I had spoken about my changing the ring almost immediately after he proposed. And he agreed but we didn't want to rush into the next purchase so put it off till after the wedding and honeymoon. LOL I think I waited a day to tell him I didn't love the ring. At least we have an open communicating relationship. That's a good thing isn't it? It's always worked for us. [/quote]



Yup, an upgrade is always a good thing...

 

[rubybeth]

Re: How many years were you married/committed before upgrade

Years???. Some of the gals here upgraded before they "walk down the aisle"...

I did include "less than 1 year" as an option for just this reason.

 

[rubybeth]

Re: How many years were you married/committed before upgrade

I kind of wonder how much people don't know anyone who "upgrades" solely because of the terminology. I don't know that I know anyone irl who has "upgraded," but I know a TON of people who have multiple big anniversary rings that they may wear instead of their original engagement ring.

Maybe, I guess I just mean a new ring that takes the starring role on the left ring finger. I didn't trade in my original ring to get my upgrade, so I'll still have both as options. In my circle and region of the US, it's rare to see larger diamonds on any finger, so it just doesn't seem very common in my area. I'm sure in bigger cities, it's more common, especially in the higher income areas.

 

[diamondringlover]

Re: How many years were you married/committed before upgrade

mine is a little different then the average story..i got engaged with a very small ruby and diamond band..cost a whopping $110, very poor quality (still loved the ring and what it stood for) wore it for a couple of years, then hubby bought me a .18 round diamond, that one lasted me almost 20 years....then we bought a 1 ct princess cut, I have had it for almost 14 years now..I would love to change it/upgrade it 1 more time...but money just isnt there right now. I will be doing a reset very soon....but still deciding on what i want.

 

[LLJsmom]

Re: How many years were you married/committed before upgrade

Years???. Some of the gals here upgraded before they "walk down the aisle"...

LOL within the first (few?) month(s).

Haha you are right DF. While I got married with the original ER my dh (the FI) and I had spoken about my changing the ring almost immediately after he proposed. And he agreed but we didn't want to rush into the next purchase so put it off till after the wedding and honeymoon. LOL I think I waited a day to tell him I didn't love the ring. At least we have an open communicating relationship. That's a good thing isn't it? It's always worked for us.

That's a great thing Missy!! No joke. I wish I did. Instead I put it in a safe deposit for 15 years and never thought about it. What a waste of time and money...

 

[theren]

Re: How many years were you married/committed before upgrade

I didn't "upgrade" until the 3 year mark and honestly it's more of an anniversary ring. I just alternate depending on my mood.

 

[kenny]

Re: How many years were you married/committed before upgrade

You ask, "How many years was I married or committed before upgrade?".

I've never been married but I was committed for 40 years before I escaped and hitchhiked to GOG to upgrade to my Octavia.

 

[rubybeth]

Re: How many years were you married/committed before upgrade

You ask, "How many years was I married or committed before upgrade?".

I've never been married but I was committed for 40 years before I escaped and hitchhiked to GOG to upgrade to my Octavia.

Kenny:

 

[mochiko42]

Re: How many years were you married/committed before upgrade

You ask, "How many years was I married or committed before upgrade?".

I've never been married but I was committed for 40 years before I escaped and hitchhiked to GOG to upgrade to my Octavia.

Kenny: [emoji38]

+1!

I'm so glad you're back, Kenny! PS wasn't the same without you [emoji23] [emoji16]

 

[missy]

Re: How many years were you married/committed before upgrade

Years???. Some of the gals here upgraded before they "walk down the aisle"...

LOL within the first (few?) month(s).

Haha you are right DF. While I got married with the original ER my dh (the FI) and I had spoken about my changing the ring almost immediately after he proposed. And he agreed but we didn't want to rush into the next purchase so put it off till after the wedding and honeymoon. LOL I think I waited a day to tell him I didn't love the ring. At least we have an open communicating relationship. That's a good thing isn't it? It's always worked for us.

That's a great thing Missy!! No joke. I wish I did. Instead I put it in a safe deposit for 15 years and never thought about it. What a waste of time and money...

Thanks LLJsmom and at least now you have something you love and wear and we learn from the past so that's a valuable experience. It wasn't easy because when he proposed I wasn't even looking at the ring and then when I did I thought it was beautiful but it wasn't perfect and I know you all know what I mean. I wasn't sure at first if I should say anything because I did not want to hurt his feelings. We were engaged for only a day or 2 before he realized something was up with the ring because I cannot hide my feelings from him anyway and so I fessed up. At first when I shared my feelings about the ring with him I think he was disappointed because he picked out a beautiful ring for me but it wasn't what I wanted and honestly at the time I wasn't sure what I wanted (LOL big surprise right and it took almost a decade to figure it out and many different settings haha) but I knew that wasn't it. Anyway it was a good experience that would help us in our marriage in that honesty (for us) is always the best policy. Always. Sometimes you have to do it gently though.

 

[iLander]

Re: How many years were you married/committed before upgrade

First upgrade was 5 years (original grandma's ring was pretty beat up), then another at 15 years, then 25 years (really an anniversary ring), and the latest at 32 years (but it was really for a milestone birthday).