How Many Showers?

[mintve]

How many showers do you think you will have?

One big bridal shower w/ everyone (ladies only)
family shower
friends showers
colleagues shower
co-ed shower

and what kinds of themes?

I guess i did not realize all the options for showers. My mom and sisters are organizing a shower to invite all the ladies we are inviting to the wedding (that leads to another questions, what is the etiquette, do guesst to the shower need to be invited to the wedding??)

OK, so the same day as the bridal shower, I am having a girls dinner/bacehlorette party

if we wanted a couples shower, is that too many? Can this be a separate event from an engagement party? )We are having a small engagement party/house warming party)

I just want to make sure we are not having too many functions, but I also want to make sure we follow traditions...

sorry for all the questions, any help is great!!

 

[musey]

That''s a lot of showers!

How many you have all depends on who offers to throw you one, so the bride and groom don''t really have any control over the number/occurrence of showers. We only had one person (my matron of honor) offer, so we had one shower.

 

[Blair138]

I am having one shower with family and friends that my mom is throwing. Not ALL of the ladies who are invited to the wedding will be at the shower, but in my opinion if your mom is throwing the shower, the guests should all be invited to the wedding. If co-workers want to throw you an informal shower at work, it''s not mandatory to invite them to the wedding because they threw you the shower.

If you want a co-ed shower, I would do just friends of you and your FI, but not invite those girls to the big shower unless they are your super close friend, that''s a lot of gifts for someone to give/be expected to give. If you are doing an engagement party-I would say no couples shower then, unless you are specifically specifying no gifts at the engagement party.

People have any number of showers. I am keeping it to one because I am most comfortable with that and would rather have one large one with my family, FI''s family and my friends. If not, I think it would just get to hectic and there would be too much guest overlap and I wouldn''t want anyone to feel obligated to get me a gift for each shower! you can do whatever you want, but with a large shower thrown by you mom and sis, one seems like enough to me!

 

[mintve]

Date: 9/20/2008 2:15:29 PM
Author: Blair138
I am having one shower with family and friends that my mom is throwing. Not ALL of the ladies who are invited to the wedding will be at the shower, but in my opinion if your mom is throwing the shower, the guests should all be invited to the wedding. If co-workers want to throw you an informal shower at work, it''s not mandatory to invite them to the wedding because they threw you the shower.

If you want a co-ed shower, I would do just friends of you and your FI, but not invite those girls to the big shower unless they are your super close friend, that''s a lot of gifts for someone to give/be expected to give. If you are doing an engagement party-I would say no couples shower then, unless you are specifically specifying no gifts at the engagement party.

People have any number of showers. I am keeping it to one because I am most comfortable with that and would rather have one large one with my family, FI''s family and my friends. If not, I think it would just get to hectic and there would be too much guest overlap and I wouldn''t want anyone to feel obligated to get me a gift for each shower! you can do whatever you want, but with a large shower thrown by you mom and sis, one seems like enough to me!

Thanks Blair- this is what I was thinking. I really want everyone at one big party and that is the plan with the shower my mom and sisters are planning. I am not going to antipate a colleague shower, but they might on their own...we will see. and I don''t think we need any other showers since my mom is planning the large one w/ all the ladies.

I am just not sure about the co-ed shower at this point. We have time to sort it out, but i am curious to see what other suggest as well. My fiance may not like all the fuss over him/us...

 

[mintve]

Date: 9/20/2008 2:10:52 PM
Author: musey
That''s a lot of showers!

How many you have all depends on who offers to throw you one, so the bride and groom don''t really have any control over the number/occurrence of showers. We only had one person (my matron of honor) offer, so we had one shower.

Thanks musey-

I know, it is a lot
I read some stories and talked to some people and they had that many, with various themes, etc.
Right now we have a small engagement party planned and a large bridal shower. I was just sure what the standard was.

 

[mimzy]

we''re having two showers, one for (most of) the ladies on my side, and then stefan''s mom is having one for the ladies on her side. our invite list is a little over 240 though, so one shower with over 100 people wasn''t really feasible.

i would skip the couple''s shower and just do an informal hangout thing with all your friends a few weeks before the wedding like bowling w/ beer and pizza or something. that way your friends don''t feel obligated to give you four presents if they are invited to all four parties, but you still get your time in with all your friends.

 

[Blair138]

No problem mintve...where is your mom and sis having the shower? I am having mine at the banquet hall where I wanted to have the wedding (they had no summer 09 bookings) so I get the best of both worlds!

 

[Italiahaircolor]

Absolutely...every guest invited to your bridal shower or engagement party must be invited to your wedding.

If you're having a ladies only shower, and an engagement party, I would say that is more than enough. Esspecially, if the ladies you're inviting to the girls-only shower would be invited to the couples shower as well. Having multiple showers where the same people are invited, in my opinion, is comes off as slightly overwheling--and expensive for those invited, too. Yes, you should celebrate your upcoming marriage...and showers/parties are very much a part of that...but as someone who always brings a gift, I'd feel like an engagement party, 2 showers, a bachelorette party and wedding is just really to much money to spend on one couple.

 

[LaraOnline]

To be honest, and I know I come from a different place culturally, but one shower seems appropriate. If my work colleagues wanted to take me out for drinks, or some other get-together, (that doesn't involve too much organisation / money / gift-giving / forward planning and trouble), fine.

Personally, I think wedding guests can, if they choose, bring a wedding gift on the big day, I don't need any other presents really. I didn't have a shower though, so I'm not sure what they're for.

I do need lots of smiling happy friends having fun together though, so why not celebrate with a meal at a favourite restaurant... as many times as you like?

 

[honey22]

I am not sure what a shower is exactly? In Australia we call the party that we have the oldies *the behaved* party the Kitchen Tea, the ladies all get together and have a civilised afternoon tea party sort of thing with funny games and cakes etc. Everyone is invited, but it's primary for the aunts, grandparents etc who are not really comfortable ripping out the stripper in front of. I won't be having one of these, boring

I also feel that it's a thinly veiled excuse to get more presents. I am just not comfortable with this idea. I am not saying that you are using this event for this reason, I would be worried that my guests would think that I was having a kitchen tea to score.

I will however be having a hen's night, certainly involving copious amounts of cocktails, drinks in cute little shot glasses and naked men

My BM is just itching to get me back for the hot stripper I arranged at her party. Should be a fun night - much funner than pin the peg on the clothes line and tea cake

I will require someone to carry me home and DF will be there with a bucket and some panadol the next day. Can't wait!