How many hrs do u stay at yr in laws on holidays?

[iluvdiamonds2]

I always get stuck there at least 4+ hours and i don't like to sit still. How many hours is "not rude" to leave? 3? What do u do?
I can't sit around someone's house all day or night long. I can't do it in my own house.

 

[somethingshiny]

I have kids so I stay as long or as little as I want. (yeah, I know, bad mom using her kids as an excuse to leave!)

My rule of thumb is be there at least 30 minutes before the meal is served and stay at least an hour after. This is my rule because I think if I help finish preparing the meal (aside from what I bring) and am there to clean up the mess, I should be able to leave whenever I want.

 

[megumic]

Look at the bright side, it's easier to leave your in-laws when you go to them. You're stuck if they come to you...then the ball is in their court!

 

[monarch64]

I think a 3-4 hour visit is pretty typical. It's been a few years since I've had in-laws, and we do not celebrate the holiday with FI's family, but we do visit his "adopted" family after we go to my immediate family's dinner. We stay at my parents' home for around 4 hours--we arrive around noon, eat at one o'clock, and leave around half past three, give or take thirty minutes on either end. This year will be different as my brother and SIL and my niece will be traveling to Texas to visit friends for the holiday and won't be attending our family's dinner...so FI and I offered to fill the time (normally we'd be entertaining the kid since she's only ~3 years old) by helping my mother bring down her Christmas trees and set them up, and we will likely (if weather permits) help my father with outdoor Christmas lighting.

Can you bring some board games to play? Cards? I really like to bring the game "Catchphrase" to a party of 10 or less, it's fun and interactive and helps pass the time, and also keeps you from overeating/snacking too much after dinner as it's pretty action-packed.

It is pretty rude to "eat and run," or sit down to a meal and then take off immediately afterward. You can always offer to help do the dishes, watch the kiddies, or make sure the turkey bones are properly disposed of so that no pets end up eating them!

 

[iluvdiamonds2]

Thanks,a game is a good idea. Maybe a dvd or something too. There is a small child involved so she is the center of attention. I doubt anyone will want to play games with us unfortunately.

 

[KimberlyH]

Don't tell my husband yoou get away with 4 hours, he's stuck for 3+ days! We get a hotel room and he works part of the time, or goes and wanders to get a break. My in laws are all deceased or not in contact so I can't answer for myself.

 

[lliang_chi]

Hm, sounds like you'll be there for a while, if this is the first time they're seeing the little one. I'm thinking of my family gatherings (30+ people) everyone's usually there for HOURS and HOURS! I guess that's out of the ordinary....

 

[somethingshiny]

Hm, sounds like you'll be there for a while, if this is the first time they're seeing the little one. I'm thinking of my family gatherings (30+ people) everyone's usually there for HOURS and HOURS! I guess that's out of the ordinary....

That's how MY family is, but not DH's. We settle in with snacks and games, lunch and supper and stay half the night eating, playing, drinking and gabbing.

 

[MustangGal]

We 2 days camping at the in-laws (Thursday and Friday), then 2 days at my family (Saturday and Sunday). We travel the furthest, but even the local family members stay about that long. Can you go outside for a walk? Hang out in the yard? Might break things up a little.

 

[february2003bride]

If its my parents house- 2 hours max. If it's my Aunt or Uncle's house it's about 3 hours since they live further away and we see them less frequently.

 

[MonkeyPie]

I've never counted the hours, because I actually like my in-laws But we usually split the day in half if my family is doing something the same day. For Turkey Day my family is celebrating Friday, so Thursday I will be with the IL's as long as we want.

 

[zoebartlett]

My husband's family is about an hour away from us, and when we go to his parents' house for Christmas Eve, we usually stay about 3-4 hours or so. His whole family (4 brothers/sisters and nieces/nephews...) gets together for a pot-luck dinner. At some point in the evening, we exchange our Secret Santa gifts.

We stay probably around 2+ hours on Thanksgiving (or the day after) because it's just the four of us usually. It's such a low-key holiday.This is both at my parents' house and my in-laws' house. I WISH we traveled for the holidays more often or had extended family visit us. We don't have kids, which I imagine could shorten (or lengthen) the time spent at someone's house.

 

[elrohwen]

Both my parents and DH's mom live pretty far away (5-7hrs) so we usually spend a holiday with one of them (and the other side joins in, since we both have small families). Generally we spend 4 or so days there.

So it could be worse! You could have to stay there all week

 

[Morgie44]

I think it depends on the circumstances, for us, we live VERY close to DH's family and see them at least once a week, because of this, we spend less time with them than we do my family, which is about 1.5 hours away, and usually only see them once every few months for my immediate family and only on holidays for my aunts and uncles, so we spend 4 or so hours with my family and about 2 with his, with the exception of Christmas, which is Christmas Eve with his family, from 6 pm or so until 1 or 2 am and all day with my family on Christmas day, from 9 or 10 am until 5 or 6 pm.

 

[fieryred33143]

With my mom, we stay for 2-3 days She lives 4 hours away so we usually make a trip out of it.

With the in-laws, probably close to 6 hours. On Thanksgiving we got there at 7pm and left at 2am. It's a little easier for us to stay there a long while because my daughter has her own room there so her sleep isn't disrupted too much.

 

[emilyalyse]

My husband and I live 12 hours from each of our families (pretty much dead center between the two). So, holiday/etc. visits to either family end up being about a week. Neither of us mind much (although it can be a pain to schedule!), as my family lives on a farm (and several of my horses are still there) and his family lives right on the beach. Makes for great get-aways while visiting the family when we need it.

I would think though, that 3-4 hours if you live close would be more than enough! Really depends on what is going on (are people still sitting around chatting? Not so polite to just up and leave at that point without a reason.) and how the family reacts to visits in general.

 

[artdecogirl]

We will stay about 3-4 hours or so, it is a 3 hour drive from us but they smoke in the house and most of his relatives do also including 3 of his 4 siblings and spouses, they smoke out in a enclosed porch because of the kids just for the holiday but the porch is not vented at all so anytime someone opens the door it just pours into the house plus then many of the adults just sit out on the porch for the duration. So we can take only so much. I love to visit with dh's sisters and brothers and I love my mil, she is great but neither of us can take the lack of fresh air for very long, plus tiny house with many people = overwhelming pretty fast.

 

[Prana]

DH are in the abnormal situation where we both LOVE each others family. So on holidays (and during any random visit) we spend hours. Usually from early AM to night time on major holidays. we are lucky, and we actually enjoy this time spent with them. DH is like a son to my parents, and I'm like a daughter to his parents.

 

[Jennifer W]

DH's family are at the other end of the country, so if we visit, it's days rather than hours. So we don't. His parents both passed away, so it's wider family.

With my parents, they're bored and ready for us to leave after an hour, hour and a half max. We'll probably stay a little bit longer at Christmas, but it works best if we're in and our fairly fast.