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How many dances?

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larussel03

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How many slow dances are you having? Personally, I am not a HUGE fan of slow dancing, but my mom insists that on top of the 1st dance, father-daughter dance, that she and my dad have a dance (ONLY them, not FI''s parents), then I feel that FI''s parents will probably want a mother-son and a parents'' dance for themselves...I feel like it''s getting out of hand. I was hoping that these dances can be conducted mainly during dinner, but that''s alot of dances and I feel like they should just share the parents'' dance with FI''s parents and FI may not want a mother-son dance, but that''s up to him.

How many set "dances" did you have?
 

tanyak

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The only planned dance we had was the first dance. But toward the middle of the evening, my new FIL requested a song from the DJ and we danced together.


I think five dances (what you could possibly have) are WAAAAY to many. Nobody wants to sit through all of that. Most people eventually turn away from the first dance after a minute or two. It''s boring to watch other people dance, especially to slow songs. If you''re doing some sort of uptempo song with steps and swinging, that''s a different matter. That might draw the crowd in.
 

larussel03

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Date: 3/15/2007 9:48:15 AM
Author: tanyak
The only planned dance we had was the first dance. But toward the middle of the evening, my new FIL requested a song from the DJ and we danced together.


I think five dances (what you could possibly have) are WAAAAY to many. Nobody wants to sit through all of that. Most people eventually turn away from the first dance after a minute or two. It''s boring to watch other people dance, especially to slow songs. If you''re doing some sort of uptempo song with steps and swinging, that''s a different matter. That might draw the crowd in.
I think so too!!! How do I tell her that though, she''s all like "so you and FI will dance, then you and daddy, then me and daddy..." not even taking into consideration that to her, this seems like 3, but then if FI''s parents want the same it''s going to end up being 5 and that''s alot. Maybe I''ll ask her if we can combine teh parents dance and have it at the end of the night or something...I dunno
 

janinegirly

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when do dances typically go on..during dinner? right after intros?

we might not be doing intros...FI doesn''t like them
 

larussel03

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Date: 3/15/2007 10:08:44 AM
Author: janinegirly
when do dances typically go on..during dinner? right after intros?

we might not be doing intros...FI doesn''t like them
I was hoping that they could be mainly during the meal, and maybe at the end of the night to wind things down...I don''t want to interrupt everyone dancing and having fun for one of these million requested slow dances...

We''re not doing garter/bouquet toss, so that''ll at least cut that interruption out. (Can you tell I''m big into keeping the flow haha)
 

jcrow

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we did our first dance, followed by a father/mother dance. DURING that dance, i surprised dh''s dad and asked him to dance. That was followed by two money dances. then we cut the cake and did the toast.
 

laine

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I''ve never heard of the parents dance. Is that standard in some places? It seems a little odd to give that much attention to someone thats not the couple getting married.

Could you maybe do the bride/groom dance, the father/daughter, then mother/son, and then have the dj invite both sets of parents onto the floor, then after 30 seconds/a minute, invite everyone to join them, as a way to get things started? (If your mom will object, you could just tell her the dj did it on his own, and thats not how you planned it).

I''ve actually been thinking about combining the father/daughter and mother/son dances, as even 3 dances seems like a lot to me. Has anyone done this or seen it done? Any thoughts?
 

jcrow

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whoops! i didn''t mean father/mother dance. (and it won''t let me edit it
)

i meant we had a mother/son dance, during which i asked dh''s dad to dance with me. so we combined it.
 

jcrow

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Date: 3/15/2007 11:03:37 AM
Author: janinegirly
probably a dumb ques, but what is ''money dance''?
it maybe a southern thing - not sure. but anyway, guests give money to the bride and groom in exchange for a dance with them. usually the money is pinned onto the tux and dress of the b&g, but i had a little white vintage purse to put the money in.
 

JCJD

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"Official" planned dances: 2. First dance and father-daughter dance. Then I surprised my paternal grandfather with a dance later on in the night. It was really cute, he basically has no rhythm and was being so careful not to step on my toes.
 

JCJD

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jcrow and janine - people do money dances in the midwest too, I''ve heard them called dollar dances as well. People give $1 to dance with the bride/groom for a couple minutes. I didn''t do one (just don''t like it personally), but I''m sure it''s a great way for guests to actually chat with the bride/groom and vice versa. Undivided attention plus a bit of cash for the honeymoon.
 

tanyak

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I think you're mom is being a little diva-ish about the spotlight dance, but if you're doing them during dinner, I guess it doesn't hurt anything. If people are eating, they probably aren't worried about hitting the dance floor yet.

Honestly, as a guest, I really wouldn't pay much attention past the first "awwww" minute or so. I'm thinking most people will just continue eating - be prepared for there to be some quiet talking during most of the dances besides the first dance. Your mom won't have everyone's undivided attention.
 

RoseAngel04

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Date: 3/15/2007 11:23:51 AM
Author: jcrow

Date: 3/15/2007 11:03:37 AM
Author: janinegirly
probably a dumb ques, but what is ''money dance''?
it maybe a southern thing - not sure. but anyway, guests give money to the bride and groom in exchange for a dance with them. usually the money is pinned onto the tux and dress of the b&g, but i had a little white vintage purse to put the money in.
I''m from the south and had NEVER heard of the money dance until I got engaged and read about it on theknot.com boards. We aren''t doing one, I personally don''t care for the concept. I''ve never been to a wedding that had a money dance either.
 

Kit

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Whoa. That is waaaaay too many dances! It will be like serving your guests a valium along with their dinner.
Trust me, no one is going to want to sit through all that. Think about it: 6 different dances times 4 minutes per dance on average = nearly 1/2 hour of all your guests just sitting and being bored. The only way that I would allow this to happen is if most of these dances occured during dinner so that people weren''t forced to watch these "performances." The only exception would be the dance between you and your DH--obviously people want to see that or else they wouldn''t have showed up to your wedding!

Seriously, you are going to suck the life out of your reception. Can you explain to your mom that she is really not thinking clearly on this one? At least get her to see the merits of combining several of these requests into dances. I don''t get why she needs all these dances...


Personally I am only having the one dance between me and my husband, because I think all those other dances tend to be rather cheesy and forced-looking for the most part. (Perhaps if I didn''t have a dysfunctional family I would feel differently.) And I certainly wouldn''t let my parents hijack our big day by forcing all our guests to watch them dance together.
 

jcrow

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Date: 3/15/2007 12:26:00 PM
Author: RoseAngel04

Date: 3/15/2007 11:23:51 AM
Author: jcrow


Date: 3/15/2007 11:03:37 AM
Author: janinegirly
probably a dumb ques, but what is ''money dance''?
it maybe a southern thing - not sure. but anyway, guests give money to the bride and groom in exchange for a dance with them. usually the money is pinned onto the tux and dress of the b&g, but i had a little white vintage purse to put the money in.
I''m from the south and had NEVER heard of the money dance until I got engaged and read about it on theknot.com boards. We aren''t doing one, I personally don''t care for the concept. I''ve never been to a wedding that had a money dance either.
ok, not a southern thing
my mistake.
i don''t think i''ve been to a wedding that didn''t have one.
 

larussel03

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Oct 22, 2005
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Date: 3/15/2007 12:33:06 PM
Author: Kit
Whoa. That is waaaaay too many dances! It will be like serving your guests a valium along with their dinner.
Trust me, no one is going to want to sit through all that. Think about it: 6 different dances times 4 minutes per dance on average = nearly 1/2 hour of all your guests just sitting and being bored. The only way that I would allow this to happen is if most of these dances occured during dinner so that people weren't forced to watch these 'performances.' The only exception would be the dance between you and your DH--obviously people want to see that or else they wouldn't have showed up to your wedding!

Seriously, you are going to suck the life out of your reception. Can you explain to your mom that she is really not thinking clearly on this one? At least get her to see the merits of combining several of these requests into dances. I don't get why she needs all these dances...


Personally I am only having the one dance between me and my husband, because I think all those other dances tend to be rather cheesy and forced-looking for the most part. (Perhaps if I didn't have a dysfunctional family I would feel differently.) And I certainly wouldn't let my parents hijack our big day by forcing all our guests to watch them dance together.
I know, right?!?!

I think she's just excited, but her and my dad sit up actually writing out songs they want the DJ to play, that are all like slower older songs, and I just am like that is NOT what you play constantly at a wedding. And I am NOT giving the DJ a huge long list of songs to play, I'm not paying 1500.00 to give a play list to a DJ, I'd just have brought my ipod if that were the case.

And the dances are just rediculous...I really don't want 5 or 6 slow dances...I'm going to have to figure out how to breach this topic with her without sounding like I'm not "letting" her do something (she's the type to turn it around and make it as though I'm being really awful to her, so I have to be very careful about how this is done, which is why this is even an issue to start)...

Maybe we could do the first dance right after we're announced into the reception hall, then the father daughter dance at the while everyone's starting to eat and then do a parents' dance at the end that was for both FI's parents and mine or something.

if she weren't hypersensitive and super defensive about everything then I could just say "you know, that's an awful lot of dances," but she may be like "oh ok" then later get mad about it.
 

tanyak

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Joined
Nov 2, 2005
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209
Date: 3/15/2007 12:43:19 PM


Maybe we could do the first dance right after we''re announced into the reception hall, then the father daughter dance at the while everyone''s starting to eat and then do a parents'' dance at the end that was for both FI''s parents and mine or something.
That''s a pretty good compromise if you think your mom will throw a fit. You can do the parents dance about 30-45 minutes before the end of the reception. That gives people a couple of minutes to get something to drink or take a breather. Then get the DJ to crank it back up. But definitely combine the parents'' dance - I don''t care how much they paid for the wedding, no one wants to see two sets of parents each dance for 4 minutes!
 

Fancy605

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Jul 3, 2006
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I am planning on just doing our first dance....during which we are going to kind of let everyone join in at the end b/c I mean I really am not a big "look at me" type person. I want to forgo the father/daughter and mother/son dances all together. My only reservation is that I don''t want to hurt anyone''s feelings.
 

ephemery1

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Mar 20, 2006
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We are doing bride/groom (not sure of the song), bride/father (My Girl), groom/mother (Rockin' Robin).... I think in that order. And I'm going to ask the band to make the last two a little shorter, not quite the full songs... kinda like Fancy, I'm hoping to limit my time in the spotlight!

I have been to a fair amount of weddings, but never once seen a parents' dance... I've never even heard of it, actually! Could you tell your mom that the DJ suggests just one parent dance, closer to the end? That way you can put the blame on him and off yourself...


I've actually never heard of a money dance either. We went to one wedding (at a VFW... VERY very casual) where you could pay $1 to break a plate, but that's the only time I've seen dollar bills come out at a wedding! PS never fails to teach me something new...
 

Pandora II

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Wow, in the UK there is only the first dance which is the couple. Then the bride tends to dance with her father later on, but just along with everyone else.

I''d be terrified - FI and I are going to have lessons so we can manage one dance with everyone watching!
 
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