How many affected by cheating?

[joflier]

The mistress thread got me thinking.....how many of us have been affected by an unfaithful partner at some point in life? Or have been the unfaithful ones, ourselves? It just seems like everywhere we look, there's someone who's cheating, or been cheated on. No need to elaborate the details - I'm just curious at the numbers.

ETA - I've been cheated on. And also like Fiery, been a mistress - not knowing it at the time, though.

 

[Lauren8211]

I''ve been cheated on! Fun times!

 

[princesss]

Gotta love being cheated on and then told that your poor reaction and lack of immediate forgiveness, "Almost make me feel justified in cheating on you." Oh, and being called a bad Christian for not forgiving within 5 seconds.

Yeah. He was a real winner.

 

[OUpearlgirl]

I''ve been cheated on, once.

 

[Shoopy]

I was a mistress

(I didn''t know at the time)

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

I cheated on a hs bf by kissing someone else when I was mad at said bf. It ended the relationship and I''ve been scarred ever since. I''ve been cheated on as well.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 3/24/2010 3:14:18 PM
Author:joflier
The mistress thread got me thinking.....how many of us have been affected by an unfaithful partner at some point in life? Or have been the unfaithful ones, ourselves? It just seems like everywhere we look, there''s someone who''s cheating, or been cheated on. No need to elaborate the details - I''m just curious at the numbers.

ETA - I''ve been cheated on. And also like Fiery, been a mistress - not knowing it at the time, though.

i don''t think any women gonna admit they were unfaithful

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 3/24/2010 3:22:32 PM
Author: princesss
Gotta love being cheated on and then told that your poor reaction and lack of immediate forgiveness, ''Almost make me feel justified in cheating on you.'' Oh, and being called a bad Christian for not forgiving within 5 seconds.

Yeah. He was a real winner.

You really lost out there, princesss!

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Date: 3/24/2010 3:39:52 PM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 3/24/2010 3:14:18 PM

Author:joflier

The mistress thread got me thinking.....how many of us have been affected by an unfaithful partner at some point in life? Or have been the unfaithful ones, ourselves? It just seems like everywhere we look, there''s someone who''s cheating, or been cheated on. No need to elaborate the details - I''m just curious at the numbers.


ETA - I''ve been cheated on. And also like Fiery, been a mistress - not knowing it at the time, though.

i don''t think any women gonna admit they were unfaithful

I just did.

I suppose you can say I was also DH''s mistress for a short time. He was separated but not officially divorced. By some of the more conservative, traditional standards I''d be considered a home wrecking harlot.

 

[Maisie]

Date: 3/24/2010 3:22:32 PM
Author: princesss
Gotta love being cheated on and then told that your poor reaction and lack of immediate forgiveness, ''Almost make me feel justified in cheating on you.'' Oh, and being called a bad Christian for not forgiving within 5 seconds.

Yeah. He was a real winner.

Oh I had this too!!

 

[elrohwen]

Date: 3/24/2010 3:46:39 PM
Author: Hudson_Hawk
I just did.

I suppose you can say I was also DH's mistress for a short time. He was separated but not officially divorced. By some of the more conservative, traditional standards I'd be considered a home wrecking harlot.

Harlot!! Can I throw stones at you now?


I actually haven't been cheated on and I haven't cheated. I only had a few long term relationships, so the odds were in my favor.

 

[Maisie]

I have cheated. Long time ago. And have been cheated on. I wish I had never done it because the hurt is incredible when you are on the receiving end. I would never cheat now.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Date: 3/24/2010 3:51:54 PM
Author: elrohwen

Date: 3/24/2010 3:46:39 PM

Author: Hudson_Hawk

I just did.


I suppose you can say I was also DH''s mistress for a short time. He was separated but not officially divorced. By some of the more conservative, traditional standards I''d be considered a home wrecking harlot.

Harlot!! Can I throw stones at you now?



I actually havent'' been cheated on and I haven''t cheated. I haven''t had that many long term relationships either, so the odds were in my favor.

Not unless they''re named Otto and soft like a bunneh!

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 3/24/2010 3:24:23 PM
Author: Hudson_Hawk
I cheated on a hs bf by kissing someone else when I was mad at said bf. It ended the relationship and I''ve been scarred ever since. I''ve been cheated on as well.

kissing don''t count.

 

[Porridge]

Date: 3/24/2010 3:53:23 PM
Author: Dancing Fire
kissing don't count.

Oooooooh...I beg to differ!

ETA I haven't cheated/been cheated on/aided and abetted a cheater...that I know of!

 

[Smurfysmiles]

One of my first boyfriends told me his gf had died in a car wreck and yadda yadda...turns out she just moved to another state and they were having a long distance relationship...i was in 8th grade

Found out another guy lied about having appendicitis on valentine''s day my sophomore year of college just so he could go be with some other girl (his friends showed me photos so it wasn''t just word of mouth). He didn''t know I knew about the other girl so he came over to make up for it and I arranged to have a guy friend of mine stop by and kiss me in front of said boyfriend and then continued on to dump his sorry butt. It was obviously a healthy relationship lol. We got back together a couple months later only to have him fake CANCER! Let''s just say I definitely learned my lesson the second time

 

[monarch64]

Monarch "Scarlett Letter" 64 reporting in here.

I was still legally married for the first 4.5 months of my current relationship. My marriage had been over for quite some time, whether it was legal or not, when I met my SO. So while it was technically cheating, it sure didn''t feel that way.

My college boyfriend of 2 years cheated on me (I suspect--finding condoms in his closet when we weren''t using them was a pretty good indicator) during the second year we dated...he graduated a year before I did and moved 2 hours south. A long-distance relationship was not feasible for us, in the end. Thank god, because he was anti-diamond and I never could''ve married him anyway.

I''m really not into drama and theatrics...the whole cheating thing is so full of gray areas that I don''t feel right about passing judgment on anyone. I will say that there are just really stupid ways to go about doing things in life. Tiger Woods, for example, has poop for brains.

 

[Irishgrrrl]

I have cheated. And I have been a mistress. Never been cheated on, though (that I know of).

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Date: 3/24/2010 3:53:23 PM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 3/24/2010 3:24:23 PM

Author: Hudson_Hawk

I cheated on a hs bf by kissing someone else when I was mad at said bf. It ended the relationship and I''ve been scarred ever since. I''ve been cheated on as well.

kissing don''t count.

Uh, yea, it ended the relationship and was physical interaction with someone other than my SO at the time. I''d consider it cheating.

 

[Maisie]

Date: 3/24/2010 4:03:03 PM
Author: monarch64
Monarch ''Scarlett Letter'' 64 reporting in here.

I was still legally married for the first 4.5 months of my current relationship. My marriage had been over for quite some time, whether it was legal or not, when I met my SO. So while it was technically cheating, it sure didn''t feel that way.

My college boyfriend of 2 years cheated on me (I suspect--finding condoms in his closet when we weren''t using them was a pretty good indicator) during the second year we dated...he graduated a year before I did and moved 2 hours south. A long-distance relationship was not feasible for us, in the end. Thank god, because he was anti-diamond and I never could''ve married him anyway.

I''m really not into drama and theatrics...the whole cheating thing is so full of gray areas that I don''t feel right about passing judgment on anyone. I will say that there are just really stupid ways to go about doing things in life. Tiger Woods, for example, has poop for brains.

I love you!

 

[LadyJane83]

I had a boyfriend from 15-19 who broke up with me during the first week that I went away to college (he dropped out of high school, so he stayed behind). I came home the first weekend to work things out and literally caught him in his underwear with a girl in the shower. Ouch. We got back together after that, but I am fairly sure he cheated on me while I was away.

I had a strange and pretty destructive relationship with a guy I dated from 20-22. It was somewhat long-distance and the boundaries of whether we were "exclusive" or not were always blurry. We''re talking constant game-playing and the other person playing hard to get or trying to get the upper-hand. Exhausting. I know he kissed other girls a few times, and I know I definitely was physical with 2-3 other people while we were "dating" or whatever it was we were doing. I think part of it was b/c I was afraid he was doing it to me, might as well do it to him. Talk about destructive.

A lot of people also don''t know they''re being cheated on. This guy I dated (from above paragraph) had a good friend who cheated on his girlfriend ALL THE TIME- I mean, whenever he got the chance and with whoever he could. When I knew him, he was with the girl for 5 years and they were very serious. And he did all types of things with all types of people, including unprotected sex. He was very open about it to everyone... but she had absolutely no clue. Whenever the gf came around I felt weird and awkward. I found out from fb (it is now about 5 years later) that they are now married and have a baby. Hopefully, he has changed his ways, but I somehow doubt it.

 

[jewelz617]

I was cheated on while in a 2 year relationship. I met my husband 6 weeks later and didn''t give the guy a second thought.

 

[Maisie]

Date: 3/24/2010 4:07:28 PM
Author: LadyJane83
I had a boyfriend from 15-19 who broke up with me during the first week that I went away to college (he dropped out of high school, so he stayed behind). I came home the first weekend to work things out and literally caught him in his underwear with a girl in the shower. Ouch. We got back together after that, but I am fairly sure he cheated on me while I was away.

I had a strange and pretty destructive relationship with a guy I dated from 20-22. It was somewhat long-distance and the boundaries of whether we were ''exclusive'' or not were always blurry. We''re talking constant game-playing and the other person playing hard to get or trying to get the upper-hand. Exhausting. I know he kissed other girls a few times, and I know I definitely was physical with 2-3 other people while we were ''dating'' or whatever it was we were doing. I think part of it was b/c I was afraid he was doing it to me, might as well do it to him. Talk about destructive.

A lot of people also don''t know they''re being cheated on. This guy I dated (from above paragraph) had a good friend who cheated on his girlfriend ALL THE TIME- I mean, whenever he got the chance and with whoever he could. When I knew him, he was with the girl for 5 years and they were very serious. And he did all types of things with all types of people, including unprotected sex. He was very open about it to everyone... but she had absolutely no clue. Whenever the gf came around I felt weird and awkward. I found out from fb (it is now about 5 years later) that they are now married and have a baby. Hopefully, he has changed his ways, but I somehow doubt it.

Oh dear. That sounds messy. I hope he is being faithful now.

 

[dragonfly411]

I was cheated on. We had dated when we were young, broke up, were best friends through high-school, dated after high-school and his roomies outted him on THREE SEPARATE GIRLS. He was also abusive... I am still dealing with the mental and emotional scars and how they''ve affected my ability to trust and love.

 

[Maisie]

Date: 3/24/2010 4:20:36 PM
Author: dragonfly411
I was cheated on. We had dated when we were young, broke up, were best friends through high-school, dated after high-school and his roomies outted him on THREE SEPARATE GIRLS. He was also abusive... I am still dealing with the mental and emotional scars and how they''ve affected my ability to trust and love.

 

[Amber St. Clare]

I cheated in my first marriage. It is one of the biggest regrets.

 

[FrekeChild]

Date: 3/24/2010 3:39:52 PM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 3/24/2010 3:14:18 PM
Author:joflier
The mistress thread got me thinking.....how many of us have been affected by an unfaithful partner at some point in life? Or have been the unfaithful ones, ourselves? It just seems like everywhere we look, there''s someone who''s cheating, or been cheated on. No need to elaborate the details - I''m just curious at the numbers.

ETA - I''ve been cheated on. And also like Fiery, been a mistress - not knowing it at the time, though.

i don''t think any women gonna admit they were unfaithful

WRONG. I was. But it was only kissing. No sex.

 

[kenny]

Long ago I had a partner of two years.
We were monogamous.
Well I was and he said he was too.

When I learned he wasn't from a friend I confronted him.
He lied.
Then I presented the evidence I had.
He broke down crying, "I'm so sorry; It'll never happen again, blah blah blah".

Nope. Dealbreaker. Good bye.

And that was that.

Had he not lied I when I asked I may had given him a 2nd chance.

If a relationship isn't working, fix it.
If you can't, get help.
If that doesn't work, pack your $#!/ and get out.

When you cheat you are really cheating on yourself.

 

[JulieN]

I''ve cheated once (IMO, though some men may disagree) and been complicit twice. I''m making a real effort this time around to be good.

 

[dragonfly411]

Date: 3/24/2010 4:23:53 PM
Author: Maisie

Date: 3/24/2010 4:20:36 PM

Author: dragonfly411

I was cheated on. We had dated when we were young, broke up, were best friends through high-school, dated after high-school and his roomies outted him on THREE SEPARATE GIRLS. He was also abusive... I am still dealing with the mental and emotional scars and how they''ve affected my ability to trust and love.

Awww FANKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!