Hmm.. well let me preface this by saying at 24 I had my mind set towards my career, and was actually planning my life around NOT getting married or having children! I did a lot of "tasting" as far as dating, with a sprinkling of LTR''s from the time I was 16 to 24, but didn''t spend a lot of time or put a lot of stock into the guys who I did stick with for more than 3-4 dates...I guess you might say I had a fear of committment? Looking back, though, I just never felt after those few dates or a couple months or even a couple years at one point that someone was "the one" for me.
That being said...
I met my now husband of 3.5 years while on a date with another guy in a different city. It''s basically one of those scandalous/love at first site stories. I had dated the guy I was with for a month, and two dates into our "relationship" he''d asked me to go to Chicago (we both lived in Indy at the time) for a weekend to see a White Sox game and tour the city. I accepted, but about a week before we went I was having reservations about him already...just knew he wasn''t "the one!" He asked me before we went if I would consider dating him exclusively and I said no, but he said he would like me to go with him anyway, even if the relationship went no further than the friendship it had become. We ended up walking into a bar on Rush st. the night we arrived in Chicago, and not 15 minutes later this man walked in and we locked eyes. Sort of a tragic situation, but we both knew we had a bead on each other and my DH''s "wingman" came up to us and started talking to my date, to give myself and this total stranger a chance to chat. One thing led to another, and I ended up spending the entire weekend in Chicago with this "stranger--" the man who is now my DH!
We both knew from the night we met that we were exclusive, and made that decision verbally the same night.
We dated LD for about 4 months, but about two months after we met he began talking about marriage, and I felt the same. I ended up finding a great job in Chicago and moved here...that was maybe 6-7 months into the relationship (from the point we met).
We were engaged 14 months after meeting, and married 9 months after he proposed. So I knew him basically 2 years before we were married, and have now been married 3 years and 4.5 months. (met him Sept. 2001, engaged Dec. 2001, married Sept. 2003.)
There is just no specific time frame that is correct. It is totally based on what works for you in your life, and what you feel you need to do, and the love you have for each other. I really think there is no right or wrong when it comes to love, timeframes, marriage, kids, etc. One thing I can say is that life is too short not to enjoy every minute, and thankfully I met someone who held to that philosophy as much as I did.
As for your last question of what you would do if you had kids and were in your 40''s...I really can''t answer that one, and won''t even try. We don''t have children yet (we are now 29 and 36), but we would love to expand our current family which now includes two wonderful dogs, and when it happens, if it happens, so be it. First and foremost we are happy with each other and our marriage for the most part, and whatever will be, will be. The biggest lesson I learned from meeting my DH was to have an open mind and not worry too much about what others think, but in your case it is certainly most important to have your kids'' best interests in mind. Good luck!