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lawmax

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Dec 31, 1999
Messages
1,317
...dating exclusively?

How long did you date before both of you knew you were in love?

How long before you knew he/she was "the one" you wanted to marry?

How long to engagement?

It seems that when dating in our 20s we tend to get with one guy/girl, be exclusive for a few years and if it ends in marriage, great, if not start again with someone new. Others, and especially those who are older, seem to date more people at one time for a longer time to avoid wasting years hoping the one exclusive relationship would last.

What would you do if you were dating with kids and in your 40s?
 

labbielove

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jun 28, 2006
Messages
862
Date: 1/15/2007 9:39:21 AM
Author:lawmax
...dating exclusively?

How long did you date before both of you knew you were in love?

How long before you knew he/she was ''the one'' you wanted to marry?

How long to engagement?

It seems that when dating in our 20s we tend to get with one guy/girl, be exclusive for a few years and if it ends in marriage, great, if not start again with someone new. Others, and especially those who are older, seem to date more people at one time for a longer time to avoid wasting years hoping the one exclusive relationship would last.

What would you do if you were dating with kids and in your 40s?
for a frame of reference, i am 39, never married and was in a long relationship before meeting fi.
once i met him i was kicking myself for not ending the previous relationship sooner, but for me, if it wasn''t one wrong guy it would have been another (meaning- i just wasn''t ready to commit) and it all worked out because FI had just moved to the area 2 years before we met.

1. dated exclusively after a couple of weeks, we met on match.com though, and had been emailing for approximately 2-3 months before meeting. i''ve never been one to date more than one guy at a time, but i was giving it a valiant effort!

2. i knew i was in love after about 6 weeks of dating. he claims he knew sooner, (he said it first!)
3. i think i knew within 6 months that i wanted to marry him, but because of my past relationship i wanted to take our time
4. we got engaged after 3 years and 3 months. however, fi suggested living together about 6 months in (i said no way until we decided if we were going to be married)
5. neither of us has been married before or have children. it''s hard for me to say, i know that adds a whole new stressor into the relationship so i think i would take a long time before introducing my children to him.
 

sumbride

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 17, 2006
Messages
3,867
We''re also a Match.com couple! We met in our mid-20s. We''d been emailing about 2 weeks before our first date, and he had been seeing somebody casually for a month or so before we met. I had accepted a couple of other dates from others that fell after our first date, but as we discussed later, the minute we met, we both wanted to ditch the others. I went on those other dates just to be sure it was real chemistry and not loneliness, and he let the other girl down, so we were exclusive by about our 3rd date, which was a few weeks in, thanks to the holidays.

It was probably about 4 months before I knew I was in love, but it took me another month to work up the nerve to tell him. When I did, he was relieved because he''d been trying to figure out if it was ok to tell me yet! So I think that hit about the same time.

I think I knew I wanted to marry him, for sure, about 2 years in. He asked me to move in with him at 2 and a half years, which was the point I knew he knew he wanted to marry me. We''d discussed it before and decided that was a step we only wanted to take knowing we would get married.

Engagement came almost a year to the date after we moved in together, so three and a half years.
 

aljdewey

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 25, 2002
Messages
9,144

...dating exclusively? Well, pretty much when we began dating. I hadn't dated (by choice) for several years, and really wasn't looking to date then either. So, when we began dating, it was exclusive right away.



How long did you date before both of you knew you were in love? We were co-workers who became friends. From March to July, we got together once and then twice weekly; began dating in July.



How long before you knew he/she was 'the one' you wanted to marry? Within 3 weeks of dating.



How long to engagement? about 17 months. Began dating in July; moved in togehter in November, engaged following November.



What would you do if you were dating with kids and in your 40s? Can't help there - no idea. I can only guess that I'd likely be a bit more cautious since children are involved then.

 

Jas12

Ideal_Rock
Joined
May 16, 2006
Messages
2,330
We have been dating over 10 years now (high school sweeties), but i basically had a feeling that we would marry early in that first year of dating...obviously in no rush, we had college and university and travel to fit in before that.

Our engagement wil be 1 yr and 4 months by the time we tie the knot
 

ephemery1

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 20, 2006
Messages
1,724

How long did you date before dating exclusively? He wasn''t seeing anybody else, but for the first month or so, I was still occasionally hanging out with a guy I used to date. Even though the ex and I were just friends (definitely nothing romantic between us), I found out later that FI was NOT happy about it!


How long did you date before both of you knew you were in love? He said he loved me about 3 months after we''d started dating... and I said it back. I felt it before that, I was just super-cautious, having loved some not-so-worthy guys in the past!


How long before you knew he/she was ''the one'' you wanted to marry? I started to suspect it about 6 months into the relationship, but wouldn''t have totally trusted my instinct until we''d been together at least a year... preferably longer. Don''t get me wrong, I fantasized about getting engaged from the beginning... but I knew it was smartest to give us some time to evolve as a couple.


How long to engagement? We started talking playfully about marriage after about 6 months, started to talk seriously about rings after 2.5 years, and actually GOT the ring right before the 3.5 year mark.


It seems that when dating in our 20s we tend to get with one guy/girl, be exclusive for a few years and if it ends in marriage, great, if not start again with someone new. Others, and especially those who are older, seem to date more people at one time for a longer time to avoid wasting years hoping the one exclusive relationship would last. True of us... I was 23 when we met, he was 25. I''d just lost my grandmother, moved to a new city and started grad school.... he was enjoying his first real year of single life after being a serial monogamist in high school/college... so neither were really looking for anything serious. But he was pleasantly different from the tumultuous relationships of my past and just felt refreshingly "right".


What would you do if you were dating with kids and in your 40s? Hard to answer... but I''m a firm believer that there are lots of people out there who could be compatible with us... it''s just a matter of finding someone at the right place, right time, who is a good complement to the life you already lead and the person you already are.

 

eks6426

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 19, 2004
Messages
2,011

...dating exclusively?


How long did you date before both of you knew you were in love? Within a month.


How long before you knew he/she was "the one" you wanted to marry? Within a month. I knew what I wanted and he fit the bill well.


How long to engagement? March to July


It seems that when dating in our 20s we tend to get with one guy/girl, be exclusive for a few years and if it ends in marriage, great, if not start again with someone new. Others, and especially those who are older, seem to date more people at one time for a longer time to avoid wasting years hoping the one exclusive relationship would last.


What would you do if you were dating with kids and in your 40s? It depends on the age of the kids and how they feel about the split from their other parent. I have a 9 year old and my husband has a 17 year old. They were 8 and 15 when we got married. My 1st husband passed away. My husband divorced. The 9 year old has dealt with my new relationship very well. He''s young and without a father figure. He still cries about missing "daddy" but definitely has bonded with my husband. The 17 year old isn''t going nearly as well. My husband and his ex were separated for a long time but divorced somewhat recently before my husband and I got involved. The 17 year old did not and has not adjusted to his parents being apart let alone being remarried. He is constantly angry and lashing out at all. He desperately needs counseling but refuses to go. I bite my tongue every day at the stuff he says. But it''s not my place to say things right now.

So, looking back, my husband probably needed to find out how his son was feeling before introducing me to him, let alone getting married. We got married within 9 months of starting to date. The timing was right for "us" but not for the 17 year old. Not sure if there would have ever been a "right" time to him, but maybe another year would have helped.
 

ImpatientOne

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Oct 19, 2006
Messages
1,394

How long did you date before dating exclusively? About two months




How long did you date before both of you knew you were in love? Around three months




How long before you knew he/she was "the one" you wanted to marry? Three to four months




How long to engagement? We were engaged on Christmas Eve, a little over 8 months after we met




It seems that when dating in our 20s we tend to get with one guy/girl, be exclusive for a few years and if it ends in marriage, great, if not start again with someone new. Others, and especially those who are older, seem to date more people at one time for a longer time to avoid wasting years hoping the one exclusive relationship would last.




What would you do if you were dating with kids and in your 40s? I am in my 40's - I'll be 46 in a couple of weeks. I had been a single mom for any, many years and did not date at all until about two and a half years ago. All those years I decided would be better spent focusing on my kids and my career. While I was lonely, I do not regret that choice. My kids definitely benefited form all of my attention without distractions!

When I first stated dating agaiin, my youngest child was 15. In the two and a half years of dating, I was not in an exclusive relationship (meaning I multi-dated) until I met my fiance. I casually dated a lot of different guys at the same time before I met my fiance. I knew that I wanted to be married again one day, and didn't want to waste too much time with one person, so I dated many, trying to sort through the frogs. Once I met my fiance, though, I knew right away they he could be "the one" .I knew from the first date he was different. He went on an overseas deployment for two months within hours of our first date, so we spent the first two months getting to know one another via phone calls and email. When he came back there was no looking back - we were exclusive from that point on.

 

lawmax

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Dec 31, 1999
Messages
1,317
I love reading all of your stories...they are so sweet!

We''ll see if the "one" pops up for me. For now, I''m trying to keep an open mind and promised myself I''d date a few people at least. I fell head over heels in my last relationship, which lasted 2 rocky years. Yes, I''ve ended it. He was "the one". Unfortunately, it was in another lifetime!
 

anchor31

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 18, 2005
Messages
7,074

...dating exclusively? 8 months


How long did you date before both of you knew you were in love? We decided to date exclusively when we admitted our love to each other, so 8 months.


How long before you knew he/she was "the one" you wanted to marry? After starting to date exclusively, it took me 16 months, but I think it took him about 5. I remember he told me I was "the One", and I nearly panicked! I was only 18 at the time, he was 22. About a year later when I saw that he loved me enough to let me go so far away to pursue my dreams, I started thinking that maybe he could be someone I could marry!


How long to engagement? 3 years minus 6 weeks of dating exclusively.
 

KristenK98

Rough_Rock
Joined
Jan 13, 2007
Messages
6
Our story is a little different.

I knew him through working and through friends. As a huge group, we would start going out for drinks and things like that after work, that''s where I got to know him a little more. Two weeks of doing that one of our very close friends/co-workers passed away very suddently and was pretty hard on a lot of us. I knew the morning that our friend had died and when my bf was the first person I had called that there was something more to our relationship. We had to travel to our friends funeral, which he talked to me the entire time and made me feel very comfortable with doing something that I avoid like the plague (going to a funeral). We went out on our first date 2 weeks after that, and we were exclusive since that first date. Had our first kiss 2 weeks after that...that''s when I knew he was the one.

I''m expecting (hopefully have my suspicions about) a proposal in October...after that, it''ll be a 2 year engagement. (It''ll take me that long to plan it. HA!)
 

Cehrabehra

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 29, 2006
Messages
11,071
Date: 1/15/2007 9:39:21 AM
Author:lawmax
...dating exclusively?

How long did you date before both of you knew you were in love?

How long before you knew he/she was 'the one' you wanted to marry?

How long to engagement?

It seems that when dating in our 20s we tend to get with one guy/girl, be exclusive for a few years and if it ends in marriage, great, if not start again with someone new. Others, and especially those who are older, seem to date more people at one time for a longer time to avoid wasting years hoping the one exclusive relationship would last.

What would you do if you were dating with kids and in your 40s?
exclusive? .... we never actually discussed this lol
from WWSD (when we started dating) to when we fell in love - a month, less than 2
from WWSD "the one" - about 8 months or 9
from WWSD it was 10 mos to engagement
from WWSD how long to marriage? 11 mos
from WWSD how long to kids? 4 years TO THE DAY
from WWSD to now? 16 years and 5 months

I admire people who put off dating while they have kids at home - but I don't think I'd do that lol

My best friend is a psychologist and she's single and we've talked about this sort of stuff for hours and hours over the decades... I got married young, she never has... and we both believe in what we call the filter system. Basically you figure out what you want and you get rid of anyone who isn't making the cut. No sense wasting years on a man that has too many issues or differences for a life mate. If I were single again I would probably go online and strike up a long term written relationship that turned into a phone relationship before it ever turned physical. One of the reasons I attribute to the success of my marriage is that that whole first year we were together he was living across the country from me and i saw him three times including when he proposed but we spent hours on the phone. many many hours. I'd known him since we were 5 and 3 so i didn't need to ask him questions about his past or his family but I quizzed him daily on "what would you do if....... I weighed 500 pounds or was in a coma or couldn't have children or became an alcoholic or asked you to never drink again or or or or or or lol!!
 

lawmax

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Dec 31, 1999
Messages
1,317
Date: 1/15/2007 11:17:51 PM
Author: Cehrabehra
Date: 1/15/2007 9:39:21 AM

Author:lawmax

...dating exclusively?


How long did you date before both of you knew you were in love?


How long before you knew he/she was ''the one'' you wanted to marry?


How long to engagement?


It seems that when dating in our 20s we tend to get with one guy/girl, be exclusive for a few years and if it ends in marriage, great, if not start again with someone new. Others, and especially those who are older, seem to date more people at one time for a longer time to avoid wasting years hoping the one exclusive relationship would last.


What would you do if you were dating with kids and in your 40s?
exclusive? .... we never actually discussed this lol

from WWSD (when we started dating) to when we fell in love - a month, less than 2

from WWSD ''the one'' - about 8 months or 9

from WWSD it was 10 mos to engagement

from WWSD how long to marriage? 11 mos

from WWSD how long to kids? 4 years TO THE DAY

from WWSD to now? 16 years and 5 months


I admire people who put off dating while they have kids at home - but I don''t think I''d do that lol


My best friend is a psychologist and she''s single and we''ve talked about this sort of stuff for hours and hours over the decades... I got married young, she never has... and we both believe in what we call the filter system. Basically you figure out what you want and you get rid of anyone who isn''t making the cut. No sense wasting years on a man that has too many issues or differences for a life mate. If I were single again I would probably go online and strike up a long term written relationship that turned into a phone relationship before it ever turned physical. One of the reasons I attribute to the success of my marriage is that that whole first year we were together he was living across the country from me and i saw him three times including when he proposed but we spent hours on the phone. many many hours. I''d known him since we were 5 and 3 so i didn''t need to ask him questions about his past or his family but I quizzed him daily on ''what would you do if....... I weighed 500 pounds or was in a coma or couldn''t have children or became an alcoholic or asked you to never drink again or or or or or or lol!!

Every guy who writes me via online dating wants to call right away and asks me out during the first call. They don''t like it if I want to establish an email relationship first. I read "The rules for online dating" and the whole emphasis seemed to be to get the guy to want to call! Maybe things have changed and guys don''t want to waste time or maybe it''s my age category. I don''t like feeling pressured and refused to call one guy who insisted I call him back or nothing. That was a red flag for me!

I like the line someone here used...something like, "I don''t date potential". I''ve made my lists and am winging it less. Emotions are emotions and feelings are feelings, but I''m not 20, I have 2 kids, and I''ve seen the disaster that happens, when 2 yeaars down the road, I find myself in a relationship with a guy who has no income and can''t afford to be a family guy, even though he''s really sweet to me in other ways. I don''t earn enough to support a guy and my kids and, frankly, that is a real turnoff! I don''t need an assistant (well, I do with working full-time), I need or at least desire a full partner.
 

sumbride

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 17, 2006
Messages
3,867
Date: 1/16/2007 6:09:00 AM
Author: lawmax

Every guy who writes me via online dating wants to call right away and asks me out during the first call. They don''t like it if I want to establish an email relationship first. I read ''The rules for online dating'' and the whole emphasis seemed to be to get the guy to want to call! Maybe things have changed and guys don''t want to waste time or maybe it''s my age category. I don''t like feeling pressured and refused to call one guy who insisted I call him back or nothing. That was a red flag for me!
Eww... high pressure is for used car salesman, not for dating! While I think its a good idea not to drag the email out too long before you actually physically speak, for fear of building a false intimacy, actually talking to him should feel natural, something you''re excited to do, not something you were pressed into doing. I think a lot of guys online are looking for something short-term, immediate gratification... definitely not all of them, but a lot of them. They want to get on the phone so they can see you that night. That doesn''t make for "long-term" success, of course. And it certainly turns most women off... which is good. Maybe eventually they''ll stop doing it? At least you know what you want and what you won''t deal with. That counts for a lot.

But this is coming from guys that write to you... have you tried to write to any guys yet? My FI was the shy guy at the top of my match list that hadn''t even posted a photo. He sounded "normal" and he mentioned my favorite band, so I shot him a quick "hi" and started the conversation. I knew that way I was pursuing somebody I might be interested in, not being pursued by somebody that made me queasy. And believe me, there were a lot of guys that fit that "queasy test". I''m glad I went for the shy guy. And I love the looks on the faces of people who ask how we met.
 

RoseAngel04

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jun 8, 2006
Messages
865
...dating exclusively? around 4 months. It's funny bc all along he and I hadn't been seeing or talking with anyone else, but didn't become official "item" until 4 months later.

How long did you date before both of you knew you were in love? hm..around 5 months


How long before you knew he/she was "the one" you wanted to marry? From the beginning I *knew* there was something special and unique about him. We met young (HS sweethearts!!) so at the beginning for both us of we weren't expecting to find our future husband/wife, but now we are so glad that we have! So...I'd say within the first year and half I knew he was the one I wanted for the rest of my life! He was a year ahead of me in school so I knew the testing point would be when he began college while I was in my senior year in HS...but we made it and look where we are now! Getting married in a little over 6 months!!!


How long to engagement? My sweetheart propsed on the eve of our 4 year anniversary!!!
 

larussel03

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Oct 22, 2005
Messages
1,747
How long did you date before dating exclusively?
About 2 months in it was official although he and I didn''t steadily date anyone else in this time.
How long did you date before both of you knew you were in love?
About 6 months or so
How long before you knew he/she was "the one" you wanted to marry?
Pretty much right away
How long to engagement?
5 years

What would you do if you were dating with kids and in your 40s?
I honestly have no idea.
 

grapegravity

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Nov 24, 2003
Messages
486
How long did you date before both of you knew you were in love?
Ten days
How long before you knew he/she was "the one" you wanted to marry?
1 months
How long to engagement?
I''m still engaged, and it has been 4 years so far...
 

firebirdgold

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 30, 2005
Messages
2,216
1) We weren''t dating other people at the time, so there wasn''t a decision to be exculsive. But neither of us were the sort of person to be non-exculsive past casual match.com coffee dates. Besides from the moment I laid eyes on him I had no interest in anyone else.

2) I fell for him the moment I saw him, but it took a few weeks before I''d admit we were anything other than friends to myself. I knew I was in love when we first kissed. (We were both slow movers when dating)

3) My memory is a little hazy on this part. I think it was less than a month from the first kiss. Probably more like a couple of weeks.


4) It kinda depends on if you start the clock from when we met (which I do) or when we first started to ''date'' (which he does but refuses to tell me when he thinks that was). So we got engaged somewhere between 21-22 months from the start.

We''ll be married 31 months after we met.


Oh, and I''ll be turning 35 this year and he''ll be turning 30.
 

bee*

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
May 14, 2006
Messages
12,170
D and I started dating exclusively straight away. I was 17 and he was 18 and we were each others first proper boyfriend and girlfriend.
He told me that he loved me after 3 months, I wasnt completely sure so I didnt tell him back for another month until I was certain. I feel really bad about that now but there wasnt a point in telling him I loved him when I wasnt 100% sure.
I knew that I wanted to marry him about 2 years after being together, although I remember when we were going out about 5 months thinking in my head that I couldnt see anything splitting us up.
We are going to get engaged this summer. We will be going out 8 years in July and for us it is going to be a good time to get engaged as although Ive gone back to college we are financially ready to move forwards and we both feel ready to take the next step
 

Nurseynurse

Rough_Rock
Joined
Oct 20, 2006
Messages
22

...dating exclusively? We started dating exclusively December 23 2001 I was 17 and he was 26...lol He was my first and only boyfriend.


How long did you date before both of you knew you were in love? About 6 months into the relationship my dad passed and he has been my rock and support system ever since. We believe that''s what built and strengthen our relationship.


How long before you knew he/she was "the one" you wanted to marry? 3 years into the relationship


How long to engagement? We have been together 4 years and 10 months before he asked me to marry him. Our original plan was after 5 years.


It seems that when dating in our 20s we tend to get with one guy/girl, be exclusive for a few years and if it ends in marriage, great, if not start again with someone new. Others, and especially those who are older, seem to date more people at one time for a longer time to avoid wasting years hoping the one exclusive relationship would last.


What would you do if you were dating with kids and in your 40s? I honestly don''t know...

 

dani13

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 12, 2004
Messages
6,183
dating exclusively? We acutally dated 2 separate times. The first time was for a couple of months and very casual, and that was it. I always liked him though, he really intrigued me. For other reasons though, we went our separate ways. After about a year (we stayed friends) we re-kindled our romance. For the first few wks of us dating the second time, I was still seeing someone else, FI knew about it...After a couple of wks, I called it off with the other guy- no big deal. I had only been seeing him for a couple of months, and again, it was very casual.

How long did you date before both of you knew you were in love?
I would say about 6 months. We are both very cautious people...I always knew when I found the person I wanted to spend my life with, it wouldn't be a "love at first sight" situation or anything spontaneous at all. That is just not how I think. FI is the same way. IMO, falling in love takes time and experiences shared together to get to that level.

How long before you knew he/she was 'the one' you wanted to marry? Once we hit that 6 month mark, I realized I was in love and never wanted to be without him. I am pretty sure he felt the same.

How long to engagement? A little over 2 years.




What would you do if you were dating with kids and in your 40's? Oh geez, for once I am actually stumped. It's tough out there, especially more so I'd imagine if you are in your 40's and have children to think about. Tough situation.

eta: we are 28 (me) and 32.

 

monarch64

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Aug 12, 2005
Messages
17,758
Hmm.. well let me preface this by saying at 24 I had my mind set towards my career, and was actually planning my life around NOT getting married or having children! I did a lot of "tasting" as far as dating, with a sprinkling of LTR''s from the time I was 16 to 24, but didn''t spend a lot of time or put a lot of stock into the guys who I did stick with for more than 3-4 dates...I guess you might say I had a fear of committment? Looking back, though, I just never felt after those few dates or a couple months or even a couple years at one point that someone was "the one" for me.

That being said...

I met my now husband of 3.5 years while on a date with another guy in a different city. It''s basically one of those scandalous/love at first site stories. I had dated the guy I was with for a month, and two dates into our "relationship" he''d asked me to go to Chicago (we both lived in Indy at the time) for a weekend to see a White Sox game and tour the city. I accepted, but about a week before we went I was having reservations about him already...just knew he wasn''t "the one!" He asked me before we went if I would consider dating him exclusively and I said no, but he said he would like me to go with him anyway, even if the relationship went no further than the friendship it had become. We ended up walking into a bar on Rush st. the night we arrived in Chicago, and not 15 minutes later this man walked in and we locked eyes. Sort of a tragic situation, but we both knew we had a bead on each other and my DH''s "wingman" came up to us and started talking to my date, to give myself and this total stranger a chance to chat. One thing led to another, and I ended up spending the entire weekend in Chicago with this "stranger--" the man who is now my DH!

We both knew from the night we met that we were exclusive, and made that decision verbally the same night.

We dated LD for about 4 months, but about two months after we met he began talking about marriage, and I felt the same. I ended up finding a great job in Chicago and moved here...that was maybe 6-7 months into the relationship (from the point we met).

We were engaged 14 months after meeting, and married 9 months after he proposed. So I knew him basically 2 years before we were married, and have now been married 3 years and 4.5 months. (met him Sept. 2001, engaged Dec. 2001, married Sept. 2003.)

There is just no specific time frame that is correct. It is totally based on what works for you in your life, and what you feel you need to do, and the love you have for each other. I really think there is no right or wrong when it comes to love, timeframes, marriage, kids, etc. One thing I can say is that life is too short not to enjoy every minute, and thankfully I met someone who held to that philosophy as much as I did.

As for your last question of what you would do if you had kids and were in your 40''s...I really can''t answer that one, and won''t even try. We don''t have children yet (we are now 29 and 36), but we would love to expand our current family which now includes two wonderful dogs, and when it happens, if it happens, so be it. First and foremost we are happy with each other and our marriage for the most part, and whatever will be, will be. The biggest lesson I learned from meeting my DH was to have an open mind and not worry too much about what others think, but in your case it is certainly most important to have your kids'' best interests in mind. Good luck!
 

Scooba

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Apr 10, 2006
Messages
431
...dating exclusively? about a year and a half, we met a a party in college when I was 18 and pretty much had a college type of relationship

How long did you date before both of you knew you were in love? 2 years since we met, about 6 months after being exclusive

How long before you knew he/she was "the one" you wanted to marry? I don''t know

How long to engagement? from the time we met? 4.5 years
 

musey

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Sep 30, 2006
Messages
11,242
Date: 1/15/2007 9:39:21 AM
Author:lawmax
...dating exclusively?
Less than 1 week
How long did you date before both of you knew you were in love?
Just over 1 month is when we started saying it--and thought we were in love--but I think we really started feeling it a little later (I can't speak for him, but I knew at 6 months)
How long before you knew he/she was 'the one' you wanted to marry?
About a year for both of us I think (that's when he started casually looking at rings).
How long to engagement?
3 years, if all goes according to plan! (Should be sometime this winter). Yes, you did your math right--he's been looking at rings for TWO YEARS. If ever there were a man who takes his time, it's J.

What would you do if you were dating with kids and in your 40s?
Probably would have moved a little slower in the beginning, but engagement would have happened a lot faster. It took a little while for us (well, ok, mostly him) to adjust to the idea of engagement at our age.


I think we fit your hypothesis for younger couples
 

firstbase32

Shiny_Rock
Joined
May 12, 2006
Messages
366
We''ve been dating for almost 6 years (we''re Juniors in college and dated since I was a freshman in high school and she was in 8th grade) pretty amazing stuff...

...dating exclusively? We talked for about 4 or 5 months before we (actually I decided because she was madly in love with me and I had my eyes on another girl and then was convinced to date her)

How long did you date before both of you knew you were in love? About 4 months when she went away for a week with her family on vacation and she called and I ended up crying because I missed her


How long before you knew he/she was "the one" you wanted to marry? I remember talking to kids and tell them that I was going to marry her when I was a sophomore in high school. But also being a part for my freshman year at college and her senior year really set it in cement that we were going to be together forever. That was the year that really tested us emotionally because I was going all during the week and busy with school and meeting new people that we only talked late at night...many cell phone minutes were used up


How long to engagement? We dated like 5 years and 2 months before we were engaged and will be engaged for 11 months before we''re married.....only 4 more to go :)


But honestly she''s the most amazing person in my life and I don''t know what I''d did without her. She leaves for Florida for a children''s conference (her major is children''s ministry) and I have like 4 days where she''ll be gone and I''m going to be BORED out of my mind haha...maybe i''ll come here for support

 

Officers girl

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jan 16, 2007
Messages
218
He says he fell in love the first week for me it took about 8 months, but from our first date on it was exclusive.He didnt want to see anyone else and neither did I.

It was really mundane figuring out I wanted to marry him. I just really to a look at him without love and I tried to see the things that we were going to encounter in the future and would I want him by my side, the answer kept coming up yes so it wasnt anything special more just a readyness.

6 months after we met he proposed I know it seems so fast but it really wasnt we moved in together 4 months after we met. It sounds so irresponsible to type it out but for us there has never really been a question of our future together we fit and it works.

If I had children and were dating at any age I would not introduce my children to this man until I was sure of it, im not really a big fan of having boyfriends wander in an out of childrens lives.
 

lawmax

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Dec 31, 1999
Messages
1,317
Date: 1/17/2007 11:24:09 AM
Author: Officers girl


If I had children and were dating at any age I would not introduce my children to this man until I was sure of it, im not really a big fan of having boyfriends wander in an out of childrens lives.
I''m not a fan of boyfriends wandering in and out of childrens'' lives either. I guess we do our best on when to introduce.

I have a new date tonight. A fix-up. We''ll see how it goes. My neighbor''s theory is that any man who is over 40 and has never been married has big issues. Too big a generalization?
 
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