How involved were you in the selection of your e-ring?

[makhro82]

This was sparked by my recent post about whether the ring is for the giver or the recipient.

 

[centralsquare]

I chose all the way because I didn't feel like I just have some hints. I gave the parameters, but I wasn't officially allowed to participate. If I had been involved I would have gone with a step cut but since it's harder to choose one I just went with RB and provided specifics.

 

[maplefemme]

I said all the way, we both knew nothing about diamonds and it was a big learning curve for us both.
It was good that we collaborated because he was on a very different page to me. We are both in the medical profession and he was thinking something very flat and "practical", for work, not my taste at all...

 

[slg47]

very involved...I approved the final CADs and then did not see pictures of the ring or anything until he proposed

FI was very happy that I was involved...he didn't want the pressure of spending so much $$ on something he wasn't sure I was going to like! in the end he really liked the ring too he didn't really have any hard and fast preferences about it but we did seem to gravitate towards the same things.

 

[manderz]

I picked it all out. In fact, the setting was mine already, but with one of those princessas (yanno, the 4 little princess cuts squished together to look like one bigger one). He pretty much wanted as little to do with it as possible.

 

[marcy]

I voted not at all. We got engaged 21 years ago and my ering was a complete surprise. My upgrades however we both picked out.

 

[ame]

DH knows how much I DESPISE surprises. There's very little I hate less. Control freak maybe...

But he also doesn't think that's something you just do without the wearer's involvement. He wouldn't want me returning it because he just guessed.

 

[ZahraLeyla]

I haven't received my engagement ring yet, but so far I:

• found the stone
  negotiated the purchase
  organised the shipping to us in Australia
  found a jeweller to set it
  worked out a custom design for the setting with the jeweller
  organised shipping to the jeweller in New Zealand
  booked flights to New Zealand to collect it
  booked accommodation in New Zealand

So yeah, I'd say I've been pretty involved so far The only thing I won't get a say in is the proposal itself.

 

[AndGabe]

FI proposed with a half carat (and an awesome upgrade policy), with the intent to shop for the "real" ring together. We looked at probably 20 stones before we found our 0.95ct RB. FI will veto anything he dislikes, and leave everything else up to me.

 

[Circe]

I did all the footwork on my e-ring, and have on all the jewelry since, because, well, I LIKE jewelry and shopping! My husband, on the other hand, hates shopping ... but loves to see me happy. Win-win!

Thing is, PS is kind of a group of self-selected weirdos, by the standards of society at large. Happier than most, though, I'd guess ....

 

[Lula]

Chose my original ring and my anniversary upgrade. No surprise proposal either, by choice. That's a custom I'd like to see go away for good, because I don't believe a commitment to marry should come as a surprise -- orchestrated or not -- to either party.

 

[Laila619]

I voted not at all. We got engaged 21 years ago and my ering was a complete surprise. My upgrades however we both picked out.

Same. Picked out upgrade, but my e-ring was done by my husband.

 

[pmbspyder]

I chose "a few helpful hints" because I'm the guy and I only allowed her to give me some good guidelines and tips and such after we did some window shopping and trying on. Needless to say, I have a VERY good understanding of what she wants and I can't wait to give it to her!

 

[Aoife]

I chose "a few helpful hints" because I'm the guy and I only allowed her to give me some good guidelines and tips and such after we did some window shopping and trying on. Needless to say, I have a VERY good understanding of what she wants and I can't wait to give it to her!

One can only hope.....

 

[KaeKae]

This was 24 years ago. I was not involved at all, so it came as a complete surprise. I didn't know he already had a stone, and I guess it's a good thing he went with the classic solitaire, as I have no idea what I would have wanted. My reset two years ago was all by me, he just said, "get what you want and let me know when you get it."

 

[CharmyPoo]

Hubby and I went to look at rings and we both instantly loved the Daniel K split crown ring. He didn't want a round and went down the cushion path .. so I got hooked too. I stayed out of it at first but he isn't a nit picky type and we weren't happy with the first ring. I then took over and did the second one.

 

[Dreamer_D]

I gave my husband a photo of an emerald cut blue sapphire in a split shank setting and said, "I would like this please!" And then he went out and got me that

 

[Missy]

Not at all but I was involved 100% in all of my resets. All 3 of them

The proposal was a complete surprise, I mean totally out of the blue and shocking as I never wanted to get married and I made that clear from the get go. But after 4 years of dating my dh had different ideas and when he proposed (in the most romantic and sweet way) I almost fainted from the shock of it all and I was pretty terrified of the prospect of getting married. It took a few days for the shock to wear off and then when I really had a chance to admire the ring I decided it wasn't the ring I wanted to wear forever. Don't get me wrong, my dh has great taste in everything but it just wasn't my forever ring. Since I had never thought about marriage I also never gave a thought about an engagement ring so I had lots of catching up to do and it took 3 times (twice before the wedding LOL) to get it right.

Though, as I posted before, my preference seems to keep changing so if I had the funds I just might reset again.

 

[Smith1940]

I did not have any involvement at all, but he did take a friend of ours with him and she had the final say on my diamond, how about that!! He was going to get a larger diamond with a lower cut grade but she said a smaller one with a top-grade cut was much better - she was right about that. He couldn't see the extra sparkle and she could. But anyway, regardless of the diamond type, the whole ring was not what I wanted at all. He wanted to give me a huge surprise, but I am very picky about my jewelry and he got it very wrong. It was just a miscommunication. Anyway, the actual diamond was - is - very nice, and the way I squared it with myself was that I got the setting customized at a local jeweler. It was a boring old six-prong setting which overpowered the diamond - it looked like it was sitting in a basket. I had it changed to my beloved bezel setting. But acting skills were required to appear delighted when I was so disappointed, and I would not recommend the whole surprise route at all. He doesn't know about my real reaction to the ring as it was given with the best of intentions. I customized it and now like it very much, but I am utterly passionate about jewelry and would have liked the pleasure of shopping for a ring. It was a long time before I was OK with what had happened and came to terms with the fact that I would never be able to shop for that kind of significant item - that it only happens once in a lifetime and I had missed my chance in life to do that. But it all worked out in the end - I love it now.

 

[motownmama]

Both the engagement and the ring were total surprises!!

 

[jessilee99]

I picked out my ring entirely on my own. My husband proposed via satellite phone from from Iraq. Told me to pick something I liked, gave me the budget we had to work with. What seemed like 5 minutes after he was boots on the ground he proposed 'for real' with the ring I bought with his money and gave him to give to me. 7 years later, I'm still VERY happy with it, it's exactly what I wanted and I still love staring at it, especially in the car when the sun hits it just right.

 

[Gypsy]

I picked three vendors, he visited five and bought from one I had picked out and talked to with specs. I also gave him specs for the diamonds. And I showed him what type of temporary setting I wanted. He picked the stone and proposed.

 

[SB621]

I picked out the setting and DH picked out the center diamond, which we then upgraded 3 years later.

 

[ideal5555]

all the way which also means not the most romantic proposal at all... but i didn't mind

I also found the stone,
we looked through settings together,
he nodded on my dream style,
I found the goldsmith,
we went to pick it up together!

 

[smc7277]

He almost bought me something on his own, way overpriced for the quality. It was a simple 1 ct princess solitaire- pretty ring but it was not a great diamond. I ended up with a family stone and I picked out the setting myself- he never saw it till he picked it up from the jeweler.

 

[Eilonwy]

Mine was a total surprise. I definitely don't recommend it. Sometimes I wish men would understand that they would actually save money if they involved women in these things. Half the 'upgrades' are simply because the woman wants to change to the style she would have liked, not necessarily something flashier or more expensive. My H2B was concerned I would miss out on the surprise if I picked the ring myself, but ironically I hate surprises and when I see couples shopping for their engagement rings in shops I get sad I missed out on that experience. Just goes to show... times have changed

 

[Smith1940]

Eilonwy - I just wanted to say that I totally know how you feel, and it's nice to hear that someone else feels the same way. I am sad too that I will never have the experience of choosing the most significant piece of jewelry I will ever own. That's the chance, down the drain, forever, and I was never a part of it. I am so picky about my jewelry and also I don't really want to wear something every day for the rest of my life that's been dictated to me by someone else. I am very much the independent type and when it comes to jewelry I really know what I like. As a result, I have spent quite a lot of money getting other pieces of jewelry for myself that I might not have bought if my ring had been my dream ring. Also, I don't wear my engagement ring very much, I just wear my wedding ring which I did pick out myself! It's a 2mm platinum band, completely plain. But I have slim fingers and wear a lot of black, and I think it looks so chic on its own. FYI, he bought me a solitaire and I don't really like them, they look naked and lonely on the band, to me! I prefer the dress-ring styles - which are also much cheaper usually, than buying one larger diamond!! And you're right, times have indeed changed. So if any man out there is wondering whether to go the surprise route or not, my input is: Don't do it! The proposal could always be a surprise and then you could do the ring together.

 

[sapphirering]

I picked all the way. DH suggested ring shopping, and back then I had virtually zero interest in jewelry, so I took him to Tiffany. After he recovered from the sticker shock and regained consciousness ( ), I got to work. Thanks to PS, I learned about the importance of cut, polish, symmetry, etc. This was before the idealscope and ASET. I ended up choosing my stone from an online vendor (not a PS vendor) and had it shipped to DH. When he proposed and I got the ring, I decided that I didn't like the 4 prong stock setting that came with the stone, so I did more research to find a 6 prong setting that I liked (thanks to PS, too.)

I do agree with a previous poster that the PS population is probably not representative of the overall population "out there". I would suggest that even if your girlfriend isn't a major jewelry person, if she is detail-orientated and has specific tastes, she'll most likely want to have some input in the ring selection.

 

[HopeDream]

I took care of the ring and he popped the question. It worked for us

If I ever wanted him to surprise me with a computer - he'd be all over it, but diamonds are really my department.

 

[septembergirl]

I was involved all the way. My husband handled the financial part and made the contacts and I spent time looking at styles and researching stones. He initially didn't propose with a ring because he was afraid he would've picked something I wouldn't like. He's also not the type of guy to pour over ring designs and diamond shapes, etc.--he told me that it was too overwhelming! He knew how much I loved educating myself about diamonds and for many years he kept hearing me talk more and more about the geeky side of them... Ultimately he felt more comfortable if I picked what I wanted since I knew more than he did. I loved his proposal and I am glad we took our time to find the right ring. We continued to save our money and during that time I was without my engagement ring, I wore my grandmother's ruby ring.