How involved are your bridesmaids?

[Dannielle]

I am just wanting to know who people chose as their bridesmaids and how involved they have been?

I have two bridesmaids, one who has been a star and has been an absolute life-saver with letting me talk/vent about how the plans have been coming along and she has helped plan and organise alot of details, and my other bridesmaid doesn''t really seem fussed about the wedding and I think she will just turn up on the day

 

[that_someone_special]

Two- barely around for wedding stuff. Anything else, they are.... another thread for another day.

At this point I''m just not gonna worry about it.

 

[mrscushion]

My bridesmaids are my two best friends from college and FI''s sister.

We''re all scattered around the world, so they haven''t been too involved. That said, I''m not really sure how I would have really involved them up to this point. I think they''re great and I trust that when I do need them to do something come wedding day, they''ll be there for me.

 

[monkeyprincess]

I don''t expect my bridesmaids to do anything other than wear their dress and stand up with me at the ceremony. Anything else is a bonus.

 

[Prana]

My matron of honour has been great! She planned my bachelorette party, she was very helpful with my shower, and has been excited for us all along. My maid of honour just sort of shows up to everything, and doesn''t hesitate to let people know, that SHE IS THE MAID OF HONOUR!. My other two bridesmaids are the same. All supportive and excited, but I really just don''t think they are aware of what is typically involved in all this.

But, I feel like all they really are required to do is wear the dress, do the hair and stand there and smile for me on my wedding. Anything else they decide to do is extra, and much appreciated!

 

[mayachel]

Mine are very supportive and happy to hear the details, one spent a significant time looking at photos of shoes and flowers early on, on-line. But everyone lives far far away. For example-two are in other countries. So, of my four, two will be at the shower. From the start I told them I just wanted them with me on the day. I didn''t/don''t expect much more from them.

 

[ladypirate]

I have 5 bridesmaids--my two best friends, my two sisters and FI''s sister. They have all been awesome! FI''s sister lives far away, so she isn''t as involved, but I am so honored that she agreed to stand up with us (she has some social anxiety stuff so it''s a big deal for her). Everyone else has just been awesome. I''m really looking forward to my shower two weeks from today!

 

[caribqueen]

I have one MOH and 6 BMs (although one may not make it because of her ill father). I suspect they will show up to my parent''s house to get dressed and then stand up with me at the Ceremony. My MOH has been helpful with running errands and other non-wedding related stuff. Another one helped me a bit with invitations. I''ll probably ask those same two to help me assemble welcomg bags. I know my MOH has planned my shower, but I don''t know how involved the other girls have been.

 

[gwendolyn]

Mine weren''t involved at all, but that''s because they were 4 and 7 and were added in by my mother-in-law a few days before the wedding without consulting me.

 

[KittyGolightly]

Date: 5/2/2010 11:43:32 AM
Author: gwendolyn
Mine weren''t involved at all, but that''s because they were 4 and 7 and were added in by my mother-in-law a few days before the wedding without consulting me.

Gwen, you''re a saint.

 

[laughwithme]

My bridesmaids have been as involved as I ask them to. My thing is, I am so type A, and I have a serious issue "handing" duties/crafts/etc. over - I just like to be super involved in every part of my wedding, so I haven''t ASKED for much help. However, my bridesmaids have all consistently said, "anything you need - let us know!!!" whether through email, phone, text, whatever. I wouldn''t hesitate for a second to ask them to run an errand for me, and I have no doubt they would fulfill any request I ask, within reason. My MOH has begged to be involved in all the DIY stuff so I invite her over often and we double-team the projects.

Also, they have been planning my bachelorette party for months and apparently have a super fun day/night planned, and I know they are all contributing financially to that. My family sort of took over the bridal shower planning but my MOH is doing a game or two for it.

I have been very blessed with 3-4 super close friends whom I''ve known for years....and thus any bridesmaids troubles have been nonexistent.

 

[princessplease]

None of them have been involved in any wedding day related stuff. MOH did the shower, and one BM has planned the bach party. Other than that, I know there has been a LOT of behind the scenes drama with them that MOH has specifically not told me.

 

[yssie]

Not at all. They would have no issue being asked to help with stuff, but there''s just not much for them to do. Wedding''s in Sept. and they''re already planning the logistics of my shower and bachelorette party (I''m not supposed to know

), which I find really sweet.

 

[lulu66]

i have four. all have been willing to be helpful. a few slightly more than others.

my sis (who''s only 2 years younger than me) is super helpful & listens & offers opinions.

my two besties (both of whom are also engaged). they are helpful b/c we''re all going through the same thing and understand how stressful it can be. plus we''re all researching & help each other w/vendors & stuff. (or course now that i''ve moved thousands of miles away, they can''t help me w/vendor recs but i tell them my choices, pros/cons, they offer opinions).

my littlest sis (who''s 10 years younger) has been the least helpful but this is what i expected. she''s a freshman in college & much more concerned w/her school & social life. she does help when requested, so that''s enough for me

so far i''ve had no "bad incidents" w/ my bms but again i picked two family members & my two best friends of 10+ years. we all know each other pretty well at this point.

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 5/2/2010 1:15:47 PM
Author: KittyGolightly

Date: 5/2/2010 11:43:32 AM

Author: gwendolyn

Mine weren't involved at all, but that's because they were 4 and 7 and were added in by my mother-in-law a few days before the wedding without consulting me.

Gwen, you're a saint.

Nah, if I was a saint I'd have to forgive and forget, and I don't anticipate being able to forget this, well, ever.

About bridesmaids & MOHs, I didn't want any and won't have any at my US wedding reception because a) the hierarchy of it really bothers me, and b) they're my friends, not my staff. If anyone wants to offer to help, that's one thing, but I don't expect it from anyone.

 

[megumic]

not. at. all. it''s getting to me a little bit. it''s like a big chore anytime i ask for any help.

 

[jcarlylew]

very involved, i would say! But then again, I haven''t really asked of much. They just threw me a FANTASTIC shower and bachorlette night out; one is making all the bouquets for the wedding and one is making all the favors.

I''ll say I am pretty blessed with this. But like everyone else said, as long as they show up and support our marriage, that is all i need!

 

[elrohwen]

My MOH and BM just showed up on the day. Well, MOH did fly from LA to NYC in order to hang out, visit the venue, and get fitted for her dress - I considered that a big deal because people don't just fly across the country every day. BM came down once to look at BM dresses with me.

They were also available via email if I wanted to run things by them and I kept them updated with my dress choice, but that was it. I didn't expect anything from them at all other than to be there for the rehearsal dinner and wedding. Neither could make the bachelorette party because they lived too far away.

MOH was my best friend from college and BM was my SIL.

 

[sweetpea&babycorn]

i have my MOH (my older sister) and 4 other BMs (younger sister and 3 best friends). both my sisters have been invaluable in helping me look for venues, music, flowers, invitations, etc. 2 of my 3 best friends live far away (Buffalo, NY and Syracuse, NY) so they haven''t been involved at all. my other best friend is a saint! she is the queen of finding resources, i have no idea how she does it. she also keeps me sane with my MOH is driving me nuts (sometimes she acts like she is planning her own wedding even though she isn''t even engaged yet!). since i''m starting school again in the fall, one of my conditions of choosing bridesmaids was to let them know that i will need a lot of help for the wedding, esp as our day gets closer. i feel so lucky because they all in a heartbeat said yes so hopefully when things get really crazy, i will have many shoulders to lean on

 

[winelover23]

Date: 5/2/2010 9:23:46 AM
Author: monkeyprincess
I don''t expect my bridesmaids to do anything other than wear their dress and stand up with me at the ceremony. Anything else is a bonus.

Right there with ya. I''d love it if they were showered too! My MOH is my Sister so she''s pretty involved but one BM is my 12 year old niece so all she cares about is Justin Bieber and shopping at Justice, my other BM is in Cali (I''m in WA) but she''s very supportive and calls and tells me to open a bottle of wine a lot!

 

[LtlFirecracker]

They are helping pick the dresses, will handle ordering them, and plan the shower and bachelorette party.

My MOH is my ear to vent when there is drama, and to bounce off ideas.

I am actually doing the wedding planning, and don''t have much in the way of DYI that I need help with. It is kind of impossible anyways since we live in different states.

 

[CharmyPoo]

As a bridesmaid, I typically plan one or more bachelorettes, organize all the morning games (chinese culture), plan the events of the wedding day, make sure things go smoothly ... and listening to all the crying. Most of all .. suck everything up even though I feel like crying.

My bridesmaids (1 bestfriend, 2 sisters, and 1 unselected yet) hasn't done a whole lot unless I ask. One of my sisters has been with me to multiple dress fittings and meeting with the caterer. My sisters are darlings though and will be there for me when I need them. However, my fiance and I have been doing almost everything alone ...