How far apart in age are your kids?

[iluvcarats]

Does anyone have kids that are far apart in age? I have two now, 9 and 6, and am thinking of one more. But then I think we are so established now, and when my daughter goes to college, this child will be 9. I am worried that this kid will be lonely or feel like an only child (no way I could handle 4)
Please chime in if you have kids far apart, or if there is a big age gap between you and your siblings. Thanks!

 

[fieryred33143]

I am 7 and 6 years older than my brothers. I have *always* felt like an only child and treated my brothers like my babies rather than siblings. And that relationship continues to this day (unfortunately for them

).

It''s different when you are the older one and there''s a big age gap because you are the only child for so long but you don''t really get lonely once they are born. Also when I went to college, I completely missed out on their teen years

and when I finally graduated college I felt like I didn''t even recognize them anymore. They also had a hard time with me going away and would call all the time asking me to come home.

But I love my relationship with my brothers. Like I said, they''re my babies and I''ll do anything for them. And they know this so I think it gives them an extra sense of security (although they do like to play my mom and I against each other sometimes).

 

[cbs102]

My sister and i are 16 months apart and we were basically raised as twins until we were older... my brother is 10 years younger than i am and i have to say, i cannot relate to him at all.. and we are not close at all. he was raised as an only child... and raised completly different than my sister and i were..

 

[Lauren8211]

Ditto Fiery.

My brother is 6 years older than me, and we never had a "sibling" relationship as much as other people. He was very much a parental figure to me, and he thinks of me in that way still. He''ll be the one walking me down the aisle when I marry.

I can''t say enough good things about my relationship with my brother. I loved it, and I''d never change a thing.

 

[Pandora II]

I''m the eldest, next sister ''S'' is 20 months younger, my brother is 5 years younger and my youngest sister ''C'' is 13 years younger than me.

I''ve never really got on with S, we never had anything in common. She was into dolls and I was into guns...

My brother and I always got on very well and we''re still pretty close.

My youngest sister and I are different generations. I went to boarding school about the time she was born and so I never lived at home when she was growing up. We get on great, but it''s not a sibling relationship to be honest.

I''m planning a 5 year age gap and a maximum of 2 kids. I think it''s a nice gap as you get to really enjoy the first child before you have the second.

My sister S had her two kids two years apart (to the day) - I never call her as it''s pointless, all you can hear is two children screaming constantly. I would be asking social services to take ME into care if I had to live with that 24/7.

 

[iluvcarats]

Thanks fiery, Elle, and CBS!

Oh Pandora, you just always crack me up! I

your sarcasm and wit.
How are you feeling? Any chance you''ll name the baby Hope?

 

[*Danielle*]

Me and my brother are 6 years apart, him being the eldest. We have always been really close and still are, despite our differences. I think that is a good gap because we both got attention without growing up alone.

 

[anniee19]

I have two older brothers. One is 18 months older, and the other is 14 years older. And I must say, I have always, always been closer to my oldest brother. When I was little, I always wanted to follow him and his friends around, and he always acted like my "protector." Even today, we have more in common than my brother who is much closer in age.

 

[Miranda]

I do! Mine are 14, almost 13, and almost 6. The boys are 20 mos. apart and DD came alome 7 years after #2. So, when #3 was born the boys were 8 1/2 and 7. Right about where you are now!

I love the gap! I love having three! DH wanted another one, but, it''s not in the cards for us. Sometimes my little one asks for a baby sister, but, I think that is only because adores babies.

Having a third with a big gap is like starting out all over again. Diapers? Gross! I think it depends on your age, too. We were super young when we had our boys. When DD came along we were at a "normal" age for having kids. All our friends and family were having babies, too. There''s never a shortage of kids her age to play with at family events or parties. She and her brothers play together all the time, too. Now that they are all a bit older they have similar interests. They play outside together, ride bikes together, play Playstation together, draw together, etc. My kids are very close despite the age gap. I can''t answer what the future will hold, though. The boys will leave home within two years of each other. She may be left feeling lonely. I highly doubt it! I don''t think the boys will go very far away for college. We all love where we live...It''s a part of us. They both want to go to UCLA or maybe UCSD.

Now for the negatives! With three kids it gets very noisy. Not screaming fits and fighting, (well, not very often anyway

) but, just laughing, talking, singing, musical instruments. It''s hard to keep up on ensuring that everyone gets enough individual attention. Even my oldest at 14 needs a lot of attention. There''s not much time to be alone, either. Especially in the first few years. I''m not the type to need "me" time very often so I think that''s why it''s not a major issue for me.

My personal feeling is that as long as a child is loved and wanted, there''s no "right" or "wrong" time. Of course, that doesn''t make it easy!

 

[Burk]

iluv~That is the exact age gap between my brother, sister and myself!! I was 9 and my sister was 6 when my brother was born. I would say, like the others, I am more of a mother figure to my brother, but we are ALL very close. My mom loved that both my sister and I could help out when my brother was born. Then, when my sister and I were both out of the house in college, my brother loves being the only child!

Yes, he misses us, but we all talk on the phone often and live close enough we visit a lot. Also, my little bro LOVES being an uncle!!!

 

[Pandora II]

Date: 12/3/2008 10:50:21 AM
Author: iluvcarats
Thanks fiery, Elle, and CBS!

Oh Pandora, you just always crack me up! I

your sarcasm and wit.
How are you feeling? Any chance you'll name the baby Hope?

LOL, my mother is the sarcasm queen - I trail in her wake!

The work stuff is not great - I go from rage to feeling calm and confident to feeling like a complete nervous wreck about 20 times a day. Luckily my meds are helping the anxiety and panic attacks a bit. I'm a complete control freak and HATE feeling I haven't got a grip on things.

Otherwise, things are ticking along 16wks 1 day today - I've tried not taking the meds for my morning sickness today. So far so good, but it takes 24hrs to leave my system so I'm being cautiously optimistic!

Thanks for asking

'Hope' not on the list I'm afraid (I have a thing about everyone having a different initial so 'H's and 'A's were out) - Edward John for a boy or Daisy Pandora for a girl are the choices.

 

[joflier]

My brother and I are about 7 1/2 years apart. In a lot of ways I was an only child because he was so much older. But we still did a lot of stuff together. And I always looked up to him. In some ways, I think I was a more mature child because I wanted to relate to him better. And that was a good thing. Another plus was that mom rarely had to get a babysitter once he got to his teen years! When I got to my teen years, we became very close actually, and became close friends to each other. He was my protector. My math homework helper. My furniture mover. My big brother who could reach stuff off the high shelf!

I wouldn''t trade my childhood experience. Granted I have no comparison, and sometimes I thought it would be nice to have a sibling closer in age.....but heck, when I was a kid, I thought I wanted (and I kept asking my folks for) a twin sister, too!

And that wasn''t gonna happen.

 

[DivaDiamond007]

My sister and I are only about a year and a half apart and it was great growing up. We were built-in friends. We get along pretty well these days too. My DH and I have a 5 month old and want to start trying for another when he''s about a year old. We only plan on having 2 kids and don''t want them to be too far apart in age.

Diva

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Well I only have one sooooo far....but I there is a large gap between my brother and myself. Burk''s family and I are almost the same. My sister is 3.5 years older than me. My brother is a little over 6 years younger. There is 10 years between my sister and brother. I think it worked out great. We never fought with my brother. We were like his second and third mommies. We loved to help change his diaper, get him dressed, play with him, etc...I think we have a great relationship with him. I don''t think he ever felt like an only child. He is very mature though. Much more than the average 22 year old guy. I think his birth rank has something to do with that. If you and your DH want a third I say go for it. You are a great mom and one more would only add more love to your life

 

[April20]

I have am the oldest and have a LOT of siblings (both parents remarried, all half siblings). They are 4, 8, 9, 10.5 and 19 years younger than me. The only one I don''t have much of a relationship with is the one 10.5 years younger and that is basically because she''s in college and I live in another state. But I''m working on that. I am EXTREMELY close to my sister that is 8 years younger. We fought like cats and dogs growing up, which I do think was in large part to the age difference, but as we are both adults now, that is long gone. We never fight and we talk constantly. We are close despite that fact that we live 4.5 hours apart. I am also extremely close to my sibling that is 19 years younger, but honestly, he''s more like my child than my sibling.

 

[swingirl]

When kids are 8-10 years apart they probably don''t have much of a relationship with each other growing up but siblings last a lifetime. They marry at different ages to spouses of varying ages so the older everyone gets the less the age difference matters. Your kids will have each other and their families when they are 40, 47, and 50. They can be very close with parallel lives at those ages.

 

[iluvcarats]

Thanks everybody! These are all really good points!

Pandora Sorry about your work situation

I love your name choices!

Tacori Thanks for the sweet compliment! Hope you are feeling better

 

[lauralu]

I have 2 girls
17
13 1/2
and almost 6

My girls are as close as can be. The older two have the most issues with each other. You know teenage attitudes at times.

When our youngest was born from the start she had 3 mommies. My older girls take care of her w/out question. I was worried there would be jealousy or attitude about making room for a baby. Never has this been the case.

My youngest is already talking about how she will not let my oldest move out of the house when she graduates. I know this will be a tough time for them.

When my older two go to see their dad my youngest hates it. She cries when they leave, is fine when they are gone. Than the day they are due home. She spends the day watching out the window off and on waiting for them if I don''t keep her occupied.

Thats our experieince anyway

 

[purselover]

My brother and sister are 6 and 10 years older than me. (I was quite the surprise)and none of us are particularly close with each other. Oddly enough when I was younger we all got along better, I think they liked looking after me and playing with me, but now it turned into a competitive thing, my sister wants the "better" job, the "better" husband that type of stuff. You wouldn''t think it''d be an issue with her having 10 years on me but it is.

Personally I didn''t mind having siblings that much older growing up, I was pretty much an only child, but when they were around it was cool to see what they were doing and I looked up to that.

Honestly though I wouldn''t worry about what your potential child thinks of being so much younger there are advantages and disadvantages to all situations.

 

[IloveAsschers13]

My sister is 3 1/6 (haha I was trying to think of a good way to put it

) and my brother is 4.5 years younger than me. I was close with my cousins when I was younger, never really with my brother and sister. Now my brother and sister are 16 and 17 and they are BEST friends. They do everything together. I am closer with them now, but I think it''s because I am in college and I am not with them every day. We used to fight like cats and dogs (until my brother grew WAY bigger than me... haha 6''1" to my 5''3" he can kick my BUTT!!!). Anyways I was a surprise for my parents, I think as was my brother, so I think that we will grow up to be closer.

Sorry for the rambling!!!

 

[IloveAsschers13]

BTW my boyfriend has two half brothers who are 19 and 20 years younger than him- he is basically an only child! It''s kind of weird actually!

 

[pennquaker09]

My mom hasn''t remarried since she divorced my dad, so I am her only child. However, my dad remarried and he and my stepmom have 3 kids. I''m 24, Logan is 7, Will is 5, and Teagan is almost 4 months.

I think it''s great to have a little bit of a gap. I guess to get some time to breathe and prepare for another infant.

 

[Kaleigh]

My brother was 6 years older than me. We were very close, just not until later. He went away to school, so the day to day stuff wasn''t something that I experienced. We had limited time together as I was growing up. Mom had 6 miscarriages before she had me, that''s why there was such an age gap. My kids are 18 months apart. I really wanted them to be close in age, as I didn''t have that. They were so close when they were little, then as they got older fought a lot. But now as they are adults, they get on very well. Phew....

 

[Cind11]

My sister and I are eleven years apart. She got married when I was only seven. I did envy some of my friends who had siblings around their age and sometimes I felt a bit lonely (really not that often), but I did okay. My kids are two years apart, which I really think is too close. It was hard when my second daughter was born and my first daughter was only two years old. I think in retrospect, three or even four years difference would be ideal. But if you choose to have another child, I think he or she will do fine. Kids adapt so well and your child will too!

 

[icekid]

Do it! My little sister is 10 years younger than I, the oldest, am (with a couple of brothers in there). I was waiting sooo long for a sister haha; I think that made us extra close. Like most siblings, we''ve certainly had our moments, but to this day we remain quite close. And that is saying a lot considering she is a nutty 17 year old. My hubby and I are even taking her on her first trip to Europe in a couple of a months as a graduation present.

I definitely agree that the much older sibling can and often does take on a parental role, though I don''t think this is a bad thing. The person who is always checking on my sister, making sure she is studying for the SAT is me! Boy does she love it too

 

[vespergirl]

I have two brothers - one is four years older than me, and the other is 6 years younger. So, the two boys are 10 years apart. They were BEST FRIENDS growing up - hard to believe, but they shared a bedroom, and the younger one emulated the older one like he was a god, or at least a second dad. They did everything together, and really enjoyed each other''s company. My mom was 23 when she had the first, and 33 when she had the last, so she was done having kids at around what is now the average age, I guess.

Now that we''re adults (36, 32 and 26) we all still get along really well. From what I have read on child psych & family dynamics, sometimes kids that are born very close together (1 or 2 years apart) can have much more sibling rivalry, because they''re competing with each other as peers, instead of easily falling into the "big brother" or "little sister" role. I''m sure it''s not like that in every family, but I have read that.

My son is 2, and we have just started trying for our 2nd child, but even if it takes a year or two that''s fine with me, I''m happy having them be even 4, 5 or 6 years apart.