How does your DH feel about having children?

[diamondfan]

I just find it incredible that people still try to change your mind when you feel strongly about this issue. This is not something you can undo, like, try living in this neighborhood and if you are unhappy, sell the house and move. This is another life. I think if one does not want children, it should be respected. And I also think that you can have a full and great life without having them. It is really a matter of personal choice. And I just am not the type to push and push someone. Now, maybe if when my kids are grown, they tell me they do not want to have kids, I might feel differently! But other than that, I just do not see the point of badgering someone who seems to clearly know their wants and has made their decision.

 

[Aloros]

FI is fairly certain that he does not want any more children. Me? I''m firmly on the fence. I''d always thought I''d be child-free, since I was never very good at dealing with kids, but now I''m a stepmom-to-be to a ten year old. And you know what? I''ve found that when I really want to be, I''m not as awkward as I once was. He''s a good kid at heart, his mother is not heavily involved in his life, and I love him as if he were my own. And in some way, he thinks of himself as "my" kid.

But would I want to do it from the beginning, from scratch? Now that''s a question. At this point in my life, where I am focusing on my career, the answer is a firm "NO". And my position seems to sway a bit from side to side, depending on how well stepson-to-be is behaving that particular day! When it''s bad, I want to curse him with having children EXACTLY like him when he grows up

At ten, stepson-to-be is fairly independent. We live in a very safe neighborhood, so I have no compunctions about letting him wander around and meet other children. He takes a LOT of guidance and teaching, but not a terrible lot of hands-on looking after.

FI and I have just resolved to rethink the situation 5-10 years down the line, after all our friends have or have started having children (and the wave has just started! Our friends are due in September!)

And I don''t know that there is a link between pets and wanting/not wanting children. For my sister, who very much does NOT want children or pets, this is clear. She treats both well, but does not want the responsibility of either 24/7. For my FI, he treats my cat well, LOVED my late Amazu (and the feeling was mutual!), and is sweet-as-can-be with dogs. He just melts. We petsat one of his coworker''s dogs for 2 weeks, and he was REALLY missing her when she left. He keeps wanting her to come back.