How do you spend the holidays with your FIs?

[Treasure43]

Just curious how you all juggle the holidays with your FI and future in-laws. My parents live 9 hours away so we only get to see them three times a year. We agreed to switch on and off with Christmas one year for my family and Thanksgiving the same year for his family. However, after spending this Christmas with my family and spending Thanksgiving with his and having a Christmas celebration with his family when we got back from seeing my parents, I can''t help but feel sad. Because I know next year we''ll go see my parents for Thanksgiving and then have an after Thanksgiving with his parents AND Christmas. Perhaps I''m being oversensitive about this and I don''t want to be unfair, but I feel like my parents get the short end of the stick, through no fault of anyone''s.

I also have a very small family and am the only child. I have two grandmothers 93 and 97 years old. His family is quite large, he has a sister, and his grandparents are 10 years younger than mine. Perhaps part of me is feeling guilty because I know when I''m not home for Christmas it''s really upsetting to my grandmother and my mother.

I love his family (well his sister and I have some things to work out) and enjoy spending holidays with them but can''t help but feel like his family sees us so much and my family rarely sees us.

I''m not really sure what can be done about this situation (if anything at all) but I''d love some insight from all you ladies so I can wrap my head around this.

 

[sonnyjane]

Admittedly, my husband and I are probably the odd-balls in this situation in that we spend the holidays together, without either set of parents. We live in California, my family is in Florida, and his family is in Massachusetts. Because of finances, it's really hard for us to travel, so we haven't spent the holidays with our families in several years. It makes me sad, but it's just not feasible for us. If we lived within driving distance of both sets, I'm sure I might make more of an effort to see both families, but I'm actually glad that I have a legitimate excuse for NOT juggling parents at the holidays, because I've heard several horror stories from my friends who basically spend the entire holiday season in their car racking up miles, driving from one place to the other. I'm sorry you're dealing with this though

The compromise that you mentioned, about switching each year, is what most of my friends have decided to do.

 

[bobbin]

We alternate whose family we spend Christmas with. His family live three hours away so we can''t spend christmas with both families as we would end up driving for most of Christmas day.

This year was supposed to be my family''s year but we switched it and spent it with his family. We are likely to be on our honeymoon in Queensland next Christmas and we think we will take one or two days out from our honeymoon to spend Christmas with my extended family up there.

It works out well but I also feel a little bit guilty about not spending christmas with my family. I am the *good* daughter who makes an effort for family gatherings and when I am not there my mum doesn''t have anyone there to help her really.