How do you refer to your non-blood relatives?

[blackprophet]

I have recently heard people in RL refer to their "Aunt's husband" or "Uncle's wife".

I would never say that, those are my Uncle and Aunt respectively. How do you think about/refer to those people.

Also growing up did you refer to your aunt or uncles by their first name, or by "uncle or aunt _____".

My FI and I were talking about it the other day. I've never heard anyone refer to their aunts or uncles by their first name, but she knows a few people who do. What do you do?

Discuss.

 

[chrono]

It's always been Aunt X or Uncle Y in our family (and extended family). The more respectful family members will actually use the proper ranking and not the name after the Aunt/Uncle designation, such as eldest Aunt or 2nd Uncle.

 

[JewelFreak]

We call all our aunts & uncles by their first names & always have. It was just the way it was & I never thought about it. Except my Uncle Tom, because there are 3 Toms in the family. When speaking TO him, though, we called him Tom.

I make my nephews & nieces call me by my first name only. Being called Aunt Laurie makes me feel like a thing, rather than a person.

As for spouses, I specify only if it makes what I'm saying clearer, as in, "My aunt's husband is Italian." In any other context, I'd refer to him as my uncle.

 

[momhappy]

I refer to them with their names and not a "blood" title (such as aunt or uncle).

 

[sonnyjane]

Ha. I guess I'm actually not very equipped to answer this question. My mom is an only child and my dad is estranged from his family, so aside from "gram and pap" on my mom's side, I've never had to refer to anyone in that manner really. When talking to others about my in-laws I just say "X's parents", or "X's brother" instead of "my mother-in-law".

 

[Trekkie]

My mother's extended family is Cape Malay and ridiculously large - my grandmother was one of 23 children.

I generally refer to all relatives (except parents and siblings, obviously) who are more than 15 years older than me as an aunt or uncle, even when they are first, second or third cousins. It's just easier than trying to untangle things.

I didn't realise how often I used the terms "my aunt" or "my uncle" until my husband tried to figure out which relative I meant. Now when speaking of them, I am careful to say, "my grandmother's brother so and so's son/daughter with his first/second/third wife". Some of my relatives have multiple wives (yeah, at the same time ), so I need to be explicit about which aunt I'm referring to.

I address my mother's siblings by their first names, but her closest friend (the woman my mother regarded as a sister), was always Auntie (name).

Where we live it is considered normal and polite to address any person older than you are as aunt or uncle (oom/tannie). I have been called all sorts of things because I insist on addressing people as Mr and Mrs. When called out on it I just say, "she's not my aunt; she's not married to my uncle".

 

[Cehrabehra]

Totally depends on the situation. I guess more, "My husband's aunt" because I usually want to be specific. There is a huge difference between my father and my husband's father so just referring to them both as Dad would need further explanation most of the time.

 

[amc80]

We call them uncle or aunt. The only one I'm not sure of is my aunt's (my mom's sister) wife. They have been together for as long as I can remember but were just able to get married in December. It's not a big deal to me (I will just continue to use her first name), but I'll need to refer to her as something for the kiddo. I want her to have a title (I like a bit of formality for that sort of thing) but aunt seems odd.

Oh, but I just realized I don't refer to my cousin's husband as my cousin. Nor do I refer to my husband's cousins as my cousins.

 

[TooPatient]

Depends.

Most of the time I talk about aunt/uncle + first name and address them the same way. So I've got Aunt Sharon, Uncle Bill, etc.
Same for their spouses..... usually!
My aunt's second husband gets spoken about (as little as possible!) as Aunt ____'s husband. No one in the family (including her) likes this man. He's addressed by his first name. Never uncle.

Great aunts/uncles (and a couple of great-great) are still just aunt/uncle ____ .

There are some random family people that I think are cousins of some form. They are all just addressed by first name and spoken about as Cousin ____ . What do you call your grandfather's sister's daughter's kid or your grandmother's sister's daughter-in-law's kid (by her first husband)?


Of course with my little cousins being so young (10 and under) and other cousins having kids of their own, it gets strange around Grandma's kitchen --

"Mom" could be my grandmother or my mother or my aunt or my cousin.
"Aunt B___" is actually my mom.
"Mom" might actually be my aunt S.

Try singing that for a b-day party

 

[JewelFreak]

My gosh, what interesting families you folks have!

 

[amc80]

What do you call your grandfather's sister's daughter's kid or your grandmother's sister's daughter-in-law's kid (by her first husband)?

Your grandfather's sister's daughter's kid is your second cousin. Your grandmother's sister's daughter-in-law's kid is also your second cousin

 

[TooPatient]

What do you call your grandfather's sister's daughter's kid or your grandmother's sister's daughter-in-law's kid (by her first husband)?

Your grandfather's sister's daughter's kid is your second cousin. Your grandmother's sister's daughter-in-law's kid is also your second cousin

That's about as far as I ever make it trying to untangle who all of the people in the house are
Adding in half-siblings and step-whatevers and all that, it just gets too messy to sort out!

Now the hard part is knowing who I'm officially related to! There is a handful of couples who have been friends forever (as in 50+ years) and are always doing stuff together. Some of these people are my grandfather's brothers and their wives and some are guys he went to school with and some are friends of people from school. I'm not really clear most days on who is who! I couldn't tell you if I'm related by blood to V or T or who else. They are all uncle/aunt ____ . (I can figure it out if I sit down and write it out, but I figure if you've been around for 50+ years at all the family holidays and stuff then you must be family!)

 

[AGBF]

I have recently heard people in RL refer to their "Aunt's husband" or "Uncle's wife".

I would never say that, those are my Uncle and Aunt respectively. How do you think about/refer to those people.

Also growing up did you refer to your aunt or uncles by their first name, or by "uncle or aunt _____".

My FI and I were talking about it the other day. I've never heard anyone refer to their aunts or uncles by their first name, but she knows a few people who do. What do you do?

Discuss.

And do you call your great aunts and uncles "Great Aunt Anna" and, "Great Uncle Andrew" when you refer to them, but simply, "Aunt Anna" and , "Uncle Andy" when you address them? Does your godson call you, "Aunt Deborah" because he was raised to do so although you are not a blood relative? What if his family says "Ant" and yours says, "AHHnt"? etc.

Deb/AGBF

 

[jaysonsmom]

In english, I use "my uncle by marriage" to distinguish from my "blood uncle"

Thank goodness Chinese people have devised ways to keep everyone straight!
These are the different names for "uncle" depending on the type of uncle:

Mom's older bro: Jiou-Jiou
Mom's younger bro: Jiou-Jiou (same as the first....no distinction on mom's brothers)
Dad's older bro: Buo-Fu
Dad's younger bro: Shu-Shu
Mom's sister's husband: Yi-Chang
Dad's sister's husband: Gu-Chang

There is the same elaborate scheme for Aunts as well, so you know which are blood, and which are related "By Marriage".

I forgot to add, when addressing my uncles and aunts, I always say Uncle (insert name) or Auntie (Insert name). The above examples were only when I'm talking about them to a third person.

 

[blackprophet]

I have recently heard people in RL refer to their "Aunt's husband" or "Uncle's wife".

I would never say that, those are my Uncle and Aunt respectively. How do you think about/refer to those people.

Also growing up did you refer to your aunt or uncles by their first name, or by "uncle or aunt _____".

My FI and I were talking about it the other day. I've never heard anyone refer to their aunts or uncles by their first name, but she knows a few people who do. What do you do?

Discuss.

And do you call your great aunts and uncles "Great Aunt Anna" and, "Great Uncle Andrew" when you refer to them, but simply, "Aunt Anna" and , "Uncle Andy" when you address them? Does your godson call you, "Aunt Deborah" because he was raised to do so although you are not a blood relative? What if his family says "Ant" and yours says, "AHHnt"? etc.

Deb/AGBF

Just looking for different perspectives, as you can see almost everone has a different answer. I gave my perspective to start it off, there is no right or wrong answer.

The only Great Aunt I have that I actually met, I met in 2012. And I called her Grandmother because that is what everyone called her (including her kids). I have no idea why, where my family is from everyone has a name they are commonly known as. And that name is seldom their first name.

My godchildren call me by first name, but that is because I was around 21 when they were born, we were almost still kids ourselves!

 

[packrat]

We use Aunt/Uncle. My mom's mom is Gramma Maybelle. My kids call her Mimi. My dad's mom was Gramma w/the Kitties, and that's how my kids referred to her as well b/c it messed ME up trying to call her Great Gramma. There is a husband/wife who are family friends that I've known my entire life, practically another set of parents--I put them in my wedding program as In Town Parents, and my kids call them Aunt/Uncle. We have a few friends of our own we sometimes refer to as Aunt/Uncle to the kids.

 

[ImperfectGirl]

Aunts and Uncles who married into the family and have been in my life since I was a kid are referred to as Aunt So&So and Uncle So&So. The ones who married in since I've been an adult are called by their first name. I'm 31 yrs old and it seems odd to call a man who married my aunt 3 yrs ago Uncle Dan.

 

[iLander]

Non blood relatives?

I call them anemic.

 

[ImperfectGirl]

Non blood relatives?

I call them anemic.

Tee Hee

 

[zoebartlett]

I call my aunts and uncles Aunt ____ and Uncle _____.

I'm not an aunt yet (well, by marriage I suppose I am), but I would hate to be called Aunt Zoe. Zoe's just fine with me. My husband has several nieces and nephews who are anywhere from 5-20ish? years younger than him, and he even has a few great-nephews and a great niece. No one calls him Uncle _____. They either refer to him by first name or by one of the several nicknames the family uses.

 

[missy]

My aunt and uncle (mom's brother and sister in law) asked us to call them by their first names when we hit adolescence so we do. Before that we called them Aunt_ _ _ and Uncle_ _ _. We have a very small family so that's it for Aunt and Uncles.

My nieces and nephew on each side of the family (my sister's children and my dh's siblings children) call us Aunt Missy and Uncle Greg. When they get older I will probably ask them to call us by our first names but knowing my sister and brother in law they won't like it so depending on how strongly they feel about it I won't make a fuss. But I think at a certain age calling us Aunt_ and Uncle_ is a bit much.

 

[zoebartlett]

My aunt and uncle (mom's brother and sister in law) asked us to call them by their first names when we hit adolescence so we do. Before that we called them Aunt_ _ _ and Uncle_ _ _. We have a very small family so that's it for Aunt and Uncles.

My nieces and nephew on each side of the family (my sister's children and my dh's siblings children) call us Aunt Missy and Uncle Greg. When they get older I will probably ask them to call us by our first names but knowing my sister and brother in law they won't like it so depending on how strongly they feel about it I won't make a fuss. But I think at a certain age calling us Aunt_ and Uncle_ is a bit much.

Although I still use Aunt _____ and Uncle ______, my sister calls everyone just by their first name, I think. I think she feels like she's outgrown addressing them by Aunt ____ and Uncle ____.

 

[KaeKae]

All of my parents' siblings and their spouses were and still are called Aunt____ and Uncle____. With the exception of one uncle's wife, who is actually younger than I am. That would be just weird, though that uncle has referred to he as "your Aunt____." But then,he's the king of sarcasm. My parents' cousins and their spouses were also called Aunt/Uncle, out of respect to an adult. I haven't seen any of them in years now, though.

My kids do the same with the aunts and uncles. They also call our best friends Aunt____ and Uncle____. My brother and I did the same with a few of our parents' friends and still do today, when we see them. It's simply a matter of respect, as well as tradition.

 

[Chewbacca]

My non-blood aunts and uncles I refer to as Aunt ____ or Uncle ____. Some of my aunts and uncles have also said its OK to drop the title post-childhood, but I find it just slips out from habit! I try not to though.

I can't imagine being called Aunt myself! As a side note, my SO doesn't like the idea of being called Dad. We know a couple of kids who call their parents by Mum/Dad as well as their first names! Its quite startling to hear "Fiona, where is my yellow jumper?" coming out of the month of a three year old talking to their mother!

 

[April20]

My mother's extended family is Cape Malay and ridiculously large - my grandmother was one of 23 children.

I generally refer to all relatives (except parents and siblings, obviously) who are more than 15 years older than me as an aunt or uncle, even when they are first, second or third cousins. It's just easier than trying to untangle things.

I didn't realise how often I used the terms "my aunt" or "my uncle" until my husband tried to figure out which relative I meant. Now when speaking of them, I am careful to say, "my grandmother's brother so and so's son/daughter with his first/second/third wife". Some of my relatives have multiple wives (yeah, at the same time ), so I need to be explicit about which aunt I'm referring to.

I address my mother's siblings by their first names, but her closest friend (the woman my mother regarded as a sister), was always Auntie (name).

Where we live it is considered normal and polite to address any person older than you are as aunt or uncle (oom/tannie). I have been called all sorts of things because I insist on addressing people as Mr and Mrs. When called out on it I just say, "she's not my aunt; she's not married to my uncle".

Trekkie, I was called "Auntie" by anyone even slightly younger than me the entire time we lived in Jo'burg. I rather like the custom!

 

[April20]

My parents divorced when I was two and both remarried and had families. I have a lot of family that I'm not related to by blood but as far as I'm concerned family is family regardless of how we are connected. I refer to them as aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc. because to me they are. I do clarify with DHs family only to explain that I am connected to them via him.

 

[madelise]

In english, I use "my uncle by marriage" to distinguish from my "blood uncle"

Thank goodness Chinese people have devised ways to keep everyone straight!
These are the different names for "uncle" depending on the type of uncle:

Mom's older bro: Jiou-Jiou
Mom's younger bro: Jiou-Jiou (same as the first....no distinction on mom's brothers)
Dad's older bro: Buo-Fu
Dad's younger bro: Shu-Shu
Mom's sister's husband: Yi-Chang
Dad's sister's husband: Gu-Chang

There is the same elaborate scheme for Aunts as well, so you know which are blood, and which are related "By Marriage".

I forgot to add, when addressing my uncles and aunts, I always say Uncle (insert name) or Auntie (Insert name). The above examples were only when I'm talking about them to a third person.

http://youtu.be/nCFRoILS1jY

 

[AN0NYM0US]

We call them Aunt _____ and Uncle _______. Always.

I was taught it was a sign of respect to use the titles. Same for grandparents, but not cousins.

 

[ForteKitty]

I address them as Aunt ABC & Uncle XYZ when I speak to them. However, when someone asks, "who is that man standing next to the woman in blue/red/purple?", I respond with, "that is my aunt's husband." If I say, "that is my uncle", the next question is usually, "your mom's brother or your aunt's husband?" I hate wasting time clarifying something that could have been defined in the first place.

 

[ForteKitty]

In english, I use "my uncle by marriage" to distinguish from my "blood uncle"

Thank goodness Chinese people have devised ways to keep everyone straight!
These are the different names for "uncle" depending on the type of uncle:

Mom's older bro: Jiou-Jiou
Mom's younger bro: Jiou-Jiou (same as the first....no distinction on mom's brothers)
Dad's older bro: Buo-Fu
Dad's younger bro: Shu-Shu
Mom's sister's husband: Yi-Chang
Dad's sister's husband: Gu-Chang

There is the same elaborate scheme for Aunts as well, so you know which are blood, and which are related "By Marriage".

I forgot to add, when addressing my uncles and aunts, I always say Uncle (insert name) or Auntie (Insert name). The above examples were only when I'm talking about them to a third person.

http://youtu.be/nCFRoILS1jY

SO complicated! Plus I have issues with the patriarchal naming system.

What we call our grandparents are totally wrong. We call both grandpas: yeh yeh (proper name for paternal grandfather only). The proper name for maternal grandfather is actually wai-gong. We call my maternal grandma: ah-puo, a mix between Taiwanese and Mandarin. Ah-mah is grandma in Taiwanese, wai-puo is grandma in mandarin. Ah in Taiwanese is a term of endearment. Wai literally means Outside or Outsider. Apparently as a kid, I was so offended that my closer set of grandparents were given the "lower" status that I refused to call them that. My mom said I decided to take one character from each language and mash them together and that's what we went with. My grandparents didn't care. They were just happy that their ABC grandkids spoke Chinese!