How did you meet your SO and did you know you were a match?

[chemgirl]

I was just sending out the rsvp for a friend's wedding. The have a website and included the story about how they first met. I giggled when I read about it being love at first sight because I was there, I know there was a lot of back and forth before the love stage!

I thought it would be fun to hear about some of our stories. How did you first meet? Did you start dating right away? Did you know you were a good match? Was it love at first sight?

I'll start:

I first met DH about 8 years ago at a friend's birthday party. It was at a lounge and all of the seats were taken except for the one I was saving for my then boyfriend. Interesting detail...my then boyfriend and DH have the same name. They were both late for the party. My boyfriend was driving from a conference several hours away and there was a snow storm so I was getting nervous. At that point he was about 5 hours late and not answering his phone. I kept on snapping around every time I heard the door open, hoping it was him and that everything was fine. The friend sitting next to me asked me about it and I explained that boyfriend was late and that I was worried. He said no problem, he'd talked to him earlier and he was just running late, nothing to worry about. I thought it was strange because boyfriend and friend had never met as far as I knew, but I thought "hey cool, he's running late." A little later DH walks in and he can't find a seat. Friend sitting next to me waves him over and tells him that Chemgirl's been saving his seat. He also started teasing DH about how we he never told him we were dating. It took a while to explain that my boyfriend, who has the same name, was also late. DH ended up sitting next to me and calming me down. Boyfriend was stuck behind a car accident and didn't make it for hours. He finally did make it and I left immediately.

I didn't think about DH for at least another year. At that point I started running in to him at parties and conferences. He had a girlfriend though so I never thought of him in a romantic way. I do remember crashing his birthday party one year (we have so many friends in common that they just brought me along) and assuming he was single because his girlfriend didn't come. I ended up sitting next to him and finally became aware of his awesomeness. I facebook stalked him after the party and saw his relationship status go from single to engaged so I promptly forgot about him. Too bad or a would have noticed his status go from engaged back to single a week later!

Fast forward six months and we're at the same newyears party. He brought a female friend who I assumed was his fiance. He was obviously hitting on me in front of her so I got creeped out and avoided from then on.

We finally connected at a conference almost a year later. We finally stopped assuming things about each other and I found out that he was single. We have been together ever since.

Definitely not love at first sight!

 

[Regular Guy]

Re: How did you meet your SO and did you know you were a mat

I was selling textbooks and my wife was a graduate student. I was trying to get into graduate school, and was teamed with her towards getting some internship experience; we met that way.

I didn't get that far with getting into graduate school, but I did well for it, and I hope my partner doesn't mind.

How did I know she was the one? We talked about this periodically, in spurts. While dating her (and I hadn't dated a great deal in my life), my application for immigation to Canada was approved, and a job offer in Canada accepted. I left, and she saw me off at the airport. Ostensibly I was travelling to another community I had sought to be a part of.

Before leaving though, I had arranged for flowers to be sent to her each week.

We saw each other once a month, flying/driving to Boston.

After several months, I proposed, she came up to Canada to be with me. The employment picture actually went south, and then, an opportunity arose that allowed me to go to her home town, and we've been here together the past 20 years. My parents moved to be with us, too.

I've been very lucky.

Ira Z.

P.S. I"m thinking I really didn't answer how I knew she was the one. But, maybe I did. In substance, I wasn't afraid to let BATNA do it's work. That's one way. Now, also, when my younger son talks about her being the most beautiful girl in the world, I see he's mostly on to something. She's very smart, and naturally self effacing. Now...the match part...I'm not sure I can give you much more than my half of the story.

 

[Autumnovember]

Re: How did you meet your SO and did you know you were a mat

I posted the story of how mine and FI's first date went in LIW somewhere....

and let me just say that I never ever thought he would want to see me again after the embarrassment that I made out of my drunken self that night.

We met 4 years ago. We worked (I don't work there anymore, he still does) for the same company and I was his dispatcher. For a little while we only talked on the phone until I decided I had to go up to North Jersey and meet him in person. I loved our phone conversations and if it weren't for those conversations, I would have never left my emotionally abusive ex. Talking to FI every night about various topics from silly to serious made me realize how much better I could do than the loser I was dating.

When I finally did meet FI, I insantly liked him even more. He was so...I don't know, *me*... We talk about our first date so often because things were so different back then. He was in his "single-guy" stage when we met in person so to this day I tell him he probably could have "taken or left it" with me. He denies it and says that if that were true we wouldn't be together, haha.

We were driving from Conneticut to NJ one day (probably our 3rd or 4th weekend together) and I remember him telling me he would never get married. I remember telling him that when he found the right girl he would and at that moment, 4 years ago, I knew it would be me. I can't really say how or why....I just did.

I should ask him when he knew that "I was the one."

There have definitely been challenging times throughout our relationship (such as living together and all the difficulties that it could bring) but when I really think about how good we are as a match, I am reminded of all the reasons why we click so well.

 

[zoebartlett]

Re: How did you meet your SO and did you know you were a mat

My husband and I technically met online but we only chatted a few times there before meeting in person for coffee. We spent the afternoon walking around the city and hanging out near the water. I remember that we both got parking tickets for parking on a side street we shouldn't have parked on. He offered to pay for my ticket, which I thought was nice. We had a lot of fun that day, and I thought if nothing else, we could become friends. We wound up meeting for dinner and a movie the next night and we've been together pretty much ever since. There have been some ups and downs along the way, but we've always pulled through stronger than before.

Neither one of us believe in love at first sight. There was definitely an attraction and a friendship from the beginning, but I wouldn't call it love. I think we knew we were a match when we stopped asking each other whether the other one was free the following weekend; we just assumed we would be together. That was almost 8 years ago and we've been married now for almost 3 years.

 

[yssie]

Re: How did you meet your SO and did you know you were a mat

... we met at a bar.


Well, not really, but close enough. DH tells me that we first met at a party 3rd year of college. I was - um, letting my hair down (okay, I was totally blitzed, but I was celebrating scoring my first choice position undergrad-style!) and don't remember this meeting.

He was apparently thought I was pretty, but was mostly intrigued that such a seemingly mindless party girl could succeed in the university's touted top programme... next time we talked I decided that he was a stuck up ponce. Cute, but a ponce.

We had enough friends in common that we kept running into each other.. running into turned into actually talking - though I remember an awful lot of sniping in the early days! Talking turned into hanging out, which turned into cross-country visits after he moved across the country for grad school... it was definitely a slow buildup, nothing like love at first sight. Attraction at first sight, maybe... We've been together 4 years now


The official story is that we met at an end-of-year celebration and hit it off from the start. We get lots of laughs about how it all worked out.


Edited for spelling*

 

[wannaBMrsH]

Re: How did you meet your SO and did you know you were a mat

It definitely wasn't love at first sight for us. We met at work and became instant friends, but I (and everyone we worked with) thought DH was married because he never communicated his divorce to anyone.

We were work friends (we worked on the same account and had MANY issues with our customer) for about 8 months until he announced his resignation. On his last day at work, he asked me out and I said no because I thought he was married! I was actually really upset about it because the whole time that I knew him I thought he was one of the "good guys" and I considered him a great and solid guy. I couldn't believe he was asking me out. Luckily someone else intervened and cleared up the whole divorce fiasco. DH then called me and I will never forget he said, "So I am going to ask again in case you might have received additional information, but if you say no, I really won't call you again. Would you like to have dinner with me tomorrow night?" So of course I said yes and we really have been together since our first date.

Now he says that he knew he wanted to date me when I wore a short skirt and tall boots one day, but I think he's teasing me. I did end up wearing a tall boots with a mini on our first date, which he says sealed his fate!

 

[packrat]

Re: How did you meet your SO and did you know you were a mat

Thru my brother. They happened to meet at a party one night and started hanging out. We were all in town cruising around and he'd told my brother about a "hot blonde" he wanted to meet that he'd seen driving around. He said the car, and my brothers like, dude that's my sister. I was dating someone at the time. Anyway, we met and all started hanging out together. They moved in together and I was always there. JD became one of my best friends. Not being very observant apparently, I had no clue he'd had a crush on my since that very first night, until he and I had been drinking at a party and he asked me out and then a few days later I asked him if we were still going out and he said he didn't remember asking. My cousin told me he was lying. We did go out on one date (saw Patch Adams) and then it just faded out, he didn't want a serious girlfriend. We broke up and stayed friends, just continued on like before, only we'd seen each other naked. We dated other people and then there was a stretch of a few months that neither of us dated anyone and he kept asking me out and I kept telling him to stick it. Then one day I stopped at his place (he was living at his own place then) and asked if he'd ever gotten his bed fixed, he hadn't, and I told him to fix it. Took a while for that to sink in.. and I said I thought we could be friends w/benefits..we'd managed to date once before and sleep together and part and still stay super close, why not do it again w/out the dating part? We were friends w/benefits for about 6 months before we realized it was more than that and spent another few months pretending nothing had changed and then gave up and admitted it, shocked people, got engaged, shocked the holy crap out of people, got married and now it will be 10 years in November, (tho 12 years of being "together" on New Years) but about 18 years as best friends.

 

[diamondringlover]

Re: How did you meet your SO and did you know you were a mat

My hubby was my cousin's boss, they were friends, so my cousin set us up on a blind date, we hit it off right away, heck I met him on Feb 20, 1983 and I moved in with him 3 weeks later, got engaged at Christmas 1983, married May 12, 1984, first son born December 1985...lol so I would say we were a match

 

[zoebartlett]

Re: How did you meet your SO and did you know you were a mat

I was thinking about this more but it was too late to add to my original post. I can't say that it was one moment when either of us knew we'd stay together and eventually get married. It was a lot of little things adding up over time rather than one big event. Actually though, I was in the hospital 5 years ago for a week and my (now) husband stayed with me for the entire time. He took the week off and was by my side the whole time. My mom commented to me about it, and she knew how much we meant to one another. I mean, she knew before then but that was the first time she saw him really take care of me after a major medical event. We were engaged a year later.

 

[rosetta]

Re: How did you meet your SO and did you know you were a mat

Blind date.

He pulls up on a Harley.

After talking for an hour, I get on the back of a complete stranger's bike and break a zillion speed limits.

To this day, he maintains that he knew I was the woman he would marry as soon as he clapped eyes on me.

It took me three weeks to come round.

What can I say? I'm a bit slow.

 

[Pandora II]

Re: How did you meet your SO and did you know you were a mat

My brother was dating a girl who was at Oxford with DH. Her parents had an amazing 'mini' stately home in the countryside near Cambridge and used to throw weekend house parties with incredible food. The place had a folly and a lake and a maze... truly incredible. Anyway, my brother's ex invited me along to an August weekend party. She sent me an email listing all the single men and a short comment on each. DH was down as "DH's name - the brains". My brother's comment on him was "Definitely not your type."

I was in the very slow process of splitting up with a guy I had been dating back in Italy where I had been living for the last 8 years and wasn't really looking for anyone. Plus I was planning to move back to Italy and was looking at jobs and apartments in Rome.

Fast-forward to the Saturday lunchtime... my brother and I had got there earlier than most people as we were giving his gf a hand sorting things out. About an hour after people started arriving I was walking up the steps into the house to go and change my sweater and as I was about to walk in, DH walked out.

We didn't speak or anything, but I remember thinking he had very pretty eyes and thinking please, please let him still be there when I get back downstairs and please let him be single. I didn't even know who he was!

My brother introduced us as soon as I was back downstairs and after drinks we ended up partnered together for a croquet match. On the way into lunch my brother came up to me and said "If you're interested then he is, it's obvious. Oh, and you're okay he's an inch taller than you" (I'm 5ft 10" but most of my family are 6ft and over - including the girls)

After lunch, most people were too zonked on Pimms, wine, food and sunshine and went to sleep on the lawn. DH and I were then only sober ones there and he invited me for a walk round the lake where he proceeded to jump on me!

And that was that... we spent the rest of the weekend talking - he asked if I planned to go back to Italy and I said that I was actually planning on moving to London ( ).

He tried to call me 6 times while I was on the train back to London (I know as I sat and counted with my brother telling me I was mean and me saying I wanted to see 'how keen') and took me out for dinner on following evening. I dumped the Italian boyfriend over the phone in the afternoon!

The next day I told my mother that I had met the man I was going to marry.

That was mid-August. In November I got a bunch of roses and a copy of his house keys. In January I moved in. Two years later he proposed and we've now been married nearly 3 years and have a 2 year-old daughter.

My parents were engaged within 2 weeks of meeting and celebrate their Ruby Wedding in July. They both said that you just know when it's right. Had DH asked me to marry him within 2 weeks of meeting I would have said yes without a moment of doubt.

We just clicked - and I don't mean in a physical/lust/sexual attraction kind of way - it was as if I'd known him all my life and as if I'd finally come home. Was a very, very strange feeling...

Sadly brother split up with the actually quite mad girlfriend - I have wonderful memories of the house and gardens and a perfect English summer weekend...

 

[maplefemme]

Re: How did you meet your SO and did you know you were a mat

We met on eHarmony....

We only spoke once on the phone after answering the plethora of questions online, he then drove down 3 hours to meet me for a morning coffee - that lasted til a late night movie, it was a great first date that lasted all day.
However, he didn't think I was that interested in him for the first couple of hours, he said I seemed friendly but wouldn't look at him very often. Well, I had seen pics of him online and found him attractive, but in person he is HOT! I took one look at him when we first met and thought "dear lord I'm in trouble!" so I tried to not focus on that and kept my distance. We talked shop a lot (I'm a nurse, he's a paramedic) and then finally I just had to admit he was the total package, I was smitten.
On our 2nd date, he drove down and we went grocery shopping so I could cook him dinner. He pretended I'd left something at the store and went back to get it, what he did was go out and buy me a mountain bike that I couldn't afford but had been looking at that morning with him. He put it in my living room when he came in, making sure I couldn't see him do it, and when I came round the corner, dinner in hand, I darn near dropped the plate! I was in shock, I asked him why he did that? He said "because you deserve it"...it was so nice of him.
It's not about him buying me things, that's merely "stuff", it's that he really puts me first in every way, and we share the same values and life goals...I'm happy.

 

[charbie]

Re: How did you meet your SO and did you know you were a mat

Packie- your story cracks me up.
Yssie- your story also cracks me up bc it just seems so opposite of what id expect

DH and I really did meet at a bar. I was a senior in college, and went out to a "downtown bar" rather than a "campus bar." I was with my good girlfriend (planning on getting quite drunk), and we both decided we were on a dry streak and least needed to get a phone number that night. She had met a guy at the first bar we went to, and after a bit we went to a second as a large group.

So at bar number 2, I saw DH at the next table over and instantly was attracted to his longish hair. I figured he was a liberal, outdoorsy, perfectly rebellious kinda guy for me (he had the look I liked). After another beer, I approached him and his friend, introducing myself and complimenting his hair. My girlfriend began talking me up, telling him how he was talking to royalty as I was on our university's homecoming court, blah blah, and it was all actually quite humorous. His friend seemed more interested in me than he did, but come to find out, DH was really just a shy guy and his friend a big talker.
Somehow through all of this, and lots of beers, we realized that my friend and I needed to get back to campus. No one was driving (all took taxis) and my friend was going to head over to random guy from earlier's house for a bit. Don't ask me why we were ok with seperating, bc we actually were responsible girls. So we shared a taxi, and DH invited me to his house. Figuring it was on campus and wouldn't be far, I went along, and realized we were headed to the suburbs, far away from campus. Ooops.
DH turned out to be 3 years older, smart, a responsible homeowner at 25, good job, and the complete opposite of everything I thought at first glance (a conservative republican, too!) Basically the opposite of the poor, college student, liberal, nomadic me.

Ok, ill admit it. I thought he would just be a one night stand. I call him my one night stand gone wrong....not that there was something wrong with him, just that you'd never expect a one night stand to become your husband! We joke about it now. He's the shy guy who never really dated anyone, and I ruined him.

I broke another rule by texting him the next day (after he and his buddy drove me to campus), expecting that would be a text un returned, but he actually asked me out (a big deal for him....he really was a shy guy), and before we knew it, we just sorta knew it, ya know we went on vacation together only a few months after meeting....it took him....gosh, 8 months to say, "I love you," but we were engaged a little over a year after we met. 4 yrs later, baby on the way, and while his hair is a little shorter, he says he never can cut it all off for fear ill leave him for a new guy with long hair.

 

[OUpearlgirl]

Re: How did you meet your SO and did you know you were a mat

I was invited to a friends wedding with an "and guest." I knew most of the bridal party, but not many others my age, so I had to find a date. I asked a friend from back home (where the wedding was) that I knew was cute, nice, and would be dressed appropriately. Well, he was late picking me up because he popped a button on his suit, so we went to a bar during the ceremony so that he could make it up to me. (I refused to walk in late, during the ceremony.) He was in touch with his friend Lane who had been at the wedding, and Lane let us know when the reception was starting so we could go. I had always heard about Lane through various mutual friends, but we didn't really know each other. Lane and my date immediately found each other and I was introduced to this tall, impossibly good looking guy. I was doing everything I could not to stare while the two boys talked and I chatted with a few friends. At one point we were talking about how we both lived in Oklahoma. I told him that he and his friends should come hang out where I live or go to a concert in OKC (He kept talking about how boring his small Air Force base town was). He said that would be fun, and I should "bring some of my cute friends for him to meet."

The wedding was over fairly early and none of us felt like calling it a night so soon. The three of us went to a nice bar and talked until close. I was sooooo into him, but he was super good looking and successful-- I really didn't think I stood a chance!! I got a little tipsy, and on our way our we stopped at the restrooms. My friend grabbed my arm and said "Lane is into you." I didn't believe him, especially after the comment about bringing my friends, but was trying hard not to be giddy at the thought it would be true. While we were getting dropped off, he opened my car door for me, asked for my number, and said we should caravan up to Oklahoma the next day. We did, went to dinner, which he paid for, and parted. I still couldn't read if he was into me, a flirt, or just incredibly friendly.

The next weekend we both brought friends to OKC and went to a concert. After a few drinks he was kissing me, and I have probably never been so happy in my life! Our first official date was dinner and a musical a week later-- I think everyone in my family knew he was perfect for me because I LOVE MUSICALS!

We've pretty much been together since. He says he knew he loved me about 5 weeks in. I fell in love around the same time. I was getting ready for work in the morning and he came in with a cup of coffee and breakfast. It was just so sweet and selfless. He still does little things for me all of the time.

 

[iLander]

Re: How did you meet your SO and did you know you were a mat

Okay, this is going to be me being "out there" again, but here I go; I woke up one day and knew I would meet "the guy". I felt his presence, it felt like a hat on head. Problem was, I didn't know which guy. So I dated everybody that asked. When I finally met DH I was dating 3 other guys (to be clear, they all knew about each other). We met at work, he was the head of another department, and he asked me to lunch. We went out to lunch a few times, I figured we were just being collegues (sp?). Then he asked me to a party at his house, but since I helped him prepare the invitations, I figured he was just being polite. So of course, I didn't attend. Besides, I was way down the work totem pole, why would he be interested in me? Then he actually asked me on a real date, so I said yes because it still felt like there was a hat on my head. He was cute and important, this couldn't be the guy, right?

We finally went out in February. I knew he was the guy after our third date. I broke it off with the other 3 and we moved in together by June, and I told him he had 6 months to marry me or I was out of there. He pointed out that since we were already engaged, I was being silly. I said "I know, but I like things to be clear".

Our marriage has been like that for the last 27 years.

 

[Echidna]

Re: How did you meet your SO and did you know you were a mat

Great thread, Chemgirl! These are all great stories

I have to say up front that I don't believe in soul mates or destiny or perfect matches (you get the idea). I was first introduced to FI at the campus coffee shop by a mutual friend. I was instantly attracted to him (and consequently dropped my coffee card and change all over the floor in front of him to prove it!). He was always warm and friendly, but didn't make a move so I just sat back and waited.

About a year after we met, I found out he had a long-term girlfriend that he was living with. At first I was upset but then I had the weirdest feeling wash over me: she was just looking after him for the moment because he was mine. It was a truly weird feeling, as if the universe knew something I didn't and needed me to relax.

Anyway, I spent the next nine months travelling and dating other people (good practice!), always feeling that he was "mine". One day we went for coffee and were both uncharacteristically down because we'd both just ended relationships. He hadn't realised I was involved with someone and I think that was the jolt he needed. He asked me out a week later and we have been inseparable ever since (three and a bit years now and getting married in July). He really was mine after all

 

[Echidna]

Re: How did you meet your SO and did you know you were a mat

I felt his presence, it felt like a hat on head.

I love this description, iLander! I wonder how often we ignore these feelings because we don't recognise them for what they are?

 

[marcy]

Re: How did you meet your SO and did you know you were a mat

He started to work where I did. We became quick friends, then started more hanging around together than dating. He was so nice and funny I spent more and more time with him. I got him very interested in my hobby - astronomy and he started going out star gazing with me. About then he left for 2 weeks of AT with the guard. We could hardly stand being apart that long and when he got back to down to started dating and were engaged about 3 months later and married a year later. This month is our 20th anniversary.

 

[FrekeChild]

Re: How did you meet your SO and did you know you were a mat

Myspace.

He had a cute pic (of a baby turtle) and I friended him.
He was living with a GF of three years at the time.
We exchanged messages, neither expecting anything except friendship.
They broke up, him realizing how much easier it was to talk to me (at that point a complete stranger) than to her.
We talked on the phone.
We met in person.
He wanted to be single.
He wanted to be single.
Then one night he told me he wanted to be single.
The next day he asked that I be his girlfriend.
I said I'd think about it (Do you blame me?! I was hella confused!)
A week later he asked again, I said yes.
The next day we walked through Mandalay Bay, past the chapel and I thought "I could totally marry this guy someday."

Five years later, we're married (at Mandalay Bay) and expecting our first (and likely only) child in November.

 

[Haven]

Re: How did you meet your SO and did you know you were a mat

We met on a Jewish dating website called Jdate. This was over seven years ago and I wasn't really that into the whole Internet thing at the time, so the experience was a bit strange for me. DH contacted me first and told me he'd love to take me out, but I was 23 and he was 34 at the time and I thought it was strange for him to be contacting a much younger woman. I was pretty evasive for a while, but he was very persistent, so I finally agreed to meet him for a workout after work. (I was a grad student at the time and worked PT as a well, PT. Haha.)

Well, I didn't feel well on the day of our scheduled workout, but I was too scared of people from the Internet so we hadn't yet exchanged phone numbers. SO, we met at the gym but I told him I was a little under the weather and didn't want to hit the weights. Sly man that he is, he convinced me to go out for a quick coffee and we talked for hours and hours.

I won't say that I knew we were a match because I've never been the type to move draw a quick conclusion, but I will tell you that I never dated another man after that first night out for coffee, even though we weren't technically dating exclusively for a while.

 

[dreamer_dachsie]

Re: How did you meet your SO and did you know you were a mat

We met in 2004 on Lavalife.

I had just come out of a serious and very upsetting relationship. I was not ready to have a serious relationship at all. But thought, why not date around?

My husband was the first person to contact me on the site. We went on a date 3 weeks later. He was cute. He was sweet. He was nice. I was not ready.

About two weeks into dating I decided to break it off. We went on a date and I was very cold to him. We saw a movie. I got up to go to the washroom and when I did, he gently put his hand on the small of my back to sort of guide me up. Just a nice gesture. And in the bathroom I thought to myself, "Dreamer, this is a NICE man! A GOOD man! If you cannot give him a chance then there is something wrong with you and you should give up right now. You aren't marrying him for goodness sakes, so just enjoy dating him and chill!" That was my pep talk in the bathroom. And it changed the course of my life!

So I did not break it off. And I fell in love with him a month later when I was away visiting family and we spent a lot of time talking on the phone. And I think we both knew we were headed towards marriage within about 6 months. Maybe sooner, neither of us was into casual relationships.

So no love at first sight. My love and attraction to him grew slowly over the first 3 years of our relationship, and honestly it is still growing. Learning to trust him took time, and I admit I did not feel completely at ease until about a year into our marriage. But he is such a *good* man, really one of the best people I have ever met -- everyone who meets him likes him and trusts him immediately. And whenever I felt scared of commitment, I reminded myself of that. So the growth of my relationship was a real process of head controlling heart, and actively working on overcoming bad relationship instincts.

 

[Trekkie]

Re: How did you meet your SO and did you know you were a mat

Okay, this is going to be me being "out there" again, but here I go; I woke up one day and knew I would meet "the guy". I felt his presence, it felt like a hat on head. Problem was, I didn't know which guy. So I dated everybody that asked. When I finally met DH I was dating 3 other guys (to be clear, they all knew about each other). We met at work, he was the head of another department, and he asked me to lunch. We went out to lunch a few times, I figured we were just being collegues (sp?). Then he asked me to a party at his house, but since I helped him prepare the invitations, I figured he was just being polite. So of course, I didn't attend. Besides, I was way down the work totem pole, why would he be interested in me? Then he actually asked me on a real date, so I said yes because it still felt like there was a hat on my head. He was cute and important, this couldn't be the guy, right?

We finally went out in February. I knew he was the guy after our third date. I broke it off with the other 3 and we moved in together by June, and I told him he had 6 months to marry me or I was out of there. He pointed out that since we were already engaged, I was being silly. I said "I know, but I like things to be clear".

Our marriage has been like that for the last 27 years.

Everyone's stories are so sweet, but iLander, I love yours!

My FI and I met online. I had posted an ad saying that I was on holiday in my home town and incredibly bored, looking for a fun weekend but not a relationship. My last serious relationship had ended badly when I was dumped with the now immortal words "acutely commitment phobic", "emotionally unavailable" and "intensely intellectually intimidating". The last part particularly stung as the boy who said them was easily the smartest boy I have ever met.

My FI responded to my ad. I admired his spelling and grammar. We spoke on the phone. We agreed to meet in person. I deleted my ad.

On our first date I told him way more about myself than I had initially intended. I told him I was a recovering alcoholic and drug addict. He wasn't freaked out at all. I was impressed.

We had a very fun weekend. I left to go on a business trip. I couldn't stop thinking about his blue eyes. I told myself it wasn't serious, it was just fun. Turns out he couldn't stop thinking about me either. He called me the moment I landed. We spent hours chatting on the phone and online. We (very logically and rationally) decided that we needed to get this thing, whatever it was, out of our systems, so we agreed to meet again the next weekend. I was unable to change my ticket to fly to my home town, so instead I flew him out to Cape Town to spend the weekend with me.

I don't know when I first knew he was the one for me. But I am reminded every day of how lucky I am that he is mine.

 

[Dandi]

Re: How did you meet your SO and did you know you were a mat

My best friend met my DH on an online chat (can't remember which one) and thought they'd meet for coffee. They were both nervous so she brought me and he brought a mate along... it was so bizarre how it all turned out, but for them it was a bit of a 'meh' moment, they have always been good buddies but no romantic flare at all. But he and I hit it off instantly! And nearly 11 years later, 3.5 of them married, we're still inseperable.

And yes, my then best friend is still my best friend! She was the Maid of Honour at our wedding in fact.

 

[Cehrabehra]

Re: How did you meet your SO and did you know you were a mat

I don't remember meeting my husband. I do remember meeting his sister! It was the summer before kindergarten and my mom was interviewing their mom to be my babysitter after school and she left her friend's house and was standing in front of my house across the pool and I was standing in front of her house and we had a staredown lol My future husband was in the house trolling around in a saggy diaper probably... he was only 3

How we hooked up is a longer and fairly xrated story Married 20 years this month!

 

[bee*]

Re: How did you meet your SO and did you know you were a mat

I was on our school's debating team and we were doing a debate against his school and his best friends were on the opposing team. My best friend really fancied his best friend so we went out a few nights later to try and get them together and DH came along with his best friend. Actually when I first saw him I thought he was Asian (not sure how as he's Irish and doesn't look Asian at all!). I liked the look of him that night and my friends and I were invited to a party being thrown by his friend that weekend and we got together that weekend. I knew he was the one after about three months when he was driving me home one night after dinner and I just couldn't see us breaking up. That was 12 years ago and we've been married almost 2 years.

 

[kama_s]

Re: How did you meet your SO and did you know you were a mat

Yssie, your story is hilarious! I, too, have a similar story. I had a pretty rough 2nd year in school, with things at home being a mess, a medical illness that resulted in sub-par school grades. To get my mind off, I decided to go visit a high school friend from Dubai, who lived in Montreal. One night during my visit, we ended up going to a retro lounge with all her engineering friends. I was actually the only non-engineer there. My hubby was a good friend of hers, but he arrived with another girl, so I obviously assumed they were dating. Later on I saw him dancing with some other chick and I instantly disliked him. Towards the end of the night, they played 'The Final Countdown' and I jumped up and down and exclaimed my love for the song. Apparently, he loved the song too. At this point I'd had waaaayyy too much to drink....it actually was my first time drinking beer and I was rather sloshed - total undergrad style as well! Anyways, I ended up going over to this apartment that night. It was the first, and only!, time I'd ever done anything of that sort. I figured I was never going to see him anyways. We fooled around for a bit, then I started snooping around his apartment and we realized we had A LOT in common (Radiohead and Fight Club, to be precise, ha).

I left back for my city the next day, but we stayed in touch. He visited me a few months later and we officially decided to give long distance a try. We were both in fairly intense programs, so it was great to be able to give school our 100%, and see each other during time off. Two years later, I got into the grad program that I intensely coveted in my city and I had a frank talk with the boy and told him that I couldn't do long distance for the rest of my life. He was running his own home business, so it would've been easier for him to move. So it was either he moves down to my city, or we part ways amicably. Two months later he moved in with me. Two years later he proposed. We got married just over 5 years after we had first met.

I always hoped he would be the guy I marry, ever since the night I saw him. But I know life doesn't always work that way. I'm glad we ended up together, as I can't picture my life with anyone but him. When people ask how we met, we have two versions. His is PG-13 - he tells people we met at a mutual friend's dinner. I tell people he got me drunk and took advantage of me. Sucker.

Also, the last song at our wedding reception was 'The Final Countdown'.

 

[Laila619]

Re: How did you meet your SO and did you know you were a mat

He wrote to me on Match.com.

We met, and we were both very attracted to each other. He brought me a beautiful bouquet of flowers! I remember thinking what a nice guy he was. He had the friendliest, warmest eyes.

We knew we were a match when we started to get to know each other. It's almost scary how much we have in common and how we think the same. Basically, we are the exact same person, in male/female versions. It's crazy!

 

[jaysonsmom]

Re: How did you meet your SO and did you know you were a mat

I interviewed my husband for a R&D Chemist position. He said it was love at first sight for him because he'd never seen a "cute" girl in a lab coat before. Anyway, I was in a long term relationship with someone else in the company at the time, so I never gave him a second glance. We became platonic friends for about 2 years, but when my long term relationship started breaking down, I found mysef turning to my husband as a shoulder to cry on. He was sympathetic, but secretly hoping that I'd break up with the ex. Eventually I did, and then he started asking me out on dates. I turned him down twice, but third time's a charm and I finally agreed to go out with him.

It was instant chemistry on our first date, everything was just SO easy. We wanted the exact same things out of life, and within a month we were talking about white picket fences and 2.5 kids. Within 6 months we were engaged. That's when I knew we were meant to be. Right timing, right personality fit. Who knew my "rebound" would last for 12+ years? We're celebrating out 11th wedding anniversary this September.

 

[junebug17]

Re: How did you meet your SO and did you know you were a mat

I'm loving all of these stories!

I was a junior in high school and needed a date for my junior prom. I had seen my now husband around town and thought he was really cute. My brother was friendly with his sister, so he just came out and asked my husband if he'd go to my prom with me! My husband, poor guy, was put on the spot for sure and said he wasn't sure and what did I look like. (omg, I'm cringing as I type this!). My brother brought over a pic of me and it turns out that my husband had seen me around as well, and thought I was pretty. I was 16 and he was 18. He called and we went out a few times, he took me to my prom and the rest, as they say, is history. We hit a few bumps along the road, mainly because I was so young when we started dating, but we ended up getting married 8 years after we met. And we're celebrating our 27th wedding anniversary this Friday.

 

[Amys Bling]

Re: How did you meet your SO and did you know you were a mat

we met in first grade! We grew up as friends, and over the years we started dating. I knew we were a match because he was my best friend, always there for me, and I love him with all my heart. Ontop of all that friendship- we have love and passion and my heart aches when he leaves me for business trips.