How did you decide where (in general) you wanted to live?

[Sabine]

As in your permanent location, if you plan on having one?

How did you decide which country, state, general region to make your home?

Ds is in the Navy and only has 4 more years left of his obligation. We've moved a few times and will move at least once more before he's done. I'm not one for change and I've dreaded all our moves, but once we've actually re-settled, I've grown to like each area we've been in for the most part and often said I wouldn't mind living hear long term, except for the fact that I've also learned that I really miss family and friends. So even though we'd be really happy geographically a lot of places, dh and I plan to move back to the area we both grew up in eventually. Geographically, it's not the area we would choose if family wasn't a factor, but we like it well enough not to let that deter us.

Just curious how other people make the decision.

Honestly, if dh hadn't joined the Navy, we might not have moved much further away than our hometown and never realized we would have liked living in other areas of the country or even other countries, but the end result would have probably been the same.

 

[Haven]

Re: How did you decide where (in general) you wanted to live

It was a no-brainer for us. We happen to be from the greatest city in the world, Chicago , and both of our families are here, so we knew we wanted to stay.

We've both traveled a lot, I've lived in other countries for three months during several summers, and we are most definitely Chicagoans at heart. At times I get very upset about the state of certain things in our country, or about an especially long and harsh winter, and get the bug to move somewhere far, far away. But in the end this is home, and we like it that way.

ETA: We're both very close to our families, so that helps, too. I can't imagine living far away from them, and especially when we have children in the future I know we're going to be very happy we stayed. I don't know how I'd feel if we weren't from such an amazing place, though, to be honest.

 

[elrohwen]

Re: How did you decide where (in general) you wanted to live

Initially I wanted to live somewhat near NYC. I like the variety that the city offers, and it's reasonably close to my parents in Pennsylvania. I'm comfortable in the east and the NYC area is pretty centrally located to New England and DC. Because of jobs, I currently live in CT and will hopefully end up with a home in the Hudson Valley in a few years. I like the area in general, though I don't like how expensive it is.

Ultimately I would love to live in upstate NY - maybe near Saratoga or something. I went to school upstate and DH is from upstate, so we would love to live there permanently.

Part of me would like to move out west for a few years, just to try something totally different, but I really love the east and we would be far away from family and friends (we're not super close to them as it is, but at least within driving distance). The east has so much to offer that I just don't feel the need to move outside of the NY/CT/MA area.

 

[Nashville]

Re: How did you decide where (in general) you wanted to live

I've lived on the West Coast, in Hawaii, and on the east coast, and nothing compares to the city of Boston. Plus, I could never live somewhere without seasons. I love the feeling I get each time one season leaves and another begins... heaven. Plus, some of the best schools in the country are available for my daughter, some of the best hospitals, family is here, we have access to Cape Cod every weekend (weather permitting). We love it here. Although I have to say, if rents were more affordable in DC, I'd be tempted...

 

[Octavia]

Re: How did you decide where (in general) you wanted to live

I didn't really make a considered decision. I came to this area for college because I loved the school itself, but didn't think too much about the city (the college is in a GORGEOUS suburb so my location consideration was limited to that). Then, after college, I got a job offer here so I moved to the city. Hated it. Moved back to the burbs. Loved it. Dated and then married DH, who is a city boy and doesn't want to live far from his job, so moved back to the city. Still don't like it, though it's much better with DH around than it was before! I'd love to leave this area, but DH's job is very specific and there aren't many other places he could be. Even though he likes Philly a lot more than I do, we still both feel stuck, but there's not much we can do about it unless he decides to do something different with his career...

 

[zoebartlett]

Re: How did you decide where (in general) you wanted to live

We just went through this. My short answer is that we wanted to be closer to family and friends, and I wanted to return to an area that I loved teaching in.

My longer answer is...

My husband and I were born and raised in New England. He's lived here all his life, and most of his immediate and extended family still live in his hometown or close by. I've in the same state as him most of my life (with the exception of moving to VA for 2 years when I was little and going to college in MA). I'm more attached to New England than my husband is. He's always said that he couldn't see living here for the rest of his life. He felt that he needed to try living somewhere else one day. Well...

My husband lost a job a while ago, and he was out of work for 6 months. After spending those months looking for a new job all around New England, we decided to extend his search. We'd never been to North Carolina before, but we'd always wanted to go there. He applied for a job, we flew down there for 5 days to check out the area, and we loved it. He ended up getting the job and we moved shortly afterwards. We said we'd give it a year, and we did. To make a long story a little shorter, we loved where we were, but it wasn't home. I had never lived more than 2 hours away from home, and even in my mid-thirties, I was homesick (especially at first). My teaching experience wasn't the best, and I learned quickly how different the schools down there are compared to where I had taught in NE. Some of the schools are great, but there's so much more of an emphasis on testing, competitiveness, etc. Basically, I wasn't happy, and with many layoffs coming, I knew that I'd be out of a job ince the schoool year ended.

Because of all that, we decided to come back to New England. I had taken a one year leave of absence instead of resigning, just in case we did move back. That way, I knew I'd have a job to go back to, and I'm really glad I did that. My husband happened to find a posting of a job that sounded very, very similar to a job he once had at a former company. He inquired about it, and it turns out, it was his old job with a few changes. So now we're both working at former jobs we've had (well, I will be once school starts).

We had rented out the condo we own, so when we moved back, we found another condo for us to rent.

We're really happy to be back in New England. There are things I miss about living in NC, but I think we made the right decision to come home.

 

[packrat]

Re: How did you decide where (in general) you wanted to live

We were born here. We've both been other places and this is close to friends and family and we like it here a lot.

 

[Clairitek]

Re: How did you decide where (in general) you wanted to live

I have the distinct feeling I would not enjoy living in an area that was super conservative so that eliminates a few options in this country. I grew up on an island in Rhode Island so being near water is a major plus for me. Also, DH loves the beach. We both would like to avoid severe winter weather and enjoy a more mild climate. Both of us have enjoyed living near a larger city (well, several) for the last several years so thats another thing to add to the list. After discussing our options for places we could live other than where we live now we came up with the SF Bay Area, Norfolk, VA/southern Chesapeake Bay area, and North Carolina. Perhaps Seattle or central CA coast as well. I just happened to get a job in the SF Bay Area so we are heading out there for 2 years, then we will be in Salt Lake City, UT for a year (its a rotational program). Then I'll be placed permanently, hopefully back in CA. I'm not sure where we will settle permanently and buy our next home but I have a feeling that if we like the SF Bay Area as much as I think we will, I wouldn't be surprised if it was there.

For reference, DH is from southern NJ (just outside of Philly) and we currently live in the 'burbs, probably not far from Octavia!

 

[zoebartlett]

Re: How did you decide where (in general) you wanted to live

And if my first reply wasn't long enough, I have more to add!

We also knew that we wanted to be closer to the ocean, Boston, lakes, and the mountains. We're now within about 1-2 hours from all those things. Easy access to plenty of things to do...

 

[sctsbride09]

Re: How did you decide where (in general) you wanted to live

Sabine- my Dh and I are in the same position. We were both born and raised in so cal, both hate it. Its so hard to find your "forever home". No advice, just best wishes finding what you want.

 

[LGK]

Re: How did you decide where (in general) you wanted to live

When I grew up, my father moved us cross country every two years or so, therefore I saw a *lot* of the US before I graduated from HS. After a ridiculous fiasco when I was 13 to 14 involving me living with friends for a year in Colorado and mom & dad moving without me to (of all places) New Orleans for a year, my mom and I basically told my father that *we* were moving back to Seattle (where the two of us had liked it best, and though I was born in Kansas I don't remember KS, just Seattle in my earliest memories), and he could come with or not. That's how we ended up back in the Pacific NW. I remember driving in to Seattle that early summer with all our stuff piled in the back of the ancient '60s Firebird and the cats howling in my lap and just being amazed at how green and beautiful it was, how the air felt like silk, compared to Colorado where we had just left.

After the intensive rootlessness of my childhood, I really don't have that desire to move cross country for a change of pace like some of my friends did and do. I love Seattle, and if I moved anywhere else it'd be Portland. I lived in so dang many places as a kid that I know quite well that I like it best here, thank you! And I remember how difficult it is to establish a social network in a new place, especially for introverted folks like myself and my husband.

My husband ended up in Seattle, after he grew up in East Los Angeles as a kid- through about age 11 I think. They lived in some very, very bad neighborhoods- crack houses on the same block, gang territory, good times! Boyz n the Hood was filmed (in some parts) right by his childhood home. Their next door neighbor murdered his wife and put her in the trunk of his car for months, before he was caught. That was the last straw and his family moved out of LA for Seattle. And neither of us has wanted to move anywhere else since.

Oh, and we stayed in Everett for the latter part of my HS years because I insisted, lol. When we did the Colorado to Seattle move right before my sophomore year, Dad wanted us to go to (god knows why, his moving plans seemed to involve a dartboard or some other random device) Anacortes. But I wanted to stay with my cousin and go to HS with her, and mom backed me up. So that's how we ended up in Everett.

 

[bee*]

Re: How did you decide where (in general) you wanted to live

It was easy for us-we're both Irish and never want to live anywhere else in the world. I love living in Dublin. We've travelled extensively but always return home.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Re: How did you decide where (in general) you wanted to live

I grew up in the midwest and while I miss my family, once I moved to a coast I was done for. The criteria for me is simple: I need to live within a few miles of the ocean and have mountains within 1 - 2 hours. Ideally I'd love to live in a coastal town that is a bit more rural (even closer to the mountains, please!), but for now we are both tied to a major city. I'd be happy to swap coasts, so long as I'm near the ocean and mountains.

 

[jaysonsmom]

Re: How did you decide where (in general) you wanted to live

I've lived everywhere in the world due to my dad's job, and English became my first languange out of necessity (attending international schools). When It came to choosing a place for University, it was a natural decision to come to the study in the US. I also chose California because we had relatives here. After settling down in California at 18, I just became spoiled by the great weather, ethnic diversity, and having the beach, mountains, and dessert within 2 hours drive each way. Plus, I met my husband who gres up here, and neither of us can imagine living anywhere else, unless finances dictate that we move somewhere less expensive.

 

[kenny]

Re: How did you decide where (in general) you wanted to live

I choose a beach city in Southern California because of the ideal Mediterranean climate.

There is lots to do here.
Plus you can go snow skiing in the morning then go surfing later the same day.

 

[lyra]

Re: How did you decide where (in general) you wanted to live

I'm not in the US. Unfortunately for us, we've always had to choose based on where the jobs were for my DH. His is a small industry. I think he has 2-3 years left at his current position, then who knows. It's actually kind of horrifying not being able to pick a place we like and just stay there. But then, it's important that he stays employed.

 

[redfaerythinker]

Re: How did you decide where (in general) you wanted to live

I grew up in Atlanta and except for my years at college i've never lived anywhere else. I'll say one thing, I could NEVER live permanently in the country. I would shrivel up and die. I dream of living in NYC, Paris, or Dublin. But my family is in Georgia, and since that's basically just my mom now, I would never leaver her. So in Atlanta I will stay, heat, humidity and all.

 

[Sabine]

Re: How did you decide where (in general) you wanted to live

It's so interesting reading all your replies!

I wish I knew how to do a ps clicky poll, it's be interesting to find out how many people settle in their hometown, how many settle within driving distance to their hometown, how many move far away, and how many move to different countries!

I told ds tonight that I had the perfect solution...we could permanently setting in our hometown, we'll just have to get a summer home someplace great! Hehe, it might take a while, but I think I'll make that my long-term goal!

 

[yssie]

Re: How did you decide where (in general) you wanted to live

This is a discussion FI and I will be having in the next 6mo or so

 

[Blackpaw]

Re: How did you decide where (in general) you wanted to live

This is an interesting discussion!

i grew up in melbourne, as did SO, and we left there a few years ago to go travelling. We've both done travel before and both of us always felt that no matter where we went, we would always want to go back to Melbourne. No where we'd been had been better than home.

Then we moved to a small town in Canada (first small town experience) and we love it, and after a recent visit back to aus, the thought of going back there literally makes me ill. Not that its a bad place or anything, but that i want something different from my life now. If we did end up back there it wouldnt be the worst thing, but it wouldnt be my ideal....

i guess i dont want to settle at all is the problem!! At some point id like to live in Ireland (SOs family are Irish), London and Italy (italy is top priority though)...and im sure i will at some point

Oh and Mozambique, if it develops nicely, would be on my list of places to live too, not sure if ill get to that one though!

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Re: How did you decide where (in general) you wanted to live

It's so interesting reading all your replies!

I wish I knew how to do a ps clicky poll, it's be interesting to find out how many people settle in their hometown, how many settle within driving distance to their hometown, how many move far away, and how many move to different countries!

I told ds tonight that I had the perfect solution...we could permanently setting in our hometown, we'll just have to get a summer home someplace great! Hehe, it might take a while, but I think I'll make that my long-term goal!

I think this would be interesting, too. I adore my family and miss them very much. In my mid-twenties I really struggled with the decision to stay on the coast where I loved to live or return to the midwest and not love the area as much, but be near my family. I moved home for 6 months to see if it still felt like "home". Ultimately, being near my family meant I would be sacrificing a lot of my own happiness, so I made the decision to move back to the coast and haven't had an urge to move back to the midwest since. I wish I loved it there, it would have made life much easier!

 

[Dreamer_D]

Re: How did you decide where (in general) you wanted to live

We had little or no choice where we lived because jobs in my area are hard to come by and you take what you can get. So my job was going to wholly determine where we lived.

Our number one hope was to stay in Canada and number two was to live near his family or mine. We lucked out and ended up near my family!

 

[JSM]

Re: How did you decide where (in general) you wanted to live

We live where we do because this is where I got a job. Made the decision easy!

To be fair, we had one major criteria - the city had to have a major league baseball team. I know that sounds silly, but having a team means that the city 1) is large enough where DH would have multiple job opportunities in his industry, 2) has an airport, 3) has things to DO! We lived in a college town when I was in grad school and we were boooooorrrrreeeeed. (plus we love baseball. )

Our families are not close together geographically, so we ruled out those two cities because we didn't want to offend either side (though I miss Chicago a lot sometimes!). Plus, we really enjoy branching out and living somewhere new. We really love living here, but we are not ruling out moving elsewhere if life dictates it.

 

[April20]

Re: How did you decide where (in general) you wanted to live

I've always based where I live on how quickly I can get to a major body of water. I don't have to be on the water, but I want to know I can get there. Something about being landlocked in the center of the county freaks me out. Weird, I know.

The other factor for me now that I'm a little older and my grandparents and parents are older is being close enough to get home in an afternoon should I be needed. When I lived in the PacNW, it drove me crazy that every visit home was a huge ordeal and I couldn't just go on the fly. I love that I can go at the drop of a hat now. We're planning to relocate temporary much futher than an afternoon drive away, but still close enough that an airplane ride isn't more than a couple hours. I can deal with that.

DH's family is all here. He's lived a few places and while he's not tied at the hip to his family, I don't know that he'd want to live somewhere far way without a true purpose behind it.

 

[iheartscience]

Re: How did you decide where (in general) you wanted to live

I stayed in the same city I went to college in. I love the area and I'm close to my parents and 3 of my 4 siblings. (My twin sister lives about 2 blocks from me.)

My husband ended up here kind of randomly when he graduated college, and was planning to move to NYC, but when he met me he decided to stay.

We bought a house last year and I went back to school for my Master's, so I think we're here to stay, at least for the time being. There's really nowhere else in the US I'd want to live. I am open to moving overseas somewhere, though. My husband's company sometimes moves their employees overseas on 2 year contracts, and depending on the place, we'd definitely be willing to do that!

 

[zoebartlett]

Re: How did you decide where (in general) you wanted to live

I've always based where I live on how quickly I can get to a major body of water. I don't have to be on the water, but I want to know I can get there. Something about being landlocked in the center of the county freaks me out. Weird, I know.

The other factor for me now that I'm a little older and my grandparents and parents are older is being close enough to get home in an afternoon should I be needed. When I lived in the PacNW, it drove me crazy that every visit home was a huge ordeal and I couldn't just go on the fly. I love that I can go at the drop of a hat now. We're planning to relocate temporary much futher than an afternoon drive away, but still close enough that an airplane ride isn't more than a couple hours. I can deal with that.

DH's family is all here. He's lived a few places and while he's not tied at the hip to his family, I don't know that he'd want to live somewhere far way without a true purpose behind it.

April -- the first paragraph is what we think too. We don't like the thought of being landlocked either. When we lived in NC, we learned how important water was to us. We kind of took it for granted when it was so close, but we appreciated it more when we realized that we couldn't just go to the beach for the day. We were about 3 hours or so away, and while to some people, that may be considered close, to us, it's not. We like being about an hour or so away. We would love to move to the seacoast someday and be even closer, but for now, we're happy.

 

[radiantquest]

Re: How did you decide where (in general) you wanted to live

I have lived in the north east my entire life and would prefer to live elsewhere. I have visited Texas, FL and CA. Every winter I ask why anyone would decide to settle in such an area. I am miserable every winter. It is just ignorant for the weather to be that inhospitable. In the winter you cant go outside because it is too cold and in the summer the minute you walk outside you melt. I would like to either live in the south like GA or NC and then the other part of me wants to be in CA where it seems so interesting. I agree that seasons are nice to have, but I would like a more even climate. Like 40's in the winter and upper 80's in the summer. Currently we have to wait for my stepdaughter to finish school. We agreed that we would stay here until then. I cant wait for the day when we can decide exactly where we WANT to live. We were both dropped here by our parents so had no choice but to live here.

I really dont understand why someone would choose to settle here. Maybe it is just the "grass is greener" thinking.

 

[sctsbride09]

Re: How did you decide where (in general) you wanted to live

"Maybe it is just the grass is greener thing", I couldnt agree with you more Radiantquest. Ive lived in Ca my whole life, and I cant see why anyone would want to move here, Im trying to get OUT.Yeah, the weather is great, yada yada, but its so expensive and CROWDED here, it takes an hour to get anywhere,our state is broke, anyway Im ranting.. But maybe when DH and I do end up leaving, maybe we will end up missing "home" even though it doesnt feel that way now.

 

[zoebartlett]

Re: How did you decide where (in general) you wanted to live

RQ -- the weather in NC is perfect! There are 4 seasons but the fall colors aren't as vibrant as they are in the northeast. the winter is much milder than it is here (and where you are). Yeah, the summer is hot, but I don't think it's unbearable. At least everything is ar conditioned, and the heat isn't too bad. spring is gorgeous! That's one of the things I miss about living in NC.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Re: How did you decide where (in general) you wanted to live

I grew up in the midwest and while I love both cities I lived in I HATE the weather. I just cannot handle the long, cold, gray winters. Like Zoe mentioned, I love the weather in NC. We still have all four seasons (I LOVE fall), but our winters are short and mild compared to the north. I also wanted and like living somewhere with low cost of living. Home ownership is important to me. Honestly, I think there are many places in the US I would be happy.

To answer Sabine's question, I have to fly home. 10 hour drives are our limit and I believe it is 15-16 hours.