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How big is too big in the UK? Newly Engaged!

moobasgirl

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Joined
Dec 21, 2010
Messages
7
Hello everyone

I'm in the UK and I'm currently trying to choose my engagement ring.

I am still in University (I'm 22) and my fiance is 12 years older than myself, is a director in a pretty high profile firm. We are trying to choose a round stone to go into a legacy style, but round, halo. We want the diamond to be I VS1-VS2, excellent cut, but just aren't sure how big is too big, especially in the UK where I don't really seem to see many large diamonds. Furthermore, because I am pretty young, I don't want to look silly.

Our budget allows us to go just over 3ct for the centre stone in this quality and I am a size 4.5. However, when we visited a local jewellers (which sells the largest, best quality diamonds in the area) I was only shown halos with 0.5 and 0.75ct centres and the lady told me that any bigger would look gaudy!? I don't think so, but at the same time I don't want to give off the wrong impression.

What would you say is as big as I could go?
 

slg47

Ideal_Rock
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Apr 4, 2010
Messages
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3 carat plus a halo on a size 4.5 sounds rather large! Can you try on some and see what you like the look of on your hand?
 

Pandora II

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To be honest, anything much over a carat.

My brother is a lawyer in London and his wife has 1ct and people comment on it being big.

My BIL is a senior partner in a big London firm and his American wife has 1.5cts and people ask her if it's real all the time.

One of my friends is a doctor married to a senior director at Goldman Sachs - she has 1ct.

Many of my friends who have got engaged in the last 3 years and each earn 6 figure GBP salaries in the finance sector have well under a carat.

All the above are in their mid-late 30's

The only friend I have with a larger stone is a girl who works in the gem business. She has a 2.30ct. She's in her 40's and her husband is a banker. She only wears it on rare occasions - she normally wears a ring with around 3/4 carats.

I wear a 3 stone ring on my right-hand that is just over 2cts total weight and it gets commented on as being HUGE all the time. I was at a wedding last weekend and the centre-stone was bigger than any other diamond in the room and it's only around 0.80ct. The diamonds are also all OECs which face up smaller than modern diamonds. My e-ring is a coloured stone (diamonds aren't my thing). Because people know I'm a gemmologist and nearly 40, I don't get funny looks or bitchy comments about my bling in the way that if you worked for Prada no-one wonders why you have expensive handbags..

Ultimately you should go with the size of stone that you feel comfortable with, but it's worth bearing in mind what your peer-group/friends are likely to have. I will warn you that unfortunately at your age if you wear a 3ct stone the vast majority of people will assume that it is a CZ.

Personally I think that for the UK (and by this I also mean London), I wouldn't go bigger than 1.5ct for a solitaire and 1ct if you are adding a halo.

You could always buy a stone with one of the PS vendors who does an upgrade option and move to a bigger size in the future if you feel that you would be comfortable.

Hope that helps - I know it's weird on a jewellery forum to not say 'BUY THE BIGGEST' but ultimately you want to wear your ring with pride not wonder if you are going to get funny looks or comments about whether it's real or not... btw there's a thread on the subject in Hangout at the moment.
 

moobasgirl

Rough_Rock
Joined
Dec 21, 2010
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7
Thank you both for your reply!

I know what you mean as we mix in circles with the types which you are talking about and nobody seems to have large diamonds. Also, the graduate job which I start next summer is in the finance industry and I don't want to look too showy. I am a long-time lurker though and have always dreamed of having a large ring.

I did put it out there to my fiance about getting a gemstone (sapphire) ring as I thought that if I went for a 3-4ct sapphire then people wouldn't assume it was fake as I'm not sure many people are aware of how pricey coloured stones can be. He wasn't too keen on the idea though as he work in Manhattan for a while and has been taken in by the whole deBeers thing :(
 

Pandora II

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Get a sapphire or a ruby!! Much better and rarer - although not necessarily cheaper. They also hold their value better than diamonds. I can give you the name of a great dealer in London if you do decide to go that route. I'm going to a trade show in a few weeks and one of the highlights is going to be going to drool over his lovely rocks (he also supplies some of the HUGE names in New Bond Street).

That said, I would stay around the 2.5-3ct mark as bigger can look a bit cocktail ring like on small fingers.
 

AprilBaby

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I say who cares what other people think if its what you love. Then again, I am an American. Would you be sorry in 20 years if you passed on what you wanted and now you feel "old enough" to wear that size but it's now too expensive? Get what you love and enjoy!
 

Porridge

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3,267
AprilBaby|1314386306|3000582 said:
I say who cares what other people think if its what you love. Then again, I am an American. Would you be sorry in 20 years if you passed on what you wanted and now you feel "old enough" to wear that size but it's now too expensive? Get what you love and enjoy!
I TOTALLY agree with this (and where I'm from diamonds are even smaller than in the UK!), with the addendum that you should be comfortable with whatever you get. Personally, I would rock a 2.5ct pear in a halo without apology, but it's all personal. Get whatever you want.

The only married/engaged woman I know in the UK has a beautiful 2ct round solitaire with a blingy eternity ring and as far as I know she is totally comfortable wearing it. Her and her husband are both in finance.
 

mjertl

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jun 9, 2011
Messages
203
why not get a slightly smaller (but still large, especially on your petite fingers) stone in a higher quality (DEF, VVS, ideal cut), at around 2 ct? Still big even by US standards! At any rate, you're in a very fortunate situation to be able to have the budget to makes these choices :) congrats on the engagement!
 

bee*

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12,169
Porridge|1314388246|3000635 said:
AprilBaby|1314386306|3000582 said:
I say who cares what other people think if its what you love. Then again, I am an American. Would you be sorry in 20 years if you passed on what you wanted and now you feel "old enough" to wear that size but it's now too expensive? Get what you love and enjoy!
I TOTALLY agree with this (and where I'm from diamonds are even smaller than in the UK!), with the addendum that you should be comfortable with whatever you get. Personally, I would rock a 2.5ct pear in a halo without apology, but it's all personal. Get whatever you want.

I agree! I've gotten comments on my ring being too big and it's only 1.23ct. Once you love it that's all that matters. Who cares if others think it's fake-you know the truth!
 

centralsquare

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Jan 18, 2009
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2,216
moobasgirl|1314375290|3000329 said:
the lady told me that any bigger would look gaudy!?

Who is that crazy lady? My first thought is that, if you want to go with a 3ct, I wouldn't halo it given your concerns. Perhaps upgrade the setting over time? Wait and see how a 3ct makes you feel and then decide about adding extra coverage.

I wouldn't work with a vendor that thinks that 3ct is crazy...I just think you'd never be on the same page about what you want because they don't work in the space where you want to be with your ring.
 

rosetta

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Jan 7, 2010
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3,417
Pandora|1314385610|3000553 said:
Get a sapphire or a ruby!! Much better and rarer - although not necessarily cheaper. They also hold their value better than diamonds. I can give you the name of a great dealer in London if you do decide to go that route. I'm going to a trade show in a few weeks and one of the highlights is going to be going to drool over his lovely rocks (he also supplies some of the HUGE names in New Bond Street).

That said, I would stay around the 2.5-3ct mark as bigger can look a bit cocktail ring like on small fingers.

I agree with this. I do wear a 3 stone ring with a large centre stone, and some people do think it's fake. I don't really mind though, and because my family are big jewellery hounds, I end up mostly mixing with people who have huge and beautiful collections and assume everything is real. But if you want everyone to think it's real, go smaller.

Pandora, I would LOVE to know the name of your UK dealer. I can't find any decent coloured stones here anywhere (can't afford the huge prices on bond st) and buying for colour over the Internet is proving rather difficult to say the least.
 

misssoph

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Apr 22, 2009
Messages
121
If you are worried that z3 carats is too big for the UK why go for an I colour to maximize size? Why not look at DEF in a smaller size or a fabulous fancy yellow?
 

missy

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Jun 8, 2008
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53,980
Porridge|1314388246|3000635 said:
AprilBaby|1314386306|3000582 said:
I say who cares what other people think if its what you love. Then again, I am an American. Would you be sorry in 20 years if you passed on what you wanted and now you feel "old enough" to wear that size but it's now too expensive? Get what you love and enjoy!
I TOTALLY agree with this (and where I'm from diamonds are even smaller than in the UK!), with the addendum that you should be comfortable with whatever you get. Personally, I would rock a 2.5ct pear in a halo without apology, but it's all personal. Get whatever you want.

The only married/engaged woman I know in the UK has a beautiful 2ct round solitaire with a blingy eternity ring and as far as I know she is totally comfortable wearing it. Her and her husband are both in finance.

I totally agree with this as well. Get what you love as long as you can be comfortable wearing it. I don't buy things based on what others will think. You are young so I can understand how you may not be at that point yet- not caring as much about what others think. Life is too short and too precious. There is too much sadness, tragedy and darkness in life. Enjoy the good to the fullest!
Congratulations on your engagement!!
 

february2003bride

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Joined
Jan 18, 2005
Messages
3,551
AprilBaby|1314386306|3000582 said:
I say who cares what other people think if its what you love. Then again, I am an American. Would you be sorry in 20 years if you passed on what you wanted and now you feel "old enough" to wear that size but it's now too expensive? Get what you love and enjoy!

This! It's your finger, your ring.
 

MissStepcut

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Feb03Bride|1314457414|3001516 said:
AprilBaby|1314386306|3000582 said:
I say who cares what other people think if its what you love. Then again, I am an American. Would you be sorry in 20 years if you passed on what you wanted and now you feel "old enough" to wear that size but it's now too expensive? Get what you love and enjoy!

This! It's your finger, your ring.
It sounds like it has the potential to hold her back professionally.

Have you considered an asscher or octavia asscher? I think you can go pretty big in step cuts without seeming ostentatious.
 

Mayk

Ideal_Rock
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4,772
Maybe skip the halo for the larger diamond since your hand is smaller. I love my halo but I get asked all the time how big it is and it is 1.3.... Halos definitely make the stone look larger. I get the impression people think it is larger when I tell them the size.
 

Pandora II

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Joined
Aug 3, 2006
Messages
9,613
rosetta|1314448470|3001398 said:
Pandora|1314385610|3000553 said:
Get a sapphire or a ruby!! Much better and rarer - although not necessarily cheaper. They also hold their value better than diamonds. I can give you the name of a great dealer in London if you do decide to go that route. I'm going to a trade show in a few weeks and one of the highlights is going to be going to drool over his lovely rocks (he also supplies some of the HUGE names in New Bond Street).

That said, I would stay around the 2.5-3ct mark as bigger can look a bit cocktail ring like on small fingers.

I agree with this. I do wear a 3 stone ring with a large centre stone, and some people do think it's fake. I don't really mind though, and because my family are big jewellery hounds, I end up mostly mixing with people who have huge and beautiful collections and assume everything is real. But if you want everyone to think it's real, go smaller.

Pandora, I would LOVE to know the name of your UK dealer. I can't find any decent coloured stones here anywhere (can't afford the huge prices on bond st) and buying for colour over the Internet is proving rather difficult to say the least.

I won't give his actual name as I don't know if he'd be happy with that, but have a look at topgems.co.uk. It's his end customer website. Not all his stones are on there by any means so always worth dropping him an email to ask what he might have. I know he travels a lot and I think is currently in Thailand in case you don't get an answer straight away. Anyway, I can vouch for his stones being top notch and his prices being very reasonable for the UK. You won't find stones with icky cuts on there either! The site is also fascinating - as is his trade one which you can look at but doesn't have prices.
 

rosetta

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 7, 2010
Messages
3,417
Pandora|1314483198|3002105 said:
rosetta|1314448470|3001398 said:
Pandora|1314385610|3000553 said:
Get a sapphire or a ruby!! Much better and rarer - although not necessarily cheaper. They also hold their value better than diamonds. I can give you the name of a great dealer in London if you do decide to go that route. I'm going to a trade show in a few weeks and one of the highlights is going to be going to drool over his lovely rocks (he also supplies some of the HUGE names in New Bond Street).

That said, I would stay around the 2.5-3ct mark as bigger can look a bit cocktail ring like on small fingers.

I agree with this. I do wear a 3 stone ring with a large centre stone, and some people do think it's fake. I don't really mind though, and because my family are big jewellery hounds, I end up mostly mixing with people who have huge and beautiful collections and assume everything is real. But if you want everyone to think it's real, go smaller.

Pandora, I would LOVE to know the name of your UK dealer. I can't find any decent coloured stones here anywhere (can't afford the huge prices on bond st) and buying for colour over the Internet is proving rather difficult to say the least.

I won't give his actual name as I don't know if he'd be happy with that, but have a look at topgems.co.uk. It's his end customer website. Not all his stones are on there by any means so always worth dropping him an email to ask what he might have. I know he travels a lot and I think is currently in Thailand in case you don't get an answer straight away. Anyway, I can vouch for his stones being top notch and his prices being very reasonable for the UK. You won't find stones with icky cuts on there either! The site is also fascinating - as is his trade one which you can look at but doesn't have prices.

Thanks so much Pandora! Do you know if I can use my UK jeweller to call in a stone from his trade site? I have a wish list of coloured stones that I want to slowly work through, and I've stopped buying stones left, right and centre now, wanting to concentrate on getting the stones I REALLY want.

Thanks again! :wavey:
 

JaymeC

Rough_Rock
Joined
Mar 28, 2011
Messages
54
I think that 3 carats in a halo on a small finder might be a bit much. Have you had the opportunity to try this on? If you have and you love it, I say get it! Don't allow others opinions to decide for you, but you do have to be comfortable.
 

Pandora II

Ideal_Rock
Joined
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Messages
9,613
rosetta|1314489659|3002355 said:
Thanks so much Pandora! Do you know if I can use my UK jeweller to call in a stone from his trade site? I have a wish list of coloured stones that I want to slowly work through, and I've stopped buying stones left, right and centre now, wanting to concentrate on getting the stones I REALLY want.

Thanks again! :wavey:

I'm 99.9% certain that you can do that. I'll ask him how much of his stock is online as well. Are you based in London?
 

RebeccaMUA

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Joined
May 16, 2010
Messages
205
Pandora|1314385610|3000553 said:
Get a sapphire or a ruby!! Much better and rarer - although not necessarily cheaper. They also hold their value better than diamonds.

So glad to hear that! I have a sapphire as my engagement ring and you are right about them not being cheaper, but I'm glad they at least hold their value well :D
 

Pandora II

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That looks like one beautiful rock in your avatar!
 

gem_anemone

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Messages
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I just got engaged, so maybe I don't have good perspective, but I think since it's your ring and you are the one wearing it that you should just get what you're happy with and not worry what others think. I have a somewhat similar problem with my diamond. It's not that people think mine is fake because it's so big, but that people don't know what cut it is nor when I tell them what it is, they do not find it very interesting or know that it is at all special.

I live in the midwest and most girls here don't wear anything other than round or square (princess). I've seen one marquise and one asscher. Mine is an ideal cut (0,0,0) square hearts and arrows. Everyone asks me if it's a princess. ;( When I tell them what it is they have no idea what I'm talking about. Even girls who have engagement rings don't know much about diamonds, which surprised me as I had fun learning about them when choosing a ring and I wanted to get something different and special to me. I have since stopped offering information about my cut since no one seems to care anyway. :roll: I love it and that's all that matters. :praise:
 

slg47

Ideal_Rock
Joined
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Messages
9,667
gem_anemone|1314709900|3005298 said:
I just got engaged, so maybe I don't have good perspective, but I think since it's your ring and you are the one wearing it that you should just get what you're happy with and not worry what others think. I have a somewhat similar problem with my diamond. It's not that people think mine is fake because it's so big, but that people don't know what cut it is nor when I tell them what it is, they do not find it very interesting or know that it is at all special.

I live in the midwest and most girls here don't wear anything other than round or square (princess). I've seen one marquise and one asscher. Mine is an ideal cut (0,0,0) square hearts and arrows. Everyone asks me if it's a princess. ;( When I tell them what it is they have no idea what I'm talking about. Even girls who have engagement rings don't know much about diamonds, which surprised me as I had fun learning about them when choosing a ring and I wanted to get something different and special to me. I have since stopped offering information about my cut since no one seems to care anyway. :roll: I love it and that's all that matters. :praise:

gem_anemone I think it is special :)
 

gem_anemone

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
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Messages
682
slg47|1314810204|3006476 said:
gem_anemone|1314709900|3005298 said:
I just got engaged, so maybe I don't have good perspective, but I think since it's your ring and you are the one wearing it that you should just get what you're happy with and not worry what others think. I have a somewhat similar problem with my diamond. It's not that people think mine is fake because it's so big, but that people don't know what cut it is nor when I tell them what it is, they do not find it very interesting or know that it is at all special.

I live in the midwest and most girls here don't wear anything other than round or square (princess). I've seen one marquise and one asscher. Mine is an ideal cut (0,0,0) square hearts and arrows. Everyone asks me if it's a princess. ;( When I tell them what it is they have no idea what I'm talking about. Even girls who have engagement rings don't know much about diamonds, which surprised me as I had fun learning about them when choosing a ring and I wanted to get something different and special to me. I have since stopped offering information about my cut since no one seems to care anyway. :roll: I love it and that's all that matters. :praise:

gem_anemone I think it is special :)


Thank you slg47! You just made my day! :bigsmile: I love your ring as well!
 

jaysonsmom

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Mar 13, 2004
Messages
4,879
Yes, my SIL who lived in London(her husband is a McKinnsey associate) wears a 3/4 carat, and she gets the "big diamond" comment.

This is my personal opinion, you can take it with a grain of salt. I would not halo a diamond over 2 carats. That is my cut off. Whereas I've seen some gorgeous halo rings on PS for centerstones 2ct+, they are done by some really skilled and expensive benchmen, and done with the perfect angles to minimize the diameter.

Since you are a 4.5 ring size, you can take a look at frankiextah(sp?) for inspiration...I think her 2ct+ halo is still tasteful and beautiful. for your budget, I'd get a higher color 2ct, and a really awesome custom setting, which can easily set you back 10K just for the setting.
 

iugurl

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jan 1, 2011
Messages
476
Get what you and your FI wants! DO NOT let anyone pressure you into getting a smaller stone or a colored stone (unless YOU want to get either of those!)
 

Deia

Brilliant_Rock
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Oct 6, 2008
Messages
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Get what you want! I'd go for around 2cts. You have small fingers so it will look super big!

I work in London and i'd say most of what I see is around 1ct but I work in investment banking and LOTS of the ladies here wear 2cts+

Depends on your environment tbh.
 

yennyfire

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Feb03Bride|1314457414|3001516 said:
AprilBaby|1314386306|3000582 said:
I say who cares what other people think if its what you love. Then again, I am an American. Would you be sorry in 20 years if you passed on what you wanted and now you feel "old enough" to wear that size but it's now too expensive? Get what you love and enjoy!

This! It's your finger, your ring.

Thritto!
 

diamondmama

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Joined
Aug 25, 2011
Messages
20
I'm from Northern Ireland ....so technically the UK and there are loads of big diamonds over here. I was a nanny for almost 8 years and I worked for a girl who had a 1.8 D-FL from Cartier....It was beautiful. I also have a rep with a 3.67ct brilliant cut ( I posted this info in another thread earlier so forgive me for this) so I say go for it....It's personal choice and apparently your diamond starts to get smaller the longer you have it....shrinkage I think they call it??

I think what we lack is knowledge about the cut of a diamond.....I own a bridal shop and all I hear when I comment on a girls engagement ring is....Oh...it's a D colour. That's where the knowledge begins and ends...with D colour. I am delighted I found pricescope because without the knowledge I'd prob have went to the local jeweller to get a poor quality diamond....but at least its a D!!

Good luck and can't wait to see your pics!! x
 
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