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How big is big?

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anavrin

Rough_Rock
Joined
Jun 19, 2007
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Okay, let me start by saying that this forum is GREAT! Thank you everyone for helping the "not so knowledgable" such as myself.

Now, on to my question. I''m beginning the search for an engagement ring and I want it to be a total surprise, so no questioning the GF about exactly what she wants. I know from her friends that she wants a simple setting (like a plat. 4 or 6 prong tiffany style) and "a big rock". Now here''s my dilemma, what in the world does that mean?!?

With that knowledge I''ve been looking at RBs (I know she wants this shape as well) between 1.25 and 1.5ct. or so because I''d like to spend about $8500 (give or take). I think that is a little more than she would expect me to spend so that may be a plus in my favor as far as what "big" means to her. She doesn''t really wear rings at all so I can''t even compare to anything she already owns.

I''d like to get your opinions on this. Should I go for a G-H, VS1-SI1 at 1.25 or an H-I, VS2-SI2 at 1.5? No matter what I want the diamond to be an ideal cut and eyeclean, so clarity doesn''t really bother me too much, I''m willing to go down to SI2 but I would feel more comfortable at SI1 or above. I''m just not sure how comfortable I''d be dropping down to an I (or even J?) just to get something at 1.5+. It doesn''t seem like there are a lot of good options between the 1.28 - 1.49 range so finding something in the middle doesn''t appear like an option either.

My gut keeps telling me to go 1.25ish with a vendor that has a good trade-up policy. That way, if she''s really wants a bigger diamond with lower quality color we can do that afterwards. But, I just don''t know.

So very confused!
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Any help/opinions/suggestions/personal experiences would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!

~anavrin
 
well, ''big'' is at least as big as what''s common in her/your area. i would say that no matter where you are, a good size rock is going to be over 1ct. once you get over that, everything just starts to look big, bigger, and huge. if you need to squeeze more size out of your budget, do not hesitate going with a i/j si stone. as long as it is well cut and from a respected vendor that can judge the inclusions in person, you will be perfectly fine. sparkle is all that you will see!

DG00107(3).jpg
 
Date: 6/20/2007 3:19:47 PM
Author:anavrin
Okay, let me start by saying that this forum is GREAT! Thank you everyone for helping the 'not so knowledgable' such as myself.

Now, on to my question. I'm beginning the search for an engagement ring and I want it to be a total surprise, so no questioning the GF about exactly what she wants. I know from her friends that she wants a simple setting (like a plat. 4 or 6 prong tiffany style) and 'a big rock'. Now here's my dilemma, what in the world does that mean?!?

With that knowledge I've been looking at RBs (I know she wants this shape as well) between 1.25 and 1.5ct. or so because I'd like to spend about $8500 (give or take). I think that is a little more than she would expect me to spend so that may be a plus in my favor as far as what 'big' means to her. She doesn't really wear rings at all so I can't even compare to anything she already owns.

I'd like to get your opinions on this. Should I go for a G-H, VS1-SI1 at 1.25 or an H-I, VS2-SI2 at 1.5? No matter what I want the diamond to be an ideal cut and eyeclean, so clarity doesn't really bother me too much, I'm willing to go down to SI2 but I would feel more comfortable at SI1 or above. I'm just not sure how comfortable I'd be dropping down to an I (or even J?) just to get something at 1.5+. It doesn't seem like there are a lot of good options between the 1.28 - 1.49 range so finding something in the middle doesn't appear like an option either.

My gut keeps telling me to go 1.25ish with a vendor that has a good trade-up policy. That way, if she's really wants a bigger diamond with lower quality color we can do that afterwards. But, I just don't know.

So very confused!
33.gif
Any help/opinions/suggestions/personal experiences would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!

~anavrin
Click to expand...
BIG depends on several factors.......What is her ring size? If she has really small hands.....then a 1.25 will be very big!! or on the other hand if she has large hands......then a 1.25 will not be that big on her hand. You might want to put some accent diamonds around the diamond to give it more presence if this is the case!!!!

Also, how color sensitive is she? If she very color sensitve dont go below an H.

You are correct on clarity, as long as it is completely EYE CLEAN to you and it does not bother you that it is not a VS1 or better then this is good. But, personally, I have to have VS1 or better, but this is Just ME!!!

The best choice you have made is to buy from a vendor that has a lifetime upgrade policy. I bought my 3 ACAs from WhiteFlash, but there are other vendors as well that have upgrade policies and great diamonds on PS.

Dont sacrifice cut quality or quality of stone.....because you will be disappointed.

Here is my fiancee ring with the 3 ACAs from Whiteflash. Maytal Hannah custom made the settting

Good Luck
MWG
 
Where do you live? "Big" is really defined by your social circle. What do your friends have?

Here in the Midwest, my stone is pretty big at a well cut .81. But in NY or LA, you''d have to go over 2ct. to be even remotely
"big".

A 1.25-1.5 is very safe though for most parts of the country, and completely extravagant in others.
 
I know that you don''t want to ask her, but has she ever hinted towards a carat range? Does she talk about a friend''s ring that she loves?
 
We live just outside of Baltimore, MD. One our friends has a 1.25ct. H VS1 enagagement ring (her husband showed me the cert when I was talking to him about rings). Other than that, I''m not exactly sure what our other friends have. I''m usually talking to the guys while the girls are talking about rings. Lesson learned though, I should have been eavesdropping in those situations!

My GF has a 5 - 5.5 ring size, I think.

~anavrin
 
Date: 6/20/2007 4:06:21 PM
Author: anavrin
We live just outside of Baltimore, MD. One our friends has a 1.25ct. H VS1 enagagement ring (her husband showed me the cert when I was talking to him about rings). Other than that, I''m not exactly sure what our other friends have. I''m usually talking to the guys while the girls are talking about rings. Lesson learned though, I should have been eavesdropping in those situations!


My GF has a 5 - 5.5 ring size, I think.


~anavrin
Click to expand...

Hmmm...hard to say then. I would go as big as you are comfortable going. You are very smart not to compromise on cut.

I would go check out a number of GIA/AGS certified diamonds in different colors and see if you''re color sensitive. If not, you could easily drop to an I to squeeze a bit more size out of it.

But I really think 1.25 on a size 5.5 finger is more than respectable.
 
I lived in Baltimore for a few years, and the suburb folks have some pretty decent-sized bling.
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I''d say stick with what you''ve been told so far, and work with a vendor who has a good trade-up policy. Most women in the states prefer color over clarity so I''d try to stick with H and above, SI2 and above, and you should be able to find a very nice diamond. And you never know what you will find - I seem to recall reading about a PSer who had a $10,000 budget...she ended up with a 2+ct F I2 and was VERY pleased with it.

Does your budget include the setting? Most people seem to prefer platinum but I wanted to go for a larger, better diamond so I got 18k white gold, saving more than $1,000 in the process (or putting the extra money into the diamond itself).
 
Date: 6/20/2007 4:25:56 PM
Author: JenStone
Does your budget include the setting?
Click to expand...

Nope, I''m willing to spend around $8500 on the stone by itself. I''m going to get a very simple setting so I don''t expect it to be any more than $1k.

~anavrin
 
How big is big? Just a little bigger than big.

I bought a 1.93 ct. stone thinking it would be pretty big, but the more I get used to looking at it, the more I starting thinking it''s not big enough.
 
Date: 6/20/2007 5:48:47 PM
Author: fanboy
How big is big? Just a little bigger than big.


I bought a 1.93 ct. stone thinking it would be pretty big, but the more I get used to looking at it, the more I starting thinking it''s not big enough.
Click to expand...

To be fair, you also have an asscher which faces up probably the smallest of any stone out there. But your stone is GORGEOUS. I wouldn''t worry about it.
 
OK. Two things... #1: Diamond Shrinkage Syndrome may WELL set in sooner or later... so buy from a vendor with an upgrade policy. *VERY IMPORTANT*!
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#2: You can probably never go TOO BIG
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so go as big as you can. You may be pleasantly surprised at just how *low* you can go in color and clarity (never compromise on CUT, though). That can buy a LOT of yummy SIZE!

I have an AGS-0 RB, 2.36, J/SI2 (very white, 100% eye-clean)... and it''s a beauty. So in the color/clarity department, I am speaking from personal experience!

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Size is relative. Depends on how big her fingers/hands are. And what the average size of an ering is where you live. Not that you should go smaller or larger based on what other people have! But I have a nearly 2.5ct center stone, wear a size 7.75 ring and honestly, in some lighting my ring looks quite small on my finger. Then other times in certain lighting conditions, it looks very big. Depends on the lighting. Weird, I know, but true. I see some people''s finger shots on here and think they''ve got at least a 2ct stone, and then I''m shocked to read it''s less than 1 ct, but their fingers must be alot smaller than mine because their stones look proportionately the same as mine does on my finger. So yeah, it''s all about what size ring she wears AND how large her hands are.
 
How big is big? Big is bigger than her friend''s ring!
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If the standard in your circle is 1.25 ... "big" means 1.5+. No matter WHAT size her hand is. Just make sure you''re getting a 1.5 carat that faces up as "big" as it should.

If her cultural background isn''t color-smitten ... then H & I should be safe with super ideal cuts -- "J" i lovely too but IMO best for people picking out their own stones ... just because it could cause needless alarm in someone who isn''t as knowledgable about super-ideal-cuts looking "whiter".
 
Here''s another male opinion, and one who is still shopping at that.

Good that you''re going to buy a quality cut, because she''ll probably appreciate the sparkly factor whether she knows it yet or not, and they say it makes a stone look bigger.

Then, ask yourself if your decisions on color and clarity are based on what it would take to please her, or if you want to impress those guys from the BBQ when your showing certifications to each other (or to the regular posters to PS). I''m pretty sure my girlfriend has no idea what the color and clarity of her friends diamonds are, but she sure knows how many carats they are.

When I started I had in mind that I couldn''t go lower than G in color. There''s not many super ideals I can see in person where I live, but there is an EightStar dealer who showed me a J. When he put it against a white sheet of paper I could definitely see the yellow tint. When he put it in a sample setting, all I noticed, and more importantly all she noticed, is that stone has some serious bling factor going on. So I''m listening to what her priorties are, and I''m looking at I-J stones so I can get more size.

I''m sticking to VS2 and really that''s more me than her (thus violating what I just said), in order to keep my mind at ease that the stone is eye clean. Make those judgements for yourself, and as everyone says it really helps if you can see some quality stones in person to help. And then go as big as you can.

One other thing. Lot''s of PS posters emphasize a trade-up policy. But I think for some women, as long as the original stone is not so small as to embaress them with their friends, they will prefer to keep the original stone for sentimental reasons. It''s not the same as trading in a car. Might want to guess whether your girlfriend is that type.

good luck
 
This may be heresy, but offers a different perspective... My friends and I have always given our husbands/boyfriends grief about wanting "big" rocks. We know it makes them nervous, and it''s fun to play the game. After 20+ years, it still makes my husband nervous, which is not a trival thing to do. In reality, we probably do want nice big diamonds, but we are also practical and sentimental about it. I would feel awful if my boyfriend/husband gave me something beyond his or our means, and I would appreciate anything he gave me if I knew his intentions were on the right path (about us and our life together, about what I like, what he thinks will look great on me, etc...). Big is defined about your environment, peers, lifestyle, age, etc. I had a 1.25ct stone originally, which was "big" in my surroundings. 16 years later, we upgraded to a 2.5+ stone, which is still "big" in my group of close friends, but not always "big" in my wider group of peers.

I would find the biggest stone that is beautiful to your eyes (she will look at it everyday...) and is in your budget, and then I would quit worrying about the size. It doesn''t sound as if she is a big jewelry person, so odds are that the ring that you pick with a lot of thought will wow her.

good luck!
 
Date: 6/20/2007 5:48:47 PM
Author: fanboy
How big is big? Just a little bigger than big.

I bought a 1.93 ct. stone thinking it would be pretty big, but the more I get used to looking at it, the more I starting thinking it''s not big enough.
Click to expand...
Yes. But YOU bought an asscher, and with asscher''s anything under 4 carats is NOT big. DSS sets in VERY quickly with asschers.

I''d go for a 1.5 round for your girl anarvin. H-I ACA SI1 or SI2 eyeclean. She wants big. Go for Cut quality first, then size... then the rest.
 
As big as you can afford.
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I'm afraid Diamond Shrinkage Syndrome may be a long-term affliction.
 
I am not sure if I should weigh in because I have a fairly large stone, but big is relative and everyone has a different opinion....but big is what is a bit larger than what is common among her friends...
 
Maybe I missed it but what color ring are you getting? I mean, even with platinum prongs on a yellow gold setting it helps out alot to have the yellow underneath. Then when you see a fiant yellow it wouldn't be too surprising I think. But if you had a beautiful white setting and a clearly yellow J on top--well then, from the side at least--it would be very out of place.

but at the same time I think that if you got something like this diamond:

Another WF, 1.56 8.8k with PS discount


in this setting:

WF setting

Then in that setting there is very little chance that she would notice a particularly yellow hue to the diamond. As you kno the background and sourounding environment affects the color, and it is TERRIBLY difficult to discern diamond color from the table, which is just about all this is exposing. That will then allow you to maximize the brilliance and beauty of the cut of your diamond, while masking the yellow hue and still giving her a very large diamond to show off. And then even from the side she can still see diamond because of the surprise stone-thus meaning that she really isn't losing anything from any angle.

Also, as an SI1 ACA it is required to be eye clean from the top, and with a setting like that there is no way to see it from the side, plus it has the upgrade policy if she wanted a different setting you could always change the diamond out for a whiter cleaner one later--if it was necessary.

If it was me I would pursue options such as those.


From my initial search that looks like a great find. But there are a lot of other non-in house diamonds worth inspecting as well! Happy hunting!
 
To the best of my knowledge, most consumers (90 or so percent, my best guess without creating a flowchart!) purchase between .5 and .75 carats. The most popular shapes, of course, are round and princess. I''d estimate that, even though the lovely ladies of PS have some sizeable stones, perhaps even fewer than 10% of women are walking around with more than a carat. Take heart! And good luck.

Of course I agree with diamondfan''s sentiment: Big is anything bigger than what her friends have. Hee hee.
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I agree with diamond fan that big is whatever is a bit bigger than what is common amongst her friends. I have a 1ct cushion which gets attention amongst my friends primarily because it''s very sparkly, but not because it''s big (especially since cushions don''t face up as big as rounds). My friends have 1.5 minimum usually.

I was in Vegas this weekend and was astounded by the comments I got on the ring (Vegas is also pretty good for the sparkly factor). Bartenders told my husband he''d better win some money because I was obviously expensive to keep around seeing that I had such a big rock. Another lady at a craps table threw the dice outside the table and said, oops sorry, she was distracted by my giant diamond. I was thinking, huh? But starting to look around, I noticed a lot of the people had very small, unsparkly diamonds.

Cut cut cut!
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There are a few factors involved in determining what is considered ''big'':

What looks big on the person''s hand
The average stone size in the area where you''ll be living
The stone size that the wearer has always considered to be ''big''
 
Date: 6/20/2007 8:19:58 PM
Author: Julianna
To the best of my knowledge, most consumers (90 or so percent, my best guess without creating a flowchart!) purchase between .5 and .75 carats. The most popular shapes, of course, are round and princess. I'd estimate that, even though the lovely ladies of PS have some sizeable stones, perhaps even fewer than 10% of women are walking around with more than a carat. Take heart! And good luck.

Of course I agree with diamondfan's sentiment: Big is anything bigger than what her friends have. Hee hee.
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Click to expand...
Ditto Julianna and DF! The Pricescope world isn't the real one and most women have less than a carat apparently ( especially where I live) and yes, bigger is larger than her friends' diamonds!
 
I definitely think "big" is in relation to what your gf''s friends have.

I have thick and long fingers. My ring is 1.11, size 55 (UK sizing - I guess somewhere around a 7 - 7.5 in the US?) I was previously looking at 1.8-2 range because that''s what most of my friends have and that''s what we could afford; but when I saw MY ring, I just knew it was MY ring and that made me feel like it was just HUGE.

Smaller than my friends'', but also far better quality IMO.

I have a good friend who bought his fiancee a 2 carat ring, and he was gloating that "he won" because his fiancee then had the largest ring out of all her friends. He definitely bought her the biggest ring he could afford, but it''s such poor quality. I mean, it literally looks like a piece of glass on her finger. I''ll take my 1.11 D VS1 anyday!!
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