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Hotel Rooms for Wedding Party?

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wyndham

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jan 20, 2008
Messages
162
Hello All,
Our wedding is in a big city, and we would like to pay for hotel rooms for our attendants. We have 6 bridesmaids and 6 groomsmen, and some are married and a few are single. Hotel rooms at our venue are very expensive, so I'm trying to help out our attendants without breaking our wedding budget. Do you think it would be alright for us to ask our attendants to double up in rooms? We have 3 single bridesmaids, 3 married bridesmaids, 3 single groomsmen, and 3 married groomsmen--how many rooms do you think we need to get? I was thinking of getting 6 rooms total and asking the women to double up and the men to double up...but is it fair to ask a single person to stay with a married couple?
Everyone knows each other decently well but not super well.

Thanks in advance for your opinions!


ETA: I forgot to mention that we will need to get hotel rooms for everyone for Friday and Saturday nights. Thanks!
 

wyndham

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jan 20, 2008
Messages
162
Everyone will be flying in for the wedding except for 1 of the married groomsmen -- he lives in the city where the wedding is being held.
 

CDNinNYC

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 21, 2007
Messages
2,216
Hmmm, to me it would look like you would need 8 rooms. One for each of the married bridesmaids/groomsmen (6), one for the 3 single bridesmaids (1), and one for the 3 single groomsmen (1).

I''m assuming the attendants who are single will not bring dates?
 

wyndham

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jan 20, 2008
Messages
162
Date: 2/5/2009 4:44:36 PM
Author: CDNinNYC
Hmmm, to me it would look like you would need 8 rooms. One for each of the married bridesmaids/groomsmen (6), one for the 3 single bridesmaids (1), and one for the 3 single groomsmen (1).

I''m assuming the attendants who are single will not bring dates?
Thanks CDNinNYC. You''re correct -- the singles won''t be bringing dates. Do you think 3 bridesmaids to one room is too many?
 

CDNinNYC

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Oct 21, 2007
Messages
2,216
I think most hotels have rooms that can accommodate four per room (two double beds). As long as two of them are ok with sharing a bed, I think it''s ok.

If you haven''t already, you might want to call the hotel and find out how their rooms are set up.
 

tlh

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 31, 2008
Messages
4,511
I may be weird on this, but I think you should do what you can.
This can be interpretted any which way. The singles may be slighted they didn''t EACH get their OWN room, if you get EACH MARRIED couple THEIR OWN ROOM. I mean, what if they find someone intrigueing at the party they want to get to know better???


That said, I would get rooms w/ double beds. 1 room for single girls. 1 room for single guys. They often times have pull out couches or a roll in bed if they mind sharing.

Then have the marrieds share too. or 3 rooms for the married couples.
TOTAL 5 rooms.

If THEY have a problem with sharing, they can pay for their own room. Most married couples don''t need to DO IT after someone''s wedding. They often times just want to sleep.

IMHO a gift is a gift. So you can combine them all... OR, give them EACH their own room.
12 - 1 bed rooms.
 

musey

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Sep 30, 2006
Messages
11,242
Date: 2/5/2009 4:53:01 PM
Author: CDNinNYC
I think most hotels have rooms that can accommodate four per room (two double beds). As long as two of them are ok with sharing a bed, I think it''s ok.
Yes, this is the deciding factor...
 

wyndham

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jan 20, 2008
Messages
162
Date: 2/5/2009 5:03:20 PM
Author: musey

Date: 2/5/2009 4:53:01 PM
Author: CDNinNYC
I think most hotels have rooms that can accommodate four per room (two double beds). As long as two of them are ok with sharing a bed, I think it''s ok.
Yes, this is the deciding factor...
We can get rooms with two double beds or one king bed...
 

wyndham

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jan 20, 2008
Messages
162
Date: 2/5/2009 5:01:26 PM
Author: tlh
I may be weird on this, but I think you should do what you can.
This can be interpretted any which way. The singles may be slighted they didn''t EACH get their OWN room, if you get EACH MARRIED couple THEIR OWN ROOM. I mean, what if they find someone intrigueing at the party they want to get to know better???


That said, I would get rooms w/ double beds. 1 room for single girls. 1 room for single guys. They often times have pull out couches or a roll in bed if they mind sharing.

Then have the marrieds share too. or 3 rooms for the married couples.
TOTAL 5 rooms.

If THEY have a problem with sharing, they can pay for their own room. Most married couples don''t need to DO IT after someone''s wedding. They often times just want to sleep.

IMHO a gift is a gift. So you can combine them all... OR, give them EACH their own room.
12 - 1 bed rooms.
Thanks TLH...I was wondering if people thought it would be weird to have two married couples share a room. I would be totally fine with it personally, but I don''t want to impose that on my friends/my FI''s friends. If we did the 5 room thing, there would be one BM and her husband and one GM and his wife sharing a room and they wouldn''t know each other...that''s too weird, right? What should I do about that? I don''t want to appear to be "rewarding" the married friends and giving them their own rooms while making the singles cram 3 to a room...
 

honey22

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jul 28, 2007
Messages
4,458
I would absolutely not expect two married couples to share a room. I would not be happy with that arrangement so I wouldn''t offer it to someone else.

I really think if you are going to pay for accommodation, you can''t expect the singles to share. Some people (including myself) are very private and wouldn''t want to share with friends.
 

Sabine

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 16, 2007
Messages
3,446
I think it really depends on the couple and how well they know each other. 2 of my bridesmaids were each other''s roommates in college, I would feel confident saying they would not mind sharing a room with their husbands. But I wouldn''t put married couples together unless they knew each other really well!

Is it possible to just ask them who/if they would feel comfortable rooming with? You never know, what if something comes up and one husband/wife can''t come or something.
 

blackpolkadot

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jun 4, 2008
Messages
495
I think you should offer to book x amount of rooms, and tell them that''s what you can afford. You understand that they may not want to share, but this is what you can do. If they want a private room, they can pay for it.

This might seem inconsiderate, but I think it is a nice gesture to offer to pay for the room. If they are uncomfortable sharing a room, then it is up to them to pay for it.

For my wedding, all the GMs (6) are sharing 2 rooms and the BMs (4) are staying with me in a 2 bedroom house. None of them have had a problem with it so far.
 

wyndham

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jan 20, 2008
Messages
162
Date: 2/5/2009 6:11:39 PM
Author: Sabine
I think it really depends on the couple and how well they know each other. 2 of my bridesmaids were each other''s roommates in college, I would feel confident saying they would not mind sharing a room with their husbands. But I wouldn''t put married couples together unless they knew each other really well!

Is it possible to just ask them who/if they would feel comfortable rooming with? You never know, what if something comes up and one husband/wife can''t come or something.
Thanks Sabine--the situation you described about your bridesmaids is the exact same situation I have: two of them were roommates for 3 years of college and definitely wouldn''t mind sharing a room with each other/their husbands. I think your suggestion about asking them is a good idea -- I don''t want anyone to feel like they have to stay with someone else if they''re not comfortable with it.
 

meresal

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 13, 2007
Messages
5,720
Date: 2/5/2009 6:09:33 PM
Author: honey22
I would absolutely not expect two married couples to share a room. I would not be happy with that arrangement so I wouldn''t offer it to someone else.

I really think if you are going to pay for accommodation, you can''t expect the singles to share. Some people (including myself) are very private and wouldn''t want to share with friends.
I''m going to have to agree as far as the married couples are concerned. Each couple should have their own room.

As far as the singles... I shared a room with another BM at a DW in Cancun. It wasn''t bad, we really got along. But 3 in one room. I think that might be a bit much. I would just ask them what they are comfortable with?

How many nights are they all going to need rooms? What if you offered to cover one night for everyone, instead of the entire weekend?
 

Clairitek

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jul 21, 2008
Messages
4,881
I agree with Honey22. I wouldn''t expect married couples to share a room with anyone.



Date: 2/5/2009 6:46:51 PM
Author: meresal


Date: 2/5/2009 6:09:33 PM
Author: honey22
I would absolutely not expect two married couples to share a room. I would not be happy with that arrangement so I wouldn''t offer it to someone else.

I really think if you are going to pay for accommodation, you can''t expect the singles to share. Some people (including myself) are very private and wouldn''t want to share with friends.
I''m going to have to agree as far as the married couples are concerned. Each couple should have their own room.

As far as the singles... I shared a room with another BM at a DW in Cancun. It wasn''t bad, we really got along. But 3 in one room. I think that might be a bit much. I would just ask them what they are comfortable with?

How many nights are they all going to need rooms? What if you offered to cover one night for everyone, instead of the entire weekend?
I think that this is a good suggestion for how to give people something without breaking your budget.
 

PilsnPinkysMom

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Oct 11, 2008
Messages
1,878
I think it''s sweet that you''re trying to cover the hotel costs for your bridal party... Very considerate. That being said- your party shouldn''t EXPECT you to cover the hotel costs, so I don''t think they can gripe too much about being paired up. I, personally, wouldn''t mind sharing with another married couple-- but that''s a totally personal thing.

Have you thought about adding up the $$ you would spend on hotel rooms (lets say 5 rooms at 200/night x 2 nights... nevermind taxes and parking).. $2000. What if you divide the 2k by the number of attendants (12, right?) and give it to them in the form of money? (Cash/check/gift card for the hotel. Some hotels offer gift cards, or else they can be purchased through travelocity/hotels.com/etc)

Ettiquite police, please don''t beat me up. I know people frown upon cash/gift card gifts (I personally see nothing wrong with them...), but this way each individual or couple can put it towards his/her own room... And you can even preface the present by saying, "I was going to book X-number of hotel rooms, but didn''t know who would or wouldn''t be keen on sharing... So this way you can get your own room, choose to double up with another person, or do whatever else you would like. I hope this helps to "take the edge off," because we would really like for all of you to be able to stay at the hotel and celebrate for the whole weekend."

Just a thought
 

emeraldlover1

Ideal_Rock
Joined
May 20, 2006
Messages
2,913
If I was your bridesmaid and you very generously offered to pay for my room if my fiance and I bunked up with another couple, I would have to decline. Reason being, my fiance would not be comfortable with this. We are considering going to our friend''s wedding in Napa in June and two of our best friends have offered to share a room with us so that we can save some money and he won''t even go for that.

I think it is nice that you are willing to help with the cost of the room. Does this partly have to do with the fact that you are staying at an expensive place? If that is the case then I would suggest a variation to what the last poster suggested. How about splitting up the money per person and offering that amount towards their room?? If they want to share a room then you can tecnically pay for their whole room. Does that make sense?
 

wyndham

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jan 20, 2008
Messages
162
Date: 2/6/2009 9:49:28 PM
Author: emeraldlover1
If I was your bridesmaid and you very generously offered to pay for my room if my fiance and I bunked up with another couple, I would have to decline. Reason being, my fiance would not be comfortable with this. We are considering going to our friend''s wedding in Napa in June and two of our best friends have offered to share a room with us so that we can save some money and he won''t even go for that.

I think it is nice that you are willing to help with the cost of the room. Does this partly have to do with the fact that you are staying at an expensive place? If that is the case then I would suggest a variation to what the last poster suggested. How about splitting up the money per person and offering that amount towards their room?? If they want to share a room then you can tecnically pay for their whole room. Does that make sense?
Thanks Emeraldlover...I appreciate your suggestions! You nailed it--we really want everyone to stay at this particular hotel for the sake of convenience, but I don''t think it would be right to ask them to stay at this particular hotel ($$$$) without paying for all or most of their rooms. I think we''ll probably just get the married couples their own rooms, put 2 single BMs in one room, and then one BM can have her own room.

Do you all think it''s fine to have the hotel ask them for a credit card at check in for incidentals (i.e. room service, pay per view movies, etc.)?
 

Elmorton

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jul 5, 2007
Messages
3,998
Date: 2/5/2009 5:01:26 PM
Author: tlh
I may be weird on this, but I think you should do what you can.

This can be interpretted any which way. The singles may be slighted they didn''t EACH get their OWN room, if you get EACH MARRIED couple THEIR OWN ROOM. I mean, what if they find someone intrigueing at the party they want to get to know better???



That said, I would get rooms w/ double beds. 1 room for single girls. 1 room for single guys. They often times have pull out couches or a roll in bed if they mind sharing.


Then have the marrieds share too. or 3 rooms for the married couples.

TOTAL 5 rooms.


If THEY have a problem with sharing, they can pay for their own room. Most married couples don''t need to DO IT after someone''s wedding. They often times just want to sleep.


IMHO a gift is a gift. So you can combine them all... OR, give them EACH their own room.

12 - 1 bed rooms.

Ditto this.

The one thing I wouldn''t do is put couples or people together who don''t know each other, too. For example, at my wedding, two single gals in my wedding party shared a room with a married couple - they''re all friends from HS. Another one of my bridesmaids shared a room with a groomsman (not THAT way, but we were friends from college, and the other groomsmen had been DH''s college roomies, so they roomed together).

Maybe ask how they''d prefer room assignments.
 

Elmorton

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jul 5, 2007
Messages
3,998
Date: 2/6/2009 10:51:08 PM
Author: wyndham
Date: 2/6/2009 9:49:28 PM

Author: emeraldlover1

Do you all think it''s fine to have the hotel ask them for a credit card at check in for incidentals (i.e. room service, pay per view movies, etc.)?
Yes, I think that''s perfectly acceptable.
 

emeraldlover1

Ideal_Rock
Joined
May 20, 2006
Messages
2,913
Date: 2/6/2009 10:51:08 PM
Author: wyndham

Date: 2/6/2009 9:49:28 PM
Author: emeraldlover1
If I was your bridesmaid and you very generously offered to pay for my room if my fiance and I bunked up with another couple, I would have to decline. Reason being, my fiance would not be comfortable with this. We are considering going to our friend''s wedding in Napa in June and two of our best friends have offered to share a room with us so that we can save some money and he won''t even go for that.

I think it is nice that you are willing to help with the cost of the room. Does this partly have to do with the fact that you are staying at an expensive place? If that is the case then I would suggest a variation to what the last poster suggested. How about splitting up the money per person and offering that amount towards their room?? If they want to share a room then you can tecnically pay for their whole room. Does that make sense?
Thanks Emeraldlover...I appreciate your suggestions! You nailed it--we really want everyone to stay at this particular hotel for the sake of convenience, but I don''t think it would be right to ask them to stay at this particular hotel ($$$$) without paying for all or most of their rooms. I think we''ll probably just get the married couples their own rooms, put 2 single BMs in one room, and then one BM can have her own room.

Do you all think it''s fine to have the hotel ask them for a credit card at check in for incidentals (i.e. room service, pay per view movies, etc.)?
Ok, I hear you but consider this. They agreed to be in the wedding, right? With that comes some expected expense. So, i doubt that they are expecting to get free rooms. While I think it makes sense what you are saying you wouldn''t want your single guys and gals to feel slighted because they are single. I mean, what if one person wants to go to bed earlier than the other? I could think of a million other reasons why they might think its unfair. Yes, its a great gesture on your part but what if one of the single people wants to pay for their own room? I''m thinking that a certian amount towards the rooms to offset the cost may be a great alternative. You should be able to tell the hotel I want to pay this ___ towards the following rooms....

I know this seems like a great thing to do but asking people to couple up may create some animosity. People are weird and even though you wouldn''t mind, they might. You know these people so I could be totally way off base.
 

wyndham

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jan 20, 2008
Messages
162
The only people that we would be asking to ''couple up'' with each other would be my 2 sisters and my brother and my cousin...I''ll ask them but I''m sure they''d all be fine with that. We aren''t asking any of the married people to share rooms...

I''m sure they had all planned to incur some expenses to come to the wedding, but since our wedding is in a big city I think many of our bridesmaids/groomsmen might have been planning to just crash with friends. That''s why I feel weird only paying for part of their hotel rooms...they could be staying with local friends for free, so most of them might see having to pay for a hotel room at all as an unplanned inconvenience. I know I could just let them stay where they wanted, but I''d rather have everyone in one place so there are no "oops I forgot my dress/shoes/jewelry" mishaps! Does that make sense?

Thanks!
 

emeraldlover1

Ideal_Rock
Joined
May 20, 2006
Messages
2,913
Totally makes sense. Now that I know who you are asking to room together that makes sense too. Good luck and again, that is VERY generous of you.
 

lala2332

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jul 15, 2008
Messages
535
I was recently in a wedding and the bride upgraded my room to a suite at her expense. So I still had to pay for the room, but we got a much nicer room than I had originally booked. Three of her bridesmaids all shared a room b/c none of them briught their SOs. BUt she left it up to them. I think she upgraded them as well, instead of actually paying for the room. That way everyone kind of decided their own arrangements, but then she ended up helping us out by getting us amazing rooms.
 

AmberGretchen

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 6, 2005
Messages
7,770
I like the idea of just splitting up the money you were going to spend and distributing it - I wouldn''t expect people to share rooms without knowing for sure they''d be OK with it, but this way you are still helping out.
 

Gwyn

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jan 5, 2007
Messages
745
On one hand I feel that a gift is a gift and the receiver doesnt have much say. In a case however where you are giving a group of people (assuming equal importance) the same gift, I think it is kind of...unfair...to not "give" equally. Even more so, and i do not believe you have mentioned if this is the case, if this is a part of your bridal gift to them.

If you are getting a room for 1 bridesmaid (giving her the option of course to share with her husband or whomever) I personally feel it is only right to do the same for all of them.

When my sister was married (4 bridesmaids and 4 groomsmen) she got 4 rooms total (2 for girls and 2 for boys). The women were invited to use or not use the room she provided, as were the men. I flew into the wedding with my fiancee and because there were two of us we decided to get our own hotel room. I did not expect my sister to get us our own room just because we are a couple. As a bridesmaid, my rooming was paid for, I was the one who chose not to use it.

If I were you, I would use the option to just put money towards the rooms OR just pay for one night. Your hotel might be pricier then others in the area they could stay at, but it is probably fairly unlikely that it is twice as expensive, therefore paying for one night essentially cuts their expenses for rooms in half.

Things always get touchy around wedding time. And there have been countless threads of brides feeling jilted by thier maidens and vice versa. It just seems that, by giving un equally, you are opening yourself up to a potential battle.

If you do decide to ask people to share, just make sure there is enough REAL beds for each person or couple. I think even I would feel pretty slighted if I was single and was asked to 1. share a bed with someone who I was not intimate with or 2. Asked to sleep on a pull out cot/ couch for two nights (before and after a major event where sleep is usually important while another bridesmaide who was married was given a room to herself and her husband (who isnt even part of the wedding).

Anyway, that is just my own 2 cents. Good Luck.
 
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