Hot For Teacher or Just Creepy?

[Amber St. Clare]

People tend to gravitate toward those of similar mental level, and even if she's a genius, her mental level can't be more than 25. If he has some kind of mental issue, intellectually, he might be around that age.

Not abusers, though, right? They intentionally seek out people far below their intelligence w/the full intent of exploiting them & manipulating them .... because they are easier targets than sophisticated adult peers.

I think this guy is even creepier because he's all "my heart led me". Trying to make the whole thing ROMANTICAL. When it's a pure, sexual power play & mid-life-crisis. He should be HUMILIATED and SHAMED and lose any hope of continuing a teaching career. Blech.



ETA: If I were his WIFE ... I'd be having some serious sit-downs w/the similarly aged DAUGHTER to find out if anything inappropriate has been happening THERE.

He's using the Woody Allen "the {heart} wants what the {heart} wants. Pig. Woody is a creep and so is this guy. I hope the wife cleans him out.

 

[AprilBaby]

It will never last. When she grows up she will dump his cheating a**. I give it two years.

 

[decodelighted]

It will never last. When she grows up she will dump his cheating a**. I give it two years.

As IF! He'll leave *her* for someone YOUNGER. **vomit emoticon**

 

[VapidLapid]

Wow, and disgusting.
in that picture of them she is looking up at him with such doe eyes she is clearly caught up in the middle of some romantic tragedy. SHe adores him, but that is not love, not a mature respectful and mutually supportive relationship. He will be struggling with cholesterol and E. D. before she is twenty eight, and his carotid artery will burst from the club drugs he'll have to do to keep up, but he wont know her by then. The only question, since we can all pretty much guess how this will end, is will he take her to the Prom?

 

[Meezermom]

He left his wife and children to pursue a child that he was suppose to be teaching, not lusting after. He has probably been involved with her since she was what - 15? And that business that the relationship only became physical when she turned 18? Riiiiiight. He's sick and creepy and maybe there will come a day when she will finally wake up and see him for what he really is: A creepy, dirty old man. She will start to notice that the guys around her age are much more appealing, fun to be around, energetic, and they don't snore.

What a sickening story.

 

[Porridge]

Sick. His comments and actions are bordering on sociopathic.

 

[perry]

Not a good situation - and it will not last.

However, it raises a lot of questions; and not just on the "guy." It does take two to tango - and the second party is not always so innocent.

Did he specifically target younger women: Perhaps (and there are clearly men who do this - and some women who target younger men).

Is he having some kind of significant family situation that opened him up to the student at the wrong time.

Is he actually haveing a medical condition where his brain chemicals are out of ballance and he is not acting normaly.

Why is she looking (or even interested in) a much older man (and in the last 5 years I have had several younger woman in her age range who expressed interest in me - which led me to wonder about this very question). Keep in mind that in this case she may have actually made the first serious move.

While it is easy for a younger woman (or man) to fall into lust and have a romantic relationship; what about their family situation or background such that they are looking - or open - to a relatiohship with a much older partner. Yes an older partner often can provide stability and finances that someone their age cannot (more mature - to a point); but, it is the very rare case where it works long term beyond a certain age range.

I hope both of them can get out of this without any major damage.

Perry

 

[Haven]

Not a good situation - and it will not last.

However, it raises a lot of questions; and not just on the "guy." It does take two to tango - and the second party is not always so innocent.

Did he specifically target younger women: Perhaps (and there are clearly men who do this - and some women who target younger men).

Is he having some kind of significant family situation that opened him up to the student at the wrong time.

Is he actually haveing a medical condition where his brain chemicals are out of ballance and he is not acting normaly.

Why is she looking (or even interested in) a much older man (and in the last 5 years I have had several younger woman in her age range who expressed interest in me - which led me to wonder about this very question). Keep in mind that in this case she may have actually made the first serious move.

While it is easy for a younger woman (or man) to fall into lust and have a romantic relationship; what about their family situation or background such that they are looking - or open - to a relatiohship with a much older partner. Yes an older partner often can provide stability and finances that someone their age cannot (more mature - to a point); but, it is the very rare case where it works long term beyond a certain age range.

I hope both of them can get out of this without any major damage.

Perry

Perry--I cannot disagree with you more when you say it takes two to tango.
That absolutely does not apply to a situation with a minor involved. Especially a situation where the adult holds a position of power over the minor.
I would call your questions the beginning of a line of thought that ultimately leads to blaming the victim. The minor is the victim here, and always is, when it comes to romantic relationships between children and adults. Period.

I don't care if she made the first move. I don't care if at age 17 she walked into his classroom, locked the door behind her, and stripped naked. In that case, the only acceptable response would be to put an end to the behavior immediately, and to get the school social worker involved.

We, as adults, have an obligation to protect individuals who cannot protect themselves. This man's state believes that age 18 is the age at which people become adults, and can begin making informed decisions about their sexual choices. Prior to that, she is a minor, and adults must protect her, not victimize her.

This issue become even more grotesque when the adult holds a position of power over the minor, as this man did.

ETA: Perry--I understand that there might be extenuating circumstances that made this man more likely to do this. In fact, my teacher colleagues always ask, upon hearing of a new crime like this, "Is he a white man with small children in the midst of divorce?" That seems to be the most common profile we see around here of this sort of criminal. However, my point is that I just plain don't care what is going on in this man's life to make him do this. He is not my concern. The child is my concern. Always.

 

[HollyS]

I can't understand how he ever had a wife, let alone an infatuated student. He's repulsive in the extreme. Pasty, flabby, with an affected way of speaking (as if he's trying too hard to sound sweet and shy; yeah, right).

These two have issues that won't pass a "peer close and sniff deep" test. He's a big fat YECCH. And she's an idiot.

 

[Imdanny]

It will never last. When she grows up she will dump his cheating a**. I give it two years.

As IF! He'll leave *her* for someone YOUNGER. **vomit emoticon**

I was just thinking- aside from the fact he's a lecherous cretin and she apparently needs the kind of deprogramming they give people who are involved in cults- WHAT KIND OF A FUTURE IS IN STORE FOR HER WITH A RELATIONSHIP LIKE THIS???

Sorry to shout but I had to let it out.

This whole thing is just sick.

I take education VERY SERIOUSLY. The thought a high school teacher would ever do what this man has done BURNS ME UP.

 

[Lottie]

It will never last. When she grows up she will dump his cheating a**. I give it two years.

As IF! He'll leave *her* for someone YOUNGER. **vomit emoticon**

I was just thinking- aside from the fact he's a lecherous cretin and she apparently needs the kind of deprogramming they give people who are involved in cults- WHAT KIND OF A FUTURE IS IN STORE FOR HER WITH A RELATIONSHIP LIKE THIS???
Sorry to shout but I had to let it out.

This whole thing is just sick.

I take education VERY SERIOUSLY. The thought a high school teacher would ever do what this man has done BURNS ME UP.

When I read about similar situations to this in the media, inevitably the victim (in my opinion she is most definately a victim) always seems to try and skip a huge chunk of life in a bid to catch up with the lover. Whats terrifying is that one day she will realise that giving up her life learning years, which should have been full of amazing new experiences with her peers was the worst thing she could have done and it will make her very bitter.

Ironic isn't it, that Captain Creepy who is chasing her youth like some kind of parasite will now no doubt expect her to behave like someone his own age.

 

[Lottie]

Not a good situation - and it will not last.

However, it raises a lot of questions; and not just on the "guy." It does take two to tango - and the second party is not always so innocent.

Did he specifically target younger women: Perhaps (and there are clearly men who do this - and some women who target younger men).

Is he having some kind of significant family situation that opened him up to the student at the wrong time.

Is he actually haveing a medical condition where his brain chemicals are out of ballance and he is not acting normaly.

Why is she looking (or even interested in) a much older man (and in the last 5 years I have had several younger woman in her age range who expressed interest in me - which led me to wonder about this very question). Keep in mind that in this case she may have actually made the first serious move.

While it is easy for a younger woman (or man) to fall into lust and have a romantic relationship; what about their family situation or background such that they are looking - or open - to a relatiohship with a much older partner. Yes an older partner often can provide stability and finances that someone their age cannot (more mature - to a point); but, it is the very rare case where it works long term beyond a certain age range.

I hope both of them can get out of this without any major damage.

Perry

Perry--I cannot disagree with you more when you say it takes two to tango.
That absolutely does not apply to a situation with a minor involved. Especially a situation where the adult holds a position of power over the minor.
I would call your questions the beginning of a line of thought that ultimately leads to blaming the victim. The minor is the victim here, and always is, when it comes to romantic relationships between children and adults. Period.

I don't care if she made the first move. I don't care if at age 17 she walked into his classroom, locked the door behind her, and stripped naked. In that case, the only acceptable response would be to put an end to the behavior immediately, and to get the school social worker involved.

We, as adults, have an obligation to protect individuals who cannot protect themselves. This man's state believes that age 18 is the age at which people become adults, and can begin making informed decisions about their sexual choices. Prior to that, she is a minor, and adults must protect her, not victimize her.

This issue become even more grotesque when the adult holds a position of power over the minor, as this man did.

ETA: Perry--I understand that there might be extenuating circumstances that made this man more likely to do this. In fact, my teacher colleagues always ask, upon hearing of a new crime like this, "Is he a white man with small children in the midst of divorce?" That seems to be the most common profile we see around here of this sort of criminal. However, my point is that I just plain don't care what is going on in this man's life to make him do this. He is not my concern. The child is my concern. Always.

I agree with this, she is not the problem here. He is.

 

[Maria D]

*snip*

I hope both of them can get out of this without any major damage.

Perry

This guy walked out on his wife and children for a "woman" he supposedly started a relationship with only last December. He got on national television and said he "hopes to start a new family." He resigned from a job that paid him over $100K last year, and will likely never be employed as a teacher again. I'd say the damage is irrevocably done.

Yeah, there's something seriously wrong with this guy. In the interview he said that his "extended family" is probably disappointed in him, but he has to follow his heart. Um, wife & kids are *immediate* family, buddy! And, *probably disappointed*? Is he for real?

As for the girl -- I agree that it was his responsibility to make sure that this never happened, BUT, now that she is a legal adult she bears blame as well. She is a young woman going on national TV proclaiming that the father of one of her classmates is "more than just a lover." ick ick ick

 

[perry]

Not a good situation - and it will not last.

However, it raises a lot of questions; and not just on the "guy." It does take two to tango - and the second party is not always so innocent.

Did he specifically target younger women: Perhaps (and there are clearly men who do this - and some women who target younger men).

Is he having some kind of significant family situation that opened him up to the student at the wrong time.

Is he actually haveing a medical condition where his brain chemicals are out of ballance and he is not acting normaly.

Why is she looking (or even interested in) a much older man (and in the last 5 years I have had several younger woman in her age range who expressed interest in me - which led me to wonder about this very question). Keep in mind that in this case she may have actually made the first serious move.

While it is easy for a younger woman (or man) to fall into lust and have a romantic relationship; what about their family situation or background such that they are looking - or open - to a relatiohship with a much older partner. Yes an older partner often can provide stability and finances that someone their age cannot (more mature - to a point); but, it is the very rare case where it works long term beyond a certain age range.

I hope both of them can get out of this without any major damage.

Perry

Perry--I cannot disagree with you more when you say it takes two to tango.
That absolutely does not apply to a situation with a minor involved. Especially a situation where the adult holds a position of power over the minor.
I would call your questions the beginning of a line of thought that ultimately leads to blaming the victim. The minor is the victim here, and always is, when it comes to romantic relationships between children and adults. Period.

I don't care if she made the first move. I don't care if at age 17 she walked into his classroom, locked the door behind her, and stripped naked. In that case, the only acceptable response would be to put an end to the behavior immediately, and to get the school social worker involved.

We, as adults, have an obligation to protect individuals who cannot protect themselves. This man's state believes that age 18 is the age at which people become adults, and can begin making informed decisions about their sexual choices. Prior to that, she is a minor, and adults must protect her, not victimize her.

This issue become even more grotesque when the adult holds a position of power over the minor, as this man did.

ETA: Perry--I understand that there might be extenuating circumstances that made this man more likely to do this. In fact, my teacher colleagues always ask, upon hearing of a new crime like this, "Is he a white man with small children in the midst of divorce?" That seems to be the most common profile we see around here of this sort of criminal. However, my point is that I just plain don't care what is going on in this man's life to make him do this. He is not my concern. The child is my concern. Always.

Hmmm... While I agree that the most probable explaination (> 90%) is that he is mentally compentent and responsible for the whole thing; I also know that what the press reports (and even the nature of press interviews) is not always the whole truth, and often far from the whole truth. I am also aware that there are in fact situations where people are in fact no longer mentally competent for their actions, that some youner people can be very manipulative and in some cases do in fact control the relationship with older adults, etc. Thus, while I agree this is not a good situation... I will refrain from passing definitive judgement based on what I know - and allow for the possibility that things may not be so totally black and white.

I tend to find that things go much better when dealing with people if you can allow that window of uncertainty until you find out what the real situaiton is (and no - I do not trust the press to tell me what the real situation is).

Have a great day,

 

[KimberlyH]

I TAed for a football coach in high school who married a student the year after she graduated. He didn't leave a family for her. I had no clue how old he was, I was 17 and any teacher was old in my mind. It creeped me out then, it upsets me now. I wonnder what ever happened to them.

 

[KaeKae]

Creepy.
One of my teachers married one of my classmates. They supposedly became involved spring of our senior year, but hid it until after graduation. I did know her, but we were in different crowds, so I wasn't aware of it at the time. He left his wife, and married my classmate a year or two later. He had a young child with the first wife.
He also lost his job. I don't know the details, but the girl's family was very upset over it all and made sure the school knew about it. She was still 17 at the time of graduation. Due to Facebook, I believe they had a child together, the timing is right, and I know that they eventually divorced. I wonder if either of them still think it was okay to get involved when they did.

 

[zoebartlett]

I can't believe the teacher left his family for this girl. The teacher said that in 5 years, he'd like to start a new family. Imagine how that must make his current family feel.

Perry, this teacher took advantage of the girl, period.

Haven, I agree with everything you said. No matter what reasons are given, it's just wrong.

 

[smitcompton]

Hi,

ILander, I think you might mean emotional level, not intelligence level. Studies, that i know of indicate the emotional level of the individuals is probably the same. Thus his emotional level is most probably that of a 16 yr old. That makes sense to me. It also accounts for the self centeredness of this guy. Sorry for his family.

Annette

 

[iLander]

Hi,

ILander, I think you might mean emotional level, not intelligence level. Studies, that i know of indicate the emotional level of the individuals is probably the same. Thus his emotional level is most probably that of a 16 yr old. That makes sense to me. It also accounts for the self centeredness of this guy. Sorry for his family.

Annette

I also think that's what I mean, thank you. Do you have any idea what causes this?

 

[KaeKae]

Hi,

ILander, I think you might mean emotional level, not intelligence level. Studies, that i know of indicate the emotional level of the individuals is probably the same. Thus his emotional level is most probably that of a 16 yr old. That makes sense to me. It also accounts for the self centeredness of this guy. Sorry for his family.

Annette

I think you are exactly right about this. I have an uncle who has been married three times:
#1, about his age
#2, 10 years younger
#3, 25 years younger
He is still with the third wife, she's great, but if you ask me, she's the mature one in this marraige, he's lucky to have her. (For the record, they all were over 21 when they got involved. He's immature, but not a criminal, thank goodness.)

 

[Autumnovember]

Before I read any replies, I opened the link to the story and the second I saw his face I thought, "something is off with him."


Wrong on many levels. I feel most awful for his daughter who has to face her classmates everyday knowing that they know what a scum bag her dad is. Sigh.

 

[Clairitek]

Just watched the video and read all of these replies. I agree that he is a sicko. I feel terrible for his wife and kids.

 

[Amys Bling]

Jeez- I feel bad for his famuly

 

[iLander]

What bothers me most about this thread is the number of PSer's that know someone that went through this same thing!

Apparently, this high school girl and teacher thing is more common than we think!

The worst story was from Chemgirl, about her friend and the math teacher . . .