Hors d''oeuvres reception invitation wording

[bfready]

For a number of reasons we''re having a Friday evening ceremony and the reception won''t begin until around 8PM. We don''t want to spend all the time and money on a full dinner, so we''re having a selection of hors d''oeuvres, cocktails, and cake. We''ll have toasts, a dj, the works - just no sit-down meal. The dilemma comes in the wording of the invites. She wants to just say "Reception to follow" while I prefer "hors d''oeuvre reception to follow". She thinks my way will make people think it''s not a "real" reception. I think people should be aware that they shouldn''t expect a full meal. Any suggestions?

 

[Independent Gal]

OK, first of all, if you are holding a party at that hour, just after a ceremony in the evening, you do HAVE to let people know that you are not feeding them a meal. As a guest, I'd expect that dinner would be served at that hour, and I'd be kind of cranky if I ended up there on an empty stomach with nothing substantial to put in it. Which is not to say that you OUGHT to serve dinner, just that I'd want to know in advance that you wouldn't be.

Are you serving cake and stuff? If so, why not say "cake reception" or "desert reception" and have the hors d's be a nice extra. It sounds better than 'hors d'oeuvre' reception' too. That literally means "before the work (or main course)". So, making that the focus when you're serving those, but no dinner, makes it sound kind of, well, cheap.

Whereas, a desert reception sounds yummy and would make me think "Heads up! Better eat something healthy before I get there!"

Make sure you leave people lots of time to eat either before the ceremony (but at a reasonable dinner time) or betwen the reception and the party, by the way.

 

[Haven]

I think you are correct that you should set up the expectation that there will only be hors d'oeuvres at the reception. I also must say that you are not having a traditional reception in terms of hosting your guests for a meal, and people should be aware of that.

I'm not sure how to word the invite, but I'm interested in seeing what people have to say. I think the biggest reason to have some indication that you're not hosting a traditional reception is that you're having an evening wedding, and most guests will expect that you're hosting a meal at that time. If your wedding began at 2 or 2:30 with a reception immediately following then people would likely expect a lighter meal, but an evening wedding traditionally means a meal will follow.

This is a very sticky situation, and you certainly don't want all of your loved ones to be cranky and hungry at your reception because they were ill-informed.

ETA: Indy and I must have posted at the same time, she said everything much better. I love her advice about saying cake or dessert reception, that sounds delicious!

 

[Independent Gal]

Another idea... less formal though, would be to say "Cake and cocktails to follow" instead of "reception to follow".

 

[cara]

Just echoing - you must put some indication somewhere that you will not serve full dinner. Otherwise your hungry cranky guests will leave early and think bad thoughts. But if you warn them they will eat early or have themselves to blame, and generally be much more amenable to living it up at the party.

I like "dessert reception" or "cake reception" or "cake and cocktails to follow" ... whatever works for your style.

 

[Livinthedream]

What about using ''light fare'' somewhere in there? That way they know there will be items to snack on, but not to expect a full meal. Good Luck!

 

[zoebartlett]

I agree with the others. I like "dessert to follow" or something along those lines. Whatever the wording, make sure you make it very clear that there won''t be a full meal served.

 

[Future Mrs Polka Dot]

I definitely like Independent''s suggestions - "Dessert Reception"

Since you guys gave such great advice, I have a similar question, and I apologize if I am hijacking this thread!

So on the evening before our wedding, we''re having a "welcome reception" for all guests instead of a traditional rehearsal dinner for OOT guests and bridal party. We''re having it from 8-10pm at an art museum, and we''re having hor d''s only as well - no sit down meal. Ours is a "themed" party which will feature South African wine (all varieties...South Africa is a special place to FI and I, so it make sense.) As of right now, the plan was to have South African inspired hor d''s - I think it would work out to be about 8 pieces per person, but they are small bites - examples: peri peri chicken wings, potato samosa, butternut soup shooters, lobster rolls, a few more and a dessert (a traditional SA pudding). So 8 hor d''s plus a dessert.

Here are my questions:

1) Does it seem cheap to you to have this instead of a sit down meal or a full on buffet? What is your impression as a guest?

2) Would it be better to instead have South African wine, cheese, and dessert instead of a selection of dinner-ish foods?

3) How would you word the invites? I was thinking of saying something like
"Please join us on the evening before our wedding"
8-10pm
South African wine and hor d''s will be served

Thoughts? Thanks guys