Holy proposes! (and she says

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Nov 6, 2006
OK, here is the "official" Holy proposal story. It will be a little disjointed and abbreviated. Search for my posts and you'll see some of my thought process regarding the purchase and a small amount regarding the proposal.

I guess I'll cut out the relationship background and skip ahead to the proposal.

She was involved in most of the diamond and setting search process, and was a little frustrated at how long it took, but was reassured when she saw how extremely fast I was proceeding and how thoroughly I was researching. I couldn't resist showing her everything about the Good Old Gold diamond I had bought. The exact specs were a little bit of a surprise so that was fun for both of us, even though the general guidelines were no surprise. I showed her all the geeky technical stuff and the detailed reports and 3-D representations! We're both brainy types.

She knew exactly when it was supposed to be here and knew I was eager to propose, and she herself was also eager. I was tempted to propose without the stone but realized there was no need and I couldn't figure out a good way to do it anyway, as you can see from another thread. The ring was supposed to arrive on Wed. the 29th of November. There was a slight mix-up and it arrived on Thursday the 30th instead. She didn't know that, and it gave me the chance for a little bit of surprise and sneakiness!

I had no intention of torturing her for even one day with waiting, knowing that the ring was here. During the week, I asked her a few times about going out to lunch or dinner on Wed. or Thurs. Part of this was simply wanting to go out with her; part was a little deception / creation of a moving target / building of anticipation; part was simply my not having a clear plan yet!

She was busy on Wed. so we couldn't go out until Thurs. anyway. I was desperate for "neat" ideas but also knew she didn't need a big show. I made reservations to a nice, fairly low-key place on the water (San Diego area) for Thursday night. I didn't want to do a "speech" because she would know what the speech was for, and it would ruin any remaining surprise. But still I wanted to express certain things about the meaning of marriage to me and us (which she already generally knew).

I texted her cell phone during the day with "Hey, here are some scriptures I've been thinking about: Jeremiah 31:3 and Hosea 2:19." Later, I e-mailed her to explain the significance of those scriptures and 2 other passages:

1. The point of Jeremiah 31:3 was that God chose to make a covenant with His people, and it is based on love (in general) and His lovingkindness (Hebrew hesed, loving mercy) specifically. He makes the choice and He binds Himself to follow through on it.

2. Hosea 2:19 also uses the Hebrew word hesed (lovingkindness). Hosea chose his wife and it was forever, it was based on righteousness, justice, lovingkindness, and compassion. He provided a covering for his wife in various ways, as God does for His people.

3. Eph 5:21-33 also describes the analogy between human marriage and Christ's relationship to the church which He redeemed. Husbands are to lead and love their wives as Christ loves His church. Husbands' "objective" with their wives is that the wives be sanctified. Wives subject themselves to the headship of their husbands; husbands are willing to give themselves up for their wives, and so in that sense they subject themselves to their wives--as in 5:21 in which Christians generally are commanded to submit to one another, as they corporately submit to Christ.

4. Prov 31:10 says that an excellent wife's worth is far above jewels--such as the jewels that husbands and wives give to one another. The wife is not a mere object or pretty thing. I explained that she (my fiancée) is charming and beautiful, yet her character is evident in that she is a woman who fears the Lord (31:30). Furthermore, the excellent wife has many skills (31:11-29), as she does. She is a "helper" but that is not a word used to describe a mere adjunct, an afterthought, someone who just sits on the sideline. She produces things, she buys real estate and makes business decisions, she is skilled with money, she has strength and dignity, her (future) children bless her and her husband praises her.

We had reservations for 7 pm, but I still didn't have the ring! I was late getting home, and I had to stop by my parents' house (nearby) for the ring. She came over to my house and was excited to go out. She knew why we were going out. She hadn't read the e-mail yet, so I asked her to read it on my computer. We were about ready to leave, and I said, "I have a surprise for you" (more deception!). I got out a cake pan (covered with foil) from the fridge. She excitedly said, "Is it brownies?" I said, "It's like brownies." She asked, "Is it chocolate cake?" Yes, I had baked a chocolate cake, which she loves, the night before and frosted it that morning. I took the foil cover off the cake. The writing was upside down. I turned the pan around on the counter so she could read it. It said, "Will you marry me, {name}?" As she was distracted, I took the ring out of my pocket and knelt down. She turned around and I think I said, "I love you, {name}. Will you marry me?" And she said "Yes"!

She had been expecting that I'd propose at dinner or possibly after dinner during a walk on the beach. I thought it would be sort of awkward and fake to go out to dinner knowing that I'd propose then. I thought it would be better for us to go out to dinner already engaged, to celebrate the engagement. And she'd have more opportunity to show off the ring and her new fiancé! She agreed and was delighted by the surprise--and by the effort to decorate the cake (long story, but it wasn't easy--took some creative engineering because I didn't have the right tools!). I also considered it to be unnecessary torture for her to have to wait even another hour. We have been ready to go forward and wanted to get to the next step so we could "officially" do premarital counseling and wedding planning. I didn't want her to wait for no reason other than to fulfill some silly perceived societal / TV expectations about the proposal, but we got to make it a fun surprise nonetheless.

(Then we took pics of the ring and the cake--not digital, though, so you'll have to wait a while!)


Oct 19, 2006
Congrats, Holy! I love the element of surprise, even though she was well aware a proposal was imminent!

I''m in the same boat! The ring in here and now he is left to figure out exactly how and whne he wents to propose. I don''t need anything extravagant or expensive, just want him to speak to me from the heart and ask me to be his wife
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