Holidays + Family = Frustration!

[rockzilla]

So, we''ve lived in California the past 8 years, and my family is in MA. Every year we have flown back for christmas (my husband as well the past 4-5 years) to spend time with them. The extended family always gets together at my aunt''s house on Christmas eve, and individual families do "their own thing" on Christmas day.

This worked out well while we were kids, and when my parents were more "together" but the past few years it has just gone downhill. We''ll ask my mom what she''s planning to do...she''ll be like, "Oh, I don''t know...what do you want to do?" But since we didn''t live there (and many times were staying in a hotel) we couldn''t exactly plan anything. I had always thought it would be nice to have a dinner at home, but her apt is really not a pleasant place to be (I''m OK with it, but its kind of embarassing to bring my DH) and she doesn''t cook anyways so, we''d always end up last minute having dinner somewhere really non-Christmas-y (think Indian food, which I like but not on Christmas) and for the past few years its been really disappointing and downright depressing. To add, my Dad has refused to come each year.

So, fast forward to this year. We are now living in the same state, in Boston (they are about an hour out into the suburbs) and we volunteered to host Christmas at our place. I suggested that we have a meal at one of the many really nice restaurants that are hosting Christmas brunch/dinner and then come to our place to open presents by the tree. Both my Dad AND Mom agreed to come, but insisted that we make dinner at our place (which we''d rather not do but agreed to because its what they wanted).

Then, weeks later, TODAY I get an email: "Oh if its easier for you, we can just have dinner at a restaurant in Boston" COMPLETELY not getting that you can''t just get a reservation 2 days before Christmas. So now, we are still stuck preparing a meal, its going to be incredibly awkward with my pseudo-separated parents (my brother has also decided not to show up...he''s going to his girlfriend''s instead) when we could have just gone to an amazing restaurant and been done with it.

I don''t know that I''m asking for advice here...there''s not really much advice to be given....just really depressed over the whole thing.

 

[tlh]

Well, I don''t have advice, and I know you aren''t seeking it... but man, My heart is with you. I hope that Christmas turns into a nice day of love and joy - and I''m sure your meal - though laborious, will be WONDERFUL!

HUGS!!

 

[janinegirly]

Congrats NEL, what a roller coaster! I''m surprised they let you know so much about the other offers--but really interesting to hear how things play out! Good luck with the rest! Do you qualify for the tax credit too? Great news!

 

[AmberGretchen]

Awww...I'm so sorry sweetie - that is so frustrating! I really hope Christmas is still fun. Can you and B get some pre-prepared stuff to make cooking easier and so you don't have to stress so much about meal prep?

I'll keep my fingers crossed it works out OK and you guys end up with a happy and peaceful (and free from further drama) Christmas

 

[D&T]

awww I'm so sorry. Its a pain, we don't have family where we are, so we drive up every year, and every year its a run around, with us having to drive to my FIL's house, MIL's house (divorced) my parents, SIL, my sister and my Brother's (since I guess traditionally or culturally -I don't know, it could just be made up too- the younger siblings HAS to be the one to drive over to the older's siblings house

) so the whole week we're visiting, half of that is spent Driving around

then we have the grandparents too! all with two weee little ones

and we want to keep peace with the family, so we don't say "too bad soo sad, this is where we are, so you you'll have to visit us, since we drove for 12 hours!" though many times I want to say that

... I hope it works out well with you and your family.