Holidays--bad time for proposal???

[Waited2Long]

I did a quick search and didn''t get any confirmation of this. I went to a B&M store (just to see what these spendy rocks look like in person) and the saleperson told me that the holidays are a horrible time to propose, because there are too many other things going on, and too much stress, etc. I was planning on lighting the candle toward the end of December, while on vacation.

Anyone else hear this, or see much truth in it?

I figure we''ll be on vacation, we''ll both be off work and on a school break, soaking up beautiful scenery for a few days, so it should be a pretty darn good time.

 

[Daniel B]

What!? Thats ridiculous! Propose whever you want, dont let someone tell you otherwise, maybe he/she had a bad experience, but that doesn''t mean you will. Besides, I think most proposals are done around christmas and the holidays (valentines day) anyway-- and of course sentimental holidays like the first time you guys started dating etc.

 

[flutterby]

I personally would hate to be proposed to during the holidays. I want the proposal to have its own memory. However, christmas and valentines are probably the most common time. I think the stores are busier at these times as well, so they may appreciate your business before and after then. However, it is your proposal, do it when you want!

 

[cinnabar]

We were married on 29 December. Not only did we have the "stress" of Christmas, we had three sick parents, a house to sell and a 5000 mile emigration to arrange as well as the wedding.

Never gave it a moment''s thought, that the timing was less than perfect. I was getting married, that was all that mattered. I don''t see why a proposal would be any different. There''s a romance about Christmas lights. We had a Christmas tree in the room where we were married and I thought it added a wonderful touch to the occasion.

Don''t let a sales assistant put you off if you like the idea of a holiday proposal. That''s my two cents.

 

[Regular Guy]

Date: 10/11/2005 2:31:06 PM
Author: msflutter
I think the stores are busier at these times as well, so they may appreciate your business before and after then.

Based on what appears to be more than the appearance of impropriety (providing self serving advice), you might consider crossing that jewler off your list (which gave you that advice).

 

[pebbles]

So were you planning on proposing while you were on vacation? To me that is completely different than proposing during the holidays. I know some people would like their own special day for the proposal, but I think whenever you do it, it will be memorable. I was proposed to the day before my birthday and it has it''s own memory for me.

 

[WTNLVR]

That''s just silly. I told my now husband way before we got engaged that he better propose on x-mas eve. We always spent it together and it was to me the most romantic night of the year. He followed my wishes and proposed on x-mas eve. He told me the ring was burning a hole in his pocket for 4 months while he waited.

My aunt was married on x-mas day

I have friends who married on new years eve. It''s just up to the couple.

 

[Daniel B]

Hey waited2long-- to add to what I was saying before, im proposing on vacation so more power to us! + when your on vacation-- im assuming it''ll be somewhere warm-- it wont even feel like Christmas!

Unless of course you already live in the sunbelt!

 

[Waited2Long]

I think I'll stick with the plan. We already have the vacation booked. It'll be a great time, but it will be between X-mas and new years. Neither of us have any family within driving distance, so the holidays are pretty tame.

As far as the suggestion, it was made by 2 different people at the store. I knew they were disappointed that I wasn't planning on buying anyting really soon. I have to wonder if it was a scripted response? This was a large store, part of a chain. The entire sales-side of the process made me feel like I was shopping for a car. "When were you planning to buy?" "Follow me..." "How much are you planning to spend?" "Follow me..." "Which stone do you prefer?" "Follow me..." "Which setting do you prefer?" Next thing you know, I'm sitting down at a table looking at a sales contract for the ring I just picked out. WHOA! I just wanted to look! I understand it is their job to feel out customers so they can best fulfill needs, but I don't appreciate the pressure.

Thanks for all the responses. They're much better than the horrified, cabbages-growing-out-of-my-head reactions I got from the B&M. Oh, and yes, it will be warm.

 

[Daniel B]

Date: 10/11/2005 9:43:17 PM
Author: Waited2Long
The entire sales-side of the process made me feel like I was shopping for a car. ''When were you planning to buy?'' ''Follow me...'' ''How much are you planning to spend?'' ''Follow me...'' ''Which stone do you prefer?'' ''Follow me...'' ''Which setting do you prefer?'' Next thing you know, I''m sitting down at a table looking at a sales contract for the ring I just picked out. WHOA! I just wanted to look!

Yep, thats why i walk in and lay down the law-- Im here to look im not buying anything today i just wanted to ask a few questions can you help me. All in one sentance like that, too

 

[ellewoods]

I definitely think that a proposal on vacation would be perfect. That''s probably exactly what I would want, someplace warm and beachy and relaxing.

I definitely would NOT want a proposal around the holidays, including Thanksgiving and Christmas. There''s too much stress during the holidays, I feel like everyone is wrapped up in rampant commercialism and almost fake or forced emotions. I just have a couple family members, and they don''t live near me, so holidays are of such giant importance to me as they are other people. I would rather just deal with the holiday stuff, and get to the New Year, and then be proposed to somehow on a long weekend or special night that you had prepared for so that both of you could focus on each other and not be dealing with all the holiday hecticness.

That being said, I do know people who are extremely connected to their families and would even want their family around for a proposal. A couple of my girlfriends were proposed to during Thanksgiving and Christmas, with their families nearby, and they loved it. So it depends on your girlfriend and how important the holidays are to her, and whether she''d want it to be a private proposal or one with family/friends nearby.

I think your plan sounds perfect, a romantic vacation during the holidays someplace tropical and warm. That would be perfect. I think New Year''s might be a good time for a proposal, because its a less stressful holiday where the focus is on couples and friends, rather than family obligations, buying stuff, and Santa Claus.

The only drawback I can see of a proposal on vacation is that she probably has some idea that a proposal is coming. So she probably will be thinking "I wonder when he''s going to propose on vacation?" Or she could just be thinking "Is he going to propose while we''re on vacation?" so it might not be a complete surprise. But as long as you put thought and effort into the proposal, and be sincere, and try to incorporate little things you know she likes and mean a lot to her, then that''s all you need for it to be perfect.

Good luck!

 

[Waited2Long]

Thanks ellewoods! What makes it great is that this trip was entirely her idea, and she planned it and booked it for both of us. As far as she knows, I''m just along for the ride. It should be a nice surprise. I need to get on the ball and start my own recon and logistics operations!

 

[ame]

I know a LOT of folks who got engaged over the holidays. Most of my older cousins in fact. Some of them live fairly far away and it was almost "easier" to do in front of the whole family because the parents were already there...

 

[ellewoods]

Hi again Waited2Long!

That''s awesome that she planned the trip and booked everything. Hopefully that means she won''t really have her antenae up trying to detect a proposal.

Are you planning on proposing on the first night? Or later than that? I think one way to throw her off the scent is to have a romantic dinner the first night (I''m sure you''re planning on that every night though!).....and tell her you have a gift to give her. Say some romantic things and then give her a gift in a small box. Maybe a bracelet or a necklace, etc. She might think it''s going to be a proposal, so when she sees its not, she won''t think that you''re going to propose at all during the trip. So the next day/night or whenever after that, you can propose and she''ll be completely surprised!

Or maybe just do it the first night so you guys can enjoy being engaged every single day of the vacation.

I''ve known a lot of people who get engaged around the holidays too, and for some people that''s the perfect time. Personally, however, I would prefer it to be a private, romantic event that happens on a special vacation with just me and my boyfriend. I don''t want it mixed in with Turkey and football games on Thanksgiving, or Santa Claus and red and green on Christmas.

But there definitely is something special in proposing around the holidays, because people are thinking about what''s really important in life, and spending time with family, and having all of those emotions. So I think your proposal timing is just perfect. It''s in the holiday timeframe, but you won''t be competing with the actual holidays. And you''re going on a great vacation someplace warm, a perfect break from the winter and holiday season.

I wish you the best of luck, I''m sure you''ll sweep her off her feet! Hopefully you''ll be back in January to share the story and pics of the ring.

 

[Daniel B]

Date: 10/13/2005 11:25:13 PM
Author: ellewoods
Hi again Waited2Long!


Are you planning on proposing on the first night? Or later than that? I think one way to throw her off the scent is to have a romantic dinner the first night (I''m sure you''re planning on that every night though!).....and tell her you have a gift to give her. Say some romantic things and then give her a gift in a small box. Maybe a bracelet or a necklace, etc. She might think it''s going to be a proposal, so when she sees its not, she won''t think that you''re going to propose at all during the trip. So the next day/night or whenever after that, you can propose and she''ll be completely surprised!

AWESOME IDEA!!

 

[appletini]

I think a holiday proposal would be great, especially since that is such a time for family. Its a great time to show off your fiancee and your e-ring to everyone. After all you will be merging families anyway. Plus this way you can see everyone at the same time and not spend hours on the phone repeating the story over and over again.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Stick with your plan. Just make sure you buy the ring soon enough b/c there might be holiday delays. Good luck!

 

[Angel7]

Date: 10/11/2005 2:48:06 PM
Author: cinnabar
We were married on 29 December. Not only did we have the ''stress'' of Christmas, we had three sick parents, a house to sell and a 5000 mile emigration to arrange as well as the wedding.

Never gave it a moment''s thought, that the timing was less than perfect. I was getting married, that was all that mattered. I don''t see why a proposal would be any different. There''s a romance about Christmas lights. We had a Christmas tree in the room where we were married and I thought it added a wonderful touch to the occasion.

Don''t let a sales assistant put you off if you like the idea of a holiday proposal. That''s my two cents.

I totally agree. There is something romantic about Chrismas lights and that time of year.
It''s your propsal. Do what you want and what feels right.

 

[larussel03]

The last thing I''d be picky about, as a girl who wants to get engaged soon, is timing. As long as it doesnt rain on anyone else''s parade (ie: someone else''s bday or something), propose whenever

I''m sure whenever you propose will be "perfect timing" to your girlfriend.