Hmmmmm

[FutureMrsMRS]

Last night, bf starts asking when I want to get married, what sort of wedding I want.

(ahem, I have to be engaged first!

He''s thinking *soon* after the engagement. I''m fine with that because I don''t want a big wedding (would be very happy with just my immediate family (parents & siblings) and whomever he wants there). So he''s thinking destination wedding but that''s not really my thing...unless we did "destination" here in the US, somewhere scenic like off the coast of SC or NC or something.

He asked if I wanted to look into some places in NC (parents & my brother''s family live there). I told him NO! Not until I''m ENGAGED!

While waiting is a pain...it''s also a little fun.

 

[Cinna]

I would go ahead and discuss! If you KNOW you''re getting engaged then why wait to plan if you have that extra time to get the stuff you want in advance? I know it helps keep my mind off the ring while i''m waiting for my ring to finally get here next month.

My boyfriend keeps thinking december of this year for our wedding and even though we both want it small... we have no choice but to have it big with about 400 guests. We''ve already discussed honeymoon options, wedding options (very specific like where to get dresses, food, venue, budget etc.)

I remind myself there is so much more to do once you get the ring. You magically gain a bazillion things on your to do list the next day after the proposal! Start on it early to minimize stress is my opinion.

 

[Anonymous]

My bf and I knew we wanted to get engaged as soon as we could afford to, so we''ve had a lot of talks about the topic of our wedding. I was in the same situation of not wanting to discuss the details of our wedding before we were engaged and I was actually anxious/nervous about it in the "if I talk about it too much and get too excited, it might not happen" sense, but there were big decisions that were weighing on both of our minds. So one night''s casual discussion about cruises turned towards honeymoons, which turned to me asking what season he''d want to get married, which turned to us talking about where to have it since all of his family is in NY and we have to live here in CA b/c of custody issues w/my ex husband, which turned into us talking until literally 3 am and deciding the where and when. So we already know it''s going to be in NY & in the summer of 2011 (probably June 30th, maybe July 2nd). The next few days were an absolute flurry of conversations with his mom and sister about the reception location (which we''ve picked and she reserved) menus, pictures of the location, flowers (which his aunt is going to do for us, yay!), etc. I adore his family, and since I need to have his mom''s help on a lot of things w/us getting married in his hometown, I am happy about those conversations, but it was pretty overwhelming! I''m really glad that we talked about it, because I think it eased a lot of my internal anxieties, but I''m also glad that we made the decision to take a break from it, at least until after we''re engaged.

So maybe your bf is just really excited about it, which is sweet and very encouraging! Here''s hoping that proposal is very soon!!

 

[babycush]

We also have a pretty solid idea of when and where we are going to get married even though we aren''t officially engaged yet either. I''m starting my third year of medical school this summer, so the next two years of my life are going to be very inflexible in terms of vacation time. I know that I have the last two weeks of June off in 2011, so we have decided that will be the best time for us to get married. Also, we decided that we will get married near where his family lives, since my family will have to travel wherever we do it (my immediate family lives in the Midwest, everyone else lives on the east coast, while his entire family lives in one state). We even have a site picked out because they provide pretty much everything except a photographer and music, and I want to do as little work as possible

If we didn''t have these constraints, I''m sure we wouldn''t be making these plans until we were engaged.

 

[FutureMrsMRS]

Wow, 400 people!??! That''s a LOT! I think my number for *too big* was around 125. I''m thinking we''ll be closer to around 30 or so. LOL!

Well, OF COURSE I''ve been looking! Just giving him a hard time that he needs to get ''er done already

Saw some really cool mansion/estate type places that host small weddings for very reasonable prices.

He was thinking like, this summer...but I''m in school (2nd career) and he didn''t want the wedding to interfere with school. I want a fall wedding, so I''d be willing to plan over the summer, and hold off on a honeymoon til later (maybe my winter break??).

I''m still in awe over a 400 person wedding!

 

[Cinna]

lol, it's more like a minimum of 400, I tell people about 400 though because I'm REALLY hoping that it is only around there instead of the 500 we're really thinking might happen.. and then there's a big tendency for people to show up uninvited at our venue so we're really praying that it's not too bad. It's just that we have no choice, knowing that a lot of people will get very insulted if so and so was invited and they were not. (It's happened to our friends who got married last year)

This is coming from a girl who wanted maybe 15 people at her wedding total.


But woww! Summer! That is very very fast. It's already Spring! Just be like "Honey, if you really want a Summer wedding to even be an option... I need something shiny on my left hand really soon!!! Or I can't help you with that. Don't you want me to help you?" *Cue Big sad yet innocent eyes here!*

 

[FutureMrsMRS]

OMG Cinna, you''re killing me! LOL!! I don''t even KNOW 500 people!

I''m sure it''ll be a blast though.

I''ve tried my big brown eyed technique! And last night, while we were talking, I kept saying "when I''m engaged"

"When I''m engaged, I can choose a date" (even though I already know what date I want!)

"When I''m engaged, I can decide what type of dress I want"

"When I''m engaged, I can make a guest list"

You get the picture...all with big brown, puppy dog eyes

 

[babycush]

My most recent "When we''re engaged..." that I threw at M was:

"When we''re engaged, we can sleep in the same room when we visit my parents."

 

[FutureMrsMRS]

Niiiice babycush! LOL!

 

[mickeyva]

Date: 3/25/2010 2:17:14 PM
Author: babycush
My most recent 'When we're engaged...' that I threw at M was:


'When we're engaged, we can sleep in the same room when we visit my parents.'

That's really funny! Sadly for me, that won't happen until we're married (even though we live together).

I keep suggesting to him that we should get engaged soon because we both like the idea of a fall wedding, and I won't do anything (like make any plans or even call) until we're engaged. and, I'm stressing out a little with the time frame being 6-7 months away. My mom basically tells me not to count chickens until they hatch. She doesn't want to hear anything about a wedding until we're officially engaged!

 

[babycush]

Date: 3/25/2010 4:13:16 PM
Author: mickeyva

Sadly for me, that won''t happen until we''re married (even though we live together).

Yeah, we live together too and it''s no secret in my family. It''s mostly because I have a 14 year old sister and we have to be good role models

Fortunately, his parents see things differently (also, he only has brothers).

 

[katomm]

I totally understand not putting the cart before the horse so to speak but.......................definitely talk about it now and have some sort of plan. It will depend on exactly how soon after the engagement you want to do it. Weeks? months? Do you want a traditional ceremony where you''d need to search for things or is this something you''re going to put together and have fun with what you have available?

Coming from someone that got married 8 weeks after we got engaged, let me tell you even the smallest of weddings take time. We only had our parents there and I still felt like I needed another month! LOL