Hindsight is 20/20...if you could change one thing from the past knowing what you know now...

[Missy]

what would you change?

You know that saying hindsight is 20/20...
if you could turn back the clock and redo one thing knowing what you know now what would it be?

Let's say for a moment we have the hindsight in foresight what one thing would you change if you could?

 

[Austina]

I would change the amount of time I spent on people who didn’t deserve it!

 

[whitewave]

I wouldn't change one thing because I love where I am now and every step and action and experiece I had along the way got me here, so that is good enough for me.

I'm good.

 

[marcy]

I would spend more time with my parents.

 

[valeria101]

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Here's a fresh one: www ...

 

[YadaYadaYada]

I would have gone to college, I reasoned there was no way to attend college and hold down a full time job.

That was just an excuse, I was just afraid to go.

 

[House Cat]

I would have listened to everyone and wouldn’t have dated that 23 year old man when I was 16 years old.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Go to school instead of going to pool halls and bowling alleys...

 

[stracci2000]

I would not have gotten married at the tender age of 21

 

[lyra]

I would hold my tongue A LOT more. If only I had ever learned how.

 

[GliderPoss]

I would have finished my degree and probably taken better control of our finances in our 20's.... It would have saved a lot of stress and heartache later on!

 

[MarionC]

Never too late to go to school!

If only I could go back and study the faces of the peple I loved, do more for them, love more, hug more, be less critical and more supportive.
Kind of makes me laugh to reread what I wrote. So noble ...
My sister voted for t and I can hardly stand to talk her. Whoops! Still can’t get it right, even when I know I’ll regret my intolérance later. LOL

 

[FinleysMom]

I would have gone to college, I reasoned there was no way to attend college and hold down a full time job.

That was just an excuse, I was just afraid to go.

I did just that. I was 36 in 1993 when I earned my Bachelors degree. I think it was Dear Abby who once addressed this in a reply...You can be ( name the age) with...or without a Degree..or whatever your goal is. Just do it! THAT reply moved me into action. When I mention that I have a degree...no one asks “ when” did I earn it. Hey...listed on my resume it magically portrays me as younger! Lol!

FM

 

[FinleysMom]

What I would like a do-over .....should have stayed in church, dated the nicer guys . Not been afraid of getting married and raising a family. I wasted 5 years on someone who continues to have a bad track record. ( he divorced 3 times..Thankfully I dodged that bullet!) . Happily married in my early 40’s but the bio clock had ticked. Oh well. Married a great guy with similar values. Can’t have it all. In a happy place none the less.

FM

 

[Austina]

I would not have gotten married at the tender age of 21

I got married at the tender age of 19, 39 years ago last Saturday, it’s one of the things I don’t regret, best thing I ever did

 

[Missy]

I would spend more time with my parents.

Huge (((HUGS))) to you Marcy. I hear what you and others have been saying about this and I agree. We always regret the time we didn't get to spend with those we adored and loved. It's so hard when they are gone and we are missing them terribly. I still miss my grandma so much and regret not spending that last day with her instead of rushing off doing nonsense. Cannot ever get that time back. So sorry Marcy. But your parents knew how much you adored them. Take comfort in that sweetheart.

I would change the amount of time I spent on people who didn’t deserve it!

Definitely agree with you Austina and I think this is one of those things you must live through to get. And yes I would change who I spend my energy and time on but fortunately I have learned from this past mistake and don't waste my time and energy on those who I know just don't deserve it!

I would have gone to college, I reasoned there was no way to attend college and hold down a full time job.

That was just an excuse, I was just afraid to go.

Stephanie don't give up...IMO you are still young enough to go for this now. As Jimmianne and Finleysmom wrote better to do it now than look back 10 years from now and say wow I could have gone for this when I first started regretting it and I was still young.

Never too late to go to school!

If only I could go back and study the faces of the peple I loved, do more for them, love more, hug more, be less critical and more supportive.
Kind of makes me laugh to reread what I wrote. So noble ...
My sister voted for t and I can hardly stand to talk her. Whoops! Still can’t get it right, even when I know I’ll regret my intolérance later. LOL

Jimmianne I hear you but don't be so hard on yourself. Tolerance of intolerance is super challenging and I get not wanting to be harsh with loved ones but it's hard when they support intolerant people and intolerant beliefs and principles...
(((hugs))).

I would not have gotten married at the tender age of 21

You were just a baby. 21. I look at my parents and at that age they were adults but personally I was still a child at that age. I guess it depends.

Go to school instead of going to pool halls and bowling alleys...

haha now it all makes sense Dancing Fire. It all makes sense.

I would have listened to everyone and wouldn’t have dated that 23 year old man when I was 16 years old.

Yup, been there and done that and yes I agree. I should have listened to the parents on that one too.

I wouldn't change one thing because I love where I am now and every step and action and experiece I had along the way got me here, so that is good enough for me.

I'm good.

Good for you girl! Sweet.

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Here's a fresh one: www ...

Ooooh. Maybe in the future?

I would have finished my degree and probably taken better control of our finances in our 20's.... It would have saved a lot of stress and heartache later on!

And left more for bling! Is it too late for you to do an advanced degree? Or are you content where you are now. Finances are always never enough IMO. Especially in today's tumultuous world. You just never know what is going to happen.

I would hold my tongue A LOT more. If only I had ever learned how.

Hahaha Lyra, you and I have the same problem. I open my mouth as soon as something pops into my head and need to learn to hold my tongue and my thoughts. But 52 years of being like this and I don't think I will be changing anytime soon.LOL. Plus I like the fact that I say what I mean and I mean what I say. But I regret hurting anyone's feelings ever. That is never my intent but sometimes it happens when one speaks too quickly. So yeah maybe I have to learn a little bit of self control in that department too.

What I would like a do-over .....should have stayed in church, dated the nicer guys . Not been afraid of getting married and raising a family. I wasted 5 years on someone who continues to have a bad track record. ( he divorced 3 times..Thankfully I dodged that bullet!) . Happily married in my early 40’s but the bio clock had ticked. Oh well. Married a great guy with similar values. Can’t have it all. In a happy place none the less.

FM

FinleysMom, so glad you are at a place in your life where you are happy and content and you would never have met and married the guy you are with now if the other stuff hadn't happened. Meant to be.

 

[Maisie]

I would get help for my mental health issues when I first realised I was not well. Instead I tried to pretend I was fine (for years) and now I’m rather broken.

 

[Missy]

I would get help for my mental health issues when I first realised I was not well. Instead I tried to pretend I was fine (for years) and now I’m rather broken.

(((Hugs))) Maisie...it isn't too late. Are you in therapy now? It is never too late sweetheart. Sending you big hugs and lots of love.

 

[Missy]

I don't have anything major that I regret. One relationship I wish I had listened to my parents about because well he was more trouble than he was worth and I was super lucky nothing bad happened with another guy who did drugs and then drove. So yeah I was a naive teenager in so many ways and thankful I got out of my teens intact.

I don't regret my profession as it served me well and provided a good living for me and also allowed the opportunity for me to meet my dh. I never would have met him otherwise so I will always be grateful for choosing my profession though I no longer am in that profession.

I don't regret the bad friendships (that caused heartache and pain and lots of tears and energy) because they allowed me to grow and become wiser and more in tune with who I am and what I want in relationships. I don't regret being open and available and vulnerable because that is who I am and I don't ever want to be a hardened person who is closed to others just because of some heartache and hurt. No. I will always be true to who I am no matter. But I do go by the mantra "Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me" and that has served me well moving forward. I will always give the benefit of the doubt to someone once but if burned by them they won't get that the second time around.

Having hindsight as foresight would have allowed me to say goodbye and make the most of those last months/weeks/days with loved ones fur babies and humans alike but since I cannot turn back the clock I will just cherish the memories I have and hope all my loved ones knew how much I loved and still love them. Yes I have regrets here but I cannot change anything now but I can change things moving forward with loved ones. But I will say it is hard even having the hindsight changing some things. If you kwim.

Someone rather young once told me something surprisingly wise... you rarely regret the things you said but regret the things you didn't say (and the things you didn't do)...in regards to telling someone how much I loved them and how much I cared. I think that is right. Meaning better to say it than not say it because you just never know. And I would rather look like a fool than miss out on letting someone I care about know that I do care.

And one thought that has stayed with me all my life is what my dad once told me. Life isn't worth anything if you don't take (worthwhile) risks and just go for it...sometimes playing it safe isn't smart and sometimes you just have to take that leap. Don't be afraid of failure. Failure will lead to success if you don't give up. Yeah my dad is a wise man and my dh still refers to his words of wisdom (that I tend to repeat to my dh when making my points) as "Stanleyisms" hahaha.

I know I have left stuff out and if more thoughts come to me I will add it here if this thread is still viable. I do wish I had more money so I could do more for the animals. Opening up an animal sanctuary to house thousands of animals would be a dream come true but it's an expensive dream out of reach right now...gotta play that lottery in order to win it LOL. Must remind myself of that one.

 

[Maisie]

(((Hugs))) Maisie...it isn't too late. Are you in therapy now? It is never too late sweetheart. Sending you big hugs and lots of love.

Thank you Missy. I’m getting the help I need now. I just wish I had admitted to it sooner. I would have saved years of awfulness.

 

[tyty333]

I might* have gotten a different degree that I enjoyed a little more. That's a tough call because I did make pretty good money with my degree but
in hindsight I did not enjoy the work.

 

[smitcompton]

Hi,

I would like to change the person I married at such a young age. I also would not have children if I could choose again, knowing what I know. I like kids and would just borrow some occasionally. But, we can't go back, so we may as well enjoy what we can.

Annette

 

[FinleysMom]

Ah..we are here now....we can’t change anything in hindsight ...we can just do better as we move forward. Age, immaturity, peer pressures....or not, etc. it is what it is! Let’s play in the pretties and enjpy the good things!

FM

 

[Jambalaya]

Great question.

I wish i had realised many years ago JUST how much of people's shitty behaviour is ALL ABOUT THEM, and NOT about you at all. It took me more than half my life to learn that. Would have saved me so much angst.

 

[valeria101]

Ooooh. Maybe in the future?

RE. life - In hindsight, I see no choices left un-tickled ...

RE. Diamonds in the future ?
YF seems to have created my cut - possibly not intended www. For context, the Context had also beckoned (not more than the original); so the upside-down stepped rose cuts are a relative complication ... I imagine the surface of such a diamond perfectly flush with the metal of a gypsy ring, like pooled water - or light ,-) as diamonds were called ! [new year resolution]

 

[rockysalamander]

I failed to visit an adored and dying family member on the day it was requested by his wife. I delayed that trip by one day. I never got to say goodbye in person and he never got to meet my son. I know he loved me and it was not a "thing" for him, but in hind-sight, I should never have valued work over family. I try to remember that...

Re: Education - A colleague just completed his bachelor's degree at 77!

 

[LJsapphire]

I would not have got myself into debt in my 20s. Took me quite a long, difficult time to get back from that.
I could regret my first marriage but it gave me my son and I wouldn't have met the wonderful man I have now.

 

[OoohShiny]

Too many things to mention...

 

[FinleysMom]

I failed to visit an adored and dying family member on the day it was requested by his wife. I delayed that trip by one day. I never got to say goodbye in person and he never got to meet my son. I know he loved me and it was not a "thing" for him, but in hind-sight, I should never have valued work over family. I try to remember that...

Re: Education - A colleague just completed his bachelor's degree at 77!

We cannot know when the time is for someone to pass on. I, too, have “missed” the deadline. We can only offer comfort to the survivors.

FM

 

[LLJsmom]

Spent more time with my kids when they were babies and toddlers. Those years are gone. There is no rewind button.