Hey There Blingalicious!

[VRBeauty]

If you have a moment, please drop by and let us know how you''re doing!

 

[Tuckins1]

I second that... Hope everything is ok!

 

[VRBeauty]

*** BUMP! ***

 

[dragonfly411]

BUMP

 

[wishful]

Bump! again!

 

[dragonfly411]

I have been too, and would really like to hear an update. Hoping everything is ok!!!

 

[dragonfly411]

Bling
I hope you check in soon, we''re still rooting for you!

 

[blingalicious]

Hi everyone--

I am so so so sorry for not posting in the past few weeks. You have all been so supportive, and I kept meaning to sit down and post and just didn''t get it done. Well, heres the update.

I have been seeing my therapist 2 times a week for almost a month. I can honestly say that therapy is going very very well. She is very helpful and supportive. I start once a week visits with her this coming week. I am in the "rebuilding" mode right now, especially with my self esteem. I have learned that the root of our problems definitely lie within my husband, but that I have played a role in this too, which is being a total enabler. I have allowed him to perpetuate this cycle. I always make excuses for him, and to some degree I have allowed the behavior up to a certain point. That was kind of hard to hear, but I know its the truth. My therapist really wants my husband to seek counseling, and I keep throwing out the suggestion. I keep hoping that he will finally get some help too, because it will take him getting help to solve this problem too.

As for the homefront, its been pretty peaceful lately. I did tell my husband that I am seeing a therapist, and he didn''t seem surprised, nor was he mad or upset about it. He asks me how it goes, and I tell him bits and pieces, and I keep telling him its a really positive environment in the hopes that he will go to therapy too. I figure if I can keep showing him that its not so bad, maybe he will overcome his fear and go too. Its like chipping away at a brick wall over and over. MAYBE the bricks will crumble and he will cave in and go. I am still living here at home. I have been picking up extra shifts at work though, and I opened up a separate checking account at a separate bank from our joint finances (with my best friends addy as the mailing address) and I am putting my overtime $$ into that account as my emergency fund JUST IN CASE. I am not scared for my physical safety right now, but as many of you pointed out, that can flip on a dime when you least expect it. I really don''t see him getting physical with me, but I made my escape plan just in case. I think he is scared right now. He sees that I am changing, and I am much more positive and confident in myself. I think that is why he is on his best behavior right now. I realize that his behavior right now is all part of the emotional abuse cycle, and my therapist has given me some tools to deal with the cycles.

So, thats what is going on as of right now. I hope that therapy continues to go so well, and I hope that I can convince my husband to go too. Thats really what has to happen for us to move forward. I guess time will tell.

 

[VRBeauty]

Blingalicious:

Thank you for checking in and letting us know how things are going! First and foremost I''m glad that you''re alright. I''m also glad to hear that you''ve found a good therapist who is providing you with both tools and awareness.

You sound much more self assured than you did when you first told us about your situation -- which I suspect is a good sign! Keep it up! Meanwhile, I will keep you and your husband in my thoughts.

 

[Kelli]

Thank you for checking in! I''ve been thinking about you and your situation as well. I hope things continue to go well for you in therapy, and in whatever happens with your husband.

 

[dragonfly411]

Bling-
Thank you SO SO Much for checking in. I have been worried for you and am glad to see that things are on a positive swing right now. I will pray every day for you and that your husband seeks some therapy as well, I do think it would help him! Good for you for taking action to help yourself, and to keep a bit of financial security tucked away. Perhaps he''ll start to see these changes and understand that he needs to change as well! Maybe part of this has been his view of you being dependent on him, and maybe now that he sees your independence, he''ll view it in a positive way and learn to be better.
I also wanted to recommend that you read a book by Sue Monk Kidd called Dance of the Dissident Daughter. It is a book I read after breaking up with my abusive ex, and it changed my life and the way I think, and really helped me to become a more powerful and independent woman. Another book I would recommend is one called On Becoming Fearless. It is a very very good book!
Please keep checking in with us, and let us know how you are doing, we''re all here for you and want the best. I''ll keep you in my thoughts and prayers!!!

 

[dragonfly411]

Bling - I just wanted to check in again to see how you are. I was thinking of you this morning. I hope you are doing well!

 

[lliang_chi]

Bling,

I just read about your story. Do keep us posted on how you''re doing. I''m glad to hear that you''re getting some help. But really all the help you can get in the world won''t do an ounce of good if he won''t get some help himself. But stay with therapy to help yourself. Your husband has done a lot and this is your opportunity to rebuild yourself. Stay strong.

~Lisa

 

[Tuckins1]

Hey Bling! Glad to hear you''re ok... Keep us posted!