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Help with songs for my class!

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Dreamer_D

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I teach a university class about the psychology of romantic relationships. For group work one day I plan to give students some song lyrics that illustrate different types of common behaviours in relationships and I want them to apply psychology theories that explain or summarize what is going on in the songs.

For example, I am using Pink''s "Please don''t leave me" to illustate anxious/ambivalent attachent style and also hostility resulting from rejection sensitivity
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I am looking for two more songs, one that illustrates a person who is very afraid of being in a relationship, so afraid that they will not even approach their love interest; and another that shows someone who never lets their love interest get too close because he/she is afraid of getting hurt.

Can anyone think of examples for these??
 
just a couple:

Billy Joel - And so it goes
Every rose has it''s thorn- umm Poison?

these just came to my head...lol not sure if they are any good though... This sounds like a fun group work DD!
 
Hmm. Alanis Morrisette''s first album popped into my head but I don''t know if there are any specific songs there that completely apply to either of your examples.
 
Date: 1/14/2010 9:43:57 PM
Author: monarch64
Hmm. Alanis Morrisette's first album popped into my head but I don't know if there are any specific songs there that completely apply to either of your examples.
Yep! Alanis...I totally forgot about her, one of my best friend was such an Alanis fan and really had issues with men and relationships at the time too..lol
 
"If It Kills Me" by Jason Mraz

It''s about being in love with your best friend and keeping quiet about it. Maybe that''s not well known enough.
 
I don't know that it exactly falls into what you want, but the first song that came to my mind is "That's as Close as I'll Get to Lovin You" by Aaron Tippin. Because of the line "But I can touch that hand that's against me" it seems to indicate that he's too afraid to approach the woman as a "love interest."


That's as Close as I'll Get to Loving You

(paul jefferson/sally dworsky/jan leyers)

Maybe we’ll never be seen together
At night on a crowded street
I may never reach across your body
And kill the light when you’re asleep

Maybe I’ll never watch you dressing
Or sound too familiar on the phone
But I can touch your hand that’s against me
And take that moment home

That’s as close as I’ll get to loving you
Even though there’s nothing else I’d rather do
I can dream, I can hope, I can see but still I know
That’s as close as I’ll get to loving you

I won’t be there when you need holding
But I’m sure that he can pull you through
But I can sing this song to everybody
And pretend it’s not about you

That’s as close as I’ll get to loving you
Even though there’s nothing else I’d rather do
I can dream, I can hope, I can see but still I know
That’s as close as I’ll get to loving you

That’s as close as I’ll get to loving you
Even though there’s nothing else I’d rather do
I can dream, I can hope, I can see but still I know
That’s as close as I’ll get to loving you

That’s as close as I’ll get to
Yeah that’s as close as I’ll get to
That’s as close as I’ll get to loving you





eta-Obviously the woman is already in a relationship, but that could be another part of the psychology??
 
Um..Because of You, Kelly Clarkson?

I''m cheating and googling things b/c I can''t think of anything off the top of my head.
 
Date: 1/14/2010 10:18:17 PM
Author: packrat
Um..Because of You, Kelly Clarkson?

I''m cheating and googling things b/c I can''t think of anything off the top of my head.
you know Kelly Clarkson, has many of those "type" of songs too....now that you remind me....like

Miss Independent
 
as for the one re not letting a love interest get too close because they''re afraid of being hurt....

how about 2 out of three aint bad by Meatloaf? this isnt the entirety, but it gives the general idea:

And all I can do
Is keep on telling you
I want you (I want you)
I need you (I need you)
But-there ain''t no way I''m ever gonna love you
Now don''t be sad (Don''t be sad)
''Cause two out of three ain''t bad
Now don''t be sad (Cause)
''Cause two out of three ain''t bad

You''ll never find your gold on a sandy beach
You''ll never drill for oil on a city street
I know you''re looking for a ruby in a mountain of rocks
But there ain''t no Coup de Ville
Hiding at the bottom of a Cracker Jack box
I can''t lie
I can''t tell you that I''m something I''m not
No matter how I try
I''ll never be able
To give you something
Something that I just haven''t got
There''s only one girl that I will ever love
And that was so many years ago
And though I know I''ll never get her out of my heart
She never loved me back
Ooh I know
I remember how she left me on a stormy night
She kissed me and got out of our bed
And though I pleaded and I begged her not to walk out that door
She packed her bags and turned right away
And she kept on telling me
She kept on telling me
She kept on telling me
I want you (I want you)
I need you (I need you)
But there ain''t no way I''m ever gonna love you
Now don''t be sad (Don''t be sad)
''Cause two out of three ain''t bad
 

Date:
1/14/2010 9:15:44 PM
Author:dreamer_dachsie

and another that shows someone who never lets their love interest get too close because he/she is afraid of getting hurt.
I think that "That''s What You Get For Lovin'' Me" is a really great example (psychologically speaking) of the person who never lets a love interest get too close for fear of getting hurt. I absolutely love the song (musically), too!

AGBF
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Ummm.....''On my own" sung by Eponine in Le Misarables?

But then she''s not exactly afriad to be in a relationship, it''s just about unrequited love because the man Eponine is in love with has no idea she love''s him and dosn''t reciprocate the feelings so she dosn''t tell him.
 
"I wont say (I'm in love)" from Hercules -

In this song the woman is activly trying to not let her love interest get to close because she's afraid of getting hurt again.

(sorry, I like musicals and also your class sounds fun)
 
Sugarland - Want To

This is the chorus.....

The whole world could change in a minute
Just one kiss could stop it spinning
We could think it through
I don''t want to
If you don''t want to

We could keep things just the same
Leave here the way we came
With nothing to lose
But I don''t want to
If you don''t want to
 
SS, LOVE that song. Omg it reminds me of being little.
 
I''m so in love with this idea. And yet can''t think of anything that fits exactly. But still, wanted to say, your class sounds great.
 
Date: 1/14/2010 9:15:44 PM
Author:dreamer_dachsie
hostility resulting from rejection sensitivity
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?

Here's a western swing tune, End Of The Line. You decide about the rejection sensitivity part, but the lyrics definitely have the hostility seething there, and the music is a bouncy, energetic, driving, "ha ha ha ha ha LOSER!" type of tune. I *especially* love its super-snide reference to a bus passenger, since bus is primarily the last-resort transportation mode of lower socioeconomic society. The "They tell me that true love is blind" part implies that the writer felt he was giving more than he was getting. I can see the cowboy booted foot helping the dump-ee out the door, hehe.

Asleep at the Wheel did a cover of this tune.

End Of The Line
copyrighted 1952 by Bob Wills / Jack Gimble

True love it has been until now dear
They tell me that true love is blind
But right now to me it's as plain as can be
You've come to the end of the line

You thought I'd be left broken hearted
You thought you would leave me way behind
Well I've paid my fare, you've got more than your share
Get off, it's the end of the line

You rode for half fare until now dear
You boarded the wrong bus this time
So a transfer for you doesn't make me feel blue
We've come to the end of the line

You thought I'd be left broken hearted
You thought you would bust this heart of mine
Well I've done had enough, you can pack up your stuff
Get out it's the end of the line
 
Are you opposed to musicals? This is "Nobody Needs to Know" from the Last Five Years. He is lying in bed with his mistress, talking about his wife.

JAMIE
Hey, kid – good morning –
You look like an angel.
I don’t remember when we fell asleep.
We should get up, kid –
Cathy is waiting…

Look at us, lying here,
Dreaming, pretending.
I made a promise and I took a vow.
I wrote a story,
And we changed the ending –
Cathy, just look at me now!

Hold on, facts are facts –
Just relax, lay low.
All right, the panic recedes:
Nobody needs to know.

Put on my armor –
I’m off to Ohio.
Back into battle till I don’t know when.
Swearing to her that I
Never was with you,
And praying I’ll hold you again.

Hold on, clip these wings –
Things get out of hand.
All right, it’s over, it’s done –
No one will understand.
No one will understand…

We build a treehouse,
I keep it from shaking –
Little more glue ev’ry time that it breaks.
Perfectly balanced,
And then I start making
Conscious, deliberate mistakes.

All that I ask for
Is one little corner –
One private room at the back of my heart.
Tell her I found one,
She sends out battalions
To claim it and blow it apart.

I grip and she grips,
And faster we’re sliding.
Sliding and spilling, and what can I do?
Come back to bed, kid –
Take me inside you –
I promise I won’t lie to you.

Hold on, don’t cry yet –
I won’t let you go.
All right – the panic recedes;
All right – everyone bleeds;
All right – I get what I need,
And nobody needs
To know.
Nobody needs to know…

And since I have to be in love with someone,
Since I need to be in love with someone,
Maybe I could be in love with someone
Like you…
 
Date: 1/14/2010 9:15:44 PM
Author:dreamer_dachsie
one that illustrates a person who is very afraid of being in a relationship, so afraid that they will not even approach their love interest

Ghost of a Chance
Victor P. Young / Bing Crosby / Ned Washington

I love you oh so madly
I need your love so badly
But I don''t stand a
Ghost of a chance with you

I thought at last I had found you
But other arms surround you
And I don''t stand a
Ghost of a chance with you

If you''d surrender just for
A tender kiss or two
You might discover that
I''m the lover meant for you
And I''d be true

So what''s the good of all my scheming?
I know I must be dreaming
For I don''t stand a
Ghost of a chance with you

(recorded by Diana Krall, Billie Holliday, Frank Sinatra, & many others)
 
Date: 1/14/2010 9:15:44 PM
Author:dreamer_dachsie
and another that shows someone who never lets their love interest get too close because he/she is afraid of getting hurt.

Probably not many songs were written about that, lol. This one sounds like a commitment phobe who does have some feelings, and possible regrets, maybe?

"How Insensitive" -- "a bossa nova jazz standard composed by Antônio Carlos Jobim, loosely based on Frederic Chopin''s Prelude No.4 with lyrics by Vinícius de Moraes. The English lyrics were written by Norman Gimbel."

"How Insensitive"

How insensitive
I must have seemed
When she told me that she loved me
How unmoved and cold
I must have seemed
When she told me so sincerely

Why she must have asked
Did I just turn and stare in icy silence
What was I to say
What can you say
When a love affair is over

Now she''s gone away
And I''m alone
With a memory of her last look
Vague and drawn and sad
I see it still
All her heartbreak in that last look
How she must have asked
Could I just turn and stare in icy silence
What was I to do
What can one do
When a love affair is over
 
Date: 1/14/2010 10:46:39 PM
Author: AGBF


Date:
1/14/2010 9:15:44 PM
Author:dreamer_dachsie

and another that shows someone who never lets their love interest get too close because he/she is afraid of getting hurt.
I think that ''That''s What You Get For Lovin'' Me'' is a really great example (psychologically speaking) of the person who never lets a love interest get too close for fear of getting hurt. I absolutely love the song (musically), too!

AGBF
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HI:

Spot oin Deb! ONe of my absolute favs also!!!

What about "Hope it gives you hell" by the All American Rejects?

cheers--Sharon
 
Here''s one about being a totally clueless & insensitive jerk to one''s wife or SO, lol.

Put Another Log on the Fire
Sheldon Silverstein

Put another log on the fire.
Cook me up some bacon and some beans.
And go out to the car and change the tire.
Wash my socks and sew my old blue jeans.
Come on, baby, you can fill my pipe
And then go fetch my slippers.
And boil me up another pot of tea.
Then put another log on the fire babe,
And come & tell me why you''re leaving me.

Now don''t I let you wash the car on Sunday?
And don''t I warn you when you''re gettin fat?
Ain''t I a-gonna take you fishin'' with me someday?
Well, a man can''t love a woman more than that.
And ain''t I always nice to your kid sister?
Don''t I take her driving every night?
So, sit here at my feet cause I like you when you''re sweet,
And you know it ain''t feminine to fight.

So, put another log on the fire.
Cook me up some bacon and some beans.
And go out to the car and change the tire.
Wash my socks and sew my old blue jeans.
Come on, baby, you can fill my pipe
And then go fetch my slippers.
And boil me up another pot of tea.
Then put another log on the fire babe,
And come & tell me why you''re leaving me.
 
Nothing compares to you... by Sinead O''conner.

It ain''t no fun... by like everyone Warren G, Snoop Dogg - etc.


:)
 
NO suggestions here, I am awful with song lyrics
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but cool class DD! How is it being back at work?
 
I cannot come up with any ideas to help you out, dreamer, but I just wanted to say that your class sounds fantastic! I bet you''re one of those profs that everyone remembers fondly years later.
 
Not sure it totally fits, but what about Dirty Little Secret by The All American Rejects?

Let me know that I''ve done wrong,
When I''ve known this all along,
I go around a time or two,
Just to waste my time with you.
Tell me all that you''ve thrown away,
Find out games you don''t wanna play,
You are the only one that needs to know--
I''ll keep you my dirty little secret,
(Dirty little secret)
Don''t tell anyone or you`ll be just another regret,
(Just another regret, hope that you can keep it)
My dirty little secret,
Who has to know?
When we live such fragile lives,
It''s the best way we survive,
I go around a time or two,
Just to waste my time with you,
Tell me all that you''ve thrown away,
find out games you don''t wanna play,
you are the only one that needs to know---
I''ll keep you my dirty little secret,
(Dirty little secret)
Don''t tell anyone or you''ll be just another regret,
(Just another regret, hope that you can keep it)
My dirty little secret.
Who has to know?
The way she feels inside (inside!)
Those thoughts I can''t deny (can''t deny!)
These sleeping thoughts won''t lie (won''t lie!)
And all I''ve tried to hide
It''s eating me apart
Trace this life back!
I''ll keep you my dirty little secret,
(Dirty little secret)
Don''t tell anyone or you''ll be just another regret.
(Just another regret)

I''ll keep you my dirty little secret,
Don''t tell anyone or you''ll be just another regret,
(Just another regret, hope that you can keep it)
My dirty little secret,
Dirty little secret,
Dirty little secret.

Who has to know?
Who has to know?
 
For someone who doesn''t let their love interest get too close, what about Tell Her This by Del Amitri. It''s about someone who has lost someone because they were distant and now regrets it.


Tell her not to go
I ain''t holding on no more
Tell her something in my mind freezes up from time to time

Tell her not to cry
I just got scared that''s all
Tell her I''ll be by her side, all she has to do is call, all she has to do is call

Tell her the chips are down
I drank too much and shouted it aloud
Tell her something in my heart
Needs her more than even clowns need the laughter of the crowd

Tell her what was wrong
I sometimes think to much
But say nothing at all
And tell her from this high terrain, I am ready now to fall, i am ready now to fall

Tell her not to go
I ain''t holding on no more
Tell her nothing if not this; all I want to do is kiss her

Tell her something in my mind
Freezes up from time to time.
 
Date: 1/15/2010 12:01:49 PM
Author: ladypirate
For someone who doesn''t let their love interest get too close, what about Tell Her This by Del Amitri. It''s about someone who has lost someone because they were distant and now regrets it.


Tell her not to go
I ain''t holding on no more
Tell her something in my mind freezes up from time to time

Tell her not to cry
I just got scared that''s all
Tell her I''ll be by her side, all she has to do is call, all she has to do is call

Tell her the chips are down
I drank too much and shouted it aloud
Tell her something in my heart
Needs her more than even clowns need the laughter of the crowd

Tell her what was wrong
I sometimes think to much
But say nothing at all
And tell her from this high terrain, I am ready now to fall, i am ready now to fall

Tell her not to go
I ain''t holding on no more
Tell her nothing if not this; all I want to do is kiss her

Tell her something in my mind
Freezes up from time to time.
LP I can''t even read the lyrics to this without tearing up.

I LOVE this song.
 
Sounds like a really fun and interesting course. How about;

Let it Grow – Eric Clapton
I’ll Be There – Jackson 5
Maybe I’m Amazed – Paul McCartney
Built to Last – Grateful Dead
 
Date: 1/15/2010 12:14:11 PM
Author: elledizzy5
Date: 1/15/2010 12:01:49 PM

Author: ladypirate

For someone who doesn''t let their love interest get too close, what about Tell Her This by Del Amitri. It''s about someone who has lost someone because they were distant and now regrets it.



Tell her not to go

I ain''t holding on no more

Tell her something in my mind freezes up from time to time


Tell her not to cry

I just got scared that''s all

Tell her I''ll be by her side, all she has to do is call, all she has to do is call


Tell her the chips are down

I drank too much and shouted it aloud

Tell her something in my heart

Needs her more than even clowns need the laughter of the crowd


Tell her what was wrong

I sometimes think to much

But say nothing at all

And tell her from this high terrain, I am ready now to fall, i am ready now to fall


Tell her not to go

I ain''t holding on no more

Tell her nothing if not this; all I want to do is kiss her


Tell her something in my mind

Freezes up from time to time.

LP I can''t even read the lyrics to this without tearing up.


I LOVE this song.

Me too, Elle. Seriously.
 

When I revisited this thread one of the songs posted reminded me of Uncle Kracker''s, "Follow Me".

Among the words are these lines:

"Follow me
Everything is alright
I''ll be the one to tuck you in at night
And if you want to leave
I can guarantee
You won''t find nobody else like me

Solo


Won''t give you money
I can''t give you the sky
It better off if you don''t ask why
I''m not the reason that you go stranded
We''ll be alright if you don''t ask me to stay"

Sounds like the message of someone who doesn''t want to be trapped ;-).

AGBF
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