Help with a newbie

[mrholty]

Howdy all, I am very happy that I just came across this site. Thank you.
I have spent several hours on the web, bought a couple of books of choosing engagement rings and I still have no idea what I want to do.

Here''s my dilemna and I need help fast since I would love to propose the week before Christmas.

My girlfriend recently moved to Fla. for a 1 year fellowship as she is a Physical Therapist working on her masters. However, I still live in NJ, but am able to see her fairly decently as I work for an airline. Here is my problem, I have gone and looked at rings of different sizes, colors, and I personally cannot really see the difference. I guess I don''t have the genes. I however love saphires and emeralds, but I know that my girlfriend wants a square diamond. I also know she likes white gold. However, beyond that I have never really spent much time discussing individual diamonds rings as I really want to surprise her out of the blue. We met 5 years ago on Halloween, when I made her laugh as I was dressed as a Teletubbie. From that point on, I knew I had something special. I want to surprise her on the week before December as she has a week off before Christmas and I''d love to propose as I plan on taking her somewhere and doing it there. (I''ll work that out later, maybe on top of Mt. Fuji)

My problem is, how do I choose a ring that I know she''ll love without knowing:

a. her ring size, (I can''t go steal a ring as she is in Fla. and I''m in NJ and if its gone too long she''ll notice.
b. I can''t find out from her friends (they don''t know, never really discussed it with them) and her mother and sister couldn''t help me as they can''t keep a secret and I don''t want her to catch wind of the idea. She''s convinced I''ll never get engaged.
c. Is it bad form, or even possible to get some sort of ring to use and then when (if) she accepts, go and choose a ring that she''ll really love. I''d pick something simple and not raised, since she is physical therapist she has to work with her hands a lot?

Therefore, any help would be appreciated. Additionally, if anyone here likes picking out diamonds and is in NJ/NY let me know as I may need your help.

 

[Gale]

When you visit, do you have any time in her home when she is not there with you? If you do, you can always take an impression of one of her rings by sliding it down a tapered candle. You can then get this to your jeweller. Make sure the candle is unscented - you don''t want her to smell something perfumey on your clothes or coming out of your luggage.

 

[yanekie25]

Thanks an excellent idea GAle. I would have never thought of it. I also know that you could put the stone in a temporary setting. propse with that, and have her chose the setting to her liking afterwards. It has been done before.

 

[sciencegeek]

Sneaky sneaky, Gale! That''s a great idea

The temp setting is also a great idea. I really enjoyed the experience of designing a ring together. A friend of mine proposed to his girlfriend with just the diamond in a really lovely jewelry box.

 

[SJS1234]

When my ex (yeah, divorced now) proposed he gave me the diamond set in a white gold, very plain WAY too large band. He knew I wanted something in platinum, and wanted to let me pick the setting myself -- so he told me just that right after he proposed. It was perfect! AND he had already purchased those little plastic things that fit around the ring, just in case it was way too big (which it was), so I was able to wear it immediately. The plain band was only about $100 (if that) -- so there was no real loss by purchasing it first. I wasn''t disappointed at all that it didn''t fit perfectly, and was excited that we were able to go together to shop for the setting of my choice!! All he had to worry about before proposing was the diamond and how to do it!!

 

[mrholty]

Gale-

The Candle is a great idea. I will try to do that. I am heading down in a few weeks so I''ll try then. I also like the simple white gold band and then we can go shopping together for what she wants. This will also allow me to get just the stone online instead of a normal B&M location, hopefully saving me some dough, cause in the airline industry layoffs are just around the corner. again. sigh...

If I can''t do that then I going for a size 7 or 8. The more I think about it, I remember something about some celtic ring at a fair last year being a 7 or 7 1/2? Do they even make halves? I don''t wear jewerly so I have no idea. I onetime went into her closet and wrote down her dress and pants size, shoe size, coat, bra, all that stuff for clothes so I wouldn''t forget. Unfortunately, I didn''t do the ring.

Next question, I know she likes a square stone. I also know that there are cushions, ascher, princess styles. I''m guessing that there are a hundred that I have no clue about. However, I know she like sparkles. Any suggestions on whats the brightest bling.

Final stupid question of the night, are hearts and arrows only available for round or do they have something similar for square stones.

 

[katbadness]

Date: 11/3/2004 9

6

7 PM
Author: mrholty

Next question, I know she likes a square stone. I also know that there are cushions, ascher, princess styles. I'm guessing that there are a hundred that I have no clue about. However, I know she like sparkles. Any suggestions on whats the brightest bling.

Final stupid question of the night, are hearts and arrows only available for round or do they have something similar for square stones.

You are right.. there are a lot of stones out there with a square outline.. and yes, there is even square H&A - Jubilee... to find out about this check out Good Old Gold's info on Jubilee.

Just to name a few square outline: princess, Jubilee, radiant (hard to come by in square), Flanders, Asscher..
Then there are the branded square cuts: Lucere, Lucida (Tiffany's and expensive!)...

Which one has the brightest bling? It depends on what you're looking for, I suppose.
They have different faceting pattern which means there are differences as to how they do the light return and what they look like face-up.

I'll post a few squares in a little bit.

 

[katbadness]

Jubilee (left) compared to RB (round brilliant on the right).

Just a note - generally the prongs cover the corners of the stone which makes the Jubilee look perfectly square (even though it doesn't have the pointed corners when loose).

 

[katbadness]

And for comparison - here''s a princess cut..

View attachment prcs_cut.jpg

 

[katbadness]

Let''s try again... Princess cut - notice the pointed corners.

 

[Sparkster]

Hey mrholty

My fiance didn''t propose with an e-ring and this didn''t make it any less special. His thought was that since I was the one who was going to have to wear it for the rest of my life, then I should be happy with the design. E-ring shopping together was a great experience and a lot of fun. We both learnt a lot about the four Cs (including the 5th and most important C - COST!)

Whatever you end up doing, I''m sure it will be a magical moment, one that you will both remember and treasure forever.

 

[mrholty]

Wow guys you are wonderful. From looking on here and reading all the stuff on Good old gold.com I really love the jubilee. Now I just have to find some in person to see if thats what I really want.

Just imagine, about 2 weeks ago I had read a book by Fred Cuellar, another book by some woman which I got nothing out of. I had been to three stores of which I couldn''t find much help. I went with my friend to a few places but I still didn''t feel comfortable, now I''ve been here and I can''t leave.

Before all this, my head was just swimming, now I''m almost floating. These are the problems I had:

1. No idea on ring size

Solved: Now I''m going to visit with a candle.

2. I have no idea on the band

Solved: Simple band of white gold for the engagement. If she wants something else, we can shop for together with wedding bands at the same time. I hope to get something that will link together.

3. Something square and I can''t tell the difference. In the book I read there are so many names I get confused.

the Pictures have done wonders. Seeing them side by side.

4. What is my budget?

My budget is $5,500. I hope to spend about $5,000 on the stone and just get a simple band.

That''s it for now. Am I crazy in my budget? I have $5,000 saved and I can''t really splurge beyond this as my company is planning about a 10% paycut anytime. Any idea of what I can get in a jubilee for about this amount. Size, color, etc.

I was hoping sor something about 1.0 carat, H or I color, VS2 or SI1 in clarity, cut all I know is I really like the jubilee on the web. Now to see some ones in real life.

Wish me luck. BTW, am I screwed up in that I cannot search for jubilee''s on pricescope? Thanks.

Maybe after this is all done, I''ll show this website to my hopefully fiancee.

 

[Blaineypoo]

Do it like the movie sweet home alabama. Propose in front of a jewlery store out of the blue. If you get a crowd, its just that more romantic. Have her look at stones, then go find one via internet. Sorry if it sounds dumb, but im a cheesy romantic, and that movie made me cry

 

[Jennifer5973]

Congrats! You are well on your way to ering happiness! I think it is so sweet how you are planning to surprise your GF.

The Jubilee is an awesome stone--and unique. She will be dazzled! I think $5,500 is a fine budget and you should do very well. Good luck!

 

[mrholty]

Thanks everyone for the words of encouragement. The long distance of the relationship is starting to take a toll, it''ll be fine but its just a few rough days. Its pretty much due to the impending holidays and the pressure on me that I need to make a move. Little does everyone realize that I take forever in these things...

It''s hard not to see someone you really love and care for for over a month. I appreciate all the help and I''ve decided to try and see some jubilees in person and go from there.

 

[yanekie25]

She is a very lucky girl to have someone like you. You have thought about everything. I am sure whatever you do she will love it. Good luck and come back and let us know how it goes.