Help, where the heck do I start?

[Jas12]

Moms or soon-to-be moms:

Yesterday I had a panic moment when I realized that I was 3 months pregnant and have just 1/2 a year to plan for my first baby. So while I do realize that i should plan not to plan and really can''t predict how/to what extent my life will totally change, I do feel like i should get a handle on the stuff I am responsible for prior to baby''s arrival: namely, BABY GEAR

DH and I were remarking on how we spent 16 months planning the wedding--one tiny day and now just 6 months for the biggest change of our life! I feel a little overwhelmed with ''getting ready''. I would like to start looking into or purchasing the car seat, crib, bassinet, stroller, breast pumps etc, etc. now but I don''t even know where to start. Too much info floating around out there...

How did you guys go about it? Is there a great consumer review site? Can you recommend an excellent product that you just can''t live without? Is there something you wish you could have/should have purchased before hand? Is there something you thought you or baby could not live without but now collects dust in the corner of the living room? Any info would be appreciated!

These are some of the areas I need help with:
Crib
Bassinet
Change table
Stroller!! (should i get one for shopping etc. one for exercise?)
Car seat!
Breast pump
Swing?
Baby sling ?
*any other ''can''t live without'' products/books/lotions/potions etc.*

 

[ellaila]

Hey Jas!

I think the best advice I got was not to worry about getting *everything* done ahead of time -- the first few weeks/months, all the baby cares about is having diapers, clothes, and food! Of course, you need a good carseat and crib/bassinet, and things like that, but don''t stress about having all the toys and high chairs and everything before the baby comes. Do what you can, but if you can''t, then that''s OK too. It''ll all happen in time.

I think the best place to start is with the book Baby Bargains. A friend gave me hers -- I hadn''t even heard of it -- and it''s a lifesaver! It reviews *everything* and from what I gather, for the most part, you can''t go wrong if you get any of their A-rated stuff. It even tells you what NOT to waste your money on, so it''s really a great resource!

For me, I wound up doing all my registering online based on what Baby Bargains and friends have told me. Oh, and definitely go back and read through old pages of the PG thread -- TONS of good advice/recommendations there!

I don''t have any specific recommendations just yet since my little ones haven''t arrived yet (and hopefully won''t for quite some time!), so my only advice is to definitely check out Baby Bargains!

 

[njc]

Interesting you compare planning your wedding to planning for the baby… we have actually had more time to plan for the baby than our wedding! 8 months for baby, 6 for wedding.

Ask as many moms as you can a thousand questions about what they liked and used. Find other forums on the internet to talk to moms and ask questions. BabyCenter has a good baby products board and a board devoted to nothing but car seats! The book Ella suggests is good too… I had a friend lend me one. But don’t be afraid to do your own research as well! And yes, go back and read the pregnancy thread… Diver, Curly, Chrono and some of the other mothers have given some great advice on things to get as well as quanities.

My biggest mantra has been “Don’t buy into the hype!” Just like weddings, companies want to sell you everything under the sun for your baby whether you need it or not. Of course the opinion of needing it or not varies, but you need to take a step back and know what would work for you. And yes, there will be times where you aren’t going to know what is going to work for you and you just gotta take a leap of faith so to speak. There have been plenty of occasions DH and I have just stared at a shelf in Babies R Us trying to decide what to get because sometimes there seems to be no large difference between everything. We don’t have a lot of storage space or floor space, so a lot of our decisions have been based on those needs. Some of the “hype” for me has been: breastfeeding wraps (I’ll use a blanket), wipe warmer, and cribs that convert to toddler beds (the one we picked converts straight to a full-size… I never had a toddler bed!). I’ve also decided to forgo the separate changing table in the nursery and just use the top of our dresser. Once baby is here, I could hate it and end up getting something, but I decided I’d rather know I need it versus having it just sit there and have been a waste of money.

Oh, and some of our decisions were made for us so to speak because people have offered to lend us things. Our baby swing, breast pump and bassinet are all being lent to us.

Good luck! It’s not as bad as it seems… I promise! I was overwhelmed once too, but I survived!

 

[Jas12]

Ellaila--that is a good point about the baby not needing as much as the parents think s/he does (at least not right away, as you point out!) I''ll focus on the basics for now.

NJC--it is so true about all the hype--i think the pregnancy mags are worse than wedding mags b/c they play the emotion card. I feel the subtle message of: "Your baby NEEDS this, you are not a good mom if you don''t buy xyz"
I think that is why i get carried away with researching stuff--i don''t want to buy into that nonsense!

I am going to check out the info on here to start and see where that leads

thanks!

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Jas, the preggo thread has a lot of good advice. I am not sure if you have read through the whole thing. Ella and njc are right. You need a place for the baby to sleep, diapers, bath, bottles (if you are formula feeding), car seat, and min. amount of clothing. Besides that you are good for a few months. I still need to get a few things (I have 6 weeks until my EDD) but I know they will get done. Since this is our first I was not as budget aware as maybe I should be. But I figure my swing, crib, stroller, car seat...will be around for awhile so I focused on quality. Like they said talk to moms and see what they like. My friends told me their pack n plays, infant seats and swings were LIFESAVERS. So I made sure to get those. As for brands the staff at BRU are really helpful. Go there. Push some strollers around. See what you like. Trust me you have PLENTLY of time. It goes slowly

 

[Jas12]

Thanks Tacori

I am going to make a trip to BRU (we don''t have one in the city i live in, but a i''ll find one)

If the snail-speed of the past 12 weeks is any indication of how long this pregnancy is going to feel, you are right--i have LOTS of time to kill!

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Jas I feel like I have been preggo FOREVER. I did find out super early though. Once you start having showers planned it will kick you in gear to pick everything out. I like reading the online reviews (BRU, Target, Babycenterstore.com). I''d be happy to tell you the products *I* chose but I am not promising they are right for everyone

I just went based on instinct, price, and maybe a little on looks (I hate cheesy, baby stuff. I can''t help it!). We were lucky, besides our bedding and a few more things (moniter and carrier) we got all our big stuff bought for us. Having 3 showers helped (but I know I am done forever now. I will not have showers for any additional children). We didn''t even start our nursery until my 3rd trimester so trust me, you are not behind!

 

[TravelingGal]

Girl, are you TRYING to give me a heart attack?

We have practically the same due date - in fact, if I had given them the date of my last period (vs conception), it would have been the SAME due date. I haven''t even started thinking about this stuff yet!!

 

[ellaila]

Well, we planned our wedding in just four months and we just registered at BRU about two weeks ago and are starting the nursery this week (and I''m due in hopefully a minimum of 12 weeks, max of 16), so I guess I just work better with NOT planning things too much in advance!

I think that you will drive yourself nuts if you start doing everything too soon because you are going to get a million different opinions from everyone and their mother -- like Tacori said, you''ve got plenty of time! It can get very overwhelming once you start looking into all that you need (we''ve all been there! I still AM there!), so really I don''t think you should stress yourself with this for a little while still. That''s just my opinion at least. I found that once I did start to register for things, it came together pretty quickly. I had friends with babies look at my registry and tell me what was good and what was unnecessary. Also, your doctor''s office probably has freebie magazines, and those are good places to look -- yes, they can try to sell you on way too much stuff, but I have definitely seen lots of cool products in those that I wouldn''t have known about otherwise. So if I were you, I''d start looking through magazines and earmarking cool things, buy Baby Bargains and maybe start taking some notes, but other than that, I wouldn''t go too nuts yet.

Again, that''s just my opinion -- and I''m a procrastinator that works best under pressure

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Ella, I don''t have the Baby Bargins book. I am curious to what they say about BF pumps? I was looking to get the single medela battery (with A/C adapter) one (since I work from home I don''t need a double and probably won''t pump more than once a day). My BF teacher told the twin mommy to rent hers from the hospital (since they are better quality FYI).

 

[ellaila]

I''ll try to remember to look tonight when I get home and let you know what the book says. From what I''ve heard, the Medela Pump in Style is one of the best ones -- is that the one you were considering?

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Thanks! No I don''t think I need something that heavy duty. I was looking at the "Medela Single Deluxe Battery/Electric Breastpump" it is around $60. It seems to have gotten good reviews and out teacher even said she liked it for women who don''t need to pump often (of the hand pump ones). Plus Medela uses all BPA free plastic.

 

[Jas12]

Traveling Gal--hehe, no, sorry, not trying to induce panic in you--i promise. I think i am just thinking of this stuff a lot b/c DH and I are considering moving right now and with moving comes ''stuff'' to pack and so I was thinking that i would like to research what i wanted way ahead of time, before the moving frenzy begins but not buy it all till wayyy later when we have a new place to move into. I am usually a procrastinator extrodinaire, so i don''t know what''s up??
--That''s funny that we pretty much have identical due dates!!

Tacori--a little ashamed to admit i am going to go largely on looks as well. I HATE most of the baby stuff out there. When i found out my MIL bought a yellow blanket with teddy bears all over it I had to hide my gag reflex. So okay, that''s mean but I figure a newborn doesn''t give a darn whether or not there are dancing bears and floating pastel lambs all over their clothing and accessories...but i do, so i am shopping with MY tastes in mine

 

[Tacori E-ring]

When you look in baby''s closet it is obvious which clothes I bought and which were gifts. I totally understand that gag reflex. I found cool stuff at Target (babylious & circo). and love old navy''s baby clothes. Carter has some decent stuff too. But I do not like winnie the pooh, cartoonish things, farm animals (most of the time) Sorry if this offends anyone....Are you finding out your baby''s sex?

 

[ellaila]

I''m with you guys on the clothes/themes, etc. That''s why it was so hard for us to find bedding for both babies - I didnt want Winnie the Pooh or Disney or anything like that. Baby stuff can be cute without being cloyingly so, you know? I don''t know why most people don''t seem to get that!

Tacori, here''s what Baby Bargains (6th edition -- I think the 7th edition is out now) says re: breast pump recommendations:

Manual pump: The best manual pump is the Avent Isis ($45). Second runner-up is the Medela Harmony.
Mini-electric pump: Medela''s new Double Select mini-electric is pricey ($100) but very good quality. Yes, you can find other bands of mini-electric pumps in discount stores for $40-$50, but we have on word of advice: don''t.
Professional Grade Pump: You can''t go wrong with either, so we''ll make it a tie: the Medela Pump In Style ($270-$300) and Ameda Purely Yours ($150-$200) are the co-champs. A dark horse choice, especially for commuters, would be the Whisper Wear Double Breast Pump for $220.

It goes on to say that you should RENT a hospital-grade one for a week or two or a month and then once you decide whether or not pumping is for you, then you should consider buying your own. And that if you decide to buy one, then it''s worth it to invest in a Medela or Ameda. So I think the one you''re considering is probably a good one!

As for milk storage bags, Lanisoh (sold in Target) is the "hands down winner." They "are sturdy, stand on their own, and have an excellent double lock seal closure." Medela''s storage bags got really bad reviews though. Other good ones are Gerber Seal N Go and the Pump-Mate. Also it recommends Mothers Milk Mate, whcih is a $30, 10-bottle storage system -- it says that bottles are better storage than bags b/c Momma''s antibodies stick to the bags and don''t get to the baby, whereas they do withthe bottles.

TMI for you?

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Thanks Ella! Never TMI!

 

[somethingshiny]

The best thing (and easiest) I did to stock up was take a mommy friend with me to register. My husband and I went together first to get into it. Then, I took my best friend and she guided me to exactly what I needed. She told me to remove a couple things from the original registry, like those little mittens. And then she told me to add about half a dozen crib sheets. Layer matress pads and crib sheets so if the baby pees through in the middle of the night, you just reach in and pull of the top set, and VOILA! fresh and clean again!! Also, she told me to take off those silly 4oz bottles since you can only use them for the first couple months and get more 8oz bottles.

Also, LANISOH!! Even if you''re not breastfeeding, it makes your nipples feel SO much better!!

Good Luck!

 

[withlove]

Jas I was feeling the same thing you were and a good friend of mine told me to relax, stop stressing and just enjoy being pregnant (or try 2 depending on how your pregnancy is going).

Now, that worked for a little but not so much now (as I am due on Dec 24). If you cant hold it, hold your money and just make up the lists of what you want/need (always get a mom to look over them because they will tell you that some things are a waste of time). You are also may want to wait until after your baby shower as a lot of the things you would have bought will be bought for you.

Kat

 

[Jas12]

Tacori--so funny, cuz i totallly share the sentiment about the no cartoons or ''pictures'' on my baby stuff! We don''t have target in canada (darn!) but i do love a lot of baby gap and old navy stuff. I think i''ll have to make a trip over the border to Buffalo NY just to go to target and stock up.

Ella--thanks!!!! terrific information, i am going to write it down now

Somethingshiny--I never thought of bringing a mom along with me. I don''t have any close friends who have had babies recently, but i am sure i can track someone down--great idea

 

[njc]

I agree with everyone else, take your time buying, but I don’t think it hurts to start looking at things. I just got everything finished up last night and I am due in exactly 2 weeks today. As I would read things and see products get recommended, I would go to the websites and bookmark them in a special folder. Once I was ready to really pick stuff, I looked through all those links and then I would go to the stores and play.

Another thought on starting too soon… new products come out all the time! By waiting to pick our car seat and stroller I was able to get the Chicco Keyfit30 which, unless something has come out in the last month, has the highest weight and height limit of any seat out there AND the lowest weight limit at 4 lbs (Ella… makes me think of you and twins!). I wanted the biggest bang for my buck and DH and I are both tall, so I will be very shocked if this kid is tiny. Same goes for patterns of stuff… they change all the time too.

Add me to the list of not wanting Mickey and Pooh dancing all over my house! It took us a solid month/month and a half to find bedding that we both liked. I got a brush and comb set at my shower that is Precious Moments themed… it makes me want to puke, but it was free and really is a nice brush, so we are using it! One of the biggest things I like about the Chicco products are they don’t scream baby like some of the other stuff.

And this goes back to what Ella (I believe) originally said about you don’t need everything right away… what we have is a starting point. Once baby is here and we find out our routine and what products we like to use, I plan on buying more of whatever. Like I was putting away clothes over the weekend and did it about 3 different ways before giving up going, its fine for now, I will figure out what works best for me once I start using everything!

Tacori – I don’t think you can go wrong with Medela. I remember reading somewhere that Ameda and Medela are made by the same company or the parts are… something to that effect. I also had a friend tell me over the weekend that the Medela steam bags are worth it. She said she could use one bag around 40 times and used them to clean her BP parts at work and to sterilize bottles and nipples as well! I thought that was a pretty good tip since I had figured I didn’t need them. Also, I got some of these bottles to start off with because they work with the pump, can be stored in the fridge or freezer and have nipples if you want to use them to feed.

 

[chrono]

Don''t go crazy on baby bottles and nipples. Both mine never graduated to the 8oz, they preferred the 4oz bottles. My oldest never drank more than that even until he was weaned and my youngest (now 9months), still doesn''t drink more than 3 oz in one sitting.

Also, some babies are pickier than others in terms of artificial nipple preference: some like the gerber nuk, other like the breasflow, or playtex or advent, or someother, while other babies just don''t care. So, don''t stock up too many of 1 type.

 

[Jas12]

I feel a lot better now--i think i''ll do the bookmark thing and keep track of ideas (i have been emailing articles etc. to myself as i come across them)

Then, as suggested, get a mom friend to help with the registry...funny, b/c about 10 min after I read somethingshiny''s post and i said i didn''t have a close friend who has had a baby recently one of the teachers i work with walked into my office and she has 17 month old twins! Presto, perfect busy mom to ask! She is more than pleased to help...so that was great timing!

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Jas I took my mom when I went to go register and she was more overwhelmed than I was! Most of the products out there didn''t exist when we were babies. She was good for moral support but not for product suggestions. Honestly like I said before I really talked to the SAs. I *HOPE* I made good choices. Only time will tell! Also join a preggo board. They are good for suggestions.