Help: Out with the old and in with the new?

[amorfati]

I am new to the forum, but a long time reader (and a fan of so many member''s diamonds!). You all have always been helpful for everyone who has posted, so hopefully you can help my roommate out.

My roommate and her long time partner have decided to get married when they go to Hawaii in November. They have decided to, for now, forego the engagement ring to cost-effectively elope. My roommate was previously married, several years ago and only for a brief period of time. She really loves the engagement ring from her previous marriage and picked it out herself. After they separated, she returned the non-matching wedding band her ex picked out, but paid in the divorce settlement to keep the engagement ring.

When looking for a wedding ring, she found that her old engagement ring now has a matching wedding band. Although she knows that it is a faux-pas she is tempted to re-use her old engagement ring (with a bigger and better center) and buy the now existing engagement ring:
http://www.primestyle.com/images/15706_YG_1b.jpg

As her roommate, I told her I would try to help find some alternatives. She is looking for a white gold wedding band, with princess cut diamonds, in a unique setting. Any ideas? Or do you think she should just buy the engagement band for her old wedding ring and re-use her old engagement band?

Thank you so much!!!

 

[Hera]

I''m a little confused. When you''re talking about engagement bands are you referring to wedding band?

 

[amorfati]

It is a little confusing. Let me backup a little...

My roommate is divorced, and after the divorce she kept the engagement ring but returned the non-matching wedding band. She is now engaged to a new fellow and plans to get married in November. Her partner has given her no engagement ring. They plan on getting the engagement ring down the road, when they have more money, by buying a new one or changing the center stone in her ex-husband''s engagement ring. All she wants by when her and her partner get married in November is a wedding ring. Hence, she will have no engagement ring during their engagement and is not currently looking for one. (I recognize how unconventional this)

So, she is trying to decide whether to buy the matching wedding band for her ex-husband''s engagement ring (and potentially reuse the ex-husband''s engagement ring down the road) OR buy a new wedding band. I was hoping to find a unique wedding band for her so that she may be pulled away from the "re-use" path. But perhaps people think re-using is okay?

 

[belle]

if she and the new guy are okay with it, that is all that matters. truly. it''s not worth making a rocky start over a disagreement about a ring for sure, so if one is hesitant, it shouldn''t happen. otherwise, i say GO FOR IT! save some $$$ and wear the ring you love!

 

[MustangGal]

I just found out one of my co-workers did exactly what your friend is thinking of. She designed her original e-ring, and kept it at the dicorce, and liked it so much that she''s wearing it with her second husband as well. They should just talk about it and make sure they''re both OK with the situation. If they are, then why not?

 

[amorfati]

Thank you both for your comments. I think that was exactly what my roommate was looking to hear.

 

[lyra]

I like the pic of that wedding band. She certainly should wear her old engagement ring if she wants to--she paid for it!

 

[amorfati]

Thank you everyone for your comments.

My roommate and her partner have now gotten married. They decided to go with buying the matching wedding band for her previous engagement ring. I thought though you all may like to see them.

 

[amorfati]

Another shot...

 

[Rhea]

Very pretty! She must be happy about her decision to stay with the e-ring. Congrats to them!

 

[tberube]

ooooo...that wedding band is purdy. And I'm not even a big fan of pricess cuts, but that's gorgeous, and so unique!

As for your roommate's dilemma, it is certainly not traditional, common or widely accepted to wear your old engagement ring over again in your new marriage. But with that said, to each is own and people will always do what they want. Your roommate did pay for her old ring in the end which makes it her rightful property, and no longer a gift from her ex. So - I can't see why not if she really does want to keep wearing the ring, why she just shouldn't. Who could tell her no? And, who will ever know if she doesn't tell them??

ETA: Sorry I didn't read the whole thread before responding - I'm glad she made the decision to keep the ring, it's gorgeous!

 

[iheartscience]

What a cool and unique set-I''m glad she kept it! My friend''s mom was married before she met my friend''s dad, and she ended up keeping the engagement ring from the first marriage and using it for the second marriage as well! I think it''s awesome that she did it...why let a big, beautiful diamond go to waste?!

 

[diamondseeker2006]

I agree! I wouldn''t reuse a wedding band, but why not use an e-ring she already had and loved?

 

[NeverEndingUpgrade]

WOW! I can see why she wanted to keep that e-ring. What a spectacular set!

diamondseeker2006, I am sorry my user name is so copycat to yours. When I signed up, I could not think of anything. I did not know about your name. Call me unoriginal!

 

[asscherisme]

My grandmother wore her engagment ring from my grandfather as is - no changed for her second marriage.

My second grandfather (I never called him my "step" because she married him before I was born and he was the best grandfather anyone could ask for, much more active in my life than her first husband, my genetic grandfather)

Anyway, grandma had a nasty divorce from her first husband (my biological grandfather) and from that marriage, she kept an amazing 2.5 ct center stone platinum engagement ring. Was married to him for 25 years.

After 3 years of being single, she met my second grandfather on a blind date and married him 3 months later at the age of 48. My second grandfather was never into jewelery. However, he offered to buy her a diamond. She, being very practical said that was silly since she had a beautiful engagement ring sitting in her safe box at the bank. He felt that since it was her ring and he wanted her to be happy that if she wanted to wear it, it was OK with him. She told me that he had no issues with it being bad luck. And they ended up saving the money and she wore the ring. I love that ring, she still wears it. I always felt the fact that second grandpa was fine with grandma wanting to wear it showed what a secure man he was. And smart man to let grandma do what she wanted to keep her happy!

Grandma's second marriage lasted 34 years and ended when second grandpa passed away 3 years ago

He was an amazing man.

Anyhow, her second marriage was longer than her first and they were such a great couple. I love being around them as a couple and their relationship was something to aspire to.

Hows that for a great story of no bad luck with reusing a ring!!

I like your friends set. My second grandpa did buy grandma a nice wedding band and had it engraved inside.

edited to add: I'm miss practical just like my grandma. Hopefully I'll be married forever to my husband but if for somereason I'm not, I see no problem wearing a ring again if its something that both people are OK with.