Help! Name that designer (bridesmaids dress)

[JSM]

Hi,

I''ve noticed that the ladies here in BWW are excellent in finding the designers of dresses! I''m standing up in a wedding and I got a pic of another maid in the dress the bride picked out. To be frank, money is tight here and the price the shop wants for it is outrageous! Please help me identify the designer so I can order it from Netbride or a similar site!

 

[ficklefaye]

with no photo of the back, this is my best guess

http://www.bestbridalprices.com/watters-and-watters-bridesmaid-dress-9250-p-6060.html

 

[JSM]

I''ve since gotten more info, including the color (mandarin) and the fact that there are buttons down the back - it looks like a winner! Thank you so so much ficklefaye!

 

[KatyWI]

Are you SERIOUS?! The *best* price from an online retailer is *STILL* $256???!! I can''t even imagine what they cost in a boutique!!

What was your friend thinking when she chose these dresses?? Yeeeesh. I''ll stop feeling guilty about the $165 my girls spent... oh, about now! I mean, it''s one thing if everyone can afford it, but obviously that''s not the case here!

I''m glad at least that you found it and get to save some cash!

 

[JSM]

Well, I haven''t checked out other places yet (Netbride, for example), and I''m hoping I can find it cheaper.

As to what she''s thinking... it''s not a friend but family... and I don''t think she''s taking our budgets into account. If she were a friend I''d ask point blank what she''s thinking, but as it''s family I''m not sure I can really say anything without ruffling some feathers.

Hence why I''m looking it up online! I hope to not have to fight her about not buying it from her ''boutique'', but we''ll see what happens!

Thanks for your input KatyWI, I do appreciate it (and agree!).

 

[emeraldlover1]

This conversation comes up a lot but the bottom line is being in weddings is expensive. It''s the brides choice which dress she wants the girls to wear. It''s nice when they take budgets into consideration however bridesmaids can always say no to being in a wedding they can''t afford. I think $300 is the max you should ask people to pay but that is personal preference. I''m glad you can find it online to bring down the cost a bit but I would not say anything to her. Also, if I friend said that to me I would be offended.

 

[KatyWI]

I may have come off a little rude, and I apologize. It''s just that I would say yes to being in one of my close friends'' weddings, but if someone asked me to pay $350-400 for a dress (what I assume the dress costs taking into account the online price) I would have to tell them that it would be an impossible expense for me considering the other expenses that are sure to occur. I definitely assume that agreeing to be in a wedding carries a large price tag (even my fairly low-budget wedding has been expensive for my girls) but there is definitely a limit. And I think that even though the bride gets to choose, she should at least attempt to choose a dress that is reasonably within the budget of her bridesmaids. You can''t assume everyone has that kind of money to spend, even if it is your wedding.

I''d never tell a friend OR family that she was crazy, it was just me incredulously expressing sympathy for jsm having to deal with the cost. If it were me and I truly couldn''t afford it, I''d bow out gracefully or hope to find a way to make it happen.

 

[tyty333]

If she gets upset about you wanting to order it online then she can pay the difference from what you would
have to pay online and the cost at the boutique. Then order it from the boutique with the rest of the
girls. Sounds fair to me.

 

[JSM]

Date: 8/31/2009 9:21:57 AM
Author: emeraldlover1
This conversation comes up a lot but the bottom line is being in weddings is expensive. It''s the brides choice which dress she wants the girls to wear. It''s nice when they take budgets into consideration however bridesmaids can always say no to being in a wedding they can''t afford. I think $300 is the max you should ask people to pay but that is personal preference. I''m glad you can find it online to bring down the cost a bit but I would not say anything to her. Also, if I friend said that to me I would be offended.

First off, if you knew your friend was going through hard times wouldn''t you make an effort to make it affordable for her? Shouldn''t friendship take precedence over a ''perfect bridal party''?

I know weddings are very expensive (heck, this is why I eloped). I am extremely honored to be in the wedding and do NOT want to say anything to offend. I would never say anything to her, it''s her wedding. If it were a friend (though all my friend''s bridal parties I''ve been in the dresses were less than $175), I would decline. However, this is my only brother''s wedding and I will be standing up, even though the expenses are going on a credit card. I''m just trying to minimize the costs.

For some people, myself included, $300 can make or break a monthly budget. I''m working hard to make a better life for myself and my husband (I just got my MS degree) but life happens!

Thank you again KatyWI. The dress won''t be quite as high as you are thinking, thankfully (though I''m sure it will need alterations, I''m short!).

And tyty333, I like that idea! I know of at least two other bridesmaids who will like to go along with that!

 

[tyty333]

Date: 8/31/2009 11:22:35 AM
Author: jsm

Date: 8/31/2009 9:21:57 AM
Author: emeraldlover1
This conversation comes up a lot but the bottom line is being in weddings is expensive. It''s the brides choice which dress she wants the girls to wear. It''s nice when they take budgets into consideration however bridesmaids can always say no to being in a wedding they can''t afford. I think $300 is the max you should ask people to pay but that is personal preference. I''m glad you can find it online to bring down the cost a bit but I would not say anything to her. Also, if I friend said that to me I would be offended.

First off, if you knew your friend was going through hard times wouldn''t you make an effort to make it affordable for her? Shouldn''t friendship take precedence over a ''perfect bridal party''?

I know weddings are very expensive (heck, this is why I eloped). I am extremely honored to be in the wedding and do NOT want to say anything to offend. I would never say anything to her, it''s her wedding. If it were a friend (though all my friend''s bridal parties I''ve been in the dresses were less than $175), I would decline. However, this is my only brother''s wedding and I will be standing up, even though the expenses are going on a credit card. I''m just trying to minimize the costs.

For some people, myself included, $300 can make or break a monthly budget. I''m working hard to make a better life for myself and my husband (I just got my MS degree) but life happens!

Thank you again KatyWI. The dress won''t be quite as high as you are thinking, thankfully (though I''m sure it will need alterations, I''m short!).

And tyty333, I like that idea! I know of at least two other bridesmaids who will like to go along with that!

Go for it! You have my blessings

!

 

[emeraldlover1]

Date: 8/31/2009 11:22:35 AM
Author: jsm

Date: 8/31/2009 9:21:57 AM
Author: emeraldlover1
This conversation comes up a lot but the bottom line is being in weddings is expensive. It''s the brides choice which dress she wants the girls to wear. It''s nice when they take budgets into consideration however bridesmaids can always say no to being in a wedding they can''t afford. I think $300 is the max you should ask people to pay but that is personal preference. I''m glad you can find it online to bring down the cost a bit but I would not say anything to her. Also, if I friend said that to me I would be offended.

First off, if you knew your friend was going through hard times wouldn''t you make an effort to make it affordable for her? Shouldn''t friendship take precedence over a ''perfect bridal party''?

I know weddings are very expensive (heck, this is why I eloped). I am extremely honored to be in the wedding and do NOT want to say anything to offend. I would never say anything to her, it''s her wedding. If it were a friend (though all my friend''s bridal parties I''ve been in the dresses were less than $175), I would decline. However, this is my only brother''s wedding and I will be standing up, even though the expenses are going on a credit card. I''m just trying to minimize the costs.

For some people, myself included, $300 can make or break a monthly budget. I''m working hard to make a better life for myself and my husband (I just got my MS degree) but life happens!

Thank you again KatyWI. The dress won''t be quite as high as you are thinking, thankfully (though I''m sure it will need alterations, I''m short!).

And tyty333, I like that idea! I know of at least two other bridesmaids who will like to go along with that!

I think ordering online is fine, I said that above.

Usually the dresses and be ordered in payments so that it breaks down the cost so you don''t have to pay in full and send you over your montly budget.

I would not get other bridesmaids together and "gang" up on the bride, and ask for her to pay the difference, that is just rude.

To answer your question as a current bride, yes, I tried to make things affordable for the girls within reason.

Who said anything about the perfect bridal party??

 

[JSM]

Author: emeraldlover1

Date: 8/31/2009 11:22:35 AM


I think ordering online is fine, I said that above.


Usually the dresses and be ordered in payments so that it breaks down the cost so you don't have to pay in full and send you over your montly budget.


I would not get other bridesmaids together and 'gang' up on the bride, and ask for her to pay the difference, that is just rude.


To answer your question as a current bride, yes, I tried to make things affordable for the girls within reason.


Who said anything about the perfect bridal party??

I apologize for any misunderstanding, I do not intend to 'gang up' on the bride. I merely meant that I know of other bridesmaids would love to hear about a less expensive option. Perhaps if more of us gently approach her about a less expensive option, for the same dress, she will be open to hear it!

If I were to order the dress through the boutique, I would have to pay half the dress costs plus shipping upfront. Frankly, I can't afford to pay that in cash at this time (before you ask, yes I have the internet but it is needed for my job, and we have pared down our expenses otherwise).

I am glad you tried to make things affordable within reason.

I appreciate your opinion and promise I have 1) not said a word to the bride and 2) do not intend to force her to change her mind about her wedding plans.

Edited: I don't mean to start anything, that was never my intention, I'm just trying to save some money, that's all.

 

[emeraldlover1]

Date: 8/31/2009 1:32:52 PM
Author: jsm

Author: emeraldlover1

Date: 8/31/2009 11:22:35 AM


I think ordering online is fine, I said that above.


Usually the dresses and be ordered in payments so that it breaks down the cost so you don''t have to pay in full and send you over your montly budget.


I would not get other bridesmaids together and ''gang'' up on the bride, and ask for her to pay the difference, that is just rude.


To answer your question as a current bride, yes, I tried to make things affordable for the girls within reason.


Who said anything about the perfect bridal party??

I apologize for any misunderstanding, I do not intend to ''gang up'' on the bride. I merely meant that I know of other bridesmaids would love to hear about a less expensive option. Perhaps if more of us gently approach her about a less expensive option, for the same dress, she will be open to hear it!

If I were to order the dress through the boutique, I would have to pay half the dress costs plus shipping upfront. Frankly, I can''t afford to pay that in cash at this time (before you ask, yes I have the internet but it is needed for my job, and we have pared down our expenses otherwise).

I am glad you tried to make things affordable within reason. But that fact that you added that caveat implies that your vision will ultimately come first. Which is fine, as it is your wedding and your choice, but not one I would have made should I have chosen to have a traditional wedding and a bridal party.

I appreciate your opinion and promise I have 1) not said a word to the bride and 2) do not intend to force her to change her mind about her wedding plans.

Just wanted to clarify something here...this is not about me or you and our wedding choice options, its about the bride. The caveat is because there is an expense associated with the wedding and I can''t change that unless I pay for everything but this situation isn''t about me. You can never please everyone. I see this come up so many times and its always the same discussion.

I''ll give you an example from my own wedding since you are relating the above... I have a bridesmaid that wanted to wear gold shoes because she already had them. I told the girls they could wear black, silver, purple, white...is that not enough options? To me her request is not within reason. And yeah, that would compromise my vision, its my wedding.

 

[JSM]

Date: 8/31/2009 1:47:57 PM
Author: emeraldlover1

Date: 8/31/2009 1:32:52 PM

Author: jsm


Author: emeraldlover1

Date: 8/31/2009 11:22:35 AM



I think ordering online is fine, I said that above.



Usually the dresses and be ordered in payments so that it breaks down the cost so you don''t have to pay in full and send you over your montly budget.



I would not get other bridesmaids together and ''gang'' up on the bride, and ask for her to pay the difference, that is just rude.



To answer your question as a current bride, yes, I tried to make things affordable for the girls within reason.



Who said anything about the perfect bridal party??

I apologize for any misunderstanding, I do not intend to ''gang up'' on the bride. I merely meant that I know of other bridesmaids would love to hear about a less expensive option. Perhaps if more of us gently approach her about a less expensive option, for the same dress, she will be open to hear it!


If I were to order the dress through the boutique, I would have to pay half the dress costs plus shipping upfront. Frankly, I can''t afford to pay that in cash at this time (before you ask, yes I have the internet but it is needed for my job, and we have pared down our expenses otherwise).


I am glad you tried to make things affordable within reason. But that fact that you added that caveat implies that your vision will ultimately come first. Which is fine, as it is your wedding and your choice, but not one I would have made should I have chosen to have a traditional wedding and a bridal party.


I appreciate your opinion and promise I have 1) not said a word to the bride and 2) do not intend to force her to change her mind about her wedding plans.

Just wanted to clarify something here...this is not about me or you and our wedding choice options, its about the bride. The caveat is because there is an expense associated with the wedding and I can''t change that unless I pay for everything but this situation isn''t about me. You can never please everyone. I see this come up so many times and its always the same discussion.


I''ll give you an example from my own wedding since you are relating the above... I have a bridesmaid that wanted to wear gold shoes because she already had them. I told the girls they could wear black, silver, purple, white...is that not enough options? To me her request is not within reason. And yeah, that would compromise my vision, its my wedding.

I had edited my previous reply because I didn''t want to banter back and forth. But giving your bridesmaids four colors of shoe choices is more than reasonable, IMO.

 

[charbie]

after reading some of the comments, i had a comment i wanted to make.

when i asked my girls to be in the wedding, i had no idea what kind of dress i would be picking out as a BM dress. in fact, no wedding ive been involved with has the bride given any indication what the dress would cost before asking.

sure, you are agreeing to pay what the cost of the dress is plus all other wedding related costs, but most sane people would never assume that their friend/FSIL/whomever is going to ask them to shell out $300 for a dress. at least not where i''m from, and if they did, i''m sorry but i would have to say something and have NO issue what-so-ever if one of the girls found the dress online or at a sale...props to her! i WOULD and HAVE most definitely taken their budgets into consideration and would NEVER have expected anyone to pay that much for a dress. dream wedding or not, unless you are from a super high class area, i only think it is fair/proper to be reasonable with the dress cost. once you factor in gifts, travelling for showers, bachelorette party, shoes, make-up, hair, etc...well that''s too much for my budget, even if it were my best friend. shoot- one of my friends ordered us dresses that ended up being $200 and she felt so bad she gave us each $50 back to buy our shoes.

i just felt like i wanted to say something on this topic. jsm- you have every right to feel how you do, and i think getting the dress at a lower cost online should be appreciated by her- instead of stepping down and leaving her without a bridesmaid (which is another can of worms all together) you have found a way to still be a part of their day without compromising your budget.

 

[JSM]

Date: 8/31/2009 2:05:38 PM
Author: charbie
after reading some of the comments, i had a comment i wanted to make.


when i asked my girls to be in the wedding, i had no idea what kind of dress i would be picking out as a BM dress. in fact, no wedding ive been involved with has the bride given any indication what the dress would cost before asking.


sure, you are agreeing to pay what the cost of the dress is plus all other wedding related costs, but most sane people would never assume that their friend/FSIL/whomever is going to ask them to shell out $300 for a dress. at least not where i'm from, and if they did, i'm sorry but i would have to say something and have NO issue what-so-ever if one of the girls found the dress online or at a sale...props to her! i WOULD and HAVE most definitely taken their budgets into consideration and would NEVER have expected anyone to pay that much for a dress. dream wedding or not, unless you are from a super high class area, i only think it is fair/proper to be reasonable with the dress cost. once you factor in gifts, travelling for showers, bachelorette party, shoes, make-up, hair, etc...well that's too much for my budget, even if it were my best friend. shoot- one of my friends ordered us dresses that ended up being $200 and she felt so bad she gave us each $50 back to buy our shoes.


i just felt like i wanted to say something on this topic. jsm- you have every right to feel how you do, and i think getting the dress at a lower cost online should be appreciated by her- instead of stepping down and leaving her without a bridesmaid (which is another can of worms all together) you have found a way to still be a part of their day without compromising your budget.

Thanks so much for your input. Truly I am embarrassed by this whole thing. I hate the fact that I have to worry so much about money that travel and bridal party expenses to my brother and future sister's wedding are (or will be) hardships. I didn't want to garner this much attention, I just wanted to get the dress designer.

Your friend sounds like an awesome bride!

I am sure things will turn out fine, and thank you to everyone for your input.