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Help! I am Santa Claus to an 8 year old. $$

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therighttime

Shiny_Rock
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Feb 20, 2006
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224
Hi,
I usually hang out on the LIW forum, but thought I''d post this here to see if any other mom''s had some advice. My son is 8 years old and I bet this will be his last Christmas believing in Santa. He has already asked all the questions about reindeer flying, how santa does it all in one night, etc... He''s my only child so I only get to be Santa for another year to him. Gosh how time flies.

Anyway, he is asking for some major high dollar items from Santa! This really is the first year he has done that. In the past, he would have maybe one big item then lots of TOYS.. action figures, etc. It seems this year that all he wants is video games, game systems, and a trampoline! There is NO way Santa can afford all he is asking for. I''m a single mom on a very limited income although I work two jobs. I usually get him one present under the tree from ME as well. Any time I have mentioned to him that all that he is asking for costs a lot, he just looks at me like I''m crazy and tells me, "MOM it''s from SANTA.. he MAKES it!" How do I argue with that? Also, he is old enough now to compare and he knows what his friends and cousins get. How do I explain to him why he got less!!! I''m afraid he will think he hasn''t been "good."

Have any of you dealt with limited funds at Christmas? It''s one thing for him to not get as much at a birthday, but when the SAME SANTA drops off a ton of gifts at his friends and not much as his house, then that is hard!
Thanks for any help
 

Ellen

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 13, 2006
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24,426
lol Been there. I told mine, just because Santa COULD give them everything (because he makes them), that didn''t mean they SHOULD get everything they want. I was honest, I told them that made for spoiled kids. And my kids knew I wasn''t having spoiled children.

Seemed to be enough for mine. Good luck!
 

ephemery1

Brilliant_Rock
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Mar 20, 2006
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1,724
Awww, bittersweet and frustrating all at the same time!!
Can you maybe talk to him about how Santa has a lot of toys to make for a lot of kids, and we need to be careful not to ask for too much, or else there won''t be enough for the other kids all around the world? Maybe suggest he pick one "big" (aka, expensive) thing and then some smaller things to go with it... appeal to his sense of fairness, I guess....
Although explaining why his friends/cousins got more is still tricky... maybe that would be a good place for Ellen''s "spoiled" argument!
 

mrssalvo

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 3, 2005
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19,132
I guess I''d take his list and break it down into small groups. Then tell him to circle or choose his favorite or most desired out of each group. Tell him santa does make all the toys but there are a bunch of children he''s making toys for and there has to be enough to go around or something. Hopefully he''ll understand that. I''m pretty impressed you made it 8 years w/out him figuring it out or at least having friends at school "enlighten" him.
 

therighttime

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Feb 20, 2006
Messages
224
Thanks for the ideas! The list is a good idea, and having him pick a few favorites! He does understand "fairness" so maybe explaining that Santa has so many kids around will help. He''s already asked me why people need to give to Toys for Tots when Santa will bring the kids toys.

I''m surprised he has made it until 8 years old not figuring out Santa, too. Although, when I was a kid and figured it out, I still kept quiet and didn''t tell my parents for fear I''d not get much for Christmas!!!
 

Christa

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Aug 15, 2006
Messages
613
Is that him in your avatar? Ceee-yute! I have an 8-year-old Little Leaguer myself and I''d be willing to bet that yours does kind of know, even if he''s not admitting it yet. They''re smarter than we think, sometimes. At 8 I think it''s time to start breaking it to him gently--maybe saying that you''re helping Santa out this year or something? Good luck!
 

Christa

Brilliant_Rock
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Date: 11/22/2006 10:43:36 PM
Author: therighttime
Thanks for the ideas! The list is a good idea, and having him pick a few favorites! He does understand ''fairness'' so maybe explaining that Santa has so many kids around will help. He''s already asked me why people need to give to Toys for Tots when Santa will bring the kids toys.

I''m surprised he has made it until 8 years old not figuring out Santa, too. Although, when I was a kid and figured it out, I still kept quiet and didn''t tell my parents for fear I''d not get much for Christmas!!!
Exactly what I''m saying! I went right by this the first time I read through.
 

swingirl

Ideal_Rock
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Apr 6, 2006
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5,654
You''ve got him believing Toy for Tots are gists from Santa and not donated by regular people? Hasn''t he ever donated something in a school toy collection program? Our kids did that in elementarty school every Christmas.

I just assumed most people told their kids there is one gift from Santa and the rest are from your family. And since Santa comes on a sleigh he can''t bring big giant things. By the time a kids starts using a logical arguement like Santa makes everything, he already knows better.

I don''t think any 8 year old believes Santa makes TVs, videos games, PlayStations and computers. He''s seen TV commercials. He knows those are made by companies like Sony and Apple. My guess is he''s milkin'' it!! These little guys are as cute as can be but very smart!
 

swingirl

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 6, 2006
Messages
5,654
And as far the expensive gift thing goes, I always told my kids everybody gets to spend their money the way they choose. Some people spend a lot on toys or cars or vacations or whatever. We chose to spend some money on toys, some on food, some on vacations, some on education, and then we save some. So it''s not that we can''t afford an expensive item, we just choose to use our money for something else. Kids don''t need to know what you can and can''t afford all the time. If you tell them you can''t afford things they feel like they are missing something.

For the Christmas list, tell him up front he can put things in order of what he wants the most but he won''t get everything. And if he compares himself to a friend, nip that in the bud. But do include cheap toys that YOU like that are not on you son''s list. These often were my kids'' favorite gifts because they weren''t anticipated. I still got my kids books, puzzles, games, and silly stuff even when they didn''t ask for them. It filled up the tree space! This year my teenagers will still get gum, underware, personal hygiene products, blank CDs, etc. If you start buying $500 Christmas presents now what will you work up to a few years??
 

Allisonfaye

Brilliant_Rock
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Oct 18, 2004
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1,455
Date: 11/22/2006 4:53:50 PM
Author: Ellen
lol Been there. I told mine, just because Santa COULD give them everything (because he makes them), that didn''t mean they SHOULD get everything they want. I was honest, I told them that made for spoiled kids. And my kids knew I wasn''t having spoiled children.

Seemed to be enough for mine. Good luck!
I think this is excellent advice.

I think you sound like a fantastic mother. Don''t feel guilty because you can''t afford these things. Remember, your time with him is much more important and I can assure you, this is what he will remember when he is all grown up.

My parents didn''t go overboard on Christmas but my grandparents generally did. What do I remember now? That my parents didn''t spend a lot of time with us and my grandparents did.
 

therighttime

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Feb 20, 2006
Messages
224
Thanks everyone for the responses! And yes, that''s him in my avatar! He won''t admit he doesn''t believe in Santa anymore, but with all the questions I''m guessing he is figuring it out. He told me the class asked their teacher if there was a Santa, and she turned it around and asked them what they thought. Guess she sure didn''t want to be the one to spill the beans.

As for Toys for Tots, NO he does not think Santa brings them or donates them. In the past, he just wondered why the children needed those donated from people when Santa would be bringing toys for the kids. I work with developmentally delayed 0-3 year old children, a lot from very poor homes, so he knows all about those less fortunate. He comes to our Christmas party every year for them and helps out. He also gives his toys he out grows to these kids. We go every year and put together a shoe box for the shoe box ministry at church, too.

He is not spoiled at all which is why I wonder where this millionaire''s child list is coming from!!! I''m a single mom and we don''t have much extra for spoiling with material things. His dad is good to him, and has plenty of money, but never ever goes overboard on any thing. AT all! My mom, however, spoils him rotten anytime she sees him. But I guess that is what grandparents are for?? She helps me out though if he needs new shoes or something, she will see they are wearing out and buy him brand new ones. I felt horrible because he qualified for reduced lunch at school, and the day I returned the paper, he was wearing brand new nike tennis shoes, provided by grandmother of course! He made the all-star team, and understood that at the time we just couldn''t afford it. He was OK with that, so he''s a tough kid. BUT my boyfriend ended up asking if he could pay for it. :) Anyway, so he knows all about saving money for a toy, or not being able to afford something. I just didn''t know how to explain how SANTA couldn''t afford something and why santa brought some kids tons, but wouldn''t be bringing my kid that much!!! I assumed this would be the last year he believed in santa, if he still did, and wanted it to be special. My dad, mom, and his dad all buy for him, so he will be getting PLENTY of things... it''s just the santa part that has me worried since *I* am santa. Part of me wants him to admit to knowing the truth at this point so it will be easier. But another part of me wants him to be little forever and believe in Santa.

I think telling him to list the things in order is a great idea!! I''m going to try that today and see how that goes. I think I''m also going to talk to his dad and see if some of his gifts there can be from Santa, instead of all from dad.

thanks again
 

MINE!!

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 25, 2005
Messages
3,287
My 11 year old still believes in Santa... I always tell her that Santa Clause is real and that I beleive in him. But I admit that I was feeling guilty that she was hearing that Santa was not real from her classmates and defending her mother (whom she thinks hung the moon)

So one night I took her to the grocery store and I took the long way home. I told her "baby, I know that your freinds do not believe in Santa. When I was 10 I started to think there was not a Santa too... And that was OKAY.. as you get older, you will stop beleiving in Santa too... and that is OK... and you will belive that Santa is not real, and for you, he will not be real anymore. AND that is ok... but Santa will not care about that. I stopped beleiving in SAnta too, and that was alright. Eventaully, I will be the ones buying you presents cause you will no longer beleive in Santa, and that is OK. A lot of adults do not beleive in Santa either. but one day, when you have a child, you will realize that you have been wrong and Santa really does exsist. And he will exsist for you again. When you were born, that Christmas, Santa was real again, and that is why I will always beleive in Santa now. And one day, after you think that it is impossible for him to exsist, you will look into your firstborns eyes and realize the impossible is definitely possible and then Santa will be real again." She cried so hard and she said that she had been doubting him a little and she felt kinda bad, I cried too and told her that it was ALRIGHT and every person in the world stopped beliving in him at some time. I told her that it is the price we pay for growing up, but one day, we realize that some things cannot be explained away by logic, and that is what Santa is not, logical.

She said she understood. I saw her innocence slip away a little more, and it broke my heart.
 

movie zombie

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 20, 2005
Messages
11,879
Mine, you are a poet......

movie zombie
 

eks6426

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 19, 2004
Messages
2,011
My son is a year older than yours--9 going on 16. This year''s list contains nothing under $100. Let''s see...he wants the new game systems--Playstation 3 or Wii. A Gameboy DS and an IPOD. Not to mention some very expensive robotic type toys. I''ve asked him to look through the ads and find at least 10 things that are under $100. Then he picks games for those new game systems ;-) And I thought 8 was bad.....

Then my 17 year old bonus son wants spinner rims for his car...they would require new tires too. Package deal....$2500+. I guess it doesn''t get any easier.

Instead we decided to plan a trip to Mexico during summer break. We do eco touring...huts with no electricity etc. Each kid will be getting snorkle gear and a note about the vacation.

I''m still struggling with the Santa present issue myself. The 9 year old is still milking it. It is especially hard when his cousins who will be there with us at Grandma''s house get an average of $1000 each worth of presents. Our budget is $150 total including the snorkle gear which is about $50. So, how do I make $100 look like something? Is it better to stretch and get something big on the list (Gameboy DS or IPOD shuffle maybe?) or surprise him with little gifts he would probably like but didn''t ask for?
 

Christa

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Aug 15, 2006
Messages
613
Date: 11/27/2006 8:35:44 AM
Author: IslandDreams
My son is a year older than yours--9 going on 16. This year''s list contains nothing under $100. Let''s see...he wants the new game systems--Playstation 3 or Wii. A Gameboy DS and an IPOD. Not to mention some very expensive robotic type toys. I''ve asked him to look through the ads and find at least 10 things that are under $100. Then he picks games for those new game systems ;-) And I thought 8 was bad.....

Then my 17 year old bonus son wants spinner rims for his car...they would require new tires too. Package deal....$2500+. I guess it doesn''t get any easier.

Instead we decided to plan a trip to Mexico during summer break. We do eco touring...huts with no electricity etc. Each kid will be getting snorkle gear and a note about the vacation.

I''m still struggling with the Santa present issue myself. The 9 year old is still milking it. It is especially hard when his cousins who will be there with us at Grandma''s house get an average of $1000 each worth of presents. Our budget is $150 total including the snorkle gear which is about $50. So, how do I make $100 look like something? Is it better to stretch and get something big on the list (Gameboy DS or IPOD shuffle maybe?) or surprise him with little gifts he would probably like but didn''t ask for?
I vote stick to your budget and get him little things he didn''t ask for but you know he''ll like. My kids are 8, 11 and 14 and I consider their wishlists to be information and ideas--not order forms! I think it''s important for them to learn gratitude rather than entitlement, and the Law of Diminishing Returns dictates that the more they have, the less they enjoy. Our Christmases are very modest compared to their friends'', but they enjoy and appreciate what they get.

If we had been over the top in the past and decided to scale back, that would definitely make it more difficult, and I''d prepare them ahead of time rather than let them be shocked and disappointed on Christmas morning.
 

firebirdgold

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 30, 2005
Messages
2,216
Even though, as a kid, I really knew that the unwrapped presents were not really from Santa Claus, I still pretended. It was a precious part of Christmas to put out cookies and milk. We also put out carrots and a bucket of water for the reindeer... my poor parents had to eat carrots and slop around water just to make it look real!
I can't remember how long that lasted but it was at least 10, which means my sister still had Santa when she was 15!
Our Santa toys tended to be dolls, stuffed animals, toys that weren't action figures, books, bikes, etc. I guess things that Santa could have made... although the books were streching it a bit!


Wether he belives in Santa or not, he certainly knows Santa doesn't make Nintendo!! He's so seriously milking it! Besides, too many video games are bad for kids... so says the non-mom who pre-ordered the Wii for herself!
 
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