HELP! Elaborate Upsacale Movie Style Unique Proposal?!?

[WallaWalla3]

Ok. So, I think I've read every post in this forum and am still drawing a blank. I've read about celebrity proposals, best proposals online and everything in between. I've even contacted a proposal planner. And nothing seems to work. I've got about a month to plan something unique and amazing; and I'm back to square one. To make matters worse her three friends have gotten engaged in amazing elaborate fashions in the last year; one in a private helicopter in NYC, one where the boyfriend rented out an entire restaurant!, and one on TV.

What I do know is this. She wants a more semi-public proposal or proposal with a public element (read "fanfare") in it, so something at home is not going to cut it. She would also not likely be happy with something cliche: at dinner at a restaurant, landmark, art museum, monument, anything involving nature, a picnic, scavenger hunt, horse-drawn carriage, etc. We are near a downtown area with many possible venues, etc. But no beach.

She knows its coming, so trickery is going to be difficult. I really want to do something unique and shocking. I wouldn't also mind something with a little humor in it. SURPRISE is key. I'm willing to spend whatever amount is necessary. What I do know is I plan on hiring a photographer. And renting out a large suite at a hotel, limo, champagne, etc. for after the proposal. So that is taken care of. But, I don't want to propose in a hotel room. I KNOW going to dinner somewhere and then saying "I got us a hotel room" just isn't going to be shocking enough. It has to be really good.

The proposal ideas I've liked are where the groom rents out a billboard and it is unveiled unsuspectingly in front of the bride (not feasible based on timing and $$), the Sweet Home Alabama proposal where he takes her to Tiffanys (she would die for this), and Serendipity where he has her unwrap larger to smaller boxes (although this was at home and is now kind of cliche).

My only ideas as of right now are to rent a rooftop at a local hotel and have it decorated with flowers, candles, etc. Take her out somewhere and then disappear and change into a tux. But I haven't got a clue how to get her up there unsuspecting. The second someone tells her to go to the roof, she'll know. I could try to enlist one of her friends to assist, but am convinced they'll blab. Plus, I'm not that set on this type of proposal; it just doesn't seem shocking enough. I was debating the idea of just having a limo show up to her door, tell her to pack and bag, and take her to me somewhere. But again, not a true shocking surprise for that actual moment.

I would love to do a destination proposal. But the second we get to an airport; again, she'll know. There's a chance i can convince her boss to send her to NYC for work and I'll do it there, but it will be dicey and she'll likely know. I was thinking of flying out there and flying her parents there to. But again that leaves me with the where? Plus then I'll be at the mercy of not being in my hometown to make all the arrangements, view the site, etc.

Her interests are difficult to work with; shopping, fine dining, clothes, makeup. She's definitely a "high-society" type of girl. And she's like a detective. Anything amiss and she'll know.

I'm open to ANY suggestions. What are the most elaborate movie style proposals that I may be able to pull off? What are the best proposal ideas you've seen that would work in this situation? HELP!

 

[slg47]

if you say she would die for the Tiffany's proposal...then why not do it?

ETA you could take her shopping, tell her she can pick out anything because you are taking her out to a nice dinner, take her somewhere nice and get a personal shopper to help out, then arrange for her to get hair/makeup done, present her with the ring at the restaurant? (although you said that wouldn't work...you could present it at the store? just trying to think of ideas...

 

[WallaWalla3]

Well, I couldn't do Tiffany because the ring won't be from there. But some store that I could lure her into might work. I just can't figure out what? Something that would be meaningful or memorable? Assuming I already have a ring, I can't really take her to a jewelery store and tell her to pick one out? I don't think she really wants to be proposed to, for example, at Saks while she is trying on dresses?

If I take her somewhere shopping and tell her to pickout whatever she wants and get her hair, makeup, nails done, etc. She'll immediately know something is up. I want the actual proposal itself to be a complete surprise/shock. I have no problem setting up the shopping for a dress, spa, nails, etc. after the proposal. But that kind of defeats the purpose? I think I'm willing to compromise on her looking perfect for the actual surprise factor. We can always do an engagement photo shoot later.

Maybe I need a completely different idea? Anyone?

 

[E B]

Do you already have the ring?

 

[WallaWalla3]

I am finalizing the ring now. But it will be ready in 3-4 weeks.

 

[E B]

How about renting a space, gather a bunch of her friends and family together in said space, hire a caterer and have an engagement party at which you propose as soon as you walk through the door?

If she knows something's coming, she's likely going to suspect *anything* out of the ordinary, but there's only so much you can do, you know?

 

[Selkie]

I am sorry that I don't have a specific suggestion about your proposal logistics, because you seem to be boxed into a very small corner by all those requirements, and there are very, very, very few absolutely original proposal ideas out there. I personally think that the Hollywood style proposal is overrated and puts far too much pressure on everyone involved. I do want to say though, that at a certain point, if you are trying to do an elaborate proposal, she IS going to know something is up. You can't control that, but at that point it becomes about what you say and the emotion of the moment. It doesn't need to be shocking-that's not the only thing that can make a proposal memorable. So what if she figures out its coming before the actual moment? She still has the build up of excitement until the actual moment. It does need to be personal, and meaningful. Don't try to one-up the helicopter and the live-TV proposal. Just do what tells her you are thinking of her and not the audience. Work with the lack of surprise, by doing a string of things (massage, spa day, dinner, shopping, whatever) to pamper her, and build up the tension as she wonders "Is it happening now?" And when it doesn't, you two go on to the next thing, and the cycle starts over.

The next best thing I can think of is to be utterly spontaneous about it. Surprise YOURSELF. Keep that ring in your pocket, until one day (not too long after you get it ), you're walking the dog with her, or doing the laundry, or having breakfast at your favorite diner, and the mood strikes you, and you tell her you MEANT to have the huge elaborate proposal, but you just can't wait until then. You need to know NOW if she'll be your wife.

 

[swimmer]

Ditto Selkie.
whoa, there are proposal planners?

Where did you first tell her you loved her? Best meal together? The moment you knew you would be together forever? Where do you want to live together in the future? I donno... Can you recreate one of those amazing moments? Or print out and string together a lot of photos of the two of you and your journey together...but not in nature I guess...I saw that at a wedding and it was so romantic and clearly a labor of love.

Where do you live? chartering a boat? (some other mode of transport that is non-cliche -the horse drawn carriage seems cliche and good chance that it is smelly) a train? now just getting silly, but if you brainstorm on paper, something might come up.

Does she know that you are stressing about this so much? Hopefully it isn't taking the joy out of it for you.

 

[somethingshiny]

Okay, I'll be the one to say it.

She sounds really hard to please. I've never known anyone (even on a crazy diamond forum) to have so many requirements for a proposal. I think you need to give yourself some more time to get something put together.

I'm trying to come up with ideas to help you here, some of them may be entirely inappropriate or unfeasible.

Write a song for her and sing it (or sing her favorite love song) somewhere publicly. Perhaps outside a beautiful fountain where you have rented some sound equipment.

Go to a venue where there is a live performance and bribe them into allowing you on stage or hinting at the proposal for you.

If money is no object, find her favorite singer and hire for a private limited performance in which her friends are invited too.

Hire an artist to paint a mural with your proposal. I don't know where this could be done, just going off the billboard idea.

Do it somewhere "cliche" but with more than a ring. Something for "my best friend," "my wife," "the mother of my children," and "the one I want to grow old with." These could be as sentimental or as humorous as you choose.

Would she appreciate a proposal in a religious setting?

You should write something (and memorize) amazing to say for the proposal. Not just a simple "Will you marry me?" Although you should definitely have that line in it.

Good luck!

 

[urseberry]

A friend of mine hired a production company to build a "set" for his proposal. The girl is a big fan of Alice in Wonderland, so the production company recreated the tea party scene in a hotel conference room. He also ordered custom made Alice and Mad Hatter costumes for them to wear, as well as custom costumes for all her stuffed animals to make them look like Alice in Wonderland characters.

 

[decodelighted]

How much you wanna bet those fairy tale proposal folks are divorced within 5 years. I just don't get it. Its showy one-ups-manship ... and to be at a level of maturity where you're EXPECTING that kind of spectacle? Good luck! Not with the proposal ... with the marriage.

 

[slg47]

yeah isn't the point that you're going to be spending the rest of your lives together> and she should be happy as long as it is sincere, heartfelt, and from the man she loves??

anyway...maybe ask the proposal planner for help? that's why you hired one, right...

 

[boredstiff]

Have her boss call her into work on a weekend for an emergency; then tell the boss to send her to another place to run an errand; meanwhile gather all her friends and family at the place she's been told to go to (fly them out by private jet, if necessary) and have them each riding a camel (this is important). Make you sure rent (or buy?) enough sand to cover the floors -- it may be a few hundred pounds at least; and if indoors, get enough lighting to simulate the desert sun. Construct an oasis using authentic palms and other fora and fauna. Then when she runs into the room, she will be all surprised, which is when you ride out on your elephant and disembark. Then, you say a speech that lasts at least 10 minutes, while on your knees and then present a 10 carat diamond ring.

 

[steph72276]

Okay, I think I might have an idea for you. So either do a pampering day with the spa/pick out a dress/meet you for a nice dinner or do a trip somewhere. Then, just when she's expecting it, you pull out a jewelry box and tell her you have a gift for her because she means the world to you. You open it....and it's earrrings! She'll be totally thrown off track and probably a little disappointed because she thinks it's the ring. You go on to tell her how much you love her, etc. and then tell her you would love for her to wear those earrings at your wedding...at which point you pull out the real ring box, propose and then possibly have her family/friends there to celebrate with a party.

Now someone tell me how you sign up to be a proposal planner

 

[hoofbeats95]

I have to admit that this post shocks me. NEVER in a million years would I ever dictate how my future husband should propose to me. NEVER! Hinting for a certain ring, or being part of that entire process is one thing. But suggesting that he one-up all of my friends. . . suggesting that some proposals aren't good enough. . . I'm sorry that's over the top. My question is - is the proposal about the two of you and your love for each other, or is it about the show? Does she just want to be the center of attention? Does she want her friends to be jealous? Does she just want to brag about what you did? I honestly don't get it. It should be about your love for each other, the fact that you are asking her to spend the rest of her life with her. . . not about show. I'm afraid for what she might expect in the future. Good luck. I honestly hope you can live up to her expectations.

 

[WallaWalla3]

What a bunch of haters! Did you people even read the post? Nowhere in it did I say she demanded or EXPECTED the proposal had to be done a certain way. Or that it had to beat her friends? Or, that a certain proposal wasn't good enough?

You should all be ashamed. I am sure she would be happy with however I chose to propose. I simply said I know her, and know that her dream proposal wouldn't be something cliched or done a million times. It's me, however, that wants to give her a fairytail proposal because I think she deserves it. If I have the ability to make someone happy for just one day that is going to make me happy for the rest of my life - then I'm going to go out of my way to do it. Anyone who can't get that, has some of their own insecurity problems.

For everyone who jumped to conclusions and didn't even bother to get the facts right, like stating I already hired a proposal planner? Thanks, but the forum is "Proposal Ideas" NOT "Anonymous Couples Counseling". Next time expend your energy actually writing something useful. At this point, I'm going to just go at this one alone.

For those of you who actually provided GREAT feedback and ideas. I really do appreciate it. You're good people.

 

[slg47]

my apologies, you only said you contacted a proposal planner, not that you hired one.

 

[decodelighted]

You might wanna read your OWN post. You're the one making her out to be some kind of diva princess who wouldn't be satisfied with anything that other *plebes* (like us?) get...

She wants a more semi-public proposal or proposal with a public element (read "fanfare") in it, so something at home is not going to cut it. She would also not likely be happy with something cliche: at dinner at a restaurant, landmark, art museum, monument, anything involving nature, a picnic, scavenger hunt, horse-drawn carriage, etc.
Her interests are difficult to work with; shopping, fine dining, clothes, makeup. She's definitely a "high-society" type of girl. And she's like a detective. Anything amiss and she'll know.

Haters? How OLD ARE YOU?

 

[FuturePsyD]

Okay, I'll be the one to say it.

She sounds really hard to please. I've never known anyone (even on a crazy diamond forum) to have so many requirements for a proposal. I think you need to give yourself some more time to get something put together.

I'm trying to come up with ideas to help you here, some of them may be entirely inappropriate or unfeasible.

Write a song for her and sing it (or sing her favorite love song) somewhere publicly. Perhaps outside a beautiful fountain where you have rented some sound equipment.

Go to a venue where there is a live performance and bribe them into allowing you on stage or hinting at the proposal for you.

If money is no object, find her favorite singer and hire for a private limited performance in which her friends are invited too.

Hire an artist to paint a mural with your proposal. I don't know where this could be done, just going off the billboard idea.

Do it somewhere "cliche" but with more than a ring. Something for "my best friend," "my wife," "the mother of my children," and "the one I want to grow old with." These could be as sentimental or as humorous as you choose.

Would she appreciate a proposal in a religious setting?

You should write something (and memorize) amazing to say for the proposal. Not just a simple "Will you marry me?" Although you should definitely have that line in it.

Good luck!

Thank goodness someone pointed this out.

I thought I was picky about my proposal-to-be, the list of what she DOESN'T want in a proposal pretty much rules out um......EVERYTHING?

 

[hoofbeats95]

I'm not a hater. I'm a realist. I agree with the person above. READ your post! You made her up to be quite the diva. You specifically said some types of proposal "are not going to cut it". What does that mean? I mean really. If she doesn't like the way you do it is she going to say no? Is she going to complain about it later? Is she going to complain to her friends about how it wasn't good enough for her? I mean that's superficial. And honestly that how you made her out to sound.

 

[LaurenThePartier]

Ok. So, I think I've read every post in this forum and am still drawing a blank. I've read about celebrity proposals, best proposals online and everything in between. I've even contacted a proposal planner. And nothing seems to work. I've got about a month to plan something unique and amazing; and I'm back to square one. To make matters worse her three friends have gotten engaged in amazing elaborate fashions in the last year; one in a private helicopter in NYC, one where the boyfriend rented out an entire restaurant!, and one on TV.

What I do know is this. She wants a more semi-public proposal or proposal with a public element (read "fanfare") in it, so something at home is not going to cut it. She would also not likely be happy with something cliche: at dinner at a restaurant, landmark, art museum, monument, anything involving nature, a picnic, scavenger hunt, horse-drawn carriage, etc. We are near a downtown area with many possible venues, etc. But no beach.

She knows its coming, so trickery is going to be difficult. I really want to do something unique and shocking. I wouldn't also mind something with a little humor in it. SURPRISE is key. I'm willing to spend whatever amount is necessary. What I do know is I plan on hiring a photographer. And renting out a large suite at a hotel, limo, champagne, etc. for after the proposal. So that is taken care of. But, I don't want to propose in a hotel room. I KNOW going to dinner somewhere and then saying "I got us a hotel room" just isn't going to be shocking enough. It has to be really good.

The proposal ideas I've liked are where the groom rents out a billboard and it is unveiled unsuspectingly in front of the bride (not feasible based on timing and $$), the Sweet Home Alabama proposal where he takes her to Tiffanys (she would die for this), and Serendipity where he has her unwrap larger to smaller boxes (although this was at home and is now kind of cliche).

My only ideas as of right now are to rent a rooftop at a local hotel and have it decorated with flowers, candles, etc. Take her out somewhere and then disappear and change into a tux. But I haven't got a clue how to get her up there unsuspecting. The second someone tells her to go to the roof, she'll know. I could try to enlist one of her friends to assist, but am convinced they'll blab. Plus, I'm not that set on this type of proposal; it just doesn't seem shocking enough. I was debating the idea of just having a limo show up to her door, tell her to pack and bag, and take her to me somewhere. But again, not a true shocking surprise for that actual moment.

I would love to do a destination proposal. But the second we get to an airport; again, she'll know. There's a chance i can convince her boss to send her to NYC for work and I'll do it there, but it will be dicey and she'll likely know. I was thinking of flying out there and flying her parents there to. But again that leaves me with the where? Plus then I'll be at the mercy of not being in my hometown to make all the arrangements, view the site, etc.

Her interests are difficult to work with; shopping, fine dining, clothes, makeup. She's definitely a "high-society" type of girl. And she's like a detective. Anything amiss and she'll know.

I'm open to ANY suggestions. What are the most elaborate movie style proposals that I may be able to pull off? What are the best proposal ideas you've seen that would work in this situation? HELP!

I know your feelings are hurt by some of the replies, but please try to separate yourself for a moment and put yourself in our shoes, and LOOK at what you posted. You are posting as if YOU'RE the one with the "Princess" complex and now you think that it's totally ok (and even expected) for your GF to not be satisfied with a beautiful at-home proposal simply because of the OTT proposals of her friends. I've seen so many men stress over proposals over the years I've been here, and with friends I've helped purchase an e-ring for, and I have never EVER heard any of them position their GFs in such a way.

Simply put; if she wouldn't be over the moon with a simple expression of your love at home/in a restaurant/etc. (as you claim she wouldn't), why do you think it's worth it to go through the trouble and stress of an over the top proposal?

 

[LaurenThePartier]

Nevermind. If she wouldn't be absolutely overjoyed to agree to marry you in any setting, public, private, at home or overseas, you have to ask yourself why.

 

[hoofbeats95]

I was proposed to at the top of the Eiffel Tower at the Paris Hotel in Las Vegas. It was quietly done. No one there knew it happened. Very private. However, we have a great memory. And my V-day gift this year was an Eiffel Tower necklace. No movie style - fanfare proposal that cost as much as the ring! It was as intimate as if it had happened in my own home. I loved it. It is the fact that he loved me enough to ask me to spend the rest of his life with him. Isn't that the point?

 

[amc80]

Think about some of the suggestions that you said she would figure out that something's up- spa day, charter a boat, helicopter, fancy restaurant, etc. Maybe you could tell her you won it? As in "I was listening to the radio and they were giving away a shopping spree and day a the spa, and what do you know, I was caller 99!" Not sure if that is feasible, but that way it's not like you planned something out of the ordinary, you just happened to win it.

Although I really like the idea of renting out a space and having friends and family there...proposal and engagement part in one!

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Hi,
Just my thought....if you know regardless of what you do, she's going to know something is up, why not propose right away that evening and then spend the rest of the night enjoying your time knowing the pressure is off?

 

[hoofbeats95]

Take her to a play or opera or some kind of live show. See if you can get them to let you propose on the stage. Either right before the show, just at intermission before the whole crowd leaves for the bathroom or something like that. She wants an audience - so nothing better than doing on stage in front of one!

 

[risingsun]

You might wanna read your OWN post. You're the one making her out to be some kind of diva princess who wouldn't be satisfied with anything that other *plebes* (like us?) get...

She wants a more semi-public proposal or proposal with a public element (read "fanfare") in it, so something at home is not going to cut it. She would also not likely be happy with something cliche: at dinner at a restaurant, landmark, art museum, monument, anything involving nature, a picnic, scavenger hunt, horse-drawn carriage, etc.
Her interests are difficult to work with; shopping, fine dining, clothes, makeup. She's definitely a "high-society" type of girl. And she's like a detective. Anything amiss and she'll know.

Haters? How OLD ARE YOU?

Seriously This is about spending your life together, not putting on a show.

 

[inflorescence]

If you are looking for something upscale go all out and money is not a factor.... plan a weekend away to Paris, France. Go to the champagne regions...etc. Sounds like she wants to brag about the proposal and extreme is what she is looking for. She will be able to enjoy the fantastic shopping too. Food is to die for and you will not find a place more romantic (in my mind) It sounds like she already knows its coming... say that you got a promotion and you want to celebrate with her before you have to start working more frequently??? You can use this for any location....
I think a hot air balloon ride over a gorgeous view would be pretty incredible too, and unique. I want my proposal to be a secret too, but I am realistic, its about keeping it a secret up until you get to the airport on your vacation away... and she still will not no WHEN it will happen..... Plus maybe its in your interest to play romantic decoy evenings/events... just because to make her think its the moment and then its not to set up even more of a surprise when you do.

 

[rosetta]

What kind of person expects an elaborate, over the top, public proposal?

An insecure, immature person who is more concerned about what other people think, and making a show of themselves, than her own relationship.

You have made your girlfriend out to be such a person. She's not "high-society". She's "I wanna be the heroine of my own movie".

If she wants to marry you, she will yes even if you propose with tin foil over pizza at home. A proposal is a tiny, tiny, tiny part of your life together. Stop wasting so much time on it and get on with your own life. Seriously, why are you pulling out your hair over her (or what you think are her) frankly laughable proposal requirements?

Oh and you're gonna get unwanted advice wherever you post. It's a loveable characteristic of the strong, opinionated, wiser than owls PS members.

 

[monarch64]

Private jet....or helicopter into your hotel of choice in whatever city you feel like proposing in! Apparently it's NYC...

Do something tricky like SoHo and throw her off. Have drinks in Little Italy. Have coffee in Tribeca. Take her anywhere but a late night carriage in CP. Arrange to buy her a pair of Manolos or Leboutins at midnight! And propose then! Just think of something different. She will love it. Good luck, my friend!
ETA: never mind! wow. please re-think your commitment to this woman.