HELP!!! Do I tell my friend the truth?

[leftfinger]

I have a friend who is a nice person but most certainly not the type to educate herself before doing anything

........ Anyway, she knows ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about diamonds...literally....nothing.....

She lost her wedding ring a year ago. It was an illusion setting-- so small stones made it look big....not a cluster, though.....but whatever...she lost it. She got a replacement ring at some jeweler I was not familiar with in Georgia. He told her this ring costs a lot of money. (Over 3k was what HE said it was worth...she paid less...) She took the ring with no paperwork. The minute I saw it I knew it was fake. I know it is, it isn''t even a good fake...it is very white (not the beautiful liquid silver you expect to see) and it is not "bottomless" like a real stone is...plus, it stayed fogged up for a LONG time after I blew on it (with the impression that I was cleaning it off for her) so...I think it is fake.
Should I tell her?
Does it matter?
WHat do I do?????

 

[mrssalvo]

if she herself seemed concerned and asked for your opinion then you might be able to share your concern but if she''s happy and didn''t ask for your opinion I''d stay out it.

 

[HornAround]

Yes, then after that bring henchman to the jeweler who sold it to her and demand a refund or else......

 

[tlh]

maybe she knows it is a fake, and is only telling you it isn''t.. because she may figure... eh, if I can''t tell then what''s the difference?

 

[leftfinger]

I see where you are coming from and that is what I would think, too but NO...she is not hiding anything. SHe truly believes it is real. That much I know for sure.

And--BTW, she did NOT ask me my opinion of if it was real, just if I liked it, which I do...except that it is fake.....

 

[leftfinger]

No kidding!!! UGHHH!!!! If I am right about her stone, I feel sick about it!!!

 

[nashalmaz]

I am certainly not an expert on diamonds, but if I was in the situation I would want to know.

A lot depends on her personality and her values. Most of my friends would rather find out from a friend, than hear about it years later when its too late to do anything about it.

If you are feeling very certain, maybe you could suggest that she should get it appraised (since she got such a great deal). If you know any local respectable jewelers that could take a look at it for free, without paying for the full appraisal that could be a plus.

Just my thoughts.

 

[lowphat]

If you know it''s fake and your friend believes it''s real, why wouldn''t you let her know so that she can take it back to the store and get her money back? You''re basically approving of what the jeweler is doing and standing in the sidelines just watching your friend get ripped off.

 

[leftfinger]

Your right! The problem is, she is from Georgia and that is where she replaced her ring while visiting family but she (and I) live in Hawaii. She can''t just go back. Ughhh...I feel liek I shoudl tell her what I think...not come out and say directly "FAKE" but just say. "I wish you would have gotten paperwork on it...otherwise, how do you know it is real?"
I don''t want her to find out years from now but I also don''t want her to be upset about a situation she will not be able to control.

 

[MakingTheGrade]

I would just strongly suggest that she get it appraised for insurance reasons, she did lose her last year after all..

 

[Sizzle]

I had a similar situation and here''s how I dealt with it. I have a "jewelers toolkit" that contains a loupe, diamond tester and calipers. I was playing with all of my jewels and invited my friend to play... that''s how she found out her fiance tried to pass of the fake as a real diamond.. OUCH!

 

[MMT]

Date: 4/30/2009 11:23:59 AM
Author: MakingTheGrade
I would just strongly suggest that she get it appraised for insurance reasons, she did lose her last year after all..

This sounds like a great idea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Rockit]

Agreed, the appraisal idea is excellent.

 

[ficklefaye]

i agree on the appraisal idea, if i were your friend i would want to know what i spent my money on

 

[peaches]

I "fourth" the appraisal idea. It gives her the information she needs without directly involving you.

However you decide to handle it, I hope this all gets straightened out!

 

[rickster123]

I plead the "fifth".......no, wait,....appraisal idea works, let someone else give her the bad news. All you have to do is express interest on how much "fun and exciting" it would be for you guys to go get her ring appraised........

 

[Imdanny]

Date: 4/30/2009 10:48:58 AM
Author: mrssalvo
if she herself seemed concerned and asked for your opinion then you might be able to share your concern but if she''s happy and didn''t ask for your opinion I''d stay out it.

Yep.

It''s her ring, do you really want to be involved in a situation in which she would be embarrassed and have her feelings hurt? Unless the ring is in the return period, and the contract is enforceable, and the jeweler isn''t a total jerk, and is even willing to give her her money back, I don''t think you could be helping her by telling her anything.

 

[anyname]

Date: 4/30/2009 11:26:26 AM
Author: Sizzle
I had a similar situation and here''s how I dealt with it. I have a ''jewelers toolkit'' that contains a loupe, diamond tester and calipers. I was playing with all of my jewels and invited my friend to play... that''s how she found out her fiance tried to pass of the fake as a real diamond.. OUCH!

wooow...i would not be a happy camper if that was me.

leftfinger
i think the insurance appraisal idea is the best way to go about it.

 

[CravingDiamonds]

I am going on the get an appraisal path. Tell her to get the appraisal and this way you are helping her but she won''t have a problem with you. Some people may be offended a lot if you told them their ring is fake, even if they are a good friend.

 

[makemepretty]

Gosh, that''s hard. I know someone who''s husband(a doctor) gave her a huge diamond ring. She was super excited but because it was so large she was a little weary of it being real because of it''s size. She asked me what I thought. I could tell it was fake, and it was set in silver. I told her that I thought it wasn''t real but it was still very beautiful and I could be wrong. I told her to just enjoy wearing it but since I wasn''t a jeweler I couldn''t be 100% positive. Although, I did know for sure. They don''t set 2-3ct diamonds in SILVER. Her hubby didn''t admit that it was fake even when she gave him lots of chances to. She stopped wearing it because she felt like a phony wearing it.

I know some guys think a girl can''t even tell a cz from a diamond so why spend the big bucks. Sooo stupid of them. I also think it says a lot about a guy who''d do that. When it needs cleaning, you should have her take it to a different jeweler to be cleaned and polished. My jeweler checks the diamond first with a tester to make sure it''s genuine before polishing or sizing.

 

[Imdanny]

Date: 5/1/2009 7:07:47 AM
Author: makemepretty
Gosh, that's hard. I know someone who's husband(a doctor) gave her a huge diamond ring. She was super excited but because it was so large she was a little weary of it being real because of it's size. She asked me what I thought. I could tell it was fake, and it was set in silver. I told her that I thought it wasn't real but it was still very beautiful and I could be wrong. I told her to just enjoy wearing it but since I wasn't a jeweler I couldn't be 100% positive. Although, I did know for sure. They don't set 2-3ct diamonds in SILVER. Her hubby didn't admit that it was fake even when she gave him lots of chances to. She stopped wearing it because she felt like a phony wearing it.


I know some guys think a girl can't even tell a cz from a diamond so why spend the big bucks. Sooo stupid of them. I also think it says a lot about a guy who'd do that. When it needs cleaning, you should have her take it to a different jeweler to be cleaned and polished. My jeweler checks the diamond first with a tester to make sure it's genuine before polishing or sizing.

a) that's an understatement.

b) I didn't know guys did this.

Wow. I still wouldn't get involved if I were the OP, for whatever the reason the stone is fake, but that's really wretched that guys do this- getting engaged with deceit as a symbol of the union?? Just wow.

 

[Daisi2112]

Date: 4/30/2009 11:31:29 PM
Author: peaches
I ''fourth'' the appraisal idea. It gives her the information she needs without directly involving you.


I agree

 

[leftfinger]

Hey!
I told her to get it apprasied (for insurance purposes) and she said she would but a couple of hours later she told me that USAA (our company) would insure it without an appraisal. Mine is appraised so I am not sure if she is accurate. It seems weird to me that USAA would just insure it for what she says it is worth...but...I know nothing about insurance!

 

[tyty333]

I think USAA will insure if with a copy of the receipt if it is under a certain amount. (if I''m remembering correctly).